Ha long time no see huh? Well I had finals and I have time to update since it's Christmas break. I'm pretty positive I failed two finals but oh well. I'm not that smart anyways. Get some tissue. And let me say it took me a long time because my computer is being slow. I really hope you have a happy new year.
It's been a week since Presley died. Her funeral is right after school. Everyone's been mourning about it. Teachers have been silent, because she was a perfect student and loved by everyone. I even saw Kim a little sad after she betrayed her and the rest of her friends. I hadn't stopped crying since she died. I even stopped talking to Jax. He would come to the house everyday and just hug me tightly as I cried my heart out.
But the most broken about her death was Blake. He didn't go to the same school, but when I saw him he had bags underneath his eyes , which were bloodshot. I saw him at my shift at the diner and he looked like he wanted to die right then and there. I huged and he cried into my uniform, causing people to stare and feel bad for him.
I walked into my last class of the day with my hood up. The whole class just sat in silence. The only person who didn't care about Presley's death was of course Hayley.
"I don't even get what's the big hype. People die everyday..." she muttered.
"You are such a bitch!" I yelled turning around to look at her. The teacher didn't even say anything.
"Wha-"
"Some girl died today and you act like it's nothing. That's one less beautiful person on this Earth and you don't care? Simply because it's not something about you doesn't mean it doesn't matter. This is a huge deal so take your salty ass somewhere else," I complained turning around to put my head on my desk. I heard her scoff and continue writing.
I pulled out the note from Presley. It said not to open until the funeral and I kept that promise. I was supposed to read it outloud to everyone.
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"You ready Toni?" my mom asked cautiously. I nodded and smoothing out my dress. I walked and sat in the back seat next to Jax. Luke by the window watching the dark clouds. Mom and Adam had their own conversation in the front seats.
"Did you even take a peek at the note?" Jax asked grabbing my hand.
"No I promised I wouldn't. I want to read to everyone like she told me to do. I shouldn't have put make-up on knowing that I'm going to cry again," I replied.
"It'll be fine and the sky is starting to clear up a bit. It's showing how happy and cheerful Pres was." That made me smile for the first time all day.
"Yeah it is. I'm going to have to move on and be happy , because that's what Presley wanted so I thik I'll be okay." I kissed Jax's cheek and stared out the window with a small smile.
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I didn't want to walk to her casket. I've already seen her parents and little sister cry looking at her. Blake tried to hug her and give her one last hug. I slowly walked to the casket. There she was. Wearing a lace creme dress. She had a flower crown around her head. I wiped away the stray tear falling from my eye.
"Love you Pres," I whispered. I turned to sit down in my seat next to Jax. I watched as her mom struggled with words to say about her. She kept stuttering and crying, then apologizing for crying. It was heartbreaking.
"Presley was a blessing to us. She had a heart of gold and didn't deserve this. I-I am going to miss my baby so much," she cried. She waved as she walked down the stairs. It was Blake next.
"I loved her..I really did. Yeah, we didn't know eachother long but I know she's the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I wouldn't have met Presley without a good friend of hers named Toni. I was happy to be with Presley while she was here. I promised her I'd move on. It'll be hard to do but she wants me to be happy. It kills me that the most beautiful flowers are always picked. I love you Presley, my sweet angel," he told to the crowd.
Presley's dad patted her on the back and helped him down the steps. It was me now. I slowly walked up the steps and smoothed out my dress. This wasn't going to be easy.
"Hello, I'm here to read a note Preslet left for me to read in front you all today, " I stated. I took a deep breath as I slowly opened the note, " I just want to tell you all knew I wasn't going to make it. I tried to fight but you don't always get what you want huh? Anyway I just wanted to tell you all that I want you all to move on with your lives. Mom, please start cooking again. You've always wanted to but you were scared of what everyone would say. Dad, let Olivia( her sister) be herself. She wants to play football and dress like a boy, let her. Olivia, keep doing what you love. No matter how many people judge you, keep on going.
Blake, my first love. I want you to move on. I want you to be happy and find another person to love. I'll always be in your heart as you were in mine.
Toni, Edith, Raysha, Courtney, Elliot, Maggie, Rylie, and Jax I will miss you guys so much. I've never connected with a group so much. You weren't even friends, more like family. Please don't do something stupid tonight for me. Be safe and live happy. I guess that's all I can really say and make sure I look really cute for the funeral. I want my boyfriend to still think I'm hot," I slightly giggled at her comment and looked at everyone with a smile.
"She will be missed, " I said wiping a tear.
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"You did great," Jax whispered in my ear. All us friends were in a park just talking to eachother about what we loved about Presley and all our memories with her. We were both just sitting on the swings.
"Thanks. I like that she tried to make people laugh in her note. Typical Pres...., " I was starting to tear up again. I haven't stopped crying since the funeral. After it I bawled my eyes out. Jax pulled my body into a tight embrace and rubbed my back. It was late, around 11 p.m. My mom was probably worried, " I want a tattoo. Let's go to the tattoo parlor down the street."
