A/N: Hope you's enjoy, remember to vote and comment!
I was wrapped up in Jackson's arms as he slept, he kept stirring and I thought he was waking up, but nope. He kept falling back asleep, and honestly it was so boring.
As beautiful as this boy is, it's boring watching him sleep.
There's nothing romantic about watching someone sleep, I mean yeah ok, I couldn't help but appreciate his face and his bone structure and the way his eyelashes fanned out across his cheeks, but I was bored, there was nothing to do.
He starts to pull me closer to him and I smile knowing he's waking up.
Thank the lord, I was honestly considering waking him up. And that was just rude.
"You're staring." Jackson mumbles, his eyes fluttering open and I hold back a grin.
"You've been asleep for so so long." I say and he pulls me closer to him and I love how there's no hesitation now.
"What time is it?"
"It's ten, do you remember me messaging my parents? Because apparently I did." I whisper and a half smile forms on his face.
Jackson head falls and I feel his lips against my skin. He nuzzles into the side of my neck placing a soft kiss on my jaw and I cant help but sigh into him.
"You messaged them in the car." He mumbles.
"Oh okay."
"You cant remember?"
"I can now."
"It's always the best thing, waking up to you." He says and I pull his chin up briefest shortest kiss. Despite morning breath, despite everything.
"I like it too." I whisper against his lips and he pulls away, starting to sit up more in bed. He was only in some underwear and I just had his top on covering my body.
"What I said last night, about us just letting this happen, and not thinking too much about it..." Jackson starts, and I go to pull away totally, thinking he was taking back his words.
"Yeah?" My voice is small.
"I meant it. But I didn't consider how that might not be what you want. So there is no pressure here Ives."
Oh. Phew.
"That's what I want too."
"It is?"
"Yeah I promise." I lean up and tap his chin so it points down to me and he smiles against my lips.
It was supposed to be a short, reassuring, 'I want you' kiss but Jackson starts to move his lips slowly against mine and I don't pull away.
Well not until I hear three knocks on his bedroom door.
I pull away and look at him wide eyed.
In what seems like slow motion my eyes take in out appearances.
I was a mess, my hair most definitely did not read an innocent night of cuddling. And well, Jackson literally didn't have any clothes on, the hicky I gave him last night was much more prominent than any other one we've left before.
Because I was trying to keep quiet, remember?
"Jackson hon, you awake?" Charlotte's voice comes from the other side of the room and I panic. I pull the covers up over my head and hide away from a laughing Jackson and a very soon to be in the room Charlotte.
"I'm coming in." She announces and I hear the door crack open.
"Oh. Where is she?" Charlotte say and I freeze.
Oh crap she knew I was here.
"She's hiding." Jackson chuckles and he moves the covers from over my head. Being careful not to remove a lot of covers, just so my head was exposed.
I sit up a little and my blush reddens, I can literally feel it. She looks at me with a raised eyebrow and she looks so amused that my face grows impossibly hotter.
"You knew I was here?"
"Well, I mean, your shoes and your bag are downstairs." She says and I just nod and look at Jackson in awkwardness.
He doesn't look like he's having a blast but his amusement is trained directly on me.
Jackson openly tries to fix my hair a little and turns back to his mum. "What's up mum?"
"The kids have a half day at school today, we're gunna pick them up at like half eleven and grab some lunch. Was just wondering if you both wanted to come? Was thinking a picnic, usual place?"
Jacksons eyes turn to mine in question and I just give him a little smile.
Food is good with me. I like his mum and dad, and I love his siblings.
"Sure." He tells his mum and then I think he realises that I needed to do things like get changed and shower. "We'll meet you there. We need to get ready and stuff."
There's a lot of "we" here. I don't mind it. At all.
"Okay, I'll let yous get decent." She sends me a grin and I raise a hand to my cheeks; gosh I was going to melt.
"I'll see you both in like an hour?" She asks and we both nod as she leaves us alone in the bedroom.
"Oh god." I mumble looking up at Jackson's amused face.
"Do you recon she caught on to something?" He says sarcastically, his voice filled with amusement at me.
I give him a heavily embarrassed look and groan, lying back down covering my face with my hands.
"You are fucking adorable." Jackson says, trying to pry my hands away from my face.
"Why am I the only one embarrassed? Your mum just saw the marks I've left on you." I say, voice muffled, and he laughs moving so his body was pretty much laid on top of me.
"And now you're trying to suffocate me, great." I mumble and he pulls my hands away from my face, affectively pinning them above me.
"I can always make a mark on you too?" His lips lowering to my neck and I go to move my hands and I can't and my heart lurches.
"Jackson no. My hands." I say no longer mumbling or wrapped up in a little spell of him. I can't have my hands pinned. Ever.
