Taehyung thought he could be as calm as the sea but when the salt water went inside his mouth and he sensed it on his taste buds he knew a storm was raging in the sea of him.
"Out of all the stupid things-" was what Jin had said.
Taehyung knew he was stupid, plain stupid and pathetic. Simply put, he was just that, not a weirdo but that.
"Hey stupid alien!" when in elementary his classmates would bump a fist on his head and call him that he'd give them a bright grin. That's how he was.
The thoughts circled around his head and he felt himself drawing out exactly that on a paper lying before him, circling his drawing pencil round and round and creating a bizarre set of scribbles.
"I think Jin hyung overreacted a bit," a voice from the back hushed into the mellow of Taehyung's room where sunlight after a long and tiring downpour seeped through the indigo curtains.
Jimin's voice serenaded into his mind and he closed his eyes a bit before letting out a shaky exhale. "Isn’t he always like that? I have had some fights with him before and-"
And I know he'll come around, would he really? Taehyung could not finish his sentence and much to his dismay his already deep voice sounded like a hoarse outcry of help.
From the chair with his back facing Jimin he could feel the latter shift a little on Taehyung's bed. "I am not trying to judge but I think Jin hyung might have OCD or something, and that's completely okay too."
"Or maybe he's just a clean freak, a bit meticulous that's it. You don't have to calm me down," Taehyung spun on his seat until his leg caught up with the legs of the chair and only his upper body could shift. "I'm alright," he stared into Jimin's eyes.
There were no signs of tear, Taehyung knew. That was only one drop after all, he thought. Yet his eyes burned as if they'd let out the rain he was holding in like the sky from before.
Jimin searched his face with his own worried ones before looking down on his feet. "It's okay to cry you know. You’ve seen me at my worst state too. Some guys believe it's unmanly to cry and I surely hope you don't like to think that way."
Taehyung saw how Jimin continuously scratched on a lose strand of cotton on Taehyung's spaceship bed sheet with his index finger. Was he nervous?
The blue haired wondered if Jimin wasn’t really good at comforting people since he clearly looked like he was in discomfort. Yet his soft words could bring serenity to Taehyung, Jimin just didn’t know.
"I cry a lot by myself, you know. Every time I feel hurt. Think about home- what was once called home. Think about mom and dad," Jimin never looked up but continued. "Crying can ease someone. And if you want I'll leave you be."
Out of all the things, Taehyung would've never thought he'd once really admit that he hated being alone. Because he really did not want to busk in his sorrow alone now.
"I'm not rich. I started working that part time because I was short on spending money, again. All the kids from my major are rich and have a different life style. At least I make most of my own outfits, but I'd need some for the materials too."
Here that jibber jabber starting again, as Jimin finally looked up with his eyes widening Taehyung looked down. His voice holding a slight tremor in it yet he tried to execute his thoughts into words thoroughly.
"I am a country pumpkin, I'm not rich, I don't really have friends and I do a lot of weird, crazy things. Sometimes I just get fed up with myself, like, if I could stop being myself I think I would."
Taehyung felt his jaw clench, his breathing rapid and haphazard but Jimin's voice again lulled into the warm glow of the afternoon. "I have a hard time talking to people, I have a lot in my mind but can hardly let it out. At times I'd have an outburst not being able to keep it in anymore. I'm poor and from the countryside too. Most of the time in my life I think I'd hated myself."
There was a short pause before Jimin spoke again. "But hey, you're still you. And I'm still me. And our crazy, weird sides makes us special, maybe. That's what my dad used to tell me."
Taehyung felt the tremor inside him halt, there was an insecurity in Jimin's voice. He could tell the shorter hardly believed he was special too, but hearing it from someone that Taehyung reckoned was a lot like him felt comforting.
"The outfits you make are amazing by the way, I really thought you were a seoulite."
"As if," Tehyung couldn't but let out a soft snicker. "Most of my shirts, jeans and jackets are from thrift stores. I cut them around, paint and sew down materials to make them look trendy. Though there are some I'd made from the scratch."
Jimin brought his hand together in excitement before his small eyes wandered around the room for a bit. "You have a sewing machine too. You know that brown leather jacket of yours-" his eyes then fell onto Taehyung. "The one you often wear, that one looks the most expensive."
"Does it?" Taehyung could feel himself smile faintly before he uttered. "That one is expensive. My grandparents saved for a year to buy me that as a gift for transferring to a high school in Seoul."
He remembered how it was his first time leaving the village to settle down in the big city, alone. He thought he ought to be terrified, but he wasn't really. He just knew he'd miss home.
When he wore that jacket the very first day at school none of the students realized he was from the countryside, not even the slight satoori tone in his accent gave that away.
Kids wanted to be his friend, they did not know he was a misfit, an outcast.
And Taehyung thought, hey, this wasn’t so bad. He was seventeen, going on eighteen and he oddly craved to be accepted unlike his preteen days.
Was that the start of it all? He felt his eyebrows furrow as he searched for an answer.
"Anyway," trying to push the thought away he picked up a notebook and held it towards Jimin. "I make my own, kinda designs."
When Jimin took it and started going through the pages filled with his drawings, Taehyung felt his heart thumping loudly inside his chests. Would Jimin call them weird like his friends?
"This is fascinating," Jimin had his fervent eyes raking down the pages with a bright smile on his face, Taehyung let out a breath of relief.
"I especially like this one," Jimin held out one. "It's kind of like a character on itself, an alien but somehow looks like you!"
Taehyung felt his muscles tense again as he looked at the creature he had drawn at the bottom of the page, when had he drawn tata there?
Tata, that was the aliens name. He made up this as a friend of his when he was kid. The alien had a big heart shaped head, a bit distorted in the side with blank eyes and protruding set of lips (which Taehyung liked to think was detachable from its face)
"Enough of your little fingers on my design book," Taehyung snatched it away from Jimin and the latter gave him a surprised look before frowning.
"You just did not call me little fingers," Jimin grumbled beneath his breath and Taehyung almost got flashbacks of his explosion from the other night.
Despite thinking of the horror Taehyung stuck his tongue out to him. "You called me an alien first!"
"What's wrong with alien? Why do you have to rub on my height every time?" Jimin crossed his arms over his chest and growled.
"When did I? And alien is worse!"
"No, how's it worse?"
"You wouldn’t know, lil finger," Taehyung mocked before turning away.
"Alien," Jimin taunted.
"Yeah, if I am an alien you admit that you're a lil finger too," when Taehyung said Jimin straight up stood from the bed and started walking away.
"Hey, wait," the blue haired boy laughed before he got up too and followed the shorter.
At least for that fleeting moment, Taehyung did not feel so alone after a very long time.
---
A/n: can you guess whose part of story will begin next?
Is the angst hitting you right? If it isn’t enough, don't worry more are coming.
I'm a sadist, baby.