Right when I step out of the airport after the long flight, dali-dali akong sumakay sa taxi na nakaparada.
Hindi ko pinansin ang pagtawag ni Ate Lala at ibang tauhan na pinasama sa akin ni Mamita nang sumakay ako doon kaysa sa sasakyan na naghihintay sa amin para dalhin kami sa hotel.
"Take me to this address.", malamig na utos ko sa driver nang iabot ko ang address kung saan tumutuloy si Levi.
He gave his address to me before if I wanted to come to visit him. I didn't know I'll come to visit sooner than expected.
Mabilis na tumalima ang driver. Habang lulan ako ng sasakyan ay mistulang hindi ko ininda ang pagod at sakit na nararamdaman. I just desperately wanted to see Levi right now and talk to him.
I refrained myself to believe to everything his father said. I only need to hear it coming from his mouth that it's not true.
Hindi puwedeng tulad si Levi ng tatay ko. He will never lie to me. Hindi niya ako lolokohin. He will never cheat. He will not break my heart.
Kasi kung gagawin niya iyon, hindi ko na alam. My world will definitely crumble down and I'm not ready to welcome another heartache. Hindi ngayon please, huwag ngayon.
Hindi ngayon na magulo pa ang lahat. Hindi ngayon na talagang nasasaktan ako. Hindi ngayon na pagod na pagod ako at ang tangi lamang na kailangan ko ay siya.
Please, Levi. Prove your father wrong. Hindi ako maniniwala sa kaniya hangga't maririnig ko mula sa'yo na hindi iyon totoo.
I won't make you choose between me and your father. But I beg you to not choose Vivienne over me.
Pinanghahawakan ko ang sinabi mong kaibigan lang iyon at hindi mo siya gusto. I did the same with Grey because it's you that I really want.
Nakikiusap ako Levi, huwag ngayon. Pwede mo akong saktan sa ibang pagkakataon pero kung ngayon, parang pinapatay mo na lang din ako.
Nang huminto ang sasakyan sa isang building kung saan ang condo ni Levi ay umibis na ako. Nangibabaw ang takot at kaba sa akin kaysa sa galit nang maglakad ako papasok.
I already know what floor is he in even his unit's password because he said it all to me. He shared his information even some of those which he should've kept private.
Sinabi niya lahat sa akin kaya hindi ko maiwasang masaktan nang itago niya ang tungkol kay Vivienne.
The elevator dings as I stop on the right floor. Biglang gusto ko na lamang manatili doon at hindi na tumuloy pa ngunit pinigilan ko ang sarili.
I went here instead of going straight to my grandfather. I should finish my business here and not let it go in vain.
Humugot ako ng malalim na hininga. Bitbit ang cellphone at clutch bag ay mahigpit akong kumapit doon saka naglakad.
I searched for Levi's unit until I stop in front of one of the doors. Hindi na ako nag abalang kumatok o magdoorbell. I instantly punch on the password to enter.
Nang bumukas iyon ay mas sumisikip ang dibdib ko.
I let myself in. Nabungaran kong nakabukas ang ilaw ng malawak na living room sa unit niya. Ibig sabihin ay mayroon siya sa loob.
Hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi ko magawang magsalita para tawagin siya upang ipaalam na nandito ako.
Marahan akong mas pumasok pa sa loob para tignan kung nasaan siya.
I went to the kitchen and he was not there. I checked every corner of the unit to see if he's there but to no avail. Isa na lamang ang hindi ko tinitignan.
Mistulang pinipigilan ko ang paghinga habang naglalakad sa isang pinto sa loob ng unit kung nasaan ang kuwarto niya.
I stopped on my tracks when I'm right in front of his bedroom door and notice that it was ajar.
Nanginginig ang kamay na dahan dahan kong niluwagan pa ang pagkakaawang ng pinto. Doon ako tuluyang nanlamig. Mistulang bumagsak ang puso ko.
I parted my lips when I finally saw him.
Para akong estatwa na naitulos doon. My heart is beating wildly but I feel numb.
Humakbang ako palapit na waring gusto ko pang itanggi ang nakikita ng mga mata ko.
There in front of me are the naked bodies of the sleeping Vivienne and Levi. Nagkalat ang mga hinubad nilang damit sa gilid ng kama. Wala silang saplot at tanging ang puting kumot lamang ang nakatabon sa mga katawan nila.
I watched how Levi is peacefully sleeping while Vivienne is securely wrapped in his embrace. Magkayakap silang natutulog doon.
Napahinto ako sa paglapit. Umurong ang tapang ko.
Para akong dinudurog nang pinong pino.
Nakita kong bahagyang bumitaw si Vivienne mula sa yakap ni Levi at akma itong tatalikod dito para makatulog nang maayos pero pinigilan ito ni Levi at hinila pabalik sa bisig niya.
"Don't go...", he mumbled in his sleep as his brows furrowed.
I noticed how it put a smile on Vivienne's lips so she snuggled more towards him.
My heart breaks on that view.
Hindi ko alam kung saan ako nakakuha ng lakas na patuloy pa rin silang tignan doon. Biglang hindi ko nalang maigalaw ang paa ko para umalis.
Nanginginig ang tuhod ko. Nakagat ko ang labi sa panghihina.
I stood there, silently hoping he'd wake up to push Vivienne away and tell me it's a complete mistake. That he's just drunk and he thought I was her.
