SOMEONE PATTED HER SHOULDER, telling her everything will be find. She's a little bit nervous. A little bit? Fuck, she's fucking nervous to the core. Ilang beses bang sumagi sa kaniyang isipan kagabi na uuwi nga sila ng Pilipinas?
Nakabalik na sila sa Seoul at nasa isang high end club nanaman sila. Naroon sila upang tumugtog kasama naman ang ibang banda, naroon din si Ryde na sumama lang sa kaniya. She was with him a while ago, sa isang photoshoot na pinagbigyan niya lang talaga. Ang sabi rin kasi ng kaniyang manager ay kailangan niya rin ng publicity para sa kaniyang magiging solo album na pinaghahandaan palang nila. Pagkatapos kasi ng kanilang album na Poison ay doon na siya dadako. Ang kaniyang malapit na kaibigan naman na si Kianna ay may upcoming drama. She's an antagonist there.
"You can survive" natatawang sabi sa kaniya ni Mica. She is the jolly one, ang laging masayahin sa grupo but despite of her pretentious smiles and joyful face, there's a hiding pain. Alam na alam nilang pito ang mga pinagdaanan nito sa buhay. She was raped at a young age, caged by a unknown man. Maging ang babae ay hindi alam kung sino ang nagkulong rito for almost two years.
She's a daughter of a politician, nasa pamilya na nito ang pagiging leader kaya siguro nangyari sa babae ang mga ganoong bagay. Naging natural na dito ang mapahamak dahil sa ama. Sa mga kalaban ng ama nito. Pero ni minsan ay hindi inasahan ni Mica ang ganoong kadelikadong bagay.
"Sayo pa talaga nanggaling 'yan" ismid niya. Tumawa lang si Mica saka siya inakbayan, mas matangkad kasi sa kaniya ang babae. "Hindi mo ba siya namimiss?"
"Who?"
"You fell in-love with him"
Tumawa lalo ito pero siya ay nanatili lamang na walang reaksyon. She feels tired all of a sudden. She just wants to rest and keep her mouth shut but she needed comfort too and Mica is one of the best option, they have the same experience in life.
"Hindi ka pa nakakamove on" ani'ya.
"Alam ko" tumatawa parin ito. "But I wanted to enjoy my life now, ayoko na munang isipin ang mga masamang nangyari sa akin"
"How about Enzo? Are you really going to say yes to him?" Kuryoso siya. Nalaman kasi niyang nanliligaw dito ang lalaki.
"Yes" Mica smiled. "I accepted the fact that I can't see him anymore, I accepted the fact that we're not destined to each other so why keep myself from the past? Hindi ko na siya hahayaang hilain ako pababa. He had his chance, but he trifled it away"
"Mica?" She sighed. "Do you really want to go the Philippines?"
She nodded. "I miss my family too. Mommy thinks I already forgot them"
"I don't wanna go back there" she said, matter of fact. "I just—I just-" she sighed and looked at the glass of liquor.
"Hindi masamang matakot" Mica smiled at her. "Alam mo bang natatakot din ako?"
"I know. Maybe you can fool other people, but not us. You are transparent to us" Erriah swallowed the bitter taste of liquor, she then asked for the bartender for another shot. "Alam na natin lahat ang kwento ng bawat isa, si Cheska nalang talaga ang madamot sa ating lahat. Hye Kyo learns to open up somehow. Atleast, hindi na siya kill joy"
"I am curious too" ngumuso ito. Ang manipis na labi nito ay mas lalong naging marikit. "Hindi talaga marunong magshare ang babaeng 'yon" tukoy nito sa kanilang manager.
Tapos nang magperform ang buong banda at ang kaniyang grupo nang magrequest ang owner ng club na kumanta siya. She willingly said yes, with smile.
Hinawakan niya ang mikropono at pumikit. She bit her lower lip first and started singing.
[Credits: This is what a broken heart feels like by Marina Lin]
"You gave it all away
Didn't even let me in
You gave the worst goodbye
And people ask me what I've been"
She opened her eyes and looked sadly at the people. Tahimik nanaman ang kaninang maligalig na crowd.
"So let me tell them,
Friday nights got me feeling lonely
Saturdays are when the bottles empty"
She then smiled sadly. Alam niyang ramdam ng mga tao ang kaniyang lungkot. Dala marahil ng alak na kaniya nang nainom kanina.
"Why'd you have to break me,
I know that your intentions weren't to break me
But it cuts so deep,
I'm dripping slowly
These nights are getting lonely
So, why'd you have to break me?"
She closed her eyes again.
"Oooooh"
She saw her co-members looking at her sadly.
