▸𝗔/𝗡: Hello, my lovelies!
I'd like to grant you this long update as a token of my appreciation for each and every one of you. I love writing on its own, but to have such amazing readers who truly admire me and my work is a feeling I cannot explain.
I apologize for the fright I may have caused anyone. I'm here and stronger than ever.
I will continue writing stories for you all.
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"𝗔𝗻𝗱𝗿𝗼𝗴𝘆𝗻𝘆 𝗜𝗜" ; 𝗜𝗺 𝗝𝗮𝗲𝗯𝗲𝗼𝗺 𝗔𝗠𝗕𝗪 𝗠+
━ ❝𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘺 𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳.❞
✦
𝗧𝗔𝗚𝗦:
First Time, Vaginal Sex, Oral Sex. Self-Discovery
✦
𝗔𝗗𝗗𝗜𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟 𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦/𝗜𝗡𝗙𝗢:
Sexual Content, Androgynous Female Reader.
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅
You do not speak to him for an entire month after it happens.
Anger is the furthest from your mind; perturbation conquers all. Desperate for answers, you engaged in strenuous soul-searching. Still, nothing rose to the surface.
One would assume a woman in her mid-twenties would be going insane after facing so much turmoil. You would be the first to confirm it.
If you weren't so stubborn, you might have been able to wrap your mind around actually liking Jaebeom. In all your miserable days of wonder, it hadn't crossed your mind. For so long, you tried to convince yourself what happened was a mistake. Unspeakable. Unforgivable.
Miraculously though, you found yourself in front of a gated community, arm raised in preparation to knock on a wooden door. Hope flooded your heart as you wondered if this would be the answer to all your questions. If not, then you would be back to square one.
Hopelessly confused.
Surely, you had been dreaming. The door was opening before your very eyes, revealing a dressed-down Jaebeom. Clothes surfaced in cat hair, hair now cut short and tidy, a dull look in his eyes by default. Same-ole' Beom.
That intimidating gaze gave you hope you did not deserve. You watched it bloom into one of confusion, then shock, until the two of you watched each other in silence.
He clears his throat and offers a half-step to the side. "Would you like to come in?" He asks carefully. One step grows into two before three, leading you to where you subconsciously liked to think you belonged.
The door shuts softly behind you, and as you take in the sight of his cozy, feline-occupied living space, comfort made itself known.
"Water?"
You spun around on your heel, raising an eyebrow.
"Would you like some water?" He repeats and clears his throat and sets out toward the kitchen before you can answer.
Comfortable silence grazes the two of you, urging one of you to ruin it. It's Jaebeom who does so, so carelessly.
"What's up?" He asked, watching as you shrugged your shoulders even though you knew the answer.
"I just wanted to talk," You spoke only half-truthfully. He has no problem reading you, so he does. "You have ulterior motives," He states knowingly.
You glance at one another and share a laugh. Why did you bother?
Your smile dies on your mouth as you remember why you're there.
"Jaebeom, I'm-" You began before a rich voice was lulling your words to sleep.
"Please don't. It was not your fault."
"But-"
"I shouldn't have touched you. You did not consent to any of it," He declares, but his silence is an invitation to a rebuttal. One glance at him has you hesitating to look away. Somewhere along the way, you accepted the possibility of liking him a bit.
Dewy skin and soft dark eyes had you second-guessing yourself, leaving you with a whopping realization much too heavy to say aloud.
"But I didn't stop you," You countered, "I let it happen because I wanted you to touch me."
He finally picked his eyes off the ground and raised his head, confusion smeared across his face. "You...?" He began, trying to put two and two together. You stepped forward and grinned a bit at his timid nature.
"I only left because I was scared and confused," You admitted, sensing the distress on his end. "I needed time," You admitted.
Though he understands the concept of patience as much as the next person, he still pouts in defeat. "For?" His innocent inquiry is no match for your assertiveness.
"I just needed to figure things out. I found out something..." You drawled, "Something I didn't know was possible." You kept the full truth from him on purpose, wondering what he would do if you feigned uncertainty and uneasiness.
