"I'm sorry... what?"
Bewilderment plastered itself all over Jimin's face. The cogs of his brain were spinning furiously as he tried to process what I'd said.
My eyes met his, reflecting the same uncertainty. "I don't know. She just said he's a stalker and that I need to stay away from him."
Jimin furrowed his brows, shaking his head. "That doesn't make any sense."
He was right. Why would Nari have made a bet with her own stalker? Why wouldn't she have warned me before I got together with him if she knew of his obsessive tendencies? No normal person would have continued texting their stalker, either.
I still had to consider her claim. I needed to hear an explanation from her so that I could choose for myself what to believe.
"I'm calling her," I announced, pressing the video call button. Jimin carefully moved out of the frame, presumably so that Nari would think I was alone.
Within a few short seconds, she answered. She looked just as I remembered, with straight honey-blonde hair and chocolate almond eyes. Her nose was soft like the rest of her features, save for the angular jawline.
"Jangmi, look... I know you have no reason to trust me. I know what I did was awful, but just hear me out," she said, pausing for me to respond.
"So far it's not adding up for me. Why would you have been talking to him and making a bet with him if he was stalking you?" I questioned.
Nari sighed, "I never told you when he stalked me. He didn't start until after you two broke up. I saw him following me several times around town and he kept showing up to my apartment. Even when I didn't answer the door, he would refuse to leave until hours later."
"Did you do anything about it? Did you file for a restraining order?" I inquired, observing how she instantly shook her head.
"I told him that I was going to report him, but he apologized and promised he would stop. I didn't believe him at first, but he actually ended up keeping his word."
I simmered in silence. While I remained quiet, unable to sort my thoughts, Nari continued.
"Maybe it doesn't sound that bad, but he was obsessive even when we were still together. He never liked me going anywhere without him. He hated it if I even looked at another guy. He was always texting me even when I told him I would be busy for a few hours. And when we broke up, he was in denial about it for weeks. He kept contacting me and eventually, I made the bet with him as a way to get him to leave me alone. I thought if I could get him focused on someone else, he'd finally get over-"
"Did you not think about the fact that a third person would be involved? Did you not realize that your little game would actually impact someone else?" I was at a boil by then, and my words went spilling over uncontrollably, "You had to have known after so much time passed that your stupid bet would hurt me. Yet you did nothing. You never came to tell me that our relationship was a lie. You never did anything but wait for him to break my heart," I spat, "You're a selfish bitch for sitting back and letting that happen to me!"
Staring into the screen were eyes gleaming with ferocity, cheeks tainted an angry crimson - a red that nearly matched the wine-colored hair that framed the very same face.
Nari was calm.
I, on the other hand, had let myself grow heated. The pain I carried within me had risen over time and needed to be released.
"You're right. I was only thinking of me when I made that bet with him," she spoke impassively, "What I did was wrong, but what I'm trying to do now is make it up to you. I didn't have to reply to you. I didn't have to warn you about Jin, but I am because I don't want you to get hurt by him a second time. And I'm afraid it'll be more than your emotions that will get hurt this time around."
The slow breaths that filled my lungs weren't enough to rid my fury, but they managed to ground me just enough to feign calm.
I thanked her for the warning, asked her to send any proof she might have of Jin's stalking, then proceeded to end the call.
There was no hesitation from Jimin. He pulled me into his embrace the second I set the phone down. With my back against his chest and his arms encircling me from behind, his warmth, rather than heating me up, seemed to cool me down. My flaming cheeks no longer burned and my pounding heart ceased to race.
"You have every right to be angry," his velvet voice muttered into my hair, "She hurt you. They both did. But I don't want to see this take hold of you."
"I know, Jimin. But telling you about the real reason behind our breakup and now talking to her... I feel like it just happened. Like I'm living through it again," I said weakly.
"You're not, Jangmi. I know it's painful but you're already worked up about this letter thing. I don't want you to have even more weight to bear."
I began moving and he released me, allowing me to shift so that I could face him. "Then I have to confront Jin about this. The sooner, the better."
He frowned, concern sparking in his eyes. "I don't know if that's a good idea."
"You said it yourself, Jimin. I need to let this go as soon as possible but I can't do that until I get to the bottom of it."
"But what if he is the person sending you those letters? What if he really is dangerous like Nari says? If you confront him, we don't know what he might do."
I grabbed his hands. "I get what you're saying, but if he is the one behind all of this, I truly don't think he plans to harm me. I mean, this is Jin we're talking about. He would never physically hurt me."
What he said next cut deep, though I couldn't blame him. His words were right despite bringing a painful twinge with them.
