The morning dew dampened the back of my aching throat. I had woken up again but at a more reasonable time. Shadows from the leaves danced around on the forest floor. The sky hadn't changed, it was melancholy with me.
I stiffly sat up, my grieving thoughts begging me to stay in place. Somewhere in the trees another bird greeted me with a 'good morning' song. The gesture put a little smile on my face and motivated me to get up. I brushed off the dirt from my legs and stretched. My eyes still felt puffy from last night and wanted to keep crying, but I wouldn't allow it.
As I bent down to tie the lace of my shoe, something had caught my eye. Not too far in the distance, I recognized the lower limb of the bow I'd hidden a few days ago stick out from it's burrow. I panicked as I prayed no one else had seen it over the past few days. I quickly headed towards it and grabbed it, cleaning off all the dirt and muck. The sun hadn't yet peeked over the walls yet, so I thought I had some time. My exhausted legs carried me through the forest as fast as they could as I felt the blow try to slip out of my clammy hands. My heart felt weak after only running a few minutes and meeting the mapping hut. I stopped to catch my breath and dug for the key inside of my pocket. I didn't expect any runners to come into the map room anyway, they'd all be too busy anxiously waiting at the gates...the gates! I was too caught up in returning the bow that I had a break from grieving Gally. I wouldn't let myslef fully succumb to my sorrow just yet, not until the gates opened this morning. I needed to be there the moment they peeled open so I threw the bow back in its place then slammed the door behind me.
I started jogging through the Deadheads passing by dozens of blackbirds that cheered me on. The snapping of twigs began to grow more rapid as I quickened my pace. I exploded out of the trees to see only a couple of boys start to walk towards the gates. My heart throbbed inside my chest with empty hope and despair. I wasn't too far away when I saw the gates start to reel open in front of me. No one else waited at the gates yet, it was just me.
I wheezed as my burning lungs gasped for air. My stomach spun in circles, igniting heat throughout my core. The doors were halfway open and still no sign of the boys appeared. A couple of gladers had caught up to me when I heard their footsteps creep up behind me. I kept my eyes on the maze straight in front of me and I wouldn't let go until I saw Gally.
The maze was fully exposed now. We all looked around in anticipation, but there was nothing. Some boys decided to give up and I heard them leave and head back to work. Chuck ran up beside me. He was so small compared to me, I wanted to hold him and tell him I'd never let him go. I'd never let Newt hurt him like he did to Gally. But Chuck likes Newt more, I can tell. Everyone looks up to him first.
A soft British voice came from behind me, "Anything Chuck?" I wanted to spin around and punch him right then and there. If he wanted to break the rules he should've gone into the maze and sacrificed himself. A fist formed in my knuckles but I let it go.
I felt his presence slip beside me and Chuck, "I told you, they're not coming back." Newt gently took Chuck by the shoulder and turned him to walk away. I couldn't contain my anger anymore. I stormed after Newt and shoved him from behind with all my rage.
He stumbled forwards and turned to face me, my fist meeting his face the second he did, "It's your shucking fault!!!" I screamed at him, my throat cracking between words, "You killed him!!! You killed all of them-" Before I could land another punch on his swollen face, a series of footsteps travelled behind me. I lowered my fist and prayed it wasn't just my imagination.
Every part of my body paused as my thoughts tried to catch up, "Marty!" the tallest boy screamed, sprinting around the corner of the maze. A wave of cold brushed over me as he ran closer and closer towards me.
"Gally?" I said breathlessly. I was convinced that my loathing had given me hallucinations. Every step I took towards him felt too slow. The other gladers ran past me in a wave to help Minho, Alby and Thomas, who'd all miraculously survived the maze. Gally didn't stop running towards me, and I fell straight into his arms. My legs finally gave out on me and he somehow still had the strength to hold me up. I wrapped my arms around his strong body and nudged my face into his chest. He rested his chin on the top of my head then quickly pulled away. I looked up at him, not wanting to leave the safety of his arms ever again. Before I could think, Gally leaned his face towards mine and pressed his lips against mine. It was real. Gally was alive.
When he kissed me the world fell away. I knew he was all I needed, if I ever lost him I'd be gone too. His lips comforted me in ways words never could. My fingers gently ran up his spine, he somehow pulled me closer, making sure that nothing would ever separate us like that again.
His heart beat through to mine, and I was sure I'd never feel something as beautiful again. We mutually pulled away, he wiped the salty tears off of my cheeks with his thumb and cupped my face in his hand.
We were suddenly struck by reality when the med-jacks yelled for my help. Clint and Jeff had brought out a stretcher for Alby and struggled to hold him down. Gally let go of me, already leaving me feel empty and cold. Gally, the med-jacks an I had to carry and hold him on all four ends of the stretcher. Some of the gladers stayed back to talk to Thomas and Minho while others tried to follow us into the med hut. I swatted the boys away as Alby started to thrash back and forth, resurfacing the memories of Ben.