"What did you find out, lovely?" His eyes climb down your being and plummet to the ground once again. You found yourself missing the sight of his round orbs.
"That I like you."
Jaebeom hasn't realized how much those words could mean to him until now. The words are all he's ever wanted to hear, but it does nothing to bring a smile to his face. "I got you to realize your feelings by being a potential rapist? Wow. I really am awful."
"I wanted it-"
"That doesn't make it okay! I should have waited. I should have kept my hands to myself or at least waited for you to tell me it was alright. I abused my privilege to know you. You should be filing a lawsuit against me right now."
"Be grateful I'm not."
There's a moment of silence. As he sits there trying to wrap his head around things, you sat close to him and placed your hand on his. "I've actually liked you for a while now, Beom."
He whips his head to the side and quirks an eyebrow at you, silently demanding answers.
"I have been drowning in confusion since the day I met you. I've never experienced an attraction toward men. My whole life, I've solely been attracted to women. But then you come into my life and show me more about myself. I wasn't ready to come to terms with not knowing who I entirely was, so I distanced myself and tried to hide from it."
"I feel like a fraud." You admitted lowly, lips pursing at your foolish and unsolicited spewings.
Though pessimistic by nature, Jaebeom never fails to make light of your problems. "You aren't a fraud, (Y/n). You're a woman who has just discovered a new part of herself. There has never been a rule where one has to know everything about themselves by twenty-five. Why are you beating yourself up?"
You looked to him, eyes unguarded and vulnerable as you took him all in.
"I've always loved you. Though I knew it was useless, I chose to spend each day suffering. I can't fathom a world where you don't exist. So I figured I would rather be heartbroken by your side than alone." He closes his eyes and brings a hand to his head.
"Ah. That sounds pathetic, doesn't it?"
You smiled, "No. It's cute."
"Well, if you do like me, then I'm grateful. But don't think I'm just waiting for you to drop your clothes. I'd be happy if you were wearing a bunny costume."
The two of you share a laugh at that.
Your eyes find their way back to his as he stares at you dotingly. Your eyes begin flickering between his eyes and lips with little regard for the thirst you knew you were displaying towards him. He mirrored your actions, the magnetic pull becoming more intense with each moment.
He slowly brought a hand to cup your face, his thumb stroking your cheek gently. You closed your eyes and fell into him, the gentleness of his cushiony lips embracing you at once. You melted, allowing him to mold his lips to yours steadily more feverishly.
So used to taking the lead during these times, you weren't sure how to react when he experimentally tugged at your bottom lip with his teeth. You felt the heat radiating off of him and instantly wondered how much hotter it would feel without the bothersome barrier of clothing.
You climbed over his lap and sat pliantly, leaning into him without hesitation. He brushed his tongue against your lip, asking for permission. You parted your lips almost instantly, hoping to communicate your want for him as clearly as possible.
The gentle glide of his tongue against yours made you think lowly, the swarm of nerves in your stomach causing you to girate your hips against his blooming lap.
He broke away from the kiss, leaving you nearly whining in protest.
"(Y/n)-" He panted, "We can't."
"Why?" You inquired, slightly panting.
"I still feel guilty. I'm so upset with myself. Do I even deserve you?"
You bit your lip and nodded, the teeth he loved so much scraping against your moist muscles. You placed your hand over his and guided it to your lower back, pushing his hand south where he could grab ahold of your round backside.
You could feel him twitch under you, but you chose to ignore it, instead taking it as silent ammunition.
"Please touch me, Jae." You whispered, looking deep into his bottomless eyes.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
His eyes flutter shut as his grip tightens on your body, pulling you in close. The simple kiss slowly blossoms into something more intimate before the two of you. Before long, you've become a slave to his skilled tongue. As he savors the taste of your mouth, friction takes place. Heart aching, toes curling, breaths quickening.
"Fuck-" Grunts Jaebeom as a less-than-appropriate string of saliva stretches far between the two of you before it finally breaks, distance winning the game. Your lips part with a gross smack and the sound has you grinning mischievously.
