"Do you hear that?" Bora asked her wife who replied with a blink of her eyes.
"Yeah...?"
"Seems to be coming from here," Bora pursed her lips as she walked to the pile of trash on the alley beside their house.
The sound was becoming louder, for sure.
"Si, help me with these," Bora began.
"...Are you telling me to touch these-,"
"Yes,"
"Okay,"
They rummaged through the pile of trash until they came upon a box with a cloth protruding from the slight opening.
The two singled the box out and to their surprise, the sound was coming from inside it.
They mustered up their courage and flipped open the box's covers. Only to reveal a very big surprise.
Inside, a month old baby lay as he cried. Bora slowly took the baby in her arms. On the baby's cloth was a name sewn in yellow, cursive letters.
"PHIL"
"Bora," Siyeon began, shocked with the events occurring.
"Si, can we keep him?" Bora looked at her lover, mouth open and expectant for a positive answer.
"But can we give him the best life?"
"Of course,"Bora smiled,"We both know we can,"
Siyeon nodded in approval,"Let's keep him then,"
The two looked at the baby with smiles on their faces as they walked inside the small house Siyeon bought years ago.
~~~
A few years later, Siyeon managed to upgrade her own place where Bora and Phil also resided at. Turning it into a spacious, child friendly two-storey building.
Bora eventually quit her job and dream to care for Phil, leaving Siyeon to be the only one working for the family. But she didn't mind, it motivated her to work harder to give her family the best life they could have.
Which meant that she had the stress from work and the constant anxiety from providing for her family.
It was late night, Siyeon had to work overtime. Again. She stepped foot outside the company building and immediately headed for the convenience store, buying a cup of instant noodles the moment she stepped in. But something else caught her eye.
She was seeing a therapist for the past few years regarding her trauma which came with dark thoughts. She remembered something the therapist said in their recent sessions.
"Look for a new hobby. That will help distract you from your thoughts,"
Siyeon bit her lip, she was gonna go for it.
"A pack of those, please,"
After paying, she slid the pack of whatever that was inside her pocket as she prepared her instant noodles.
A few minutes later, she began eating and slurping and she savored its meaty taste.
She dumped the trash right after eating as she pulled out the pack from her pocket.
And that was when Siyeon first started smoking.
~~~
Weeks passed and Siyeon brought her new smoking habits home, much to Bora's shock.
She cautiously watched the woman as she smoked, making sure to keep Phil away from her when she does smoke.
Soon enough, these new unhealthy habits took a toll on Bora. She started feeling anxious about their health she started to think about several "what-if" scenarios as she lay in bed.
It didn't take long for the sweet scent of Siyeon's pillows to be replaced by the acrid scent of filthy smoke.
It was then that she noticed how odd Bora was behaving. Her big, cheerful smile that always brightened her day got replaced with anxious, half-smiles.
Every time she asked if something was wrong, Bora would shake her head and fake a smile. Saying that it was nothing.
But Siyeon knew that there was something.
Siyeon tried to shower her with affection, hugs and constant kisses but the woman never changed. She took them to malls and mini vacations but Bora still stayed the same.
"Si," Bora began, her eyes averting.
Siyeon could see how uncomfortable the woman looked, so she took Bora's tiny hand in hers and softly looked at her in the eyes.
"Can you please smoke outside?" Bora smiled, her brow furrowing,"I mean, i've been real anxious lately so...,"
"I can try," Siyeon nodded as she apologized for causing trouble.
"I don't have anyone else but you and Phil," Bora laughed dryly,"I don't have friends, you guys are my everything,"
Siyeon followed and for the next few weeks, smoked outside. But it only lasted for so long she eventually went back to smoking everywhere, which led to Bora constantly reminding her to smoke outside.
"Si," Bora started again,"Please. For our health and saf--,"
"Bora this is helping me cope with the stress," Siyeon replied,"Let me do this wherever I want,"
"But Si, think about us too," Bora pleaded as she chewed on her lip.
"We are NOT having this conversation again, Bora,"
Defeated, Bora's shoulders slumped as she retreated into their bedroom.
~~~
"Bora how many times do I have to tell you?" Siyeon snarled, "Let. Me. Do. This. The. Way. I. Want. To. ,"
"Okay love," Bora smiled, the smile not reaching her eyes,"I'm sorry,"
~~~
"When will you shut up?" Siyeon stared.
"Sorry, sorry, I won't say anything anymore,"
~~~
Siyeon sat at the sofa thinking about the events in the past days. She felt bad for snapping at Bora when all she did was worry about their health. Bora loved Siyeon, and she was well aware of that.
And so she decided to do something about it. Something Bora and Phil would really love.
Something different.
It was hot and Phil expressed the desire to go and try swimming for the first time, so Siyeon went and booked a private pool just for the three of them.
The tall woman went out after booking the pool and she headed to a flower shop. She picked Bora's favorite flowers and carried them in her arms as she drove back home.
It was nighttime when Siyeon arrived at their house. Giddy, she took the bouquet of flowers in her arms as she closed the door. Making sure to lock it before she excitedly walked up to their gates.
She couldn't wait to see Bora's expression and reaction to her romantic surprise. Siyeon also decided to get help in quitting her unhealthy addiction.
But she was stopped right in front of their front porch.
There stood Bora enveloped in the arms of an unidentified woman. The woman was wearing a mask and a cap which covered her face.
Siyeon froze at the sight and her heart broke into a million pieces when she looked at her lover snuggle further into the woman's arms.
"I believe in you, Bora," The woman said. And despite the mask, Siyeon could see the smile on her lips.
"Thank you," Bora replied as she detached herself from the hug, a genuine smile on her face.