Pero sino ba ang niloloko ko? Even when he's drunk, he should know that I'm not the person he's holding in his arms because he said it himself. That place is only mine. He said it himself that night on my birthday that I'm the only one who belongs in his arms.
What happen Levi?
What is she doing in my place?
Sunod sunod na tumulo ang mga luha ko sa sakit.
Awtomatikong itinakip ko ang kamay sa bibig nang hindi ko mapigilang humikbi.
I refrained myself from making a noise while I silently weep.
I'm the one who needed his embrace right at this moment but looks like his arms are already occupied with someone else.
Umatras ako.
I feel my heart breaking into pieces over and over again and I can't endure it. My facade vanished instantly. I can no longer pretend that it doesn't hurt.
I thought I'd destroy him but the tables turned. I can't even make it seem like he ruined me when it's my fault that I let him in the very first place.
Nang makita ko ang bahagyang paggalaw ni Levi na waring magigising na ito ay pinilit ko na ang sariling kumilos. Mabilis akong tumalikod at mabigat ang mga hakbang na iniwan na sila.
Vince Zardeleja won. And I painfully accept my defeat.
I swallowed hard as I tried to gasp for more air.
Maybe this was a sign that I should totally drop him and never hope for him to come back to me.
That's it.
Our chapter was over. It's true when Levi said he's not a Prince Charming. I should stop being idealistic about him because he's really not. And I was never a Princess. I was never his Princess.
My fantasy ends here. It all ends here.
That day, I didn't even dare to stay there a little longer. We instantly departed for a direct flight to head to our original destination.
Pagkatapos ng halos walong oras na byahe ay hapong hapo akong nakarating sa private room ni Dada sa isang hospital.
"Richard! Did you just finally show up to let Papa collapse again? He nearly even died because of you! Ano na naman ba itong sinasabi mo?", bago pa ako makapasok ay narinig kong galit na sigaw ni Auntie Marie.
"Please let's not fight in front of Papa. Let him rest.", mahinahon ang boses na giit naman ni Auntie Therisse.
"Pa, Vince was already adamant to help us save the company even if Don Leonardo wanted to support us. Pero wala siyang magawa dahil si Vince ang may hawak ng kompanya ng mga Zardeleja ngayon. We needed to rely from the de Veras. I needed to only sign the contract.", boses ni Daddy iyon.
"And what does he want in return? To secure for his own benefit he'd demand that his son will be married off to Raegan? Richard we're talking about your daughter here.", mariin na pahayag ni Dada.
Doon na ako tuloy tuloy na pumasok nang hindi pa nag-abalang kumatok man lang.
Napalingon silang lahat sa gawi ko at natigil sa pagsasalita nang makita ako.
I probably look like a fool in front of them when I notice the look in their eyes. Naroon si Daddy, Auntie Marie, Auntie Therisse at si Dada.
Posibleng mugto ang mga mata ko kahit ipinahinga ko sa tulog ang sarili sa byahe. I still probably look like a zombie from the jet lag but I no longer care.
Kahit ang mapansin na naroon na sa wakas ang ama pagkatapos ng ilang buwan nitong pagtatago ay hindi ko na pinagtuunan pa ng pansin.
I heard them having a huge fight in front of my grandfather while discussing about business matters. I even heard my name.
I glance at Dada as he weakly looked at me. Worry was etched on his face.
"What were you saying?", direkta kong tanong sa ama upang ulitin nito ang narinig ko bago ako pumasok kanina.
Narinig ko ang pagpigil ni Dada at ng mga Auntie ko ngunit wala ni isa sa amin ni Daddy ang nakinig sa kanila.
Hindi ko inalis ang tingin sa ama at hinintay siyang magsalita.
He weighs the expression on my face before he finally sighs. Maybe he saw the desperation and determination in my eyes when he decided to speak.
"I made an agreement with Lucho de Vera. He can help us get the company back on its feet. I wanted to consider his proposal to merge their company with ours. In return, he wants his son to be engaged to you right at the 26th of the month.", walang kagatol gatol na paliwanag niya.
I stared at him for a moment when his eyes are void of any emotion while talking. Na parang bagay lamang ako na handa niyang ibigay kung kinakailangan.
Kung sa ibang pagkakataon, I would've just curse him out but he's not the enemy I wanted to avenge to at this time.
"Okay."
Malakas na nagsinghapan ang mga Auntie ko sa mabilis kong pagpayag.
"Raegan.", I heard Dada called out for me.
Waring hindi ito pumapayag sa sinabi ko tulad na rin nang narinig kong pagtanggi nito sa pag-uusap nila kanina bago ako pumasok.
Hindi ako nakinig sa kaniya.
I went to somewhere else when I should've attended to him first when I'm one of the reasons why he's here. Just because I put myself first, I ended up getting hurt.
Ngayon, wala na akong pakialam. I'll help my family for the Zardelejas to see that we don't need them.
"Do whatever it takes to save the company even if it meant adding de Vera on my name. I no longer care.", I looked at my father eye to eye to let him see that I'm dead serious.
I don't need him to fail this time because I'm already betting on my name.
"But hija--"
Hindi ko na pinakinggan pa kung ano ang sasabihin ni Dada. I only gave my father one last look before turning my back on them to leave.
I may not be able to get back with all the Zardelejas but I'd definitely ruin their eldest heir.