"Shit," He curses under his breath, going to lift you off him, "I'm sorry," But you don't give way easily. You settle yourself deeper in his lap. You were there to stay.
"Why are you apologizing? Don't you wanna fuck me?"
"Yes," He admits without hesitation, releasing a breath of air as you assumed the thought brought him thrill.
"Make me yours," You ordered in a benign tone, grinning as his bewildered expression greeted you. You chewed on your bottom lip as he scoffed and poked your nose, calling you crazy.
"You're insane," He repeats, looking off in the distance as Nora paws at her cat tree absentmindedly. When she strangely rolls over on her stomach with her paws extended, Jaebeom grins and finds your eyes again.
"You fit in my world seamlessly. I love it when you're here."
"Me too," You mumbled as you pawed at his attire, leaving soft kisses along his neck and jawline. You felt him come alive again beneath you and knew instantly you had him right where you wanted.
"Now, where were we?"
𝐅𝐈𝐍. 𝐔𝐧𝐠𝐨𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐇𝐨𝐮𝐫 (𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘳𝘥 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘗𝘖𝘝)
"So... How do you usually do this?" Asks the diligent female, leaning back against the palms of her hands. She showcases her bare legs and half-naked state with no shame now that she's comfortable with herself and him.
Usually? You think I do this often?" He inquires in amusement, chuckling as pride nearly penetrates him.
She gives an unabashed shrug and tugs at her bottom lip with her teeth. "I don't know, I guess I figured you had a fair amount of experience."
She pretends not to notice when he doesn't attempt to confirm or deny her notion.
They share a heavy look as the moment of light-hearted banter banishes. He inches closer to her, hands hesitant as they crawl up the bed beside her, the weight of his body settling on his palms as he leers over her. She falls into submission like it's second nature, parting her legs to make room for her lover.
"You have such a beautiful body," He compliments, taking a moment to admire her. She grins and accepts his compliment softly, admiring his broad shoulders and narrow waist. "You too," She curls her fingers around his biceps and accepts his endearing kiss on her neck.
The silly grin on her face melts away when his lips linger, the soft press of his lips awakening things within her. Her face contorts into bliss when a playful nibble comes into play, the action so little yet so much for her.
She bites her lip as he continues slowly descending her body, goosebumps arising along the plane of her deep ebony skin.
Just as he gets close to her womanhood, she utters a small complaint, and he is instantly back where he was before. Beautiful features right in front of without the slightest look of urgency. He raises a brow and kisses her hand, asking her what's troubling her.
"I want to make you feel good too," She says breathlessly, climbing over him once again. He watches her as she descends, face nearing him at a delicious pace.
Her touch is feather-light as she runs her hands up and down his torso, feeling the firm muscles of his abdomen. Jaebeom thinks he could get off like this. Having her hands on him was so much more exciting than he'd imagined.
He grows accustomed to the sight of her in between his legs, face just a hunch away from his groin. He can grasp that she doesn't know what she's doing, but when she unties his loungewear and frees him without a moment's hesitation, he begins to second-guess whether-or-not this was the same skittish woman he felt on not too long ago.
She curiously admires the sight of it, taking in as many details as she can. She never thought she'd experience anything beyond colorful silicone, and the thought once made her sick to her stomach.
But now, as she laps her tongue at the tip of his weeping member, she finds she has no aversion whatsoever. It doesn't taste good, she notes. But the experience isn't any less enjoyable when he's groaning above her, fisting his hands in the sheets.
She wraps her lips around him sweetly and begins to bob her head moderately, granting him the feeling of her warm tongue. When she pulls off with an amusing pop and looks into his eyes as she licks the head, Jaebeom thinks he might pass out.
"Just like that, baby," He praises, a growl swimming around in the back of his throat as she continues her generous ministrations. It only eggs her on, her pace increasing as she does it with the perfect balance of vigor and languidness.
His head spins as he rests his head on the pillow below him, trying to keep his hips glued to the mattress. He doesn't want to make her uncomfortable; doesn't want her to feel rushed. But as the tight coil in his gut continues to loosen, he finds it hard not to jerk his hips upward and down her heated canal.
