(Author's note: this was never mentioned but it was hinted at that in this au South Korea is a lot more open minded so there's no problems with sexuality to the general public especially younger generations)
ITZY had become bigger than any of them expected. Even if Ryujin had been successful as a solo artist, the things they had achieved as a group had surpassed her wildest expectations.
Now, after three years, they had just finished another successful tour. Worldwide. Having gone to several countries with her best friends while performing in front of large crowds of their fans had been the best experience of her life.
She had never been happier. Sure, life wasn't perfect but it was damn close to it.
The exhausted women left their final venue and went back to their hotel. Where they would be staying before flying back to South Korea for a much deserved break.
On their way there, Ryujin couldn't help but look around and notice how despite the exhaustion, every single one of them looked happy. Everyone was glowing and she knew that years ago, she had made the right decision. That they had been meant to do this. To be a group. All five of them.
When her eyes finally reached Yeji, their gaze met as the other had already been looking at her. The older woman offered her a smile and Ryujin did the same.
In the three years since Ryujin had declared her love for Yeji, they had never spoken about it again. Not even in passing mention. Although, they do talk about caring for each other or say they love each other. It's never in that way. It's in the same way she does with Chaeryeong, Yuna or Lia.
At the time, during their first meeting as ITZY, where they were all alone discussing their start as a group, many things were cleared up. Both her and Yeji explained what really happened to everyone else. Telling them that it was an elaborate plan by Yeji and despite the hurting it had caused, Ryujin was thankful for her selfless act. Of course, their friends immediately asked if they were getting back together. Which was fair. But after Yeji explained how she needed to be herself and be on her own, they let go of the subject.
Sometimes, her and Yeji unconsciously did or said things that earn them a teasing look or that may cause fans to create theories around such action or words but they never really acknowledge it. Ryujin wouldn't do such thing. That would only be placing pressure on Yeji. And the latter must not be ready or willing to do anything about it.
Ryujin has seen the many photos and videos of them holding hands, placing their hands on each other's body, looking at each other in a less than platonic way, how she still plays with Yeji's hair and she lets her, how they casually use their nicknames, and so on. Most of the time, she's not even aware that she's doing that. It comes as easy as breathing. Either way, she doesn't plan on stopping and apparently, neither does Yeji.
They haven't talked about it and maybe there will never come a time when they will have that conversation. Ryujin knows it's likely that Yeji might never come back to her. Not in that way. And that's okay.
Love isn't possessive.
Not hers, anyways.
Sure, she would love to have Yeji for herself.
But honestly, all Ryujin wants is for Yeji to be happy.
If that's not with her, then so be it.
Love is selfless.
That's something Hwang Yeji taught her.
"Let's have lunch together tomorrow before going to the airport." Yuna suggested, excitingly. Even if she was now 24, she was still the youngest of them and you could tell. She had grown up, but she was still their happy pill. Always smiling and brighting up their days even when they're stressed or tired.
"Just don't make me wake up early." Lia said, looking out the window of the moving car with a smile on her face. She had become someone who Ryujin often went to whenever she had worries as she never judged her. Lia was always very mature about things and the more time passed, the more they all felt they could depend on her.
"After the last time when I got hit with a flying pillow right in my face for waking you up, I wouldn't dream of doing it again." Chaeryeong joked, clearly trying to tease the other. As time went by, Ryujin learned that this girl was someone filled with advice and that she could always trust her to guide her in the right direction.
Both her and Yeji remained silent, looking at the rest of them proudly. One day they wouldn't be ITZY anymore but Ryujin hopes these girls will remain in her life forever. Even when there are no more stages to perform at, no more songs to sing or fans cheering for them. She hopes they can continue to be by each other's side.
Once they got to the hotel, they immediately went into the rooms after saying goodnight to each other. The roommates whenever they stayed at hotels rotated, leaving one person at a time with a room for themselves. That wasn't her case that night as she had been rooming with Yeji.
Despite what one might think, it was never awkward or weird to room with Yeji. Honestly, maybe it was because she was no longer a teenager and she was now nearing her 30s, but she didn't view any of it as something other than two friends sharing a room. There was no reason to make it into something more than what it was. It wasn't romantic nor was it sexual. It was just them talking about their lives or work or joking around until they fell asleep.
They got ready for bed, as they always did. Taking turns with showering and then getting into their pajamas. She was still walking around the room trying to organize her bag to make it easier to pack the day after when Yeji came out of the bathroom.
"I can't believe we just finished another tour."
Ryujin smiled. "Sometimes, it feels like a dream."
Yeji hummed in agreement.
"Are you going to visit your parents when we go back?"
Ryujin nodded. "I haven't seen them in so long. I have so many stories about the tour to tell them."
Yeji smiled, she could see that the woman was happy for her. But she could also see how her eyes always looked just a little sad whenever any of them would mention going home or their parents.
She knew the others would be going home as well, but Yeji would likely be at her place. Spending time by herself. It caused her pain to know that but every single break Ryujin would ask her if she wanted to join her and the older woman always refused her invite. Still, it didn't hurt to keep trying.
