I sat in my room all day with so many hateful thoughts running through my head.
I wanted to kill James.
I started connecting the dots and it all made sense. He was the friend she was in love with. They would always come from James house together.
She got mad at me every time me and James was on good terms.
I sat here with tears down my face.
She knew she been sleeping with him and never said anything.
Everybody fucking knew.
I texted everybody to be at my house soon. I was sick of this anger building up inside of me.
_____
My momma told me everybody was here.
I walked to the living room.
They all sat there confused. "You okay best friend?" Jass asked.
I shook my head no.
"Why lie to me?" I asked.
"What?" I pulled my gun from my pants and put it to my head.
"Notoria." Chris said.
"Nobody move I promise I'll pull this fucking trigger. Why do y'all keep playing with me like I'm a joke or something ?
It's like every time I feel okay shit happens.
Jazz not only did you sleep around with James but you're pregnant by him and all of y'all knew. Everyone of you did and nobody said nothing.
Do y'all know how it feel to be so fucking lost in yo head this is your only option.
Y'all don't fucking understand me mane.
I wanna die everyday I wake up but I don't for the simple fact I thought I had friends that gave a fuck about me.
I was away for months man.
Not one soul reached out to me. Not one."
I wiped my tears. "I hate y'all for real man."
"Drop the gun." James said. I pointed it at him. "I did it once I'll do it again I promise to god.
Y'all gone turn me into a heartless ass bitch.
Imma say what I gotta say then y'all can fucking leave my crib.
Chris, you lied to me.
You was suppose to be my best friend yet I feel like you the enemy just like the rest of them. You and Smoke love to play like y'all here for me when really y'all not.
If I hate anything it's a liar and a motherfucker that play both sides so imma put it like this y'all can stay on James team just don't pretend y'all give a fuck about Notoria periodt.
Raye, Tiffany, and Robyn I thought y'all was my girls man.
Raye I talked to you everyday about everything mane and the fact you couldn't be real with me ? You came out to me but you let James finger you like the fuck?
Tiffany and Robyn both of y'all knew how I felt about James but ain't peep a sound about him fucking my best friend.
Y'all hoes disloyal as fuck man.
Tiffany I friended you after all that bullshit you did to me man.
Jazz I promise I could kill you right here.
You smiled in my face all the time but didn't have the guts to tell me James was your child's dad? That's why wiz was over this shit.
Y'all played him like a dummy.
Me and wiz was y'all lil cover up but you know what y'all can't hurt me no more man.
James I hope you proud of yo self next time i pray you pull the trigger nigga. Also since everything coming out the bag guess what?
Me and Wiz been Lowkey before I even left to the shelter.
He almost took my virginity.
He fell in love with me and vice Versa but I pushed him away for you James but never again. Get the fuck out my house before I empty the clip."
Nobody moved.
"Get out!" I said shooting the tv.
The scattered like roaches and James stood up staring at me. Everybody left out and he grabbed my neck and shoved me into a wall.
"The next time you think you gone confront me on some bullshit make sure you ready to die.
Imma let you slide this time.
Oh and the streets talk love I been knew about Wiz but ion think you wanna be at his funeral so stay the fuck away from him."
He grabbed my gun out my hand.
"Fucking coward."
He let me go and walked out.
I got up and watched him drive off. He smirked at me. I closed the door and tried to call Wiz.
He kept sending me to voicemail.
I grabbed my keys and slides and left. Wiz got me fucked up.
___
I was at his house sitting on his couch waiting on him to come home.
"Wassup sexy?" He asked me when he walked in. "How you know I was here?" "Yo car outside." "Oh Duh."
"I heard about yo lil meeting.
So yo mama told you?"
I nodded.
"Welp ion know what to tell you Toria. This back and forward shit ain't for niggas like me you know?"
"Wiz I'm ready this time."
"That's only because you found out ole girl was pregnant by him.
The moment he pop up with a bull shit excuse you gone again." "No I'm not Wiz. I want you and only you I'm serious."
"How I'm suppose to know that's true Toria tell me?" I stood up and walked up to him.
"I love you Cameron."
He looked at me.
"You sure?" "More than anything." I said.
He smiled. "I missed you mamas."
"I missed you more baby."
He picked me up.
I laughed.
"What you doingggg?"
"I got yo favorite movie Love and Basketball recorded and hella snacks."
"Say lessss." I said.
James POV
I was chilling with the gang.
"So we gone sit here like that girl ain't have a gun on all of us." Tiffany said.
"She wasn't gone use it." I said pulling it out my pocket. "She shot you before." Jazz said. "And I bet she won't do that shit again."
"Yeah that shit was crazy." Chris said.
"How long her and wiz been fucking off?" Robyn asked.
"Ever since James got shot by august daddy folks." Raye said. "On god?" Smoke responsed. "I already knew. He made a pass at her while they was in the car but it was before then.
They been fucking off."
"How he find out about Jazz?" Smoke asked. "Well Jazz?" I asked her.
"We was arguing and I told him." She said.
"Now what if I was to say Ian wanna be in the baby life now you lost 2 baby daddies." "But I know that's not true so."
