"Harry?" I called once I entered my room.
I spent some time with Judy today. She wanted to learn instagram today. So we spent most of the afternoon doing that. It was nap time for her now, and she agreed to sleep only when I promised her to be there tommorrow as well.
"Up here, love." His voice echoed from up in his room.
I could hear faint voice of a melody playing in background. A delicious smell of chocolate filled my senses as soon as I took the steps to climb up in his room.
I was greeted with the sight of Harry cooking something in the far left corner of his room. He had somehow salvaged a lot of kitchen appliances from somewhere. I don't know much about in detail because he refused to tell me further.
I inhaled deeply, sighing in content as the delicios sweet smell filled my nostrils.
"Hey." Harry greeted me with a smile, turning to look at me and then turning back next moment, to pour the thick (I am guessing) batter in the mould.
"Hey, Are you making cake?"
"Yup."
"Perfect." I smiled, hopping up to sit on the small empty space on the counter.
"How was your day?" He asked, using a spoon to pour the remnants of the batter in the mould.
"Good, yours?" I asked.
He kept the bowl aside and grabbed the oven gloves.
Yes, he has a oven in his room.
"Great as well."
I picked up the bowl he has kept aside, and used my finger to empty the small amount of chocolate batter that had stuck around the walls of bowl.
He set the timer and put the cake inside the oven, and then walked back towards where I was sitting.
He removed his gloves and came towards me, settling in the space between my legs and putting his arms around my waist.
I looked up from the bowl and grinned at him.
"I am not letting you lick the bowl." I childishly hold the bowl to me protectively, pouting at him.
"I don't even need it," He smiled, getting closer to me and connecting his lips to mine in a swift motion.
"I could just do that." He finished his sentence as he moved back, smiling at me.
"Clever." I remarked softly, going back to licking my bowl.
"How's - How are the cramps today?"
"Not that bad."
"Good."
We watched some youtube videos of cats as we waited for the cake to be ready.
Turns out Harry wants to eat only cake for dinner.
And who am I to disagree?
On the eleventh video, we heard the small chime of the timer going off.
"And the cake is ready!" Harry exclaimed happily, getting off the bed and walking towards the oven.
I followed him.
"Ah, the smell." I literally moaned when he opened the oven and took out the cake mould.
This smell reminds a lot of memories. My mom always baked cake on everyone's birthday. She would find reasons to bake cakes all the time. Sometimes for Matt's grades, sometimes for mine. Sometimes, their marriage anniversaries and sometimes just because it's been a long time since we have had a cake.
I had once scored less in sixth grade, she baked a cake that night saying it will give motivation.
"Violet?" Harry's voice brings me back to reality.
Where mom is not alive.
"What are you thinking?"
"Oh, nothing.. just got a few flashbacks." I denied, quickly shifting my thoughts in a more positive direction.
For once, I am going to let it go.
Just like Andrea said.
Harry gave me an amused smile, and we unmoulded the square chocolate cake in a plate.
I took the plate and walked back towards his bed as he grabbed two spoons for us and followed me.
"Mmmm Harry I swear you're a wizard." I said as I ate one small piece of the cake.
The best chocolate cake I have ever had.
"No, I am just Harry, just... Harry." He chuckled, putting the spoonful in his mouth.
I giggled at that, shaking my head as I focused on the divine taste of the cake.
I think I should talk about the help I need from him on my essay.
Or should I just wait till we finish eating ?
Why am I so awkward even after so many days ?
Okay, I'll wait till we finish. That'd be a good idea.
"Woah, that's some complex expressions you are pulling." Harry amused.
Fuck.
Let's just get it done now.
"We are given this assignment today that'll hold 10% of the credit. We have to write an essay answering the question What is Love ?"
"Wow, that's a good question. Simple but at the same time deeper and stronger than any other topic." He nodded in approval.
"Yeah, and I need some help from you." I proceed.
"Always happy to help, baby." He smiled, making my heart rate pick up at that term of endearment.
