JIN looked at his reflrction and felt like he was looking at someone else.
The white shirt made him look handsome, the Armani black suit with a matching tie that his parents had given him on his last birthday fit him perfectly, but when he watched himself in the mirror of his room all he saw was a stranger that only had his face.
The corners of his eyes were red and his once neatly combed hair looked tousled. Combing the mess on his head with his hand he tried to force a smile on his face, which did not work. So he went and sat on the edge of his pristine white bed and flashbacks of what had happened in the previous hours ran through his mind.
He did not think he would see that person today.
Jin had lived a lavish life, his parents were rich and busked him in a lush lifestyle yet they also wrapped him around in a golden satin cloak. Jin always got whatever he wanted but not what he needed.
Freedom was one of the things he needed.
Even when he was living in the dorm by himself now, much to his parent's disdain, the shackles of his past had made its way latching onto his bones.
He was breathing and sleeping in his own skin of course, but did not feel so.
Often he would meet his parents and they would remind him what they needed from him. What he needed, was never really important anyway.
When Jin met up with his mother to have lunch in an expensive traditional restaurant as they had scheduled a week earlier, he thought she had brought him to meet with some business partner he'd soon get affiliated with, or another conglomerate who would come in handy someday.
The golden and black interior, the wooden table, and bonsais decorated alongside the private eating room at the restaurant were suffocating Jin, the tie too.
That's why he found himself outside the men's toilet and going through his own Instagram account where he had uploaded pictures of food he had made or ate outside on several occasions.
However, when he felt his mother approaching him with quick short steps on her black high heels he quickly locked off his phone and stood still with his hands down in a polite manner.
"They are here," she said as if she was spilling a secret, a few creases on her aged forehead. His mother was shorter than him and from above he could see the few gray hairs carefully hidden behind her dark ones.
Like a habit her hands glided on the pearl necklace that adorned her neck and fit her black dress well, but there was a frown on her small face and Jin found her looking at his hand placed by his side, his phone.
"What is that?" She pointed with the same hand that was stroking her necklace before it met the back of her neck and she looked up at him in worry.
"This?" Jin lifted his hand, a white alpaca doll with a red scarf was attached to his phone's case. "I got it from one of my housemates."
Jin recalled Hoseok coming by with two key chains one day, one that was shaped like a horse and another that was this, an alpaca. "Which should I use?" He asked Jin with a furrow on his face before laughing and choosing the horse himself anyway.
The older did not know what he was thinking when he accepted the other as Hoseok gifted him that. He did not know what he was thinking when he even attached that to his phone but now that he was met with his mother's gaze of disapproval that he was so familiar with, he knew he had done wrong.
"That doesn't really suit your style, Seokjin," the short woman said in a tone that was as gentle and as strict at the same time.
Jin felt the chains in his bone pull again, swiftly, he got rid of the alpaca and put it on his other pocket. "Yes, mother."
"Now," she smiled and her full lips smeared with bright red lipstick tugged on the corners of her mouth as her hands fell on his shoulders. Lightly she dusted off his suit with her palms. "Come. You will love who you will meet today."
The subtle excited tone in her voice made Jin go through his shelves of memory to find anyone attached to his name or family that he would like to meet, but he could not find any names.
Following his mother's back, he entered the private room again before putting off his shoes and bowing his head to the other two people without looking.
But when his eyes met their faces, a middle aged lady and a boy around Jin's age by her left, Jin froze up.
Suddenly his world felt like it would collapse, as if the ground under his feet had gotten removed and the dirt would swallow him in, as if the room was not already stiff enough but it was an ocean without any piece of land anywhere near sight and he had fallen down there.
Sweat formed into beads on his glassy forehead as he sat down by his mother, no words of exchange or his mother's shrill voice got inside his brain.
He only saw August's hazel green eyes warming up as he smiled at Jin showing his gum, his smile hadn't changed a bit even when it had been a decade.
"How long has it been? Ten years or twelve?" he could finally hear his mother chime at the other lady. "You should've brought your husband too!"
"He did not come with us on this trip, really busy with the business. You know how he is," the lady in white answered before her eyes fell on Jin and she made a gasping sound. "Jinnie has changed so much! He looks too handsome now!"
"August too," His mother laughed from the side. "Jin has done his bachelors in civil engineering, and now getting masters in computer engineering, I asked him, why did you take up such hard majors? You are going to anchor your father's hotel business anyway! But he loves studying and-"
Jin found himself disconnecting from the spiel his mother was giving. He did not know what was the reason for her to tell a lie. Jin had gotten bachelors in hotel management, now in his masters on tourism.
It was perfect for the world he was getting into, but seemingly not enough for his own mother.
He never liked studying, and even August's mother would know that.
August Hendrik, his sister Julie, his father who was American and mother who was Korean lived in the mansion next to Jin's for years. Jin knew them since childhood and they knew him well too.
"Did you get the gift I sent you?" Jin felt like he was resurfacing from the ocean again as he heard the boy before him say.
"Son, I gave your number and address to August after he came here," his mom told him with her lips tightly pressed in a smile before she turned to the other female. "Isn't it so great to see childhood friends get reunited?"
If she knew everything she would have kept August a hundred feet away from Jin.
"I think there was a wrong digit in the number," the hazel eyed boy with his brown curly hair chuckled softly. "Jin never replied."
Jin was staring down on his hands made into fists that rested on his lap, his knuckles turning white and nails digging into the flesh of his palms. The noose of his tie felt like it was tightening around his throat like a rope.
It felt so suffocating he thought he would die.
He could not remember the last time he had lost it in front of any of his parents, but that moment nothing matter. Before Jin knew he had stood up, rashly wore his shoes and stormed out from there.
He did not hear his own mother's cry, could not process another gasp of shock from August's mother.
Now that his phone was constantly vibrating from his dressing table he only sat on his bed trying to catch a breath. His eyes fell on the lit screen a few feet away and the sailor moon comic books stashed next to it.
He had gotten August's gifts.
Soon Jin's erratic breathing died down, but his jumbled up brain did not untangle. To calm himself Jin quickly thought if he should clean his room again, but it was neat. Then he thought if he would clean the kitchen, but he had a bickering with Taehyung the other day and he did not want to meet Taehyung there like this.
He was not mad at Taehyung, he was only scared if he would see more than he should have. Not like he had already when he stepped inside Jin's room.
Jin resorted to rearrange his wardrobe. And when he opened the white piece of furniture he was met with outfits he would die to wear but never did.
What was the meaning of his constant cleaning sprees anyway if he himself felt dirty?
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A/n: I am so excited to write Jin's arc!
Anyway if you like watching anime there's a movie called hotarubi no mori e. I've watched it countless times throughout the years, you should give it a chance too. I swear I cried every time.