My eyes have done a lot of opening within the past 12 hours or so. When they opened again the sunlight was beaming in my face. I looked around, gathering my surroundings and realized that I was on the floor, alone.
I proceeded to get dressed since I was still half naked. There had been a blanket covering me. As soon as I finished the backyard door in front of me slid open.
"Good morning. How'd you sleep?" Jackson asked me.
My nose felted clogged, I wiped at my face.
"I've had better sleep."
He laughs.
"Hey, I would have made you comfortable but you kept passing out on me."
"I understand," I nod.
"We're outside eating breakfast if you want to join."
I notice him heading back out with a plate of food.
"What you got?"
He looks down at the plate.
"We're munching on crepes and fruit, plus there's mimosas," he drags out the word mimosas and grins.
I almost vomit.
"I'm good on that. I ain't drinking again for a while."
Jackson reminded me of D, which was a thought I was trying to avoid having.
"Ain't nobody gonna force you but come get some crepes," he says before heading back out.
I wasn't really in a hurry. I felt down again. I randomly checked my phone and noticed some messages from Derek and Brie.
I finally get around to stepping foot outside.
"Les!" Jackson waves me over.
I walk over and get a good look at the food which does look good.
"Cop a squat," Givanté tells me.
I look across from me at D texting on his phone.
"Actually, I'm thinking about heading out."
That grabs everyone's attention.
"What? Why? At least have breakfast. I can drive y'all home," Jackson says.
"I'm not hungry," I tell him and shrug.
It's silent. I could only feel one set of eyes on me. I didn't mean to ruin their little happy time but point blank my ass was hung over and the smell of mimosas is about to make me throw up and I would just rather be in a bathtub right now.
"Okay," Jackson finally says.
"I'll text you though so we could get up together again some time, before the program starts."
He nods.
"It was nice to finally meet you, Givanté, happy belated."
"Thanks man, come back again some time."
"No doubt, this is a nice crib."
We lightly chuckle. I spot Jackson looking between me and D before I turn to walk away.
"Les."
I slowly turn around and see D looking at me intensely with a questioning look. I simply stare back at him before continuing to head out.
This early morning walk was so refreshing. The cherry on top would be getting my ass in the tub. The streets were quiet and things were peaceful. The walk was much needed and I didn't regret leaving at all.
I get back to the spot and proceed to make my way to the bathroom. I preferred having some bubbles but there wasn't any bubble bath so I used dishwashing liquid.
Once things were looking right I hoped in and started to relax. That's when I noticed how sore my body was. I was reminded that I fell on the floor last night who knows how many times. It was that good sore feeling.
Not too long later I heard the door open and shut. I kept my eyes closed, my head thrown back. Eventually the steps make their way to me. His shadow lingered over me, all was still.
"What was up with this morning?" He finally asks.
"Wasn't feeling good," I say.
It was silent for a while before I heard him sigh and make a movement. I open my eyes and watch him sit on the toilet seat. He looks back at me.
"How're you feeling now?" He asks softly.
I look back at the water.
"Better."
No one talks for a while. I roll my head side to side. The only thing I watch is the water. Everything was still. The silence was a little awkward at first but the longer it stretches out the more used to it I become.
"Les."
I slowly look over at D. He had his head down, messing with his fingers.
"I'm sorry about last night," he pauses. "I love you, Les, it had nothing to do with you but I'm just not thinking about marriage right now. And there's many reasons for that."
I nod my head.
"I understand."
And I really did. As disappointed as I was, I completely understood. I thought about it a lot on my walk back home. Yeah I've known D most of my life and have been living with him for weeks, we haven't been dating for that long.
But there is that other part of me that just knows. I know that I love D so much that I only want to marry him some day. I never thought this certainty would ever come to me seeing as how just weeks ago the thought of marriage even made me anxious.
But I won't talk about it for now. Baby steps, I guess.
We made up though. I couldn't be mad at D seeing as how quick he was to patch things up and that's just one of the million things I love about him.
That evening the fireworks started.
"Was that thunder?" I asked D while I did the dishes.
"That really sounded like thunder to you?" D laughed at me.
He was sitting in the living room chilling, kind of a rare sight. I laughed in turn.
"I got water going on."
"It was fireworks."
"Fireworks?"
"Yeah..."
"But it's June."
"They set it off early around here. They're actually kind of late with it this year. Niggas usually start on June 1 and don't stop until the end of August."
"So all summer."
"All summer."
"Okay then."
Later that night when the sky was just becoming dark enough we got dressed in sweats and sat outside on the steps and watched the display. It was a calm night otherwise. D's "neighbors" were quiet... better yet nonexistent. My hand went a short distance to grab onto Damario's. In turn he placed his head on my shoulder and cuddled closer.