She releases him from her mouth and begins stroking him languidly, eyes falling on his wet member. Those faint veins bring texture to smooth skin. Those coarse black hairs at the base, opposite to the blushing tip that weeps precum from the peak. The way it spills down the length and adds to its wild and enticing appearance. It was so much more raw and sexually explicit than your average, state-of-the-art silicone.
The fascinating unprettiness of it as a whole has her whole body reacting delightfully.
He watches her become a beast before his very eyes. Suctioning and tasting, making obscene noises without a care in the world. She bobs her head more quickly now, her inner prowess making her eager to please her companion.
It's so good, he wants her to stop.
"(Y/n)-" He focuses on breathing. Wills himself not to spill prematurely. "I'm going to cum if you keep going-" He cuts himself off with a particularly loud groan when she takes a bold step in burying her face near his pelvis.
Her throat contracts around him, drowning him in pleasure just to take it away and dangle it above his head. It's an asshole move. Nothing more than a cunning, torturous reminder that he's so far from where he wants to be.
He succeeds at withholding his spew of masculine substance, watching with startled eyes as she moves from in between his legs with an enticing leer. "Where did you learn to do that?" He asks, wondering where this unabashed, effortlessly sensual being came from.
She just laughs and shrugs her pretty shoulders.
"What? Did you think I would be inept to basic oral sex?" She asks teasingly, sitting on his abdomen. He's distantly aware of the moisture that paints his bare skin beyond her panties, slightly prideful at the thought of her enjoying herself so greatly.
"That wasn't basic at all."
"I'm glad you think so."
The balance of harmless banter and heavy intentions is dizzying for Jaebeom. As most of the time, he preferred to get right down to business, quick to bury himself within his partner's body and mind for eternity. He isn't used to taking his time with someone. He doesn't realize how much he's abandoned genuinely enjoying himself.
Only she could make him do that. She had both the gas pedal and the breaks- choosing either to speed the pace of his heart or halt his inner doubts. Oh, how he loved this woman.
The thought stays embedded in his mind as he climbs back down her body, eyes raking up and down her exposed skin without the same skittish ways he'd once had. His rough palms gently came down on her breasts, palming the plush mounds of tissue. She bites her lip and allows him to do as he pleases, grateful for the physical attention.
He leans down to kiss where her breasts don't meet, the space between them as sweet as the rest of her. He looks to her with a smile as his hands take her in his arms, placing her in his lap as he felt the skin of her back. His fingers found the clasp of her bra with ease, one motion freeing the weight of her chest.
He slides it off and tosses it aside, watching as she leans back on her hands and allows him to see her. He feels the jump of excitement south and makes a move of laying her back down.
He has one task. One end goal, one thing he knows he must do. It's to please her. He'll spend whatever other opportunity he has to admire her being. For now, he kisses down her stomach, nose nudging against the rim of soft cotton panties.
"May I?" He asks, pressing a sweet kiss on her pelvic bone.
"Yes, please."
He slowly curls his forefingers under the rim of her panties, pulling them down her pretty legs. He watches, gaze heavy as more of her comes into his view, the fabric reaching her ankles as he pulls them past her feet and lets them join her bra on the floor.
Now completely exposed and at his mercy, it's only right that she squirms and languidly reaches down to cover herself. He smiles softly and places his hand over hers, reassuring her of her ability to knock him to his knees with her beauty.
When her muscles loosen and her hand lies back beside her, he kisses her lips thankfully. She pulls him down for another, almost wrapping her arms around his neck. When they part ways again, he's right back where he was before, face close enough to inhale.
The scent of her arousal makes his head spin as he hungrily eyes her, pushing her legs apart gently, revealing her sensual blossom, leaking with pungent honey. She covers her face, turning her head to the side as he inhales the scent of her with an animalistic growl.
"Territorial, are we?" She jokes shakily, trying to ignore the screaming urge to press his face into her. He grunts in response, having his first taste of her. She jolts in her spot, having used to nothing but her own fingers grazing her sensitive bud.
