Tom felt relaxed. He's enjoying his little 'me day'. He thought life was amazing! This morning, he decided to treat himself for breakfast after talking Tessa out for a walk. Then when he got home, he had a nice shower. After that, he binged watched on Netflix and he absolutely loved it.
For lunch, he ordered himself a big box of pizza and he drank beer with it. He continued watching until he realized it was dinner time. He cooked himself some pasta (which was from Sam's food blog on Instagram) and ate as he, yes, watched again on Netflix whilst answering text messages from Harrison.
At 9 PM, he decided to call it a night even though he wouldn't do anything work related the next day. He was cleaning up after himself when his doorbell rang. He found it rather odd to have a visitor at this hour, unless he had a party. He thought that maybe it was Harry or Harrison. He was surprised to see Y/N standing there, crying.
"Hi." Tom says in shock. "Uh, come in." Y/N gives him a small smile as she wipes her tears upon entering his humble abode. Tom closes the door and locks it before turning to Y/N, "I was just cleaning up, but we can stay here. I can reheat the pizza I ordered. I still have some leftovers." He suggests.
"Maybe later." she answers before crying again, "I just really need you right now." Tom's heart breaks and immediately pulls her in for a hug. She buries her face on his chest as she sobs violently. He hugs her tightly and kisses the top of her head and whispers sweet nothings to her. After a while, she stops crying and pulls away from him. Tom wipes away her tears and leads her to the living room. He hands her the blanket he was wrapping himself with previously and she gladly takes it.
He knew she loved his scent. It gave her a sense of familiarity when everything else seemed different. At first he thought it was weird, but he learned to accept it over time. That's why it extremely worried him when Y/N chose to let him go too.
He walks to the kitchen to get her a glass of water and as soon as he did, he places it on the coffee table in front of her. They sit in silence for a while and they just stare at the fire place that wasn't even lit.
"Harrison came over this afternoon while I was studying." Y/N starts, breaking the silence between her and Tom. He nods for her continue despite already knowing. Harrison told Tom about his plans yesterday. He was just wondering what happened.
"He was really sweet, you know? He practically renovated my whole apartment at this point and he paid my rent and honestly, we're going to be here all night if I list down everything he's done. He even helped me study today." she smiles at the moment they shared. Tom smiles at her, "Then?"
"Then I asked why he's doing all of those things; what his goal is." she bites her lip. "He said he wanted me back."
"Do you want him back?" Tom asks seriously. She sighs and shakes her head, "I don't know. I honestly don't know. I'm just scared. Why am I so scared, Tom?" she tears up again.
It's Tom's turn to sigh, "Y/N, darling, you're scared because you might go through that shit again. But that's the thing with love; it's scary. I don't blame you for it. Harrison doesn't blame you for it either. However, along with 'scary', comes 'beautiful'."
"Love is beautiful, Y/N. The first step in anything in life is scary, but when you go through with it, it turns into something beautiful whether you see it or not. That's the same thing with love." Tom lightly chuckles.
"Remember all those guys I scared away for you before, because you said you didn't want to date any of them? I thought it was just you being scared of love but then I realized that you're actually content with yourself and I thought it was beautiful. And it still is, darling. It still is."
"When Harrison started courting you before, I knew you were scared because you're my best friend and I felt it. No one had ever done that for you and Harrison was scared too, did you know that?" he asks. Y/N looks at him with wide eyes, "He was?"
Tom nods, "He was. He was scared that he might be courting you the wrong way, because he hasn't courted anyone before. You were his breath of fresh air in the dating world. Both of you were scared, but you got a relationship out of it and wasn't it beautiful?"
"I-I guess it was."
"Then Harrison decided to act stupid and we all know what happened." he jokes, causing Y/N to break into a fit of giggles.
"Now, you're just scared about this whole thing because he's done it before; the courting thing. It's your subconscious telling you 'here we go again'." Tom faces her and asks again, "Do you want him back?" Y/N just shrugs, "I really don't know."
"Do you love him enough to want him back?"
This time, she stays quiet. Tom nods, "I'll give you some time to think about it. I'll get us some wine and I'll reheat the pizza for you." He stands up and Y/N just sits there thinking to herself.