"I'm pretty sure you never thought he would break your heart either."
~
The next hour was spent bickering back and forth about what to do and what not to do. We couldn't come to an agreement on whether to confront Jin or not, or even how we would confront him if we did. As the clock continued to tick away and we had still failed to come up with any shared ideas, we agreed to wait until we could think of a unified plan.
Jimin begged me to get some rest, but I protested as it wasn't very late yet and I still had too much turbulence in my mind to allow for sleep. Reluctantly, he agreed to start a movie with me.
Only halfway through the live-action Beauty and the Beast, Jimin's phone rang.
As I quickly pressed pause on my laptop that Jimin had resting on his thighs, he answered the call.
"Hey... What? Again?..." Jimin sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, "Are you sure you can't handle it on your own?... Alright, alright. I'll be there soon."
With a quirked brow, I asked, "Who was that? Where are you going?"
He groaned in response, closing the laptop and shifting out from under the blankets. "We are going back to my dorm. It was Jungkook. He needs my help."
"Help with what? Can't he figure it out on his own?" I frowned, hating the prospect of not only walking through campus in the middle of the night but also seeing Jungkook again so soon. It wasn't that I disliked Jungkook, but I still had yet to determine what to really thought about him. All I knew was that being around him kept me alert like certain nerves in me awoke in his presence.
"I asked him that, but... It's complicated. I'm the only one who can handle it," Jimin answered as he slung his backpack over his shoulder. He then turned to me with a sympathetic expression on his face. "Look, I honestly don't know how long this might take. I won't force you to go with me since it's starting to get late, but I can't promise that I'll make it back before you fall asleep."
"No, no, I'll go with you. I'm not tired yet anyway," I lied for the second time. The truth was that I was exhausted. Dancing for Hoseok was tiring on its own, but along with the stress of this mysterious writer and the nightmare I had, I was beginning to feel like my head was barely above water. I wondered how much wilder the storm would grow, how much stronger the tides would surge.
The lies were founded on not wanting to be left alone, not wanting to be visited in my dreams again. I despised how fearful I had become. I was being driven to the edge of paranoia, and I felt like I was losing myself to it. The courageous, friendly person I used to be had been replaced with this anxious, untrusting girl. Fear was a mighty foe, and it was one that had the power to beat a person down until they no longer recognized their own self.
I only hoped I could find myself again once this was all over.
~
The first thing I noticed as we turned the corner onto their hall was that their door was left open. Jimin and I exchanged glances before quickly reaching the doorway. Inside, Jungkook stood with his arms crossed as he spoke to a brunette girl.
The moment we arrived, the two fell silent and both turned to look at us. Jungkook seemed relieved, even elated when he caught sight of us. The female, however, only looked happy when her eyes briefly took in Jimin, but the second she noticed me, all that joy warped into irritation.
"Finally," Jungkook mumbled before sending Jimin a look.
Jimin cleared his throat. "Hey, Hana. Jungkook said you were looking for me?"
A broad smile adorned her face as she stepped towards him. "Yes. I just missed you a lot and I really needed to see you," she said in a nauseatingly innocent tone, "I told him I wouldn't leave until you got back."
Jimin forced an awkward laugh. "How uh... nice of you. You know, it's getting pretty late and I don't think-"
The girl hooked her arm onto Jimin's, effectively halting his protest.
"Don't worry, I won't take long. I just really want to talk to you. Why don't you walk me back to my dorm?" Her words were disguised as a suggestion, but they held the weight of demand.
After looking between Jungkook and me helplessly, finding that neither of us had a solution, Jimin resigned. "Alright, sure," he said with a tight-lipped smile.
As she began pulling him out to the hall, Jimin cast a glare towards Jungkook, to which Jungkook shrugged and mouthed, 'I owe you'.
"Luckily my dorm is all the way at the other end of the campus, so we have plenty of time to talk. By the way, who was that girl with you?" The voice that reminded me of overly sweet frosting - the kind that even the most sugar-loving child would avoid eating - could be heard as they rounded the corner and walked out of sight.
I sent up a silent prayer for the poor soul of my best friend.
"What was that all about?" I asked as Jungkook's eyes met mine.
He shook his head. "Hana, she's in me and Jimin's year. She met us last semester in one of our classes and she got this huge crush on Jimin. I thought we'd be able to avoid her this year, but she found out our room number somehow. She refused to leave until I called Jimin to get him over here."
"I see," I replied, beginning to feel self-conscious under his gaze.
"Why don't you come in," he offered, moving to open the door farther. "We can hang out until Jimin gets back."
Despite the warning bells that echoed in my ears and reverberated down my spine, I walked into the room.