He closes his eyes and savors the animal taste of her, quickly taking a liking to it. He holds her thighs as he continues to graze her clit, tongue falling along the seam of her inner lips, feeling the gentle gush of her arousal. She reaches down and cards her fingers through his hair, lacking the same control he had before.
He doesn't mind this at all, pulling her hips closer to him. She doesn't hold herself, moaning freely in the open space as he runs his tongue along her anatomy. He becomes more feral steadily as her moans increase in volume, her body threatening him in every language.
"Please-" She whimpers, unsure if she wants more or less of what he's giving her.
"Hm?" He hums, looking at her with eyes of the night, teasing and serious at once.
"I need you," She croons, "Inside."
He reluctantly moves from in between her legs, admiring her spread as the haze of lust nearly clouds his judgment. He's never wanted to be within someone so terribly in his life. The thought that she just might allow it if he's kind enough, gentle enough, sets his head on fire.
He places his palm on her pointed knee as he positioned himself before her, holding himself with his opposite hand. He strokes himself in preparation, never failing to lock eyes with her. Even on the brink of arousal, he's still as gentle and considerate as ever. With previous events in mind, he makes sure to get every once of her consent.
"Are you sure you want to do this, jagi? I don't know if we can go back to being friends after this."
Her eyes pop open as she leans up on her forearm, using her ankle to hook him in close, their faces inches apart as she looks into his eyes closely. "Then we won't. I want you, Beomie. You just need to make me yours," She instructs, brushing along his torso until she reaches his member. She brushes his fingers aside, replacing them with her own.
He bites his lip, hissing as her soft hand strokes him softly, grinding into her hand gently.
She locks eyes with him as she licks her palm and returns it to him, spreading the slickness along his shaft evenly. She cunningly cocks her head to the side, that feminine leer on her face as she grabs him a bit more firmly, guiding him inside her slowly. "Won't you?" She asks.
"Will you make me yours, Jaebeom?"
He leans close and molds his lips onto hers once again, letting her pull him in with her legs. When he breaches her, feeling the slight resistance of muscle soon suck him in, both of them stutter in the kiss, taking a moment to breathe as only the tip makes it inside.
When they break away, she lies back down and watches him as he holds her legs open, burying more of himself inside of her. Her eyes glaze over with lust, a pleased moan pushing past her lips as she feels the pleasant stretch of girth.
Their hips meet finally, her hips stilling as he presses into a spot that feels uncomfortably good.
He steadies himself with a hand against the bed, eyes pinching shut as he waits for her to adjust. When she gives him the okay to continue, he reaches for her hands, eyes breaking contact as he watches himself slide out of her, the wetness of her glazing him nicely.
Her smooth walls suck him in as he advances forward, grounded by her soft hands and ankles. He steadily picks up the pace, eyes finding hers once again. One of her hands free itself from him, coming up to pull him in for another kiss.
The drag of him against her velvety cave was becoming delicious as he found a moderate pace, the feeling so snug and wet he didn't want to stop. He adjusted angles, pulling back and angling up, down, and straight in. One particular angle has her gasping loudly, her body jolting as she squeezes his hand. "Again," She moans, "Please."
He repeats that specific motion, watching as her face melts in pleasure, lips parting and eyes closing as she falls against the bed, pleasured cries flowing freely as Jaebeom follows along, groaning as she begs him to speed up.
"You're so beautiful, baby. Feel so amazing around me."
She moans at the sound of his voice, the quiet racket of the bedsprings, her natural lubricant, and her very own voice, pleasure penetrating her body at every angle.
He leans over her, face burying itself in her neck. She can hear every grunt of pleasure, every breath, and curse of pleasure he mutters as he slams his hips into hers. Her legs cross around his waist, nails scraping along his back.
One particularly hard thrust has her head nearly hitting the headboard, a scream leaving her as he crashes against her g-spot in a way that's too much to handle. She shivers and shakes, releasing then and there around him.
The vice grip of her walls has him following along, warmth blooming on her pelvis as he shakily calls her name for the first time that night.
"Mine forever?"
A small laugh and a warm kiss,
"Forever yours."
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅
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