head in the clouds. chapter twelve.
SUMMARY ; margo tries to make up for what she did.
❝ my stomach screams just when i look at you
run far away, so i can breathe
even though you're far from suffocating me
but i can't get my hopes too high
cause every hello ends with a goodbye ❝
——
MARGO HAD practically passed out from exhaustion that night, her eyes sore and her face soaked with tears, margo couldn't remember a time she's cried this much in one sitting. jeffrey would surely never forgive her for this, she wouldn't either, she threw the worst thing she possibly could have into his face, margo wasn't sure if that was forgivable. jeffrey would probably think that this is something margo would spit out anytime they argued, which wasn't true, she would never do this again, not when jeffrey looked at her like that, she'd do anything to never have him look at her like that ever again.
to say she was horrified to face him would be an understatement, but considering they did live together it was only a matter of time until she had to. she truly couldn't rid the tears in her eyes, the pit of her stomach was filled with guilt and regret, while her chest was consumed with the fear that jeffrey would never want to talk to her again. what would she do without him? everything she had said prior to that one horrible sentence was a lie, she did love him, god she loved that man so much it scared her.
"margo? honey, wake up," the girl wasn't asleep, but the sound of her mother's voice coming to wake her wasn't comforting to her current fears at all. margo closed her eyes against the fabric of the pillow, tears slipping down her cheeks. diana sat down on the bed next to her, offering a comforting hand to her shoulder on top of the blanket. margo had to resist the urge to shake her arm away. "jeffrey said he isn't feeling the best, so i thought maybe just me and you could go-"
"w-what did he say? what's wrong with him?" margo picked her head up to look at her mother, sniffling and wiping at her cheeks, she couldn't care less about her seeing her cry, it wouldn't be the first time, her concern for jeffrey was bigger than that. diana frowned at her daughter's appearance, her eyebrows furrowing. "why are you crying? what's wrong?-"
"nothing! what did jeffrey say?" margo repeated her question, swallowing the dehydrated lump in the back of her throat. diana breathed out a heavy sigh, her fingers squeezing around her daughter's shoulder. "he just said he feels a little sick, i'm sure he's fine.. margo, why are you crying?" diana asked again, her voice switching into a much sterner tone, thus letting the blonde know that she expected an answer. margo exhaled a shaky breath, her arms coming up to bend underneath her to prop herself up on her elbows, bracing her head in between her hands.
"i just had a nightmare, it's fine, i'm okay." margo lied, her eyes slipping shut as she wiped the palm of her hands against her cheeks. diana stared at the back of her daughter's head for a moment, growing skeptical about the situation, before she decided to let it go and stand to her feet, arms dropping down by her sides. "well, if you want to come with me to the beach you're more than welcome to, i might ask michelle to go along too." diana said to her daughter before exiting the bedroom, closing the door behind her.
margo inhaled a deep, shaky breath, her shoulders rising with the movement. she wasn't sure what to decide, she could stay huddled in her bed for the rest of the day to avoid jeffrey, or she could leave the house to give him some space. margo didn't think she would be capable of having a fun day, not with the events of last night and her current horrible relationship with jeffrey. he would for sure be the only thing occupying her mind, but that would be the case rather she tagged along with her mother and her nosy friend or not.
margo had met michelle once, it was last year on their annual summer trip to orlando and the visit to the woman's house lasted only about twenty five minutes before margo had jeffrey drive her home because she was feeling sick to her stomach. michelle did nothing but ask non stop questions, even to margo who was a stranger to her, anything ranging from what college would margo attend to and if she's kissed anyone recently. the strange woman truly had no filter or regards for other's privacy.
on one hand she could put up with michelle's never ending prying into her personal life, or she could stay home and risk running into jeffrey in the hallway. they both were horrible choices, and
margo's brain quickly racked for a third option. she could use this time to her advantage, her mother would be absent all day, it would give her a chance to talk to jeffrey without the risk of diana overhearing. but the fear of jeffrey wanting nothing to do with her was quickly overbearing that thought.
he knew diana was cheating on him, the only reason he was staying was for margo, now that she was almost positive she had ruined everything.. what would be keeping him here? margo's heart wrenched at the thought of him packing up and taking the next flight home to abandon the two, to abandon margo. the blonde would never forgive herself, she hoped to god that wasn't even a thought crossing jeffrey's mind.