The door of the med hut slammed shut and Alby struggled even more. We laid him down on the bed, and tied his arms and ankles back.
"Don't touch me!" He screamed. His wrists were turning red from trying to get them out of the holds. We lifted up his shirt, the top of his chest was turning blue, just as Ben's did. I turned to the counter and reached for the serum, but then I remembered there was none to search for.
"We can't just throw him in the pit." Jeff said, putting Alby's shirt back down. All of a sudden, he stopped fighting. It was like a switch had been turned off and now he only shook in the bed. I grabbed a towel and wiped the sweat from his forehead, as if doing so would help at all. I decided to tend to his wrists that were stained red from rope-burn.
"Clint, tell Newt we need to have a meeting." He nodded and sprinted out of the room calling Newt's name. It hurt to even say it, I wanted nothing to do with him. The creators had already taken everything away from me, Gally was all I had left. Then Newt ripped him out of my grasp too, and now he's back and I'm still afraid I'm dreaming.
"We should have a slopper watch him while we're gone." Gally suggested. I nodded in agreement, still tending to whatever wounds I could.
The door to the hut flew open once again, "Newt said we'd have a meeting tomorrow." Clint said still panting.
Clint and Jeff finished up with Alby while I sat in the corner. Gally's arm carefully wrapped around my shoulders like a blanket. It was strange having a dead mans arm around you after you'd convinced yourself he was gone. Normally I'd want to be alone with him, but everything was moving too fast. An hour ago I thought he was dead and now Alby is just barely hanging on.
He seemed to have already read my mind and pulled me slightly closer, "It'll be alright." Was all he said. I took his hand that rested on my shoulder and intertwined my fingers with his rough ones.
* * *
Night had taken over the sky and the stars were the only lights in the glade. My head followed the motions of Gally's chest rising and falling as he breathed. My head rested just below his heart and I would check to see if it was still beating. He started to shift a little and propped himself up against one of the walls of the lookout. We climbed up here after dinner to watch the sunset and escape all the commotion going on.
I shifted with him, my head now resting on his shoulder while he sat up. His strong arm sat across my chest and I curled up to his warm body.
"What did you think about?" I asked, tracing the constellations with my eyes, "In the maze I mean." I rolled over and sat up a little bit so I could meet his eyes.
Gally took a moment to answer, "You." He simply said, "I wanted to give up, more than once. But everywhere I ran I kept seeing you." The end of his sentence started to crack with his voice. I wanted to know more, but I was afraid he'd start to relive his nightmares everyday just as I do. I stared deep into the void of his eyes. I could almost see what he had witnessed through his eyes, it was too fresh in his mind to ask him anything else. I watched as a puddle formed in his lower eye. It pained me to see him hold back like that but I also knew he'd only feel worse if he cried in front of me. I cupped one hand around his cheek and jaw and he pulled closer. When his lips pressed against my long awaiting ones, a passion ignited in my mouth and rippled down the rest of my body. My hand travelled down his face to his well built chest. I could feel his heart beat with enthusiasm.
As hard as I tried to shove them out, cynical thoughts slipped through the cracks of my subconscious. I had killed the ember between us and it was blatantly obvious. Gally pulled away first, but my lips didn't want to let go, "What's wrong?" He asked softly.
Heavy tar coated my heart and it submerged deep into my chest, "I can't." I whispered. It was impossible for me to describe, "I want to, but I'm afraid I'll lose you again. If I were confident that things weren't going to change I'd give anything to be with you. But something tells me it's not going to stay this way."
Gally's face sunk. Our kiss had just cured his sadness, but I'd torn the hope right out of his hands. He only nodded and I hoped he understood. I wanted to love him, but I can't risk losing him again.
"How about when we get out?" He said when which surprisingly made me feel better.
"I'll be ready." My face sunk back down to his chest and we gazed back up at the stars.
One of Gally's hands played with my hair. I could feel his warm cheek rest against the top of my head, "That song, the one you sang the first time I led you up the look out; I tried to remember it in the maze."
"I'm not taking any requests buddy." I snickered.
Gally annoyingly poked the top of my head, "Please, I'll never ask again." I swatted his finger away from my head and took a deep sigh. My voice was rough, and not angelic in the slightest. But it had soothed me yesterday, and I almost wondered if Gally tried to remember it the same time I was singing it.
Stars shining bright above you,
Night breezes seem to whisper
'I love you'
Birds singing in the sycamore tree
Dream a little dream of me.
"I'm sure there was more." He pouted.
"No!" I said, but gave into him anyway.
Say nighty night and kiss me,
Just hold me tight and tell me you'll
miss me
Gally wrapped his arm around me once again and squeezed me just a little. I felt him place a gentle kiss on the top of my head as my eyes grew heavier and wanted to shut.
While I'm alone and blue as can be
Dream a little dream of me