"Senior year, baby!" Cassie shouted as she drove us to school, the top of the car down as we raced down the street. "Woo-hoo!"
I slumped down in my seat to ignore the stares people were giving us, and Leslie didn't even seem to care at all as she continued to read her book in the back seat. I didn't know if she just didn't care or if she just wasn't listening.
"Cassie, shut up," I snapped at my best friend as she continued shouting. "Someone's going to shoot us!"
She cackled as she continued to drive, but luckily stopped shouting as we continued on our way to school. I was glad that she was now keeping her mouth shut, because I definitely did not need to be attacked right before the first day of my senior year.
When she parked the car and the three of us got out, I didn't really know what to do. I didn't want to step inside the school where everything had started. I just wanted to go home and wait for Blake to wake up.
I tugged on a few of my short ringlets as I trailed behind Leslie and Cassie. It was strange, being back at this place for a brand new year. Sean was gone, and so was Elias. Not seeing the two of them around was just going to be so weird.
Cassie and Leslie entered the school as if it was no big deal at all, and to them, I knew it wasn't. They had no reason to be scared of returning to this place. Both of their boyfriends were alive and well, while mine was near death and schizophrenic. No one was going to stare at them unless they were with me.
Just like I had been expecting, eyes immediately moved to me the second I stepped inside. I could have sworn the part of the hallway I was in grew quiet. I said nothing, and both Leslie and Cassie stopped dead in their tracks.
"Do you want me to take a picture?" Cassie snapped at everyone who was staring. "It lasts a hell of a lot longer."
This caused people to scatter away, and I thanked Cassie quietly as we continued on to wherever she was taking me. As much as I loved being alone, I was thankful for having friends that really did care about me.
"It's strange, not having Sean here," Leslie commented as we continued through the halls, Cassie glaring at anyone who dare look at me. "At this time last year, he was draped all over Leah. Now, he's in college. It's just... weird."
I didn't say anything, but I agreed. Sean might have been really close by, but it felt like he was thousands of miles away. I almost expected him to just pop up out of nowhere like he used to do all the time.
The bell rang then, and Cassie looked down at the time on her phone and cursed. "Damn it, I didn't know it was this late. I guess we'll have to meet up together at lunch."
Leslie and I both nodded, and I couldn't help but think of both Thomas and Jane. They were most likely going to sit in the same spot as we did last year, and I wondered if I'd be able to handle sitting there with them. If I couldn't, I would just sit with Leslie, Derrick, and Cassie at my old table, but I really would have liked to sit with Thomas and Jane as well...
I had English first period, and I couldn't help but feel kind of upset over the thought of this class. Not only did I already miss having Mrs. Sparks as my teacher, but Blake had been in my English class the year before. It was what brought Blake and me together. But now...
I had to stop thinking about him before I went completely nuts. Now that I was in school, I was going to have to focus on my grades and actually care about them. I couldn't act like Blake was the only thing I cared about.
I took a random seat in the back in my new classroom, not caring who was staring at me. I didn't have Cassie to protect me here, so I was going to have to deal with it. It honestly didn't even bother me that much because I was expecting it.
I couldn't help but notice the girl sitting right next to me staring right at me, and it was even worse than how everyone else had been staring all day. I wanted to say something to her, but I didn't know what I could say to someone who was staring at me like a crazy person.
"I remember you!" the girl suddenly blurted, causing me to jump in surprise. "I saw you in the hospital the first time I visited Dr. Carlisle! He talks about you and your boyfriend a lot! You're Leah! And oh, I'm Jaz!"
I chuckled nervously, not knowing what I was supposed to say to this girl. Now I remembered how I had seen her in the hospital. She was schizophrenic like Blake, but she was definitely a lot more outgoing than he was. I didn't know how to react to someone like this.
"Sorry, sorry," she laughed now, brushing out her hair with her fingers a few times. "I'm probably freaking you out, right? Sorry, I don't mean to. I'm just excited that I saw someone I knew..."
"It's fine," I assured, and I knew that I shouldn't judge this girl because she was essentially just like Blake. "I was just not expecting anyone to talk to me, that's all."