Did she love him enough to want him back? She's too distracted in her own thoughts when Tom came back. How he carried everything, Y/N didn't know. Tom sets down the pizza and the glasses. He pours wine on both before sitting down and putting the bottle of wine next to his glass, "So? Do you love him enough to want him back?"
"...I'm in love with him, Tom." she tears up. "I never fell out of love with him."
"Then, there you go." Tom grabs his glass and takes a sip of wine. "Tell him."
"You-You think I should?" she asks warily before sipping her wine.
"Of course! Why not? You've got nothing to lose, love." Tom smiles brightly, "Being together is what makes both of you happy and I want that for both of you! You guys are my best friends."
Y/N smiles at him and says nothing. They sit together in comfortable silence as they drink their wine and eat their pizza. They begin to feel a bit tipsy.
"Tom, I have a question."
"Shoot."
"You've been my best friend for sooooooo long-"
"Mhm."
"-did you ever have feelings for me before?" Y/N has thought of that years before, but she never got to ask. She never got the courage to and now that her confidence is boosted with wine and she's a bit tipsy, she figured it'd be the perfect time to ask.
Tom stares at her, "Honestly?"
"Honestly."
"Yeah, I had feelings for you." Tom smiles to himself as he looks at the ground. "I had this huge crush on you for years before. It was actually insane. It was part of the reason why I get protective when guys throw themselves at you. Mum thought I would ask you out, but I obviously didn't."
"Why didn't you?" she asks with a small frown.
"Because there's something between us and it's the most beautiful thing I have ever felt. The connection that you and I have is something so beyond that I can't even describe it. But I know it's great." Tom answers as he looks at her, "I didn't want to risk losing that. I wouldn't know how to handle it."
"Why are you telling me all of this now?"
"Because you brought it up." Tom chuckles. "I moved on, though. Don't let this new information mess you up."
Y/N nods, "Well, I love you a lot. I appreciate you a lot too."
"And I, with you." Tom smiles.
"You know, I'm really jealous of you sometimes." Y/N confesses. This whole liquid courage thing is eating her up.
"Oh? How come?" Tom is surprised. He never knew his best friend was jealous of him.
"Don't get me wrong; I'm really proud of your achievements." she starts, "I'm just jealous, because at a young age, you got to achieve them." She looks at him as she starts to cry once more, "You were on Billy Elliot, The Impossible, and all those other stuff that you did while I was still struggling at school. Then when I was in university, you were out traveling the world and meeting new people while I was left behind."
Tom frowns. He never knew she felt that way.
"I'm so proud of you, but the truth is that sometimes I get really jealous and think, 'damn he's so much better than me at life itself. He's fucking winning!'." she wipes her tears away. "I could've been a lawyer by now, but I decided to do something stupid and now I'm late. All my friends are working at law firms now and I'm still living in a shit hole working as a real estate agent which isn't even connected to what I really want to do."
"It's never too late to achieve something, darling and if it makes you feel better, I'm jealous of you too." Tom tells her. She scoffs, "Me? You're jealous of me? You're a movie star and I'm just your average everyday girl. What could you possibly be jealous of me for?"
Tom inwardly cringes at the words 'movie star', but he lets it slide. He answers her question, "I'm jealous of you, because you have someone who loves you."
"I love y-"
"You know what I mean, Y/N/N." Tom chuckles. "You have Harrison and I have no one."
"You have your awards and money and fame. Seriously, the list goes on!" she exclaims.
"Yes but my awards, fame, and money can't hold me when I need it most now, can it?" Tom says softly which makes Y/N frown. "You have Harrison to hold you and care for you and love you. You have him when I'm not around. And me? Who do I have? My family is a different type of love and you too."
"Who will I turn to when you're not around? My awards? My fame- which is impossible, by the way, because it's not tangible. What else? Ah, my money?" Tom bitterly says. "Those things can't give me comfort when I need it most. Those things can't shower me with love when I'm at my lowest. It's not the same. You may think I have it all, but I don't."
"So we're jealous of each other, huh?" Y/N giggles softly.
Tom smiles and shakes his head, "I guess the grass is always greener on the other side. It just depends on where you're looking from."
"Huh," Tom's words start to sink in her mind, "I guess so."
* * * *
I really love this chapter <3