"What?" His head rises, his lips leaving my skin and he meets my eyes. And then I guess it dawns on him as soon as he sees the slight panic in my eye. His hands leave mine immediately and I sit up from under him.
Staring at him, to just calm down a little. I know I'm supposed to be over it, but there are still little triggers.
"I'm sorry." He says immediately withdrawing himself and sitting a little away from me, giving me a little space but I can feel his need to pull me to him.
"It's chill. I just don't like that."
"That's perfectly understandable, I'm sorry I didn't think-"
"I'm good Jackson, It's ok." I say and he still looks down at his lap a little guiltily. I crawl towards him and pout when he doesn't open his hands for me.
"Um hello." I say and his lips tug up at my tone. I groan as he still doesn't open his arms, so I crawl under them. Affectively climbing into his lap to make him look at me.
"Jackson, we should get ready." I say and he nods at me, but his forehead falls to mine and I smile a little.
"We should talk about it."
"About what?"
"Boundaries, about what you like, what you don't. I want you to know you're perfectly safe with me."
"That's a pretty good idea." I agree and smile when his arms finally move around me, hugging me to his chest as my legs wrap around him a little.
I need to put some clothes on. Goodness. But it just doesn't seem weird to be here with him.
"So never restrict your hands?" He asks and I nod.
"You wanna talk about this now?" I ask and lean back, in order to look him in the eye and smile when his hands grip my waist, as if to say, don't move like that.
"Well we can't really talk about this at my family picnic Ives."
My lips tug up at that suggestion and I just shrug, moving closer to him and wrapping my arms around his neck.
"Okay so yeah, no hand restrictions, or well anything of that type. I don't like feeling trapped. I um, I didn't like people hovering over me, until you, I'm not scared with you." I whisper and suddenly this conversation seems really intimate.
"I like tight grips, but not tight enough to leave bruises. Bruises freak me out. Apart from hickies they are okay." I say and my hand trails the mark on his neck, my fingers run softly over it and he sighs.
"You give me goose bumps. Don't you think that's mad?" He says and I honestly don't know how I didn't tell him I loved him there and then. Something about the confusion in his voice made my heart swell.
I look down to his arms and love that he wasn't lying. "Are you even listening to me?" I laugh softly and he nods.
"I am, but I am having to concentrate very hard. You are sat in my lap without any underwear on." A small smirk falls onto his lips and I shake my head at him.
"I- ok moving on." I start and can't help myself but scoot myself so I was directly against the material separating him and me. "I like to be on top sometimes, I like to be in control, I like to move for us both." I whisper and his head falls down to my shoulder and he lets out a low quiet groan.
"I don't think I thought this conversation through." He states and I laugh, my hand coming to run its way through his hair. I loved how it was slightly curly, that there wasn't curls per say but it definitely wasn't straight.
I can feel him starting to twitch under me and I like knowing that he wants me. Like it's sort of empowering.
"I like it when you say my name, when it comes out as a deep groan and I like it when you use everything you can to bring me closer to the edge. I love it when you almost always come undone at the same time as me." I whisper so quietly into his ear and his hands are so clenched around me that I smile when I feel him hardening below me.
"This was not what I meant." He says and I place a soft kiss on his earlobe and the boy lifts himself slightly, his body unconsciously grinding himself against me.
"You said about what I like though."
"I didn't think this through. Tell me what you don't like."
"I have." I whisper and I bite my lip a little as I move slightly against him, the friction actually feeling really god damn good.
"So no restrictions, you in control unless you say so, no bruises?"
"There are other little things." I admit but his lips are brushing against my jaw so there's no way I can even think right now. "But I am awfully distracted."
My breath is a little shallow as he leaves kisses along my jaw. He rocks up against me again and he's smiling into the side of my neck as I gasp quietly.
"We shouldn't be doing this." He mumbles and I nod, knowing both of his parents are downstairs. That doesn't stop him from trying to lift my top off.
"Jacksonnn." I whisper, pulling the top back down and I realise we are rocking together slowly. Our hips moving on their own accord and I wonder how on earth we were staying away from eachother.
"I just want to see you." He says and he pulls the top up again and this time I let him.
I am naked in his lap, grinding against him agonisingly, rhythmically slowly.
"We need to get ready. Showered." I breathe.
"We really do." He mumbles and lifts his head up to bring me into a needy kiss. I knew what he wanted, I wanted it too. But we should behave.
Jackson's hand comes between us and cups me gently, to which I startle at the suddenly hot pressure and his lips close over my low moan.
"I never finished what I started at Jayden's." Jackson says against my lips and his fingers spread, two of them dipping into me and I rock against him harder.
"Fuck Jackson." I gasp as him other fingers work on the little bundle of nerves and I am shushed by his lips once again.
I can feel him straining against his boxers and I try to smile but then my mouth forms a little Oo when his fingers quicken pace and pleasure runs all the way to my toes. Goodness me, he's really good at this.
