...
His arms felt like a safe haven to her. It was a feeling odd yet so welcoming that she couldn't help but reciprocate the embrace.
"You've been through a lot, Haneul. I'm sorry you had to go through all that. You don't deserve it, " San spoke, softly. His voice was peaceful in the still of the night.
"How can you be so sure? What if I actually did deserve it?" Her voice came out like a whisper. She doubted herself like that from time to time. And Byeol would threaten to slap her every time she did.
"No you don't. Don't ever say that. We haven't been friends for long but I know you enough to say that you are a wonderful person. And that you deserved none of that." San spoke as he pulled away from the embrace. He felt reluctant but did so anyway.
"You know, they never really were your friends. Because if they were, they wouldn't have left you like that. Real friends don't leave, ever." San added.
Haneul let out a small sigh. "You know what terrifies me the most?"
"And what is that?" San asked.
"The look in Bomi's eyes that day. We used to be such good friends and understood each other. But within split seconds, she became a stranger. Just like that. I know I made mistakes but trust me, I regretted every single one of them. If I ever hurt them in any way, I always apologized first even if they were wrong. I thought that they would forget about it but no, I was too naive to believe that," Haneul spoke as she looked into the distance.
San didn't say anything and just simply stared at her. His eyes never once left her as she spoke without stopping, pouring out all the emotions that was deep within for a long time. His gaze was gentle like the spring breeze which comforts you.
At that moment, San wanted to do anything and everything for the chaos in her little world to end. He felt angry. Angry at the audacity of the people who broke her. Humans are the best creatures to exist but they could be just as cruel. He wanted to break the faces of every person who even dared to bend so much as a single strand of her hair.
"You know, this might seem like a very minor matter. But the fear, the trauma that I developed, caused me to push away so many people. Didn't let anyone get too close. Every time someone would approach me and I would get scared. Scared that they might do the same things to me. All over again. That's why I don't have friends aside from you guys." She finished.
"No, it's not minor," San said.
"You really think so?" Haneul asked.
San nodded. "It's okay, Haneul. It's okay to be not okay. What you went through might not be like the usual troubles among friends. But that doesn't necessarily mean it's nothing. Everyone fights their own kind of battles." He paused a bit and then spoke again.
"You have to let this go, Haneul. You can't let them get to you like that. Because simply, you don't deserve it. Making mistakes aren't wrong. And the fact that you admit to making them in the first place only proves that you didn't have any intention to hurt them on purpose. They just didn't have the heart to forgive you.
"Like I said before, They never were your friends. If they were, then they would've stuck with you, would've understood you. Like Byeol, Haru and Bom. And you weren't naive. You believed in them, you were a true friend. It's a shame that they couldn't see how much of a genuine person you were. It's their loss, not yours." San finished. He held her shoulders and made her face him. Haneul was looking down the whole time he talked.
"And I believe in you. I believe that you can overcome this, " San spoke as he locked eyes with her. "No, scratch that. You will overcome this. I'll make sure that you do." He finished and looked down at his wrist to see the time.
Haneul was shocked, almost baffled at how brilliantly his words made her feel good. No one ever spoke to her like that. His whole presence, his aura felt like a protective shield around her. It was like how a cup of hot chocolate would pour down your throat, creating a warm feeling as it went into the stomach. San had thought seeing her expression that she might not have liked what he said. And a sudden feeling of guilt washed over him, thinking what if it just worsened her state.
They fell into a comfortable silence for a while until Haneul spoke up.
"You're right. You're absolutely right, " Haneul shook her head a little. "I can't let them get to me. I can't let them win. I have to get over this and I will. Don't worry too much. If can handle all those stupid criminals, I can deal with this trauma too."
San heaved a sigh of relief. His suspicions weren't true. A small smile made it's place on his lips as he saw her face soften. He was happy to see her like this. He didn't want her to suffer for something she didn't do. Heck, he didn't want her to suffer at all.
Everyone just saw her face. Not the emotions that would flow in her. She had been broken, several times. But that somehow only made her strong. He wanted to by her side, making her even more stronger. She was strong enough but San could see the soft inside. She was easily hurt from harsh world and San wanted to shield her from those.
"Look, the lights are all out." San pointed at the street lights and Haneul saw that all of them were turned off.
"Woah, I thought it was only the school, " she looked around, "but I guess they turned the lights off for the whole city." Almost the whole city could be seen from the park and the lights were all off.
"Come on. Let's make a wish! They said might come true," Haneul exclaimed. San chuckled softly as he saw her shut her eyes tight and clasp her hands together to make a wish. San to closed her eyes and smiled as he proceeded to make a wish.
They opened their eyes and lights were back on. Haneul looked around and saw the street lights too were back on and it wasn't dark anymore.
She glanced at San and saw that he was smiling. "What did you wish for huh? You're smiling like an idiot, " Her voice had a hint of tease and San just laughed in response and waved his hands as though it's nothing important.
"What is it, huh? Come on tell me! Is it something weird? It is, isn't it?" Haneul giggled, pointing an accusing finger at him. San pushed that finger away and spoke.
"No, it's not. And wishes don't come true if you say it out loud." He said and she huffed. "What did you wish for then?"
"Why are you asking that now? Wishes don't come true if you say them out loud, " she mimicked him and kept on teasing. San chuckled at her cute reaction and stood up from the bench.
"Come on now. We gotta get going. It's midnight and we don't wanna be anymore late. I'll drop you off, " San said as he offered his hand to help her up. She took his hand sluggishly and stood up. She didn't wanna leave just yet but her mom would worry if she's too late.
San stuffed his hands deep inside the pockets of his jeans as he walked a little slowly, falling behind her. He looked at her and wondered how people could hurt such a delicate soul like hers. She's the kind of person who saw the good in everyone. She had a genuine heart and her eyes would light up at the sight of the simplest of things. He loved that. Whenever she would smile, her eyes would become crescents and he would always find himself unconsciously mirroring her expression.
The wind was blowing making the petals rain from the trees and ruffling her hair in the process. Her hair wasn't straight like how it would be usually. It had soft waves this time, he noticed and it looked beautiful in eyes. She was a treasure that he would like to protect from the cruelty of the world, forever.
San knew he felt something for Haneul but was unsure of how deep.it was. All he knew is that he wanted to be with her, there for her, in happy and sad times. He wanted to give her the entire world and free her from her inner demons and the ones that wanted to hurt her. He wanted to be someone who could be a home to her.
From the moment he had finally found her in the cafeteria of the prosecutor's office. San had never felt like this before. He closed his eyes for a brief moment and smiled to himself. In that moment, all he could wonder is how the universe had enabled everything to fall in place.
And like how daylight comes after a chilly night, San had indeed fallen in love, just like that.
-
A/N:
First of all, I'm sorry. I know I promised to update the day after I published chapter 15 and I didn't. Some stuff came up and also, I'm going through writer's block and GOSH it's freaking annoying. But don't worry, I'm definitely not abandoning this ff :D
Again, thank you for giving my work a chance. Thank you for reading this and wasting your time :V
Hehe
Till next time<3
Word count: 1600