Was it stupid? Perhaps. But I needed to actively fight against the fear that had taken me prisoner lately. How would I ever make progress in discovering the writer if I never took a single step forward? It was another opportunity to do some digging. Besides, Jimin seemed to trust Jungkook.
"Do you want something to drink?" he asked after closing the door behind me.
"Water's good," I answered.
As Jungkook went to the miniature fridge in the corner of the room, I turned towards Jimin's bed, ready to sit - only I couldn't. The slob had left so much junk on his mattress that there wasn't a single feasible area for me to sit. With a once-over of the rest of his corner of the space, I realized he didn't even have a desk on which I could sit, either.
"Here," Jungkook's smooth voice was suddenly right beside me. He held out one of the two bottles of water he'd grabbed. As I took it from him, a small smile tugged on the corners of his lips, accompanied by a short chuckle. "We can sit on the floor if you don't mind. Your BFF is a bit lacking in his tidying skills."
"Yeah," a laugh escaped me as I mirrored his actions, sitting down on the floor at the foot of Jimin's bed. Jungkook sat at the foot of his own, directly across from me. "He's always been like that."
"Like what? A pig?" His smile widened into a grin, pearly teeth on display. I'd seen his smile before, I just hadn't taken note of how absurdly attractive it was until that moment.
I snickered, "When it comes to his room, yes. Oh, and eating. He will eat whatever you put in front of him."
"Yeah, it didn't take very long to figure that out about him," Jungkook said lightheartedly, taking a swig of water.
"So are you guys pretty close?" I asked.
Jungkook paused for a second, then replied, "Yeah. Maybe not super close like you two are, but I'd say we're good friends."
I hummed, satisfied that he seemed to think of Jimin in a good light.
As the room fell into a quiet pause, I let my eyes roam over his side of the dorm. I'd already seen it just a few hours prior, and there was still hardly a thing out of place. The only variance was that the sheets of his navy bed had been pulled down and rustled.
When my gaze dropped back to Jungkook's face, my heart jolted as I found his orbs still fixed on me.
"You're really beautiful, you know." The seriousness in his voice was out of character, and it only elevated the effect his comment had on me.
"I- what?" I stammered, feeling blood warm the skin of my cheeks.
"Didn't mean to fluster you, Red," he laughed, only for his smile to slowly fall as he grew sober again. His irises seemed to deepen like pools of chocolate melting right before my eyes. "But you really are. Beautiful, I mean."
"You do seem rather obsessed with my hair," I said jokingly, unsure how to accept the compliment properly. "First you compare it to a rose, then you start giving me nicknames based on the color."
That grin of his returned, along with a shrug. "I just love the color."
"You really aren't afraid to speak your mind, are you?"
With a slight tilt of his head, he asked, "Should I be?"
I pursed my lips, pondering. "I suppose not. Too many of us do."
"Well then, sticking with my habit, I'd like to ask you something," Jungkook said, the confidence in his tone dwindling the faintest bit at the end.
"What?" I stared at him carefully.
"Remember the sketchbook you saw earlier?"
I nodded in response, waiting for him to continue, but he let the silence linger.
"Ah, nevermind. Forget I said anything," he chuckled, lowering his gaze to his lap.
Was he... embarrassed?
"Do you... want to draw me?" I guessed hesitantly.
If you're wrong you're going to look like the most conceded-
"Yeah, I do. But I know that's weird to ask, so don't worry about it."
I recalled the beautiful wolf done by his own hands, then the way he'd snatched the sketchbook out of my hands when I had tried to look at the next pages. If he was hiding something, maybe I'd get a second chance at seeing what else was in the book if he pulled it out again.
"It's okay. You can sketch me."
Jungkook lifted his head, eyes wide. "Really? You sure?"
I nodded, "Just a quick one though. I don't want to be sitting here for hours."
He let out a breath of amusement. "Don't worry, I won't take long." Then he quickly hopped up, went over to his dresser and pulled the sketchbook and a pencil out of the top drawer, then returned to his spot in front of me.
"Don't worry about staying too still. It's not a big deal if you want to talk or anything," he assured.
"Okay," I replied, trying to brush aside the nerves that sprawled over me.
"Do you think you could rest your chin in your hand? Only if it's comfortable."
I did as he suggested, propping my elbow on my knee and bringing my hand up to place my chin in my palm, fingers resting along my cheek.
"Good, that's perfect," Jungkook praised, peering up at me through strands of his raven hair.
I watched the sketchbook attentively as he opened it up, flipping through a few pages until he reached a blank paper. I bit my lip in disappointment. Not a single sketch was visible as he skipped past them. The only sure thing from the brief flashes of lead was that there were at least four or five other sketches that came after the wolf.