I continue to rub myself against him, my hips picking up their own pace as he goes faster with his fingers and I like that his underwear is becoming a little damp, from me and from him.
I lean my hands back on the bed, making my hips angle perfectly to be flushed against his and so he had better access and I watch as his eyes trail my body, the desire evident when he looks over my chest and then meets my eyes again.
Eye contact with Jackson is always intense. But since this started it was always enough to bring me impossibly close to the edge.
"I'm gonna." I gasp and he smirks.
"Good."
Fuck he was hot, wasn't he?
Holy Fuck, the pressure builds to impossible amounts and I try to keep it away, but in the end it spills over the top and I come crashing down biting down so hard on my lips to keep quiet and my eyes fall closed.
I continue to ride it out and when it finally chills down I reopen my eyes and watch as Jackson's hand is wrapped around himself. Watching me come undone must have been enough for him to come undone too because he wasn't hard anymore, and well he was a little messy.
Why is this so god damn hot.
"We should get ready." He says, his voice husky and I nod looking at him and admiring every single feature of him.
I was in this too deep. God.
"Can we shower here and then go get me clothes from my house?"
"I don't think we should shower together." He smirks at me and I send him a little embarrassed smile.
"We can have an innocent shower." I mumble and he shakes his head at me.
"I honestly think if I stare at you any longer without clothes on I will explode."
"You already did." I cheek and he scrunches his face up at me.
"Get your hot ass in the shower and be quick." He points towards the bathroom and I send him another little grin, laughing as he groaned on the bed as I left, making extra effort to walk a little slower so he has plenty of time to watch.
Showering without Jackson was a little tragic, but to be fair it was a lot more productive.
"It's all yours." I smile when I come out dressed in my clothes from yesterday and he nods once and makes his way into the bathroom.
I sit on his bed and wait for him and then my phone rings and when I see it's Cole I cant ignore it. I promised we'd talk more and I missed his calls last night.
"Hey Nena, where you been?" Cole says and I lie back into the bed, looking around my surroundings.
"You'll heavily disapprove."
"Oh now you have to tell me."
"You remember when I said that things were fine between Jackson and I, like a couple of days ago?"
"Mmm?"
"Yeah well I'm at his."
Cole chuckles at me through the phone and I feel a little gross at what Jackson and I agreed to was pretty much the same contract that Cole and I had made.
"I guess you're not there to read a book or bake with his mother."
"Nope."
"Well shit Ives." He says and I just groan.
"Tell me about Nova?"
"Oh. Huh I don't really know honestly."
Jackson emerges out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and he raises an eyebrow at the fact I'm on the phone.
"What's been happening?"
"She's usually so uptight. Or well she pretends to be. Not pretends just, she holds herself back a lot. But like her true self has been popping out lately and it's been so fucking great and funny and she's just a little chaotic and well I'm drawn to chaos so."
I smile widely into the phone, just at the tone he uses when he talks about her. "Why do you sound like this is a bad thing though?"
"Well her friends are so adamant on her staying away from me. I overheard them saying how she needs stability, not recklessness. Calm not chaos."
"You're not reckless." I say, my tone hardening at the girls who are judging my Cole without knowing him.
"That's because you chilled me out when I was with you, like I get where they're coming from. I'm not exactly the sign post of tranquillity."
"So you're upset that they don't want you to see her?" I ask and I imagine him shaking his head.
"I'm worried that they might be right, that I might not be a healthy person to be in her life yanoe? When we first met, she was being reckless, she wanted, and I remember her saying 'a night where she can just feel however much she wants to' like what does that mean?" Cole says and I feel bad for him.
I know exactly what she meant, because I know of her file, of all the shit that's happened. But I couldn't tell him. No way would I share that with him, when she clearly didn't want him to know.
"Cole, just trust her. If she says she wants to spend time with you then spend time with her, if she says she wants you to leave her alone, leave her alone."
"But fuck Ives, she told me to leave her alone, at the beginning and I didn't. Was I an utter cock to force her to let me in her life?"
"I don't know, just, don't do anything rash."
"The fact that you have to tell me not to do something reckless just makes me think that maybe they're right."
"Babe don't hate on yourself, just listen, talk to her." I say and my eyes dart to Jackson as he lets out a deep unimpressed noise.
What's up with him?
"And say what? Sorry if I'm making shit worse?"
"Maybe just see whether she will entertain the conversation?"
"Maybe Nena, god, are you at his now then?"
"Yep watching him get dressed as we speak." I say and Jackson raises his eyebrows at mine and Cole's bluntness.
"So what are yous doing? Are you together now? Isn't he going? I have a lot of questions." Cole says and I laugh.
"I don't even know. Nope and yep."
"Are yous seeing other people?" Cole asks and I pause, my eyes connecting with Jackson's. He's just waiting for me to be ready now.
