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*** WARNING! ***
--- THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS DOMESTIC AND TEEN VIOLENCE IF SUCH STORIES TRIGGER YOU SKIP THIS CHAPTER WHERE INDICATED. ---
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He heard the door shut behind him.
She doesn't suspect a thing.
His mouth twisted into a wry smile.
He walked along the path back to the village.
He could feel her eyes on him.
Perfect. It's starting sooner than I'd hoped.
He remembered her. Every memory, smell, taste, touch, sound, and sight. The way her hair always smelled of the summer breeze. How she had tasted like the sweetest berries and cream. When she had brushed her hands alongside his, and how she had felt beneath him.
He recalled her sighs and screams. Even how she looked so frightened when -
He shook his head and continued walking, his smile turning into a disappointed frown. The pleasant and unpleasant thoughts melding together in his memory.
How could she just walk away from all of us like that? It wasn't right. It wasn't natural. She doesn't get to choose. I will for her.
He got lost in his thoughts as he journeyed back to the village. It took quite a few days to travel back. To the small little community found deep within the forest.
Benjamin and Alysa had grown up together. They had been best friends, they had gotten even closer; but that all changed the day she left. When Alysa had been given a choice - and she chose to leave.
While she knew her story where she left alone, without any support.
What she didn't know was Ben had been restrained. His family made him stay.
He had reached for her, a hopeless look in his eyes. How he had wanted to run after her.
"Alysa! Don't go!" He had cried. To this day he never knew - she hadn't heard him.
If I didn't get a choice back then, she shouldn't either.
He continued to brew and stir wondering what his father would say. His head jerked up and his eyes widened in fear, what would the rest of the village say?
He shook those concerns away and relaxed his shoulders.
No, those are her problems now. She must face the consequences for leaving. She must- she must pay. She couldn't leave like that - we needed her and where was she?
He scoffed to himself. Off prancing in the forest no doubt, I'm surprised she found her way to Zil at all, let alone the only reasonable family there.
His thoughts strayed to Jared. And the lost look in her eyes, but how she had glanced longingly at him. At Jared, not himself.
It hadn't been until he raised his voice that he had felt her cold eyes glaring into him.
He didn't understand her emotions. How could she blame him? She couldn't - after all this was all her fault wasn't it? If she would've just stayed, shut up, and dealt with it like the rest of them.
But no, she just had to go and pick magic over us didn't she?
He thought to himself as he kicked stray pebbles into the bushes along the side of the road.
When I bring her back everything will be right again. We can go back to the way things were. We - we can just pick up where we left off.
He smiled in a childlike manner happily walking along the stone paved path now.
I bet they'll all be so happy! When I bring Al home. Her family, the elders, my -
He gulped, momentarily freezing in his steps. His father had never approved of him and Al. His family had been thrilled when she chose to leave. His family had celebrated, but not him.
Not only had they kept him from joining her in exile from the village. They had taken away his hope, the one person who understood what he was going through. Al wasn't the only person with magic, most people in the community had it. But no one used it. And if they did they didn't use it in daily practice. Al had wanted to, they had planned to change the village and the world together.
But everything changed that day.
He shut his eyes tight, he didn't want to remember.
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*** Skip here if you are triggered my mentions of domestic violence ***
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"Why? Al?"
"Why can't you just wait?!"
He remembers questioning her.
"You don't understand." She shook her head pacing his room.
The only place we ever had privacy.
"I have waited, I've watched as this town tears itself apart. All because they can't accept the truth! It's infuriating Ben!" She threw her arms around in frustration.
"I don't want to lose you" Ben rose, making his way to her.
"You can come with me!" She jumped into his arms, hugging him close.
"What?!" He pushed her back, stepping away.
"Join me!" She pressed herself to him again, putting her hands on his chest.
"You know what will happen if I continue with this." It was her turn to step back, resuming her pacing. She spoke sullenly.
"And I can't - I can't hide anymore." She hugged her arms close to herself.
