Chase stared at the digital alarm clock on the nightstand beside his bed in the guest cottage. It read 9:59 p.m. Blinking, it turned to 10:00 p.m. He'd been lying on his bed watching the minutes click by since coming down off the roof with Nathan. He just couldn't make his mind up. He'd wanted to call Jarod all day but had repeatedly chickened out since swiping his number from Tyler's phone when Tyler was in the shower this morning. How would he even begin the conversation?
"Hey Jarod, it's Chase... yeah, the guy you made out with in the bushes last night.... I was just wondering if you wanted to... what?"
What if he denied it even happened? It wasn't like Jarod had handed Chase his number. Christie had been all over that. And then there had been the issue of how to explain to Tyler that he wanted to hang out with Jarod, and at this point, preferably alone. Tyler had headed to the movies with Bre, but then not quite so conveniently his dad had taken Chase at his word that he was too tired to go out and invited him for male bonding time. Which had turned out to be surprisingly... enjoyable. Mr. Davidson was so much like Tyler: funny, charismatic, and definitely handsome. It had been so comfortable talking with him, he almost felt like Mr. Davidson might understand if he brought up Jarod even more than Tyler might.
For a second Chase let his mind wander to his own father, whom he had barely known. He had to conjure up images of the man, memories he'd tried desperately to hold on to over the years and that were dangerously close to slipping away for good. He wouldn't have even remembered his father's voice if it weren't for the few family videos he had played repeatedly, especially in the early years following his death. Grainy camcorder footage of the two of them at the fire hall where his father had worked, decked out in matching firefighter gear. A four-year-old boy helping his daddy wash the fire truck. It was so surreal, as if that hadn't been him or his life at all but had belonged to someone else. It had been taken from him, and so all he had left were a few fleeting images of the man to cling to.
Chase pushed the memories of his father out of his head. He spent so much of his life reconstructing and analyzing the past, and he felt exhausted by it. He wanted to live the way he had last night—spontaneously. He wanted to feel again what it was like when all the thoughts stopped and he was left with only the sanctity of the moment. He wanted to see Jarod.
He picked up his phone for the umpteenth time that day and finally pressed the Call button where it had sat blinking on Jarod's name all day. And then he waited as it rang, his heart beating a staccato rhythm.
"Yup, it's Jarod."
"It's Chase. How's it going?"
"How'd you get this number?" The voice was a little gruff on the other end of the line.
"I uh, I swiped it from Tyler's phone," Chase admitted, already regretting all of this.
"Good work, super sleuth. I was just about to drive over there and get yours myself." Jarod was laughing now, and Chase couldn't help but join in, a sense of relief washing over him.
"Well, maybe you should drive over here anyway. I've not really seen much of the area, you know. You could be my tour guide." Chase was surprised at his coy response. Had he actually been smooth just now? Don't get ahead of yourself, Romeo. You've only been at this a day.
"Ten minutes. I've got a blue truck."
"Okay." Chase hung up and a terrifying excitement crept over him. Ten minutes? He walked to the floor-length mirror and decided that nothing reflected in it was working. He quickly stripped down and ran to the shower. Last night he was sure he had smelled like campfire, and he wanted to be sure he gave the best impression possible tonight. Chase smiled as the water splashed against his body. He imagined Jarod's lustrous brown eyes staring back at him and began to feel a warm sensation gathering in his stomach and spreading out through his body. Chase wasn't thinking anymore. He was simply swimming in this new emotion, and it felt great.
Chase stepped out of the shower and, grabbing a towel, stole a glance at the digital alarm clock. Five minutes and counting. He whipped the towel around his body, drying off faster than he'd imagined possible, and darted for the closet, which wasn't a closet at all but a thick wooden dowel hung on brackets. He and Tyler had hung all their clothes together. About halfway through the college year, they had given up on separate closets as so much borrowing and swapping had gone back and forth. It was easier to just take what was needed, wash, and return it to the communal hangers. This system had rarely caused a problem, usually when Chase had borrowed (or was wearing) a shirt that Tyler had in mind for a date. But in essence they had both doubled their wardrobe, so most grievances were set aside after some momentary grumbling. Chase had always felt that he had made out well in the agreement. Tyler's clothes always bore an enviable label while his own, well... didn't. Tyler didn't seem to notice, and Chase had never caught him pulling back a collar to examine a tag.