"Do you want to join me? My mom is like the biggest fan of yours. Seriously, you'd think her own daughter would be her favorite but no. She says you're captivating or something. I call it betrayal." Clearly, her plan to cheer Yeji up had been working because she was smiling widely at her words. Not that any were lies. Eomma really did love Yeji. Besides, her parents had met everyone but her. The woman she loved.
Yeji chuckled before speaking and Ryujin nearly froze in shock. "I'd love to join."
It was something simple. Going home with her. The other members had visited her home as well. But coming from Yeji who until now had refused each time, it meant so much.
She didn't want to overthink it though. After all, Ryujin knew that Yeji had love for her and Yeji knew how in love Ryujin was with her. No words necessary. No cheesiness or anything of the sort. But Yeji might not have wanted to be with her.
Because yes, they loved each other. They always would. But it was very much a possibility that one day Yeji would fall for someone else. Their love was like that. Always present. But maybe, it wouldn't be the one Yeji chose.
Deep down, Ryujin hopes that this means something. But she won't get her hopes up.
"Great. I'll call eomma and tell her to make your favorite food. You'll love her cooking."
Yeji smiled, in a way that caused her to do the same. It was a warm smile, one that she always wanted to be in the receiving end of.
That night, as they laid in bed, Yeji asked a question that crossed a line they hadn't dared to touch for three full years.
"I once asked you not to wait for me. Did you do as I asked?"
Ryujin didn't turn in her bed to look at Yeji but judging by the sound, she doesn't think she's turned towards her anyways.
"Never."
Yeji didn't speak again and Ryujin didn't mention what had happened.
Three days later, after packing their things to stay at her parents for two full weeks, Yeji and her found themselves entering the Shin's home. The one she had bought once she first made it big as a solo artist and could afford to take care of her parents.
"Wow, you look even more beautiful in person." Was the first thing her mother said when she saw Yeji, rushing to crush her into a hug when Yeji had clearly planned to simply bow.
Her father smiled, nudging Ryujin teasingly. Earning himself a push from her.
They weren't the most subtle of people.
You see, there was one thing Hwang Yeji didn't know.
Ryujin, in all her mighty stupidity, had confessed to loving Yeji to her parents years before. The first time she visited them with Yeonjun after things between them were cleared up.
So here they were. Meeting the love of Ryujin's life and being far too obvious about it.
Luckily, it isn't like Yeji isn't aware of her feelings. But it was still embarrassing and made her feel like she was a child being teased about her school crush.
As days went by, Ryujin realized it wasn't actually that bad. Well, it wasn't bad at all. Everyone got along so well that it warmed her heart. Sometimes Ryujin would step into the kitchen and see Yeji learning how to cook from her mother, or she would see her smiling as Ryujin and her father bickered only to side with him, they would watch movies together and they'd all join in on the spoiling just to bother her.
Yeji didn't have a family. Not anymore. They hadn't spoken since that day three years prior. But Ryujin wanted her to have one. Even if Yeji never chose to be with her. She wanted her to know that this will be her family. Even if they're just friends. She's family. And this is home.
"Does she know?" Her father whispered, catching her off guard. There were tears starting to form as she looked at Yeji with her mother.
"What?"
"You told us years ago how much she means to you. Does she know?"
Ryujin nodded.
"But she needs time to figure out what she wants."
Her father chuckled. "Judging by the fact you two keep staring at each other lovingly without the other noticing, I'd say she made her decision."
Ryujin was left staring with widened eyes at her father as he joined eomma and Yeji.
Did she?
Could she be hopeful?
Ryujin didn't mention it nor push the subject. She had once told she would never put pressure on Yeji, that was still true.
It had been a day since they had been back to Seoul and they were hanging out at her penthouse. Watching some K-drama that she had been meaning to catch up on.
"Just kiss her already." Ryujin protested, irritated by the extremely slow development of the story.
Yeji chuckled besides her, her head resting on Ryujin's shoulder.
"You're so impatient when it comes to these romantic dramas."
"Sometimes, when it comes to love, you have to stop being cautious and just go for it. Take a chance. Risk it all. Otherwise, you'll realize you've just been wasting time." She argued casually before yelling at the tv. "Or in this case episodes. Seriously, move along."
Yeji moved her head from her shoulder, looking at her as if she was waiting for her attention. Which Ryujin was glad to give her.
"You're right."
She was about to ask when Yeji spoke again.
"I won't make you wait any longer."
Ryujin gulped at the mention of this subject. Not knowing what to say.
She was waiting for some other words. To be rejected by Yeji. To be told that despite the love they know they share, it's not going to happen. They won't be together again. That Ryujin is destined to love Yeji from afar.
But she didn't get those words. In fact, she didn't get any words.
Yeji closed the distance between them, her hand moving the stray hairs from off Ryujin's face before she pressed her lips against hers.
It had been seven years since they had last kissed.
Seven years since she had felt those lips against hers.
And yet, it felt like how coming home feels after a long vacation. Both strange and familiar.
'Yes, Hwang Yeji feels like home.'
(Author's note: I might make a chapter from Yeji's POV because I think it might be nice to see her reflect and be her own person and deal with everything. Then I'll probably do an epilogue chapter)