The woman bid her farewell as she turned to walk away, leading to Siyeon hiding behind a tall plant until the coast was clear.
"Hi...?" Siyeon awkwardly waved as she stepped out from her hiding spot.
Bora's gaze met Siyeon's, and the woman knew what the latter was thinking.
"Si, no-,"
"For you," Siyeon walked up to her, her knees trembling and weak as she handed the flowers over.
"I- thank you," Bora smiled, but it quickly turned into a frown when Siyeon stormed past her and into the house.
"Si, wait!" Clutching the flowers with both hands, she ran after the woman.
"Si, it's not what you think," Bora swallowed as she looked at a trembling Siyeon.
"So this is why you were being distant," Siyeon laughed, tears on her eyes,"You could've just told me,"
"Si, no," Bora explained,"It's not what you think!"
"You were so happy with her," Siyeon shook her head,"You wouldn't even bat an eye at me,"
"Si-,"
"I wanted to correct my wrongs, Bora," She sobbed,"I'm a crappy lover, I know,"
"But you didn't have to cheat on me,"
"Si, no!" Bora shook her head as she took the woman's hands in hers,"I wasn't cheating on you. Si, I would NEVER cheat on you,"
"Explain yourself then," Siyeon smiled, pain evident on her face,"What were you doing?"
"Look," Bora began,"I'm seeing someone,"
Siyeon burst into laughter upon hearing Bora's explanation.
"So you're seeing someone," Siyeon nodded as she shook her head,"I can't believe this,"
Bora's eyes widened as the sudden realization hit her.
"Wait- no!" She panicked,"That wasn't what I meant!"
"Uh huh," Siyeon nodded, her tears getting uncontrollable,"I'm done,"
"A therapist, Siyeon!" Bora yelled as she chased after her.
"I'm not eating dinner tonight," Siyeon smiled as she shut the door in her face.
"Si? Si! Please believe me. She was a therapist i've been going to!" Bora cried as she lightly banged on the door,"Si? Si, please believe me. I love you. You're my everything, Si. I would never leave you,"
Silence.
"Si, please believe me,"
~~~
Time passed by and dinner was laid out on the table. Bora watched Phil eat by himself for the first time with a small smile on her face.
"Mom, whew's mommy Si?"
"She's tired, dear," Bora replied, masking her pain with a small smile.
Phil continued to eat until he ate every last bite there is. Bora then took him to his future bedroom, where she would sleep for the night.
"This is my woom??" Phil asked, smiling.
"Yup," Bora replied, pinching Phil's cheeks,"And mommy's gonna sleep beside you tonight,"
"Yay!"
~~~
Days passed and Siyeon never talked to her nor ate her cooked dishes. One late night, she sat in front of the dining table as she waited for Siyeon to arrive home.
Siyeon would never talk to her, but she wanted to see at least a glimpse of her face.
The door then opened, revealing Siyeon with swollen eyes.
"Love...," Bora began, but her eyes quickly darted to the table as Siyeon threw a document to her direction.
"I want a divorce,"
"What?"
"I said I want a divorce,"
"Si, wait...," Bora whispered, tears clouding her vision once again,"This is a huge misunderstanding...,"
"I can't trust you anymore," Siyeon responded, her face showing no signs of emotion,"I want a divorce,"
"And i'm taking Phil with me,"
Bora's jaw dropped as she succumbed to miserable sobs. She shook her head again and again, hoping to change Siyeon's mind.
"I can't be happy with you anymore," Siyeon whispered,"Well, i'm not happy with you anymore,"
Bora bit her fingers as she took the pen,"Do you still love me, at least?"
"I can't see myself loving a cheater,"
"Si, I didn't-,"
"Save it,"
Bora's sobs grew even messier as she read the documents.
"Would you be happier if I was out of your life?" Bora asked.
Siyeon replied with a nod,"I don't want you anywhere near me anymore. My therapist also said that its bad for me,"
"I never cheated on you, Si," Bora cried,"Are you su-,"
"Still going with that BS?" Siyeon raised an eyebrow.
Bora shook her head as she hovered the pen over the blank which required her signature.
She didn't want to give Phil up.
She didn't want to leave Siyeon.
But Siyeon's mental health would worsen if she stayed.
But Phil wouldn't have the best life he deserved if she took him from her.
And so with swollen eyes and tear stained cheeks, she signed the document.
"Thank you," Siyeon bowed as she placed a huge paper bag on the table,"I bought this weeks ago for our special day,"
"It was stocked in my car," Siyeon added,"But that special day isn't happening anymore so here you go,"
"Si," Bora cried as she threw herself at the wolf. Instantly wrapping her arms around the woman's waist as she muffled her sobs with her shirt.
"Bora, no," Siyeon sighed.
It was a sacrifice that had to be made.
For the sake of her world, her everything.
For Siyeon.
For Phil.
Bora detached herself from the hug and opened the present.
A huge elephant plushy with a baby elephant stuck to it. It was as tall as half of Bora's body, and the quality was excellent.
It was definitely expensive.
Siyeon walked back to her now solo bedroom and waited for Bora to leave.
The woman grabbed all her stuff from Siyeon's bedroom and packed a few to take with her. She left the present and her other elephant plushies behind.
She then took a piece of paper and wrote three, last words with a pen. And then she left.
"I love you,"
~~~
Bora woke up, her head spinning as she tried to clear her clouded vision. She slowly sat up, her surroundings unfamiliar as panic began to settle in.
The room definitely did not look like anywhere inside Siyeon's house.
Just as she was about to bolt through the window, a familiar figure entered.
"Oh, you're finally awake,"
It was her therapist.
"Minji?!"