Chase flipped through the clothes and selected a baby blue polo of Tyler's. It had always been a favorite, and he thought it made Tyler's eyes appear even more blue, if that were possible. He pulled it on, grabbed a pair of jeans, and hiked them up, turning back to the mirror. No time for hair, he decided with another quick glance at the clock. He pulled on a navy ball cap and drew a deep breath, giving himself a nervous once-over in the mirror. That's as good as it's gonna get in ten minutes. He smiled at his reflection. Tonight, he was going on his first date with a guy.
Chase flicked off the light in the guest cottage and walked into the yard. The night air felt good; it was cooler than the evening had been on the roof but still warm enough for his short sleeves. He could smell the moonflowers and evening primrose hard at work blooming and spreading their fragrance on their night shift in the garden. The maple and poplar trees sang softly in the breeze, their leaves slipping against one another. Chase looked up and saw the stars that were only beginning to appear earlier in the evening sky now shining brightly. The moon was a glowing crescent and hung low over the lake, casting its beam across the water like a silvery boardwalk. He breathed in the night garden and whispered to himself a verse he had thought he'd long forgotten.
"Four days will quickly steep themselves in night;
Four nights will quickly dream away the time;
And then the moon, like to a silver bow
New-bent in heaven, shall behold the night."
A Midsummer Night's Dream. It certainly felt like it.
Jarod's blue truck idled in the driveway as Chase walked around the corner of the house. Jarod's attention was focused on the stereo, but he looked up and smiled when Chase tapped on the passenger window. He leaned over and opened the door. "Welcome to the finest sightseeing tour available around Prospect Lake."
Chase climbed up into the truck and was surprised to hear what was on the stereo. Rich violins and cellos were dueling between the left and right speakers. He knitted his eyebrows quizzically at Jarod.
"Yo-Yo Ma on Bach's Cello Suites. You don't like it?"
"No, it's beautiful, just not what I was expecting," Chase admitted.
"Just because I wear a jersey doesn't mean classical music doesn't bend my ear," Jarod said defensively. "Obviously we have a lot to learn about each other. Where do you want to start?"
"How about you show me your favorite spots around the lake," Chase suggested, buckling up.
Yo-Yo Ma's cello soared as Jarod pulled onto the street and headed down the twisty tree-lined road. Chase unrolled his window and let his hand play in the wind, trying to match it to the fluctuations in the music, dipping down as the music retreated and then climbing in a crescendo. He was lost in the perfect mathematics of the music when he felt a warm hand on his.
Chase turned and Jarod smiled, his eyes meeting Chase's for a moment before returning to the road. Chase looked down and interlocked their fingers, liking the way the different skin tones made a pattern. Feeling Jarod's rough skin excited Chase, and he rubbed his thumb over the back of his date's hand, enjoying the intimate detail of the little dark hairs there. Allowing his eyes to wander up Jarod's arm, he noticed the thickness of his forearms and how the muscles naturally stretched the cotton sleeves of his T-shirt. He wanted to run his hands up to Jarod's bicep and feel the firmness there. He blew out a breath and brought his eyes back to the road. His head was already swimming with all the pheromones in the truck.
"So where you taking me?" Chase asked.
"I was kind of thinking it would be safest for us to park as soon as possible. I'm having trouble keeping my mind on the road." Jarod laughed. "There's a great scenic spot at the top of Little Saanich Mountain to look down on the lake."
