"I don't mean to betray your trust or something, don't misunderstand." Jungshin wiped the ramen sauce on his lips with a tissue. "But I think Jonghyun hyung has the right to know the truth. All problems must be resolved."
"But finally he and Yonghwa oppa really reported it to the police. Don't you think I'm so mean?"
Jungshin looked at Seungyeon who was sitting right in front of him with his mouth full. "Do you think I wouldn't do the same thing? Believe me, if they didn't do it I would definitely do it. How can you think you're the bad one after what she did to you and us?"
Seungyeon pursed her lips while stirring the ramen sauce. After being scolded by Jonghyun and Yonghwa, now she is scolded by Jungshin. Could it be tomorrow by Minhyuk? Gosh.
"But..."
"Just take the positives. They are deterrent, you and Jonghyun hyung make up, I'm safe from scandal, CNBLUE can comeback calmly and your family are fine."
This time Seungyeon couldn't help but nod in agreement. Everything Jungshin said was true, she shouldn't feel guilty. After all, everything was revealed because of her own carelessness who accidentally dropped the OTP on Jungshin's car while looking for a hair tie in a bag.
I wonder what will happen if Seungyeon is still hiding alone. Maybe they still feel down and cry every night, or hate themselves for hurting Jonghyun.
"By the way, about what you said when was at the park..." Seungyeon hesitated to continue her sentence, perhaps more confused.
Jungshin who understands the direction of the conversation slowly saves chopsticks and sips cola before really focusing on Seungyeon.
"I already know the answer." He said relaxed.
Seungyeon looked at Jungshin with mixed feelings, she didn't know how to explain her feelings. So she could only look down and whisper. "I'm sorry."
"You don't need to apologize." Jungshin shook his head. "I knew from the beginning your heart never belonged to me. I was just... Well, trying to take a chance. I love you, and you have the right to know that."
"Oppa is disappointed in me?" Hesitating, Seungyeon asked.
Jungshin was silent for a while and Seungyeon patiently gave him time to think. Do not get her wrong, she asked like that does not mean she felt herself in the wind because Jungshin put a feeling on her. But -again- because she did not want to hurt anyone.
"Yes, I'm disappointed." Jungshin answered honestly. "Which man will not be disappointed when his feelings are unrequited."
"Are you angry too?"
This time Jungshin laughed. "If I'm angry we won't be here and talk like this, Seungyeon."
Seungyeon nodded, confirmed. "What about Jonghyun oppa? Are you angry at him too?"
"Yes. I am angry at him. Very angry, because he hurt you. Because he made you trouble and cried, because he was not strict with Jisoo. I even beat him because I was very angry."
"Until now?" Seungyeon asked again.
Jungshin propped his chin up with one hand, his eyes still faithfully staring at Seungyeon's beautiful face. "No. Because he has returned your smile again."
Oh my God.
Seungyeon looked down and whispered inwardly, why should a man as nice and as sweet as Jungshin fall in love with a girl like her? Isn't there a beautiful and kind girl out there who won his heart? The world is wide, right?
"Now, may I ask you something?"
Seungyeon looked up, looked back at Jungshin. "Sure."
Jungshin sighed. "If you had met me first, would you have given me a chance?"
A moment of silence. Now it's Jungshin's turn to give Seungyeon time to think of an answer. In that very long moment, Jungshin couldn't stop his heart from beating with hope.
"Yes. There's no reason for me not to give you a chance." Seungyeon answered, making Jungshin smile. "But time and meeting with someone is not something I can manage alone."
"That's true." Jungshin's gaze was now wandering, involuntarily turning his memory back to the first time he met Seungyeon.
In CNBLUE's training studio, filming We Got Married, Seungyeon who was wearing a school uniform looked very innocent. Very cute. Then the subsequent meetings were mostly filled by Seungyeon and Jonghyun who sat side by side holding hands.
Then at the hospital, the first meeting was unintentional. That's when Jungshin first saw another side of Seungyeon. The girl he knows always looks cheerful, strong and happy turns out to be fragile and weak. Make Jungshin want to protect her.
And their other meeting. Jungshin admit, meeting with Seungyeon is addictive. No wonder Jonghyun didn't want to end it, even when the camera was no longer recording.
"It feels like everything I can manage. What clothes I wear, what food I eat, what books I read. I can walk on the streets and arrange anything I want to see, anyone who is interesting enough for me to talk to. But I can't manage one thing, and that is love. To whom I fall in love, with whom I want to spend my life and who will fall in love with me." Said Jungshin at length.
Seungyeon smiled. This is one of the things she likes about Jungshin. About how easy it is for him to make someone feel comfortable. It's easy for Seungyeon to talk heart to heart with Jungshin. No need to be afraid of stepping or guessing wrong because they can be honest with each other. And Seungyeon was also amazed at how much understanding Jungshin had.
Jungshin and Jonghyun are indeed different. Seungyeon is not comparing who is better, it is precisely these differences that make them special in their own ways.
"I'm grateful that everything is almost over and we're all good." Jungshin said again. "But, if you need someone to talk, or complain, don't ever hesitate to come to me. I make sure I will always be there to listen to you."
"Thank you for understanding, Oppa."
"Thank you for giving this opportunity even if only."
Now, both of them enjoy silence. Jungshin no longer looked at Seungyeon, his eyes were busy watching the frost in his glass of cola. Whereas Seungyeon unconsciously squeezed her fingers, noticing Jungshin's slightly wistful expression even though he tried to be cheerful and ordinary.
Seungyeon wasn't joking when she said she would give him a chance if she had met him first, Jungshin really deserved that opportunity. But they live in the present, when Seungyeon has given her heart to Jonghyun.
Ya, when Seungyeon was in love with Jonghyun.
Only to the man.
Lee Jonghyun.
No other.
"You know," Jungshin turned his gaze back to Seungyeon. "You are my best broken heart."
After saying that, Jungshin smiled. Really smile. Not a forced smile or a fake smile. The man smiled sincerely with both warm eyes.
And Seungyeon prayed silently, hopefully, someday, Lee Jungshin, a kind-hearted man who loved her selflessly, who always sacrificed without complaining, who was willing to budge and understand, would get someone who sincerely loved him as much as the love Jungshin had for her.
"Thank you because Oppa has wanted to become a figure of an older brother I never had."
Jungshin nodded. "Thank you, too, for wanting to be a younger sister that I never had."
After dinner at the ramen restaurant, as usual Jungshin drove Seungyeon home. Until the front door of her apartment.
Jungshin looked at Seungyeon fiercely before she entered, kept it carefully in the memory of that beautiful face with a thin makeup, sliced brown eyes that for Jungshin like caramel, and her natural red lips. As if he will never see her again.
"Maybe this is the last time we are dating and I will take you home. Well, unless Jonghyun hyung allows." Said Jungshin in a light tone.
Seungyeon smiled. "Thank you for dinner and for taking me home."
"You're welcome. Come in, I'll go home now."
Seungyeon nodded, but let Jungshin go first. Just a few steps Jungshin left, instead she exclaimed, "Jungshin oppa!"
Confused, Jungshin turned around, staring questioningly, "Hm?"
"Oppa, you don't mind if you meet me as a friend, right?"
Just like that, Jungshin smiled broadly. Feeling funny with Seungyeon's question just now.
"Of course not!" He replied exclaiming.
Only then did Seungyeon reply with a big smile as she waved. Jungshin joined in waving and continuing. After the man turned the end of the corridor and was no longer visible, Seungyeon entered the apartment with a relieved heart.
Without anyone knowing, in the elevator, Jungshin stood still by himself. And only God also knows, when slowly, a tear falls from his eyes.
***