"margo, i'm leaving! are you coming with me?!" the blonde heard her mother shout from downstairs. margo turned over to lay on her back, staring up at the ceiling with a blank expression. when diana heard no response she took that as her answer and left the house. margo knew sulking in her bedroom probably wasn't the best way to spend one of her summer days, especially when she could see the sun shining from behind her closed curtains, but that was the least of her concerns and the last of her thoughts.
she had to face jeffrey eventually, and she'd rather do it when they were able to be alone.
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margo had been laying on the couch, resting on her side to lay her head upon the armrest, a fuzzy white blanket draped over top of her. her eyes had been glued to the flat screen tv hanging above the fireplace that had been displaying the image of belle dancing around a ballroom with the beast in her puffy yellow dress. the movie made margo upset, considering she was in orlando, minutes from disney world, but she was sitting at home feeling sorry for herself when she could've been at one of the parks, or at least the beach. but she only had herself to blame for the situation she had gotten herself into.
it was nearing past seven thirty, the sun was beginning to set, the large windows showing off the pool in the backyard and displaying a part of the sky for margo to glance at the sunset every now and then. margo had decided to move her location into the living room around lunchtime, and jeffrey never came out of his bedroom, not once. if the circumstances were different margo would've been impressed with his stubbornness.
it was getting late and she knew her mother would be home soon, margo needed to talk to him, she needed to see him, rather he yelled at her the second she entered his room she no longer cared, she was desperate to find out how he was feeling. margo flung the blanket off of her, quickly making up her mind that she would go into the lions den to talk to him. she could feel her heart hammering against her chest as she approached the bedroom door, it was difficult to feel half of herself itching to push it open and see him, it had felt like years since she's last laid eyes on him, while the other part of herself wanted to retreat back downstairs to the comfort of the couch.
margo knocked her knuckles against the wood before thinking for another moment, her tongue poking out to lick her dry lips as she held her breath and awaited for a response. she got silence in return, margo frowned at this, she wouldn't walk away, she couldn't just leave, not after she got this far. margo twisted the door handle, seeing as it was unlocked, she pushed the door open ever so slowly, her eyes being met with the sight of jeffrey leaned back against the bed frame, laptop opened in his lap and the comforter pulled up to his waist. the man glanced up from his screen at the sound of the door opening, he only looked at the blonde for a short second before averting his gaze back onto the screen.
margo entered the bedroom, crossing the threshold as slowly as she could, almost as if she was afraid jeffrey would start to yell if she got too close. the girl found herself not being able to speak, she wanted to but no words ever formed. she stood right next to the bed with her hands clasped together behind her back, staring at the man with an anxious expression. the room fell silent, excluding the quiet sound of jeffrey's fingers typing against the keyboard, margo doesn't think she's ever heard silence quite this loud.
"j-jeffrey?" margo's timid voice spoke, there was a slight shakiness to her voice and jeffrey had to stop himself from asking why she sounded so scared, it was only him, she didn't have a reason to be. the man ignored her, his expression never twitched and his eyes stayed glued to the screen opened in front of him. margo bit her teeth into her bottom lip, her fingers beginning to scratch at the inside of her palms. margo swallowed the growing lump at the back of her throat, wondering if she should speak again or leave.
"jeffrey.. please talk to me. i'm sorry for what i said, that was really bad, a-and i shouldn't have said that, i didn't mean it, i promise i didn't mean it, i wouldn't have done that. you didn't do anything to me, i shouldn't have said it like that— i shouldn't have said it at all! and i'm really sorry, jeff." margo rambled on, desperate to find the right words to even grace how truly regretful she was of what she did. margo pouted her bottom lip out, feeling it start to wobble as jeffrey didn't move an inch, nor would he even look at her. margo sat on the bed beside him on her knees, digging them into the mattress below her.