Jaz smiled at me, and I forced myself to smile right back at her. She seemed like a nice girl, so there wasn't any reason to not be nice back to her.
The rest of the day went by slowly, just like I was expecting it to. I was being stared at almost everywhere I went, and I visited Mrs. Sparks at lunch instead of sitting with any of my friends. I just couldn't be around that many people in the cafeteria, where Cassie sat, and I couldn't be in the place where Blake used to be every day, which was where Thomas and Jane sat at.
I just wanted to go home. Or better yet, the hospital with Blake. I needed him with me.
Drama was the one class that I didn't dread going to, and it was the last period of the day. I had taken the class in my freshman and sophomore year, but decided to take a break from it during junior year. I knew that it was going to be weird coming back.
"Leah!" Mr. Summers called out when he saw me, and I jumped in surprise at the sound of his voice. "I was surprised when I saw you on my attendance list! I thought you were done taking drama after your sophomore year!"
I forced a laugh, not even knowing why I decided to take the class again. When I signed up for my electives for junior year, I decided to take a break from drama because it just got too stressful for me. So I took art instead, and it just so happened to be one of the classes that I had had with Blake.
But for senior year, I didn't want to have a class that reminded me of Blake, so I decided to take drama again and just forget about art. I wasn't that great of an artist anyway, so it wasn't like I was upset about no longer taking the class.
"I just... thought it was time to come back," I merely shrugged to my drama teacher in response.
"That's great, that's great," he grinned now as he shooed me toward the seats in the theater. "You were missed. It was hard for me to pick the lead last year because I've always counted on you as the role."
I forced a smile at him as I sat down a few rows back. In my freshman and sophomore year, I had been the lead or one of the leads in both plays. Back then, it made me feel great that I was so important, but now all I could think about was how... unimportant it really was.
When I glanced back over to the entrance of the theater, I noticed a girl walking in by herself. This girl looked timid and shy, and I couldn't help but feel kind of bad for her. She was obviously new, and even though I had never been the new kid, I knew it must have sucked going to a school where you knew no one.
She ended up sitting right behind me, but I wasn't about to turn around to talk to her. If this had been a year before, I would have totally turned around and talked to her. But now, I didn't want to talk to anyone. Not even my friends. But there was no way I was going to get out of interacting with them...
When Cassie entered the theater, she immediately locked eyes with me and made her way over. I was impressed that she found me so easily, but that didn't mean I was happy with her. It'd be nice to just be left alone for a little while after spending so much time around other people.
"Hello," Cassie practically sang as she plopped down in the seat next to me. "Thanks for talking me into taking this class with you. I'm actually really excited. I haven't taken drama since freshman year and I almost forgot how much fun it was."
I tried to smile at her, and I guessed it looked believable because she smiled right back at me. We then turned back toward the front of the theater once the late bell rang.
"Welcome to drama!" Mr. Summers greeted in his enthusiastic tone of his. "As all of you probably know, I'm Mr. Summers and I will obviously be your drama teacher this year!"
Before he could continue on, the door opened and in stepped a blonde boy. All the girls suddenly perked up while all I could do was stare at him as if he was a crazy person.
"Sorry I'm late, Summers," this boy apologized lazily, making his way through the row in front of me as he spoke to our teacher. "My teacher from the last period was a total bitch and kept us in late after the bell."
Mr. Summers merely rolled his eyes at the boy. "Welcome back, Christian."
My eyebrows furrowed as I watched this boy make his way to the seat in front of me. Cassie was practically swooning in her seat when I turned back toward her and asked, "Who's that guy?"
"You don't know Christian Peterson?" she asked as is I was crazy, and she nearly fell out of her seat when I shook my head. "I guess you didn't have any classes with him last year then. Well, he was a new student at the beginning of the year last year, like Blake was. He was in my English class and he's an amazing actor."
I was about to remind Cassie that she had a boyfriend, but I then remembered how she acted this way toward nearly every attractive guy she ever came into contact with. Sean definitely didn't have anything to worry about.
"You're Leah Burkley," this Christian guy said to me the second he sat down in the seat in front of me. "I've heard about you."