"We haven't- I don't know." I almost whisper and he just sighs at my tone.
"Hey, someone's at the door. Ill call you later, when you're alone and we can talk?" Cole says and I say a quick ok, and a goodbye.
"You ready?" I ask and Jackson nods giving me a soft smile.
"Is your friend ok?" Jackson asks and I grin a little to myself the way he sounded like he was trying so hard to actually put effort into talking about him.
"He likes a girl, but she's a little complicated." I explain and Jackson snorts, opening the bedroom door for us to leave.
"Complicated?" He looks at me as if to say, you are bloody complicated too.
"Not like me complicated... Well a little I guess. More like you complicated."
"Me?"
"Yep."
"Addiction?"
"No."
"Oh, you're edging more onto the child hood trauma and the depression then yeah?" He says and his bluntness makes me laugh.
"Yeah a little."
"And Cole's interested in her?"
"Pretty sure he's a little infatuated." I smile and Jackson takes me hand in his as we walk down the stairs.
"I thought we weren't telling our friends?" Jackson asks and I look up at him guiltily.
"Cole's my best friend. And well, I meant our friends as in our little group."
"And here I thought I was your best friend?" He squeezes my waist lightly, to tell me he was joking and I slip on my shoes, picking up my bag.
"Who you are to me is a little more complicated than a best friend." I mumble and his hands fall away from me.
I look up at him and he's just staring at me. What? What did I say wrong?
He shakes his head slightly and asks "Ok, so no telling the others?"
"If that's ok? It's just they're already so nosey and I just, you're going, and they're going to constantly be asking me shit about it and it'll just be easier."
"It's fine. Easier." He says a little bluntly and grabs his car keys.
"Jackson?" I ask as we head towards the car. It had fallen a little silent between us and I couldn't stop thinking about Cole's words.
"Yeah?"
"Um okay, this is a little awkward, but I know you said you don't want us to be exclusive, like I get it this is for fun and we are just letting go of things that are holding us back." I ramble and climb into the car.
"What about it?" He says and I sigh.
"Idontwanttoseeotherpeople." I say so quickly that he shakes his head at me, rolling his eyes in amusement at the fact there was no way he was going to be able to understand that.
"Ives, speak slower."
"I'm not going to get with anyone else. And I know I cant ask you not to. But I'm guess that is what I'm asking. And like do you want to see other people too? Because I don't."
He looks over at me with a look of utter bafflement and I send him a little awkward smile.
He just shakes his head at me and starts the car. "You are so dense sometimes."
"Rude." I retort and pout as I pull my seatbelt on.
"Of course I don't want us to be seeing other people Ivy. The thought of you- just no." He says and I am immediately relieved.
"Okay I just, I wanted to make sure we are on the same page."
"We are. I promise." His hand leaves the steering wheel and he spreads it out so I could connect my hand with his, leaving our joined fingers to lie on my lap.
The thing is, he wanted a summer fling, and I was so in over my head, it was a little embarrassing. That's not the same page at all.
Reckless. Because my heart was going to hurt when this was over.
"What are you thinking about?" He asks and I shrug, holding his hand in mine a little tighter.
"Just what I'm going to wear."
"Right okay." He laughs and brings our hands up and places a soft quick kiss on my hand.
Those little actions, they mean so much to me. He does them as if they don't matter.
"My mum really likes you." He chuckles suddenly and I feel the heat rising to my cheeks again at the whole this morning thing.
"She likes to torture me, more like."
"My dad likes you too."
"I mean I did make sure you didn't die as you were trying to stupidly detox yourself like the plonker you are."
"Wow its all coming out now." He chuckles again and I roll my eyes at his amusement.
"It was a silly idea though."
"I know don't worry. My head was just cloudy as shit, I didn't really know what was ok and what wasn't."
"Home detox not ok." I state, clearing it up for him and he just laughs again.
"Ivy I know. I'm sorry."
"How's the cloudiness Jackson?" I ask softly and his smile fades a little.
"It's a lot better I promise."
"It is?"
"Yep. I would tell you if it wasn't. Not that I would have to tell you; you'd just know." He says and I bring our hands to my lips this time.
"How does it feel now? Your head?"
"Less heavy, less darkness. It's still rough don't get me wrong but I think it's getting better."
"I really am proud of you, yanoe?"
"That means everything Ives. You know why." He says and my heart skips because I didn't know why, I didn't know what he meant.
But I didn't say anything else.
Just held his hand as he drove me home.
To get changed so we could go meet his family for a bloody picnic.
Remember when I said I didn't want to blur lines? Ha. Well whoops.
A/N I love reading your little predictions about what's gunna happen with Ives and Jackson lol
Also I have been thinking about what on earth i'm going to do after thsi story ends... Like should i continue writing? IDK. Im sorta interested in November's story, and Cole. But im not sure