"i'm sorry! i'm so, so sorry. i know you're mad at me and you have every right to be.. but please don't leave me." jeffrey glanced up at the girl at this, her tone dropped as she spoke those five words, her vision blurring with the tears that sprung up. "i-i don't know what i'd do without you.. you're like, my best friend and i don't wanna lose you, especially over something stupid i did. i know i can talk to you about anything, you make me feel safe a-and you tried so hard to make sure i wasn't scared when we were on the plane.. mom brought so many guys home after.. you know, he left, and they all did the same thing he did, you were the only one that ever stuck around for more than three weeks, and i know mom already ruined it, but i don't want to too. i know i'm annoying and i get really clingy sometimes, it probably annoys you and i'll try to work on that-"
"stop. margo, stop," jeffrey interrupted the girl from her long rambling apology speech, his expression softening at the sight of the tears slipping down her cheeks. margo sniffled, her hand reaching up to wipe away the wetness on her face. "i'm not leaving you. but listen, i'm not gonna tell you that everything is okay and baby you through this like i usually do.. margo, there was so many things wrong with what you said i don't even know where to begin. for starters, what if your mom heard you say that? we wouldn't be having this conversation right now. and second, i didn't do anything to you, that was fucked up to say, mar. i didn't force you into anything-"
"i know that!-"
"no, you listen! don't talk, just sit and listen for once," jeffrey stopped margo before she could really begin. the blonde sunk her shoulders forward at his sudden outburst and the harsh glare he was sending her way, though she nodded her head and closed her mouth, quickly deciding she would do what he says. "but that's how you made it sound. what, you were pissed at me? so you go and threaten that to me? that was not okay, margo. that was probably the worst shit you could've said. is that what you're gonna say every time we argue now?" jeffrey continued onwards, his eyebrows furrowing as he crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back against the bed frame. margo chewed on her bottom lip, her eyes glued to the man in front of her, when he raised his eyebrows in a questioning way margo grew confused.
"i-i thought i wasn't allowed to talk?-"
"answer the question!"
"no! no, i won't. i promise i won't ever say it again," margo quickly replied, her hands lunging forward to dig themselves into the comforter beneath her, twisting the fabric in between her fingers to stop herself from reaching out and touching jeffrey. the man breathed out a heavy sigh through his nose, his hands coming up to scrub down his face and rub at his eyes. margo couldn't rid of the tears blurring her vision, she had this expression on her face that resembled a puppy that just got kicked and jeffrey couldn't help but feel like the one that kicked it.
jeffrey scratched at the back of his neck, his eyes falling to his lap. "i just need time to think, alright?" jeffrey talked in a more softer tone than the previous one but it was far from the one he usual spoke to margo with, it was still laced with hurt and frustration. he turned his head to look at the girl, who's tears had spilled over and her bottom lip was shaking, though she nodded her head a couple times to silently tell jeffrey she understood.
"i'm not leaving you, okay? calm down, go eat dinner, or take a nap, you look tired." jeffrey couldn't help but comfort the girl, no matter their circumstances seeing her cry always hit a soft spot inside of him. margo nodded her head more surely this time, her hand reaching up to wipe her tears away as she swung her legs over the edge of the bed, exiting the bedroom without another glance back to the man. jeffrey watched the door close, hearing it click shut followed by the sound of margo's soft footsteps walking across the hallway and towards the staircase.
jeffrey threw his head back against the bed frame, his eyes slipping shut as he thought about what to do next. margo was such an important person to him, she surely held a special place in his life, he would always have a soft spot for her. packing up and leaving the blonde was never an option that crossed jeffrey's mind, but it seemed to be one that always managed to get through to margo's head. he wasn't sure why but it seemed like the girl had so much fear that he would disappear whenever things got tough.
maybe because that's what her own father did.