"I'm a mess in the making
Hours become days, and days become months
Without you
And I've been self-medicating
With bottles and blades, and glasses of champagne
Without you"
Mica is already crying.
"And Friday nights got me feeling lonely
Saturdays are when the bottles empty
Why'd you have to break me?
I know that your intentions weren't to break me
But it cuts so deep,
I'm dripping slowly
These nights are getting lonely
Why'd you have to break me?"
After the song, she wiped the tears on her eyes. Naglakad siya papunta sa kinaroroonan ng kaniyang mga kasama at nagpatuloy na sa pag-inom.
Nakatanggap siya ng tawag mula kay Kian. He was worried sick when he found out she's already drunk. Again. Pinauuwi na nga siya nito. But they are in Seoul, walang masamang mangyayari sa kanila. Isa pa ay kasama naman niya ang kaniyang PA na si Kimmy. Tinanong nito kung nasaan siya pero hindi niya sinabi. Natatawa niya pang ibinaba ang tawag nito. She could see Kian cussing at his phone.
"Ryde!" Tawag niya sa lalaki na sumasayaw na sa dancefloor. He didn't hear her, masyado na itong namimihasa sa kasayaw. She laughed and then walked towards him. Hinila niya agad ang kamay nito at nagsimula nang sumayaw. She snaked her arms at her nape and smiled seductively. Mukha namang nagustuhan yun ng modelo. He held her waist and pinched it. Napatingala siya dito.
"You naughty man" ungol niya. She turned her back at him and kneaded her buttock to his front. "Ugh" mahina na ang naging ungol niya nang hawakan nito ang kaniyang beywang, siya naman ay nagsimula nang umindayog.
"Let's get out of here" bulong nito, his voice became hoarse. "Come on, doll"
She stopped, mabilis ang naging byahe ng kaniyang isipan pabalik sa nakaraan. "Shit" mura niya. Humarap siya dito at tinitigan ito. Wala siyang balak lumabas kasama ito but while looking at the man, tila nagbabago ang itsura nito. She can see the man who captured her heart, the man with few words but still made her fall in love.
Hinila niya ito papunta sa sulok at mariing hinalikan. Her drunken state also worsened it. Napaupo silang dalawa sa puting couch. She was straddling him. F*ck,Erriah! Get back to your senses, she was shouting at herself in her mind. Paulit-ulit na nagmumura ang kaniyang isipan but she couldn't stopped herself from kissing this man.
"Oh f*ck!" He cussed and then hold her nape to pull her more. "Auh, doll"
Sh*t. Mura nanaman niya sa kaniyang isipan. That f*cking endearment. She hates it! Dapat ay kanina niya pa ito tinutulak pero hindi niya magawa.
They were making out, ang suot niyang leather jacket ay wala na sa hustong kinalalagyan. Her white tube was moved too. Sumisilip na doon ang medyo kalakihan niyang dibdib. Kailangan siyang sagipin ng kaniyang mga kasama pero nasaan ba ang mga ito? Natabunan na ng mga tao ang kinalalagyan nila. Some people were eyeing them. Bigla niya itong naitulak nang maramdaman ang haplos nito sa ibabang bahagi niya. Doon lamang tila nagising ang kaniyang isipan.
"F*ck! Ryde! Back off!" Tumayo siya mula sa pagkakadagan dito.
"Wait, you were enjoying it,Erriah" natatawang anito. Buti naman at hindi na ito nagtangkang tawagin siya sa ganoong endearment. Hindi na siya makakatiis.
"Uuwi na ako"
"Erriah, you made me hard and then you're leaving?" Hindi makapaniwala nitong sabi.
She has to call Kian. Ito lang ang kailangan niyang tawagan.
Hinanap niya ang kaniyang purse pero nasa kanilang pwesto ito. "Can I borrow your phone?"
Hindi parin ito makapaniwalang nakatingin sa kaniya. "Here" sumusuko naman ito. Alam kasi ng mga nakasama na niya sa industriya na sa una lang talaga siya magaling pagdating sa ganoong bagay. Hindi siya yung magpapatuloy pa at magpapadala sa tusko ng tawag ng laman.
She's done with that part.
She dialed Kian number. Agad naman itong sumagot.
"Pick me up here. Quickly" aniya.
Pinatay na niya ang tawag pero nagsend agad siya ng mensahe dito kung nasaan siya.
"I wish I am Kian. F*ck" umiiling na itong umalis sa tabi niya. She saw a girl taking a video of her pero isinawalang bahala na lamang niya 'yon.
Bumalik siya sa kanilang pwesto. "Saan ka nanggaling?" Tanong ng kaniyang kasama na si Mica. Kianna was eyeing her suspiciously.