Jungkook worked at lightning speed. I had never seen someone sketch so swiftly and yet so accurately. Though the portrait was upside down in my view, I was able to see every stroke made by his careful hands. The pencil was like an extension of his own body, smoothly etching every line and detail onto the paper. I hated to admit it, but I fell into a trance as I observed the effortless movements of his far-too-attractive hand.
My eyes had a mind of their own, climbing slowly, sneaking from his fingers, over the tops of his hands, up his forearm, lingering too long on his biceps which pulled taut depending on which shape he drew. My eyes found their way across the white tee he wore to the edge of his collar bone, along the length of his neck, finally reaching his lips-
"Done."
His announcement shook me from my concerning daze.
How creepy can you be, Jangmi? What's with the drool sesh?
Jungkook flipped the book around and held it up for me to see. My mouth nearly fell open from the sight.
The sketch was simple, with soft lines rather than clean, dark ones. Still, he managed to capture every detail, including the reflection in my eyes, the exact shape of my lips, the shading of my undoubtedly pink cheeks, and the hand that rested on one of them. Even a stray hair was drawn over my right eye.
Something about the drawing tugged at my heartstrings. Maybe it was the way he'd been so careful to replicate what he saw in person, sketching me in such a soft but precise manner. Or perhaps it was the way the girl on the paper looked more beautiful than I'd ever thought the girl I saw in the mirror to be. Whatever it was, it sent my heart beating just a tad bit faster, and that realization bothered me.
"It's amazing," I said, finding his gaze.
He gave me yet another smile, one side of his mouth lifting higher than the other. Nearly a smirk, but more genuine. "I'm glad you think so."
Before either of us could say more, a knock sounded at the door.
Jungkook got up, tossing the sketchbook onto his bed before he walked over and reached for the knob.
"Hey, I need to-"
He froze the same instant that I did. Our eyes latched on to each other as they always seemed to do. Shock was swirling alongside a sort of annoyance in his gaze. I wondered if he was frowning beneath the mask.
Jungkook glanced back at me quickly before returning his attention to Hoseok. "Let's talk outside."
Then the door shut and I was left alone.
I wasted one second wondering why Hoseok was there, why he was visiting Jungkook so late in the evening. Then I decided I would devote time to that question later. My few moments of solitude would be best spent searching through the sketchbook.
Scrambling to my feet, I quickly moved over to Jungkook's bed and grabbed the spiral-bound book, opening it to the first page. The same obsidian wolf stared back at me, but I urgently flipped to the next page, only to find a sketch of a tiger.
He wasn't lying, he really does like drawing animals.
As I turned to the next page, my anticipation dulled even further. It was just a sketch of a vase of flowers, like one of those typical exercises from every art class.
The next drawing was also seemingly normal. It was an incomplete eclipse, a sketch of a blue moon attempting to cover an orange sun, only flames were bursting from the sun and encapsulating the moon.
With a conflicting sense of relief and disappointment, I flipped one last page - the one before the portrait he'd just drawn of me.
The drawing felt different than the others. I couldn't put my finger on what made it stand out, but it did.
It was simple. A young boy stood with only his back on display, facing a young girl who was staring at him. Her features were vague, with long flowing hair and rounded eyes. She wore a little dress, but the focal point of the sketch was the rose that the boy held out to her. While the entire drawing was done in grey pencil, only the petals of the rose were painted a vibrant red.
The knob suddenly turned and I promptly shut the book, setting it on the sheets before I dove across the room, returning to my spot on the floor.
Jungkook walked in first, glancing at me with a serious expression. Then Hoseok followed, stepping just under the doorway, where he then shoved his hands into his pockets. He caught my stare and held it, not allowing me to look away.
"Jangmi, may I speak with you?"
• • •
A/N:
Hey guys! got this out a tad bit later than I hoped (like always) but I hope it was worth the wait! This is supposedly the longest chapter I've written thus far, though to me it feels really short.
I wanted to ask what you think of Jungkook, since so many of you are giving me mixed feedback on him. Do you like his character? Does he confuse you or make you suspicious? Or do you think he just likes teasing Jangmi?
Who's excited to find out what Hoseok has to say to Jangmi? I know you've been missing him. I realize this book hasn't had a ton of interactions between the two main characters so far, but they'll start spending more time together soon. Things will be picking up and I can't wait for their relationship to really get going!
Any new clues you found in this chapter?
Wishing you all a great and healthy week.
-Hoseokiiss (Kat) <3
June 9, 2020