the thought crushed him. diana had told him the story about that man jeffrey couldn't even remember the name of, he didn't deserve a name after what he did. he had passed up such a gift in life that was the little blonde currently making mac and cheese downstairs, he was truly the biggest fool in the world to jeffrey. though margo was merely three years old when the man took off, it still stuck with her, the fact that he up left and left without an explanation, never to be seen or heard from again. though jeffrey had to be a little selfish and be grateful he did, if he hadn't jeffrey never would've met diana, then he never would've met margo.
when jeffrey came into margo's life it was like after years of someone trying to fit a puzzle piece in between diana and margo, after so many failed attempts, so many different pieces trying to get jammed into the opening, until jeffrey pulled out margo's chair for her at the first restaurant they went to the night diana introduced the two to one another, it was like the piece slid in perfectly. margo told him about all the guys diana brought home throughout the years, she introduced them to the blonde after a week of dating but they never stuck around much longer after that, margo always guessed it was because as soon as they found out she had a teenage daughter they quickly decided that getting involved with that would be biting off more than they could chew.
margo told him she thought the reasoning behind diana trying so hard with several different guys was because she was desperate at giving margo a father, she felt horrible that the girl would grow up without one. jeffrey was the only one that didn't scare off after seeing margo existed, in fact it made him want to be apart of their lives even more, he wanted to fill that role that margo was missing. that night at the restaurant jeffrey could see behind the uninterested expression margo wore and looked at him with, like this was just another wasteful night, making small talk with a man she'll never see again. jeffrey made it his mission that night to show the girl that not all men were untrustworthy, that not all of them were cowards and did nothing but leave when things got difficult.
but god, that girl was his now, he never imagined how strongly they would've gotten attached to one another, he never would've guessed their current situation. he had grown so protective and fond of margo that he couldn't imagine leaving her, she was his world, life wouldn't be the same without her. no matter what that girl did he would never pack his bags and leave. though she did need to learn her lesson for what she did, that was jeffrey's job after all. so he decided that her sulking in regret for a little while longer wouldn't be the worst thing.
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"okay, yeah. love you too, bye." margo spoke into the phone before pulling it away from her ear and clicking the red end call option on the screen. diana had just informed the girl that she would be spending the night at michelle's house, apparently she had a few drinks after returning from the beach all day and didn't feel comfortable in making the drive home. margo couldn't care less where her mother decided to spend her time, she knew it was horrible as a daughter to say but she was grateful for the night she would have without her, especially with her current situation with jeffrey.
it was nearing eleven at night and margo had been curled up on the large sectional couch with a blanket and a bowl of leftover mac and cheese from earlier, jeffrey had yet to come downstairs but she did feel better than earlier, she was glad with her decision to go and talk to him, at least she knew he wasn't planning on sneaking out during the night to never be seen again. though it still saddened her that he wasn't siting next to her, she knew he needed time alone so that was what she would give him.
when she heard footsteps coming down the staircase over the sound of her movie, she couldn't help the way her heart rate sped up. she picked up a spoonful of the pasta and shoved it into her mouth to stop herself from instantly turning around to stare at the man. jeffrey crossed the dining room and the kitchen, heading into the living room to stand in front of the couch and look down at the girl for a short moment. margo glanced up at him, mouth full of food and her eyes a little wider than usual. jeffrey couldn't fight the smile that tugged on the corner of his mouth at the image.
"what are we watchin'?" jeffrey sat down next to her, his arm stretching out over the back of the couch. margo smiled, swallowing her food before speaking. "i don't know, whatever you want to," margo tossed the remote into his lap, the grin staying on her face. jeffrey chuckled, his arm bending up to ruffle the top of her hair.
"that's my girl."
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margo pressed the front of her body deeper into the bed she was laying on, her head turnt to rest her cheek on the fluffy pillow and her arms under the pillow for her hands to grip at the sheet covering the mattress under it, twisting it in her grasp. jeffrey grunted above her, his hips rolling forward and his mouth buried into the crock of her neck.
"fuck, baby," jeffrey panted into her ear, margo moaned into the pillow when he gripped her hips in his hands and buried himself deeper into her. margo bucked her hips back against him, a whimper leaving her mouth when jeffrey sunk his teeth into the top of her shoulder. jeffrey licked over the red spot, his pace increasing when margo's moans grew louder.