"Sounds good to me," Chase responded, and suddenly his heart was beating somewhere up near his throat. A lookout spot? That sounded conspicuously like the type of place where people went to make out. A bunch of cars with steamy windows parked in a row on a cliff. Hands tensed like cats' claws raking down through the condensation on the glass and a psychopath lurking in the woods with a murder weapon ready to cut them all to bits. Maybe he had seen too many horror films.
The truck wound up the gravel road on Grouse Mountain, and Chase rolled his window up. The air was getting cooler up here. Through the windshield the star-filled sky was only visible through intermittent breaks in the dense forest. Jarod slowed and turned off the main road onto an even narrower gravel path through the woods. They drove for another few minutes, and all at once the giant fir trees gave way to a clearing on the mountainside. The moon appeared to hang directly in front of them over the lake far below. There was no long line of fogged-up cars, only the two of them and Yo-Yo Ma's precise fingers recounting Bach's masterpiece.
"It's beautiful," Chase whispered, edging farther up in his seat to take in the view.
"I thought you'd like it," Jarod said, but his eyes weren't on the sky or the lake below; he was turned in his seat and looking at Chase. "So you stole my number, huh? Couldn't even wait for me to give it to you?"
Chase smirked. "Well, if you were a little more on the ball, I wouldn't have had to go digging. Christie beat you to it. You're just lucky I'm not out with her tonight."
"I'd say we're both lucky," Jarod said and reached for Chase's hand again, pulling him closer on the bench seat. Jarod slid over and they sat side by side in the old truck, ignoring the view and just taking in each other.
Chase slid his hand up the arm he'd been tempted by and held tight to the muscle there, smiling. "Work out much?"
"A little...." Jarod laughed and leaned in to kiss Chase's neck.
The warmth of Jarod's mouth on his throat made Chase's pulse race, and he closed his eyes in pleasure when the other boy's tongue flicked and explored around his ears. Chase dragged his hand down Jarod's arm and grabbed his thigh, massaging the muscle through his jeans. It was obvious Jarod spent a good amount of time training and in the gym; he was well-built all over.
Jarod kissed along Chase's jawline and paused on his chin, drawing his mouth up until he reached Chase's lips. They kissed softly, brushing their lips against each other while locking eyes. Chase stuck his tongue out slowly and licked Jarod's lips, curiously tasting him. Jarod patiently let him explore and then slipped his own tongue out so the two danced together.
Jarod rested his forehead against Chase's and whispered across the darkness, "Come on, let me show you the best dreaming spot around." He reached behind the seat and pulled out a black-and-blue plaid blanket, then hopped out of the truck.
Chase followed and watched Jarod climb up into the bed of the truck, carefully lay out the blanket, and then turn and offer him a hand up. "What exactly is a dreaming spot?" Chase asked as he grabbed Jarod's hand and felt himself pulled almost effortlessly up onto the tailgate.
"Let me show you, handsome," Jarod said and lay down on the blanket, folding his hands behind his head. Chase followed his lead and joined Jarod, one arm crooked comfortably behind his head and the other resting on Jarod's stomach. The fir trees seemed to stretch on forever into the night, and high above, long strokes of colored light chased each other across the sky. The tops of the trees were like pointed paintbrushes splashing iridescent hues over one another before fading into the blackness and beginning again.
"It's beautiful," Chase whispered. "I don't remember the last time I saw the northern lights."
"It happens pretty regularly out here, far away from the city," Jarod said, reaching one hand down and joining it with Chase's.
"I'm glad you came out to the fire last night. I was considering drowning myself in the lake before you showed up." Chase turned to look at Jarod. "How do you stand it?"
"What's that?"
"The constant lying, the pretending to be people that we're not."
"I'm not lying to anyone. I am who I am," Jarod said casually, but there was a defensive tone beneath the surface.
"Does anyone here know you like guys?" Chase challenged.
"Does anyone here know you like guys?" Jarod echoed.
"No."
"So why would they have to know? That's my business, not theirs."