"Presley said don't do anything stupid," Jax muttered.
"This isn't stupid. It's a tattoo for her," I said with a smile, "C'mon everyone we're going to watch me be in pain from a needle!" I shouted.
Courtney tossed her cigarette and I was ahead of all of them. I don't know why because this was going to hurt like hell.
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"You said an orange ribbon for Leukimia right? And her name in the middle of a ribbon piece?" the artist asked. ( It's leukimia what she had? I feel like I'm wrong I hate myself.)
"Yes. I just want it above my hipbone," I added. Everyone was surrounded around me. Jax was holding my hand because he knew it was going to hurt. I felt the needle pierce into my skin. It's not just some sweet walk through the park. Dogs are catching frisbees and birds are chirping. I had a fucking needle poking my repeatedly. I'm going to die.
"It's okay. It gets less and less as you get more. It's better to get it in the most ainful places first because you'll be more used to it or it won't be as bad," Courtney said popping her gum.
I grinded my teeth together and shut my eyes so tight I swear my eyelids almost ripped.
After a while
"You're done kid. Looks nice," the artist said wiping it. I put my wrap over it after I looked at the final results. It looked great and I was happy. And it wasn't to big either.
"Thanks. Here's some money for it. n guys I want to go home. I don't live far so I'm going to walk. Jax I think you should catch a ride from one of these guys," I said getting up. Jax looked unsure at the fact I was walking but agreed.
I started my journey to my house. I was holding my heels in my hand as I walked. I'm starting to get used to heels. I think I'm maturing a little. My phone started vibrating and it was just Jax.
"You couldn't just let me walk huh?" I joked.
"No. I'm a good protective boyfriend who wants to make sure his baby girl makes it home safely," he replied chuckling. I heard 'awes' in the bachground. Obviously he rode with Courtney and Raysha, " I still can't believe you got a tattoo. You didn't cry just moaned a lot. Something you do a lot already without pain."
"I wish I was in the car to slap you I swear to God you're always nasty," I groaned.
"Beat his ass girl!" I heard Raysha shout.
"Well I'm almost home now. It's actually really peaceful. I should walk out here at night more often."
"No the hell you won't! It's dangerous and there are crazy people in this world that'd love to do some sinister things. I don't want you walking unless you're with someone alright," he demanded.
"Yes dad. Well I'm at my door. I love you baby," I said smooching through the phone.
"LOve you to my lovemuffincutie-"
"Eww no. I'll see soon byeeee," I said hanging up. I unlocked the door to see my mom on the couch with Adam. They were both sleep with wedding stuff surrounding them. I kissed both their foreheads and went into my room. I stripped and put on my sweats and a tanktop. I jumped on my bed laying down. My mind just flooded with Presley. All the memories and adorable things she's said. I miss her with all my heart.
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Thank God there wasn't school today. I feel like crap and above my hipbone hurts so much. I was wrestling with Luke and he hit me there. I screamed out in pain while he just sat clueless until I showed him my tattoo. He promised not to tell.
I was currently sitting with my mom in footie pajamas watching her go on and on about the wedding. She wanted everything to be perfect. Her friends were here also and kept trying to give me sympathy about how one of bestfriends is dead. My mom told them to stop talking because she knows I'm nto good with death ever since I've seen Mackenzie die.
I got bored and walked towards the stairs trying to be as discreet as possible. But I was caught.
"Yeeessss," I said awkwardly.
"Where are you going?" mom asked.
"Upstairs. I just am getting a headache and would rather be in my room." I answered. She waved me away and continued talking. I rushed back up the steps and saw the Jax Facetimed me.
"Yes," he answered. He looked uncomfortable. He kept fidgeting around in his seat.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
"I just woke up and I had a dream I guess. And I've got this problem in my lower region. Can you come over," he stuttered. Oh my God!
"Um... do you have a boner," I said trying to hold down my laughter.
"Toni can you please come over I'm hurting!" he whined , " I need you to please please please come over I don't think I'll be able to function."
"What happened in your dream," I teased.
I saw his face twist up into a frown.
" JUST COME OVER!" HE SHOUTED, "AND HURRY UP AND I'M COMING TO YOUR HOUSE AND I DON'T CARE IF YOUR MOM IS THERE!"
"Okay okay, I'm coming babe. But I'm keeping my onsie on..."
I'm sorry it took forever I had horrible wifi and it wouldn't load. But I hope you guys have happy new year. My resolution is to become more flexible and update way more often. Snapchat me it awkwardzaria. I add all back I'm not rude. I love you guys because you really make my year AND THIS STORY HAS 201K IM CRYING I NEVER THOUGHT THIS STORY WOULD GET THAT MUCH I THOUGHT IT SUCKED. I LOVED YOU ALL. AND IM GOING TOA ONE DIRECTION CONCERT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN CHICAGO IN AUGUST IM SO EXCITED.