"You really think my family will let me? My father?!" He recalls rubbing his hands through his hair frantically.
"So?" She had questioned. How could such a simple word imply entire worlds of problems and rebellion.
"What about him?" She persisted.
She always persisted.
"You don't think I care about my family too? My sister? My little brother?" He remembered her volume growing with anger.
"I'll be leaving them as well. I don't want to have to leave you." This time she frowned, walking gingerly back over to him. "I can't -" Her voice now a faint sigh.
He remembers cutting her off, "Then don't! Stay. Why can't you just stay?" He asked in her ear as she wrapped her arms around his waist.
"I can't." She whispered meekly back.
Why was she so stubborn?
"We can get through it together. Stay." His tone grew harsher.
"No." She began to draw away from him.
He remembers the feeling, thinking both then and now, I can't lose her.
She can't leave me.
"I'll make you!" Growing angrier he grabbed her arms keeping her close to him.
"No, Ben." She said, struggling to get away from him.
He grabbed her and pushed her to the floor. His weight and strength overpowering her despite her attempts to get away.
"Ben! Stop it, you're hurting me." He held her arms above her head, his knees caging her down. He remembers how her body began to shake, how her arms trembled against his
"Not until you promise." He pushed harder, emphasizing through physical pressure, "You have to stay." He said applying more pressure with each word.
"I can't. I won't." She said coldly. He remembers the detached look she gave him.
He grumbled in anger, letting go of her hands to place one of his around her throat and to use the other to rub the temples of his head.
"Be-" She began to call out his name in protest. Her own hands reaching around his but her attempts to pull his hands from her throat were useless.
"Shut up!" He retorted, increasing the pressure. "I need to think." He muttered.
"Be-be-Ben." She stuttered as his hand grew tighter. Unconsciously he had begun to choke her.
"I ca-can't. B-breathe!" She gasped out.
"Would ya shut up for a sec?!" He shouted in her face, tightening his hand.
He ignored the fear in her eyes, and the way her mouth was gasping for breath.
Her face grew red and it wasn't until she had passed out that Ben had realized what he had done.
Her fearful eyes now closed as if she was merely sleeping. Her bruised throat suggested otherwise.
The scene replayed again and again in his mind as he picked her up.
He carried her gently to the chair in his room.
He got a cup of water.
In her favorite glass.
He covered her in a blanket.
The one we always shared.
Then she woke up.
The red hand prints still around her throat, now turning different shades of blue, purple, and even black.
"Al- Al I'm sorry." He remembers saying quietly.
She was silent as she accepted the water he offered her.
After a few minutes of silence he broke. "What do you want me to say huh?!" He turned away as he grew nervous.
"You - you can't just leave! The village needs you, your family needs you, I need you!" He rambled exasperated.
"What do you think will happen huh?" He remembers pressing, trying to get her to see reason.
She never saw reason.
"You'll just walk away from all of this? The spirits won't allow it. They ... what if they make the village pay? Make us pay for you leaving?!" He spoke his thoughts frantically.
"What then? You wouldn't want us to suffer would you?!"
She must feel guilty.
"No. No, you wouldn't." He remembers walking back over to her.
"So just stay." He crouched down.
He put his hand on her knee.
Only I know how to comfort her.
"Please ... I can't lose you."
She'll see, she'll come back to me.
He remembers how she rose, her stance rigid.
"I'm - sor-" She had started.
Then their eyes met, his with sadness, confusion, distraught, anger, frustration, emotions he couldn't even name.
Hers held all the emotions his did, but included fear; and the way she looked at him, he could see the war waging within her mind.
Yes or no. It's stay or go.
"I'm not sorry." She said blatantly, masking all her emotions behind a wall. He couldn't see her anymore.
"I've made my decision. And you've already heard what I have to say. It's up to you whether you listen or not."
She never listens.
"Goodbye Ben."
And she had walked away.
She always walks away.
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I'll get her back. I have to get her back.
He continued to reminisce as he started the first day of his journey back.
Back home.