Of course he did. Everyone heard about me. It used to be because I was the girl Sean was pursuing, but now it was because my schizophrenic boyfriend jumped off a bridge and was now in a coma.
"You were the lead in both your freshman and sophomore year," Christian continued now, and this surprised me greatly. That was what he heard about me? That I had been the lead in the two plays? "I'm sure it'll be awesome acting with you this year."
Without even realizing it, I actually smiled at him. It was the first time in fourth months that I had actually smiled for real, and even I was shocked. Cassie stared at me as if she didn't even know who I was, but Christian didn't even notice that anything was off.
"I bet it'll be awesome acting with you, too," was all I was able to say, still in shock.
I didn't know why this made me smile. I didn't know why this made me feel so good. Maybe it was because, even with the depressing aura floating all around me, Christian was still acting nice toward me. And even though I was sure he heard about everything with Blake, he didn't even mention it.
Christian turned back around to hear what Mr. Summers was saying, but Cassie was just staring at me. I tried to ignore her, but her gaze was just too damn strong.
"What?" I whispered harshly, not even meaning to do so.
She blinked. "You smiled."
I was the one to blink now. "Yeah..."
"You haven't smiled since Blake jumped off the bridge," she giggled, scooting closer to me in her seat now. "I mean, you've smiled, but it's obviously been forced. But just now, you actually smiled and you didn't have to force it."
I glared at her for catching me. "How would you know?"
This only made Cassie grin even more, which I should have been expecting with the way I was acting. I was acting defensive and as if I was in denial, and that only made Cassie surer of what she was thinking.
"You like Christian."
"What?"
She squealed under her breath, since she knew that she couldn't exactly be loud right then since we were still in class and Christian was right in front of us. She bounced her knees up and down, and I only stared at her as if she was insane, which she really might have been.
"Cassie," a new voice now said, and I jumped before turning toward Mr. Summers, who had been the one that had spoken. "I'm sure the rest of the class would love to know what you and Leah are talking about."
"Boys," Cassie answered simply, causing me to nearly choke on air. "We're talking about cute boys."
Mr. Summers rolled his eyes at us, now continuing to talk to the class about what he was expecting and such. I tried to listen to what he was saying, but Cassie just wasn't going to give up yet.
"It's okay if you like him, Leah," she tried to assure, even though I didn't need any assurance. "Or if you just think he's attractive. I mean, Blake's been gone for four months, and you don't know if he's going to come back or not. Maybe it'd be best if you moved on."
"No," I snapped before she could continue, and it seemed to shock her because she jumped back a little. "I'm not moving on until I know for a fact that Blake isn't going to come back. Even then I'm not going to be able to move on. I'll just have to continue on with my life and try to love someone else. I'll always love Blake."
Cassie frowned. "I never said you weren't."
She said nothing more, and the two of us now listened to whatever Mr. Summers was talking about. He informed us on how he hadn't decided on what play we were going to be doing, but he'd decide and tell us in the next week or two, and it might be even longer if he couldn't find one he thought would be really good for the class.
Once class was over, I said goodbye to Cassie and then bolted right out of the classroom and to my locker. Though she had been my ride to school, I wasn't planning on letting her drive me back home after school. I was going to take a bus to the hospital and visit Blake, and then take another bus home.
I got to my locker and pulled a few things out and pushed a few things in. I pulled the last book I needed out of my locker before shutting it and turning toward the front of the school, my gaze directed to the ground. Before I could even get that far from my locker, I ended up ramming right into someone.
"I'm so sorry!" the person I ran into gasped, suddenly jumping back as I dropped all the books I held in my hands. "Oh, I'm really sorry!"
I let out a sigh, crouching down on the floor to pick my things up. The girl I had run into also crouched down as well, picking up my things and handing them to me now.
I looked up at this girl to see that she was in my drama class, and she looked really scared over the fact that she had just run into me. She shakily handed me my books and papers, and I couldn't help but stare at her as if she was insane. What was her problem?
"Um... are you okay?" I asked her once all of my things were back in my arms and she continued shaking.
"I'm... I'm fine," she answered, even though I was pretty sure that wasn't the truth at all. "I'm sorry, it's just... you're Leah Burkley."