"But these people are supposed to be our friends. Doesn't it feel like the friendship only goes so far when we're not telling the entire truth?" Chase asked, knowing the question was as much for himself as it was for Jarod. "I guess sometimes I just get tired of all the games."
Jarod rolled over and started tickling Chase. "What about this game? Are you tired of playing this game?"
"Yeowww! Stop it!" Chase howled as Jarod's fingers ravished him. "Okay, okay!"
Jarod rolled on top of Chase and held his hands above his head, then leaned down and kissed him. "Don't get all serious on me. Let's just have fun, okay?"
"Okay." Chase smiled back and, with the delicious weight of Jarod on top of him and the northern lights burning across the sky above them, agreed there was nothing to get upset about. How could anyone have a problem with something as beautiful as this?
It was almost one in the morning when Jarod dropped Chase off. They had fallen asleep in each other's arms in the back of the truck, looking up at the dazzling summer sky. Jarod was right; it was a great dreaming spot. Chase crossed the yard and slipped into the guest cottage quietly, but he had beaten Tyler home. He couldn't help but smile as he undressed and thought about his night with Jarod. He was anxious to see him again already.
It was going to be a challenge to keep this a secret from Tyler. And wouldn't it just be easier if they told Tyler the truth? Sure, it might take some getting used to, but the whole idea of being out was going to take some getting used to for Chase too. Maybe he was being too quick with this whole idea of coming out. After all, it might be easier for him to come out in a place where he knew very few people. What about for Jarod? He'd spent his summers here since childhood, like Tyler. He probably knew half the people around the lake. Chase was considering coming out to Tyler, his family, and a small assortment of people he'd just met. And he'd just met Jarod for that matter. His spirits sank as he realized how irrational he was being. What right did he have to talk to Jarod about coming out? He barely knew the guy. "Don't get all serious on me. Let's just have fun...." Wasn't that what Jarod had said? Maybe it wasn't the same at all for Jarod. Maybe he didn't consider Chase relationship material but had just stumbled upon something convenient.
Chase climbed into bed and shook his head. That wasn't it. There was something special developing between him and Jarod. He had to believe in providence. It was too much of a coincidence otherwise. Obviously, they had been meant to meet last night, and obviously they were meant to spend their summer nights together....
Just then, Tyler walked in and interrupted Chase's daydreaming. He dove onto his bed and threw a pillow at Chase. "You're still up?"
"Couldn't sleep."
"That's because you're not getting any action. Unlike me, fully serviced, thank you," Tyler said, beaming a smile at Chase as if this information would impress him.
"Congratulations."
"Dude, what is wrong with you? You stay home and play board games instead of hooking up. Christie was probably waiting, primed for you like a cat in heat," Tyler said, taking a pillow and ramming his hips against it to emphasize his point.
"I'm just not into it," Chase answered, shaking his head at Tyler's freshman behavior.
"You know what they say, use it or lose it."
As Tyler got ready for bed, Chase considered his advice. Maybe Tyler was right. There was no reason he had to remain a virgin at the end of the summer. It just wouldn't be Christie who would be his undoing.
The next morning Chase awoke early and was inspired. It seemed his libido wasn't the only thing that had gotten a charge on the mountaintop the previous night. He slipped out of bed and crossed to the makeshift closet and dug through his duffel bag, pulling out his brushes, oils, and a folding easel. He had brought a selection of stretched canvases and fingered through the sizes that rested against the wall by his bed. He wasn't even sure what he would paint, but as he set up his workstation on the small patio outside the guest cottage, a muse caught his eye.
Mrs. Davidson was sitting in the breezeway of the house having her morning coffee and looking out over the lake. She appeared deep in thought as Chase got to work, careful not to alert her to his presence. He wanted to observe her just like this, in a private moment. And in that moment, which Stacey believed to be all her own, Chase noticed something. He noticed that his best friend's mother did not appear happy. In fact, she appeared riddled with an age-old worry, one that was not easily put to rest.