Chapter 9:
The whole room went dead silent as I finally spoke the truth.
I looked down at my feet, trying to avoid eye contact with anyone.
"Are you being serious?" I heard Joe ask in a whisper tone.
I nodded, still not looking up, and felt tears prick my eyes.
No, I can't cry. I have to be stronger than that. I'm not going to be living in sorrow for the rest of my life.
I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up to see Caspar with tears pooling in his eyes and sadness written all over his expression.
With a wavering voice he asked me, "Could you tell us a little more about it?"
I slowly nodded and looked up at everyone else, which broke my heart even more.
Everyone was either fighting back tears, or they were already streaming down their cheeks. Zoe, Tanya, and Louise all had smudged makeup as well.
I took a deep breath and started on with my story. "I learned this information about a week ago, the day before Niall and I were leaving to go to the flat here that the One Direction lads own. My cancer is in my arm again, it's type four this time, and I didn't want to tell any of the boys. Harry found out though and the others proceeded to too. I had been going to chemo, but they decided that..." I trailed off and cleared my throat again. I did not want to continue, but it's for their sake. "They decided that they're going to amputate my arm instead so I won't have to have chemo." I concluded.
I felt the tension in the air get thicker as I heard some small gasps from those around me.
"When is your surgery?" I heard Louis mumble with his eyes cast down, looking at the floor.
I bit my lip and ran a hand through my short hair. "Tomorrow."
Everyone was still silent, avoiding eye contact with each other.
I felt mixed emotions brewing up inside of me, but they can't see how broken I really am.
What if people start judging me. What if everyone thinks I'm just an attention hog.
What if everyone thinks I'm selfish.
Anger, fear, and sadness boiled up inside of me. A few tears trickled down my cheeks as well.
I don't want anything to change more than it already has.
Caspar, who was still beside me, pulled me into his chest and I rested my head below his chin.
"We don't care if you cry. Just let it all out." He whispered into my ear.
That's all it took to make me start to gradually cry my whole heart out.
My sobs echoed through the apartment as I put all of my emotions that I as hiding into them.
I completely collapsed into Caspar's arms, not being able to hold myself up anymore, and he picked me up bridal style.
He whispered soothing things to me as I sobbed into his shirt.
I didn't notice, but he started walking towards his room to try to get me to calm down.
He laid me in his bed and pulled the duvet over my shaking body before crawling in next to me and holding me close.
I tried taking deep breaths, but failed and continued to sob as tears poured down my face.
Caspar stroked my hair and cooed soothing words to me as I started to calm down.
I hiccuped and slowly closed my eyes, falling into a dreamless sleep with Caspar comforting me.
~
I woke up to sounds of shouting as if someone was fighting.
I noticed that Caspar was no longer next to me, and sighed as the yelling continued.
I could barely understand anything they were saying because of the walls, but I could make out some bits and pieces.
I think everyone is yelling, and they're arguing about... me.
"What do you want me to do?! Ignore her?!" I heard Caspar shout.
"I just don't want you being all cozy around her! She's going through a lot and a relationship is something that she doesn't need now!" Zoe argued.
"I just want to make her happy!" I heard Caspar yell back.
This is getting a little bit out of hand for my liking.
I quietly got out of Caspar's bed and exited the room, making no sound.
I started walking down the small hallway that led into the den where I assumed everyone was.
As I entered, I heard everyone bickering at each other now.
Zoe had her back to me and was facing in front of Caspar.
"Well it's not like it matters anymore. She's not going to live much longer anyways!" Zoe shouted.
I gasped and the whole room went silent as everyone noticed my presence.
I put a hand up to my mouth as tears started to build up in my eyes.
Zoe turned around with widened eyes as she started blubbering out apologies.
She doesn't care.
And if she doesn't care, I doubt that any of them care.
"Just leave me alone." I whispered as I turned and ran back into the kitchen, grabbed my bag, and left the flat.
I started running away from that place as fast as I could.
I need Harry right now.
I quickly checked behind me to see if they were following me, but they weren't.
What nice friends they are.
I dat down in a metal bench and pulled out my phone to call Harry.
I looked around at my surroundings as I held up my phone to my ear.
I guess it's about five in the morning, the sun is just about rising.
"Hello?" I heard Harry ask in a raspy and groggy morning voice.
"Can you come and get me?" I asked desperately.
I could hear him getting out of bed now, "Where are you?"
I sighed and looked up towards a road sign, "I'm sitting on a bench at Park Avenue."
I heard more muffled sounds and a door closing before he spoke again, "Alright, I'll be there in about a half hour."
I hung up after saying goodbye and sat back on the uncomfortable metal.
I'm going to have to be careful with the people I trust now.
Sometimes the people you would take a bullet for are standing behind the trigger.
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Yay for the update!
Oh kill em' Zoella is not as nice as you think she is...
JK she's AWESOME I LOVE HER SO MUCH
anyways....
Love y'all