"Thank you." I smiled, shifting my gaze to the cake because looking at him was getting harder as he stared at me fondly.
"I was thinking of showing contrast. Like, how love used to be in your days and how it has changed now." I explain my rough idea to him.
He nods thoughtfully, furrowing his eyebrows in concentration.
"I think love is very vast topic. And it's definition changes with every perspective. I can tell you from mine, but that's all. There's no universal meaning of love."
I nod, gesturing him to continue.
"To me, love is need. Not in a physical or emotional kind of way. Love is what our souls feed on. You need it just as much as you need air to breathe. Everyone wants to be loved, we need the warmth that love brings. Just knowing that there is someone out there, who cares for you from the core of their soul, the bottom of their heart, is enough reason to live. Love is something that never demands, it just gives. Over and over again even when there's nothing else left inside. The capacity of love is what binds us together. Without love, there is no excistence. I don't think I am making any sense." Harry abruptly stops speaking and chuckles nervously.
"It's okay, just speak whatever comes in your mind." I whispered, still in a bit of trance.
The way he was speaking earlier was something different, I had never seen that expression on his face. The dreamy look in his eyes and his words came out slower than general, as if he was finding it hard to arrange his thoughts into meaningful sentences.
"Okay, yeah so what I mean to say is love is a basic need. And just how you make sure to fulfil the needs of your body, you can't really force love, it just happens. And if you are lucky enough, it happens at the right time under right circumstances, and if you aren't, well then you just wait. I guess." He shrugged, coming to a halt and than taking a deep breathe.
"And when you get tired of waiting and are about to lose hope, the entire universe comes together to give you the love that you deserve, the love that you need." He said it unsurely, but with a firm tone.
I kept staring at his side profile until he turned his gaze over to look at me with a guarded expression.
"Wow." I whispered, not able to speak anything out loud and break the beautifu lspell harry has casted in the air around us.
He just smiled knowing;y, and shifted himself a bit to lie down on the bed.
"It's quite late, Violet. We should sleep."
And the spell broke dpwn.
I quickly glanced at the huge analog clock hanging on the opposite wall.
Midnight.
"Yeah, let's go to sleep. I'll finish the essay tommorrow." I siad, shifting a bit and lieing down beside Harry, string at the ceiling with a thousand thoughts runnign in my head.
I never asked this question to myslef, did I?
What is love to me?
After my parents and little brother passed, love has lost it's meaning to me, but I can remember faintly how I used to think before all of it.
I have always dreamed of love as a fairytale, where at the end, everyone is happy.
I have never connected love just in a romantic way. I have always seen it more universally.
For instance, the love you have for your pet, the love you have for your things and yourself.
But it all ends up to what Harry said.
Love is a basic need, and it is what souls feed on.
I don't think that kind of love can happen in our times where you can easily text anyone you want to and screenshot any conversations to blackmail someone with them later. Where you can just block someone and never talk to them again.
I felt Harry's grip subconsiously tighten around my stomach. It's almost an hour since we slept but I couldn't sleep with all the thoughts running in my head.
I hear Harry take a deep breathe.
"To me, love is the air you breathe, the words you speak, the smiles you smile,the laughs you laugh and the tears you cry. Love is what makes you, you. With all your flaws and scars and imperfections, everything."
I froze when I realised he was talking about me.
Oh fuck no.
Good thing my back is facing him right now.
"I am utterly and madly in love with you, Violet."
Oh.my.god.
My heart stopped just beating.
Or, it started beating too fast.
I closed my eyes and slowly released the breathe I was holding in.
"But you don't need to know this.You're not ready, I know. But I am happy loving you from a distance."
I felt the softest touch of Harry's lips on my shoulder.
It took all the self control to stop myself from shivering.
"I will love you till the end of my existence, Violet."
With that, he pulled me closer to him.
Subconsiously, my lips curled up in a smile.
And soon, I let the darkness take me with it.
________________________________________
That was the hardest chapter I had to write..
Tell me what you think in the comments and give it a vote !
Sincerely,
Meera.