"I guess." I said.
I lit a blunt and started smoking. "Aye ma?" I gave my blunt to Smoke and went to her room.
"What?" She said.
I went in her room. "You good?"
"Yeah. I heard about Toria." She said. I jumped my shoulders. "Why?" She asked me.
"Why what?"
"Y'all keep playing with that fucking girl like that?" "Ma don't start allat she broken shit. She held a gun to us today.
She a opp now. Hang with opps become a opp."
"You sound stupid." My pops said coming from the restroom. They working some shit out I guess. "Y'all like her so much y'all go kiss her ass I'm not."
"You gone see." My pops said.
"Ian gone see—." I stopped talking and instantly pulled my mama to the floor.
Gun shots went off through the house. "Ma stay down." I grabbed a gun from under her bed. Me and my pops nodded to each other.
It sounded like they was ringing off through the front of the house.
I stayed low.
We went to the front and Smoke was shooting back. Chris wasn't really in this shit he was just a bad ass kid that stayed in detention.
All the girls was ducked behind the couch.
"Ay go check on Bre and Jaden." My pops said. I nodded and got up and went to they rooms.
"Bre!" She was in the corner balled up crying.
"You good?" I checked her out. She nodded. She pointed behind the door. I seen Jaden laying in a pool of blood.
I broke down. I grabbed him.
"Come on Jay damn." He looked at me.
"Is Bre okay?" "She good man." "I was trying to protect her." He said.
"Yiu did man. You did." I was crying hard as hell. "Ayyyyyy!!!! Get the car started!" I yelled. "Look jaden you gotta stay with me man okay? Stay with yo big brother.
You know how you was a kid and always wanted to hit the block with me."
He laughed.
"What happened?" My pops ran in.
"He tried to protect Bre but was already shot. Start the fucking car." I picked him up and ran outside to the truck.
We got in the backseat and my mama ran out screaming. "My babyyyyy."
"Ma I gotta get him to the hospital before he bleeds out man." "I love you baby." She said kissing his head.
"I love you too." He said coughing up blood.
"Ma move we gotta go."
I closed the door and my pops started speeding there. "Mane hang in there Jay."
"Call Toria." He said.
"Huh?"
"I wanna talk to her." "Jay nah." "I might not make it James. Call Toria."
I sighed and called her.
I got the voicemail.
I texted her "911". Few seconds later she called back on ft.
Are you crying ?
Somebody wanna talk to you.
I put the phone on Jayden.
She screamed.
What the fuck happened to you Jayden? James what y'all do to him?
Hey Sweet Thang.
Jayden said coughing. She was crying but smiled when he said it.
Hey baby.
You was always beautiful to me.
Jayden please don't waste yo last bit oxygen on me. I'll sit on the phone with you just shhhh please. I need you to make it.
I gotta say this. You are amazing and you had my heart always. Thank you for being an amazing big sister to us. I love you so much Toria you forever my sweet thang.
You forever my king. I love yhu too baby boy.
He smiled and his eyes got low.
Noooooooooooo
Toria screamed. "Pops get there he leaving." "Where y'all at ? I'm on the way!" Toria said.
"Chasity Hospital."
"I'm right down the street from there. Hang on Jayden I'm coming." She got in the car and dashed.
We pulled up. I lifted him up.
They rushed to us with stretchers.
"Wait!" Toria screamed running in. She got here fast as hell. "Can I go with him please?" The nurses looked at us.
I nodded.
"Yeah." They wheeled him through some doors.
Notoria POV
I was looking at him and he held my hand so tight. "I love you." I kept telling him.
"Notoria this as far as you can go. He has to go to the OR alone." I cried. "Please save him okay." I kissed his cheek.
"I love you." He had an oxygen mask on.
His grip on my hand eased up.
"We gotta get him into surgery." They wheeled him off and the doors closed on me.
I broke down.
The nurse grabbed my arm.
"Come on boo."
She walked me back to the front. I stared at James. "What happened to him?!!!" I yelled hitting him.
"I don't know." He said.
"You don't ever know nothing James. I fucking hate you mane."
His pops grabbed me.
He held me.
"Calm down Toria." "I hate him so much. I just know it's his fault man."
"You don't know that Toria. Neither do we.
Shoots fired at the house.
We thought it was the front. We never knew it hit they room. He was trying to protect Bre." "I should've been there. I could've took the billet for him."
I was all over the place.
His dad gripped tightened.
"Stop speaking like that Notoria. It's a reason you wasn't there and be grateful you wasn't. You was the first person that popped in Jayden's head.
You and Bre.
Not his mama, not James, not even his sorry ass daddy. You and Bre.
If that bullet hit either one of y'all he would've been dead mentally and emotionally. It's a chance he gone make it he a hard body."
I nodded. "You right." I said.
"Where's Bre?" "They on the way." I nodded. My leg was shaking.
I sat down and just started praying.
Dear Heavenly Father please don't take him from us this early.
He's barely lived god.
Spare him and take me instead god. I'm ready he's not.
I just need this one favor god please. In Jesus name I pray amen.