"Did you make out with someone again?" Turo nito sa kaniyang labi. Her lipstick smudged again.
"I'm leaving. Hindi pa ba kayo uuwi? Look at Jade, she's wasted" ngumiwi siya nang magsimula nang umiyak si Jade. Ang main dancer nila. "Sh*t, we should all go home"
She picked her purse at the table and pull Kianna and Jade up.
"I still want to drink! I'm not drunk yet! Give me another shot! Come on, you!" Turo nito sa isang waiter.
"No, uuwi na tayong lahat. Sh*t, kahit na gusto kong wala si Cheska, pero sa ganitong sitwasyon, siya lang ang maaasahan" hinila na niya ang iba pang kasama.
She told Kimmy to drive Jade's car. Doon rin naman sumakay si Hye Kyo kanina kaya sabay sabay na ang mga ito, kasama ang dalawa pang PA ng mga ito. Si Denise naman at Mica ay magkasabay, kasama din ang kaniya-kaniyang PA ng mga ito. Denise has her own driver kaya walang problema sa mga ito.
Kianna and her patiently waited for Kian. Sumabay lang kasi siya kanina sa sasakyan ni Ryde, samantalang si Kianna ay kasama ang pinsan nito kanina na ngayon ay nawawala na, paniguradong nasa hotel na kasama ang kasayawan nito kanina.
"What happened to you two! Look at your-" Kian shook his head when he saw them. Hinila siya ni Kian upang alalayan.
"Kian, I'm here too. Oh, d*mn you"
Natawa siya. Nagpa-baby naman siyang kumapit sa leeg ng binata at hinalikan pa ang pisngi nito. "You are really my savior"
"You should've brought me with you when you are planning to get drunk like this. And you!" Baling nito sa kapatid. "Why did you let her drink a lot again!"
"D*mn you" inis nito sa kapatid.
Puno ng pag-iingat siyang isinakay ni Kian sa passenger seat. Saka lamang nito binalikan ang kapatid at maingat ding isinakay sa likuran. Nang makasakay naman ito sa driver seat ay agad nitong hinubad ang suot na jacket at inilagay sa kaniyang binti. She was wearing a short leather skirt. "I love you" ngiti niya sa lalaki.
Umiling lang ito sa kaniya. He looked back at his sister. Kianna glared at his brother.
"I'm not sure if I am really your sister"
Natawa nanaman tuloy siya.
Inihatid muna nito ang kapatid na babae sa sariling condominium nito, naroon naman naghihintay ang bago nitong kasintahan, or maybe her new fling.
"I kissed Ryde" aniya, nakapikit na.
"I know"
Nagmulat siya at tumitig dito. "And how did you know? Oh-you have a spy? Is it Kianna?"
"No. I saw it on the internet"
Napasapo siya sa kaniyang noo.
"The video of us kissing weren't subsided yet, and then you're making a new one? God, Erriah. Cheska will kill you for sure"
Natawa siya, maybe she's too drunk. "Yeah, I know"
Nagising na lamang siya kinaumagahan na nasa kaniyang condominium na. She was wearing her pajamas and her make up was removed too. Napatingin siya sa lalaking nasa kaniyang tabi, mahimbing na natutulog. Samantalang si Kian ay hindi na nakapagpalit ng damit. She shook her head. Masyado talaga itong nagmamagandang loob sa kaniya. After kissing his forehead, she went to the bathroom and take a bath. Ililigo na lang niya ang sakit ng kaniyang ulo.
Nang makalabas ay wala na sa higaan si Kian. She went to her kitchen and saw him there. He was busy cooking waffles.
"Why did you sleep here?"
Lumingon ito sandali sa kaniya pero agad ding ibinalik ang mata sa ginagawa. "O can't leave you" anito. "You were dreaming again-" he suddenly paused. Alam na niya ang tinutukoy nito. "I already prepared you medicines for your hang over, take that after eating this. I'll just take a bath" anito pagkababa sa waffles sa kaniyang harapan.
Napanguso siya. Nang maglakad na ito patalikod sa kaniya ay muli niya itong tinawag.
She smiled at him. "Thank you, Kian. I'm lucky I have you. I love you"
Kian just shrugged his shoulder. "Just eat" and then plastered his smile.
——
NOTE:
I used 'This is what a broken heart feels like by Marina Lin', pinalitan ko lang 'yong word na 'Leave' sa 'break' just to make it accurate. Di kasi siya iniwan, niwasak lang si Erriah, oo, double meaning po yung pagwasak. HAHAHAHAHAHA