I blinked at her now, not expecting for this girl to know who I was. Sure, Mr. Summers went through attendance during the last period, but he went by my name quickly, just like he did with everyone else's. I had no idea why she'd notice me out of everyone else in the class.
"Um..." was all I was able to say.
"I, um... heard about you a lot today," this girl explained now, and it almost made me roll my eyes. Of course people were talking about me. I should have expected as much from the people I went to school with. "People were talking about how you used to be popular but now you're depressing and scary."
I knew I was going to be the talk of the school the second I stepped inside. I went from the popular girl with tons of friends to the weird outcast the second I realized I was falling in love with Blake. And as much as I missed being popular, I wouldn't give Blake up for it.
"You don't have to be scared of me," I informed her now, even though my monotone voice said differently. "I'm not scary. Depressed, maybe, but definitely not scary. It's not like I'm going to cast a spell on you or anything."
This girl smiled slightly, and I forced myself to smile right back at her. There was no need to be rude when this girl was already terrified.
"I'm Ramona, by the way," she introduced now, holding her hand out for me to take. Not wanting to be mean, I shook her hand. "But I go by Mona. You're in my drama class, aren't you?"
I nodded. "Yeah, I am."
Her eyes lit up now. "And you're in my math class!"
I hadn't even noticed her in my math class, so I only nodded to agree with her. Before she could say anything else to me, I quickly dismissed myself so I wouldn't miss the bus I was planning on taking. I was already late, so there was a chance I'd miss it anyway.
I nearly ran all the way to the bus stop once I was far enough away from the school that no one would see me. The bus was there, and I was sure I was going to make it, but just as I was about to get to it, the doors closed and it rolled away.
"Damn it," I cursed, plopping down on the bench and scuffing at the ground with the heel of my shoe.
I guess there wasn't a point in visiting him that day, since the next bus wasn't going to come until much later so I wouldn't be able to get home until really late, which wouldn't be fun. Going into Blake's empty apartment during the day was bad enough; during nighttime scared me just as much as it upset me.
When someone stepped in front of me, my head immediately snapped up to look at them. I almost flailed my arms around, thinking it was someone who was going to attack me, but I then let out a relieved breath when I saw who it really was.
"You don't look happy," Sean frowned. "Should I be surprised?"
I should have known I'd run into him. The bus stop was right by his school.
I sighed, scooting over on the bench now so there'd be enough room for him to sit next to me. He sat, and neither of us said anything to each other. I didn't know what I was supposed to say, and Sean seemed to be trying to decide what he could say.
"I know I'm being ridiculous," I cut off right when he opened his mouth to speak, not even looking in his direction as I continued to watch the passing cars in the street. "I know I've been acting ridiculous for the past four months. I've tried getting over it and I just can't."
Sean leaned back into the bench now. "I don't expect you to get over it," he shrugged. "I just wish you'd be happier. I know you're sad that Blake is still in the coma, but there are still other things going on in your life. You have to focus on your schoolwork, and you have friends and family. It's not the end of the world."
And I knew that. I hated feeling this way; I hated feeling so depressed. I just wished Blake would wake up.
"Let me drive you home," Sean suggested now, jabbing his thumb over his shoulder at his car that was across the street. "I don't think today is the right day to go see Blake. What if I go with you tomorrow or another time? How does that sound?"
I told myself now to cry. It would be stupid to cry just because he offered something to me. So I simply nodded, getting up off the bench and making my way to his car with him. I thanked him as he drove me back to Blake's apartment, but then I also thanked him in my head for putting up with me after everything that I had put him through. I honestly didn't deserve it.
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Blake will wake up in either the third or the fourth chapter, depending on how long what I'm planning on happening in the third chapter takes...
New characters! I'm excited for them! :3
This chapter would have been a lot longer if I didn't have to go to bed. -___- It's late, and if I don't go to bed now, I'm never going to be able to wake up in the morning for school.
And thank you to everyone who voted on Our Song! It made it to the second round of the Watty Awards! Thanks so much!
Please COMMENT, VOTE, and FAN! :)