"you gonna come for me? c'mon sweetheart, come for daddy." jeffrey talked against her ear, his voice low as he spoke in between heavy inhales. margo's mouth fell open and her eyes rolled back behind her closed lids, her arms stretching out in front of her as her fingers tightly grasped at the sheet. jeffrey reached around her and wrapped his fingers around the front of her throat, lifting her head up from the pillow and craning her neck back to kiss and bite at her jaw. margo moaned, her back arching against him as her weight fell forward, leaning into the hand grasping at her neck.
jeffrey groaned as he buried his head into the back of her neck, nuzzling his nose into the nape of her hair, his grip tightened around her throat and his other arm wrapped around the front of her waist to tug her closer to him. "good girl, fucking hell. you're so fucking pretty like this, princess. my pretty girl," jeffrey added in a breathy moan. margo threw her head down on the pillow when his grip released from her neck, her breathing sounded fast and short and her heart was racing. jeffrey soothed his hands up and down her back, over her sides and trailing over her shoulders.
when jeffrey pulled the comforter up and laid next to her he stayed on his side to face her, to keep his one hand rubbing on her back as she calmed and the other one propping his head up. after a moment margo picked her head up to look at him, before she scooted over to close the gap in between them, laying back down and pressing her forehead against his chest. jeffrey moved his hand to the back of her head, curling it into her hair to hold cradle the girl against his chest.
"hey.." jeffrey brought his fingers under margo's chin, lifting her head up to have her look him in the face. he brushed a piece of her blonde hair away from her forehead, tucking it behind her ear. the girl stared up at him with soft brown eyes filled with admiration, always so eager to hear what he was going to say next. margo could feel the pit of her stomach swarm with butterflies as jeffrey gazed down at her the way he was, his attention glued onto her and his eyes felt secure and comforting.
"you know i love you, right? this isn't just to let off some steam, or anything like that. i'm not using you, mar.. this is important to me, i can promise you that," jeffrey quietly spoke to the girl in front of him, his thumb brushing over her cheek as he rested the palm of his hand against the side of her face. a soft smile spread over margo's face, her head nodding once as she blinked. "i know. i'm sorry i-"
"hey, no. stop that, i don't wanna hear that word come out of your mouth for a very long time, i'm pretty sure you said it enough times yesterday to last a lifetime," jeffrey joked, a grin tugging on the corner of his mouth. margo nodded again, as she leaned forward to nuzzle her head against his chest, laying down to press her cheek against the pillow. jeffrey smoothed his hand over the top of her head, using his other arm to reach over and flick the lamp on the bedside off, making the light disappear to leave the room in the darkness
margo's fingers shot up to grasp a tight grip onto his wrist, her body coming in closer against jeffrey, he felt her shoulders start to shake under his hand. jeffrey furrowed his eyebrows, eyes narrowing as he titled his head down to look at the blonde in his arms in concern, though due to the lack of light in the room he could only make out her silhouette.
"tink? sweetheart, what's wrong?" jeffrey asked, his fingers beginning to scratch at the nape of her neck as he held her closer, his concern growing by the second. though margo didn't respond, he suddenly remembered all the nights since they've arrived in orlando that he's passed by her bedroom during the night to see light shining through the small bit of space margo always felt in between the door and the door frame.
"oh, shit, sorry, princess. i'll turn it back on-"
"n-no, no it's fine," margo shook her head, interrupting him. jeffrey retreated his arm back over the girl as he brought it away from the lamp, he trailed his hand under the blanket to rub his finger tips up and down the center of her back. margo nuzzled her nose in between the space of the pillow and jeffrey's arm, her eyes falling shut. the amount of fear she would've felt if she was alone in the dark room versus how she was feeling with jeffrey were on different levels. she had no ounces of fear whenever she beside the man, he brought her such an overwhelming sense of safety it was no issue to sleep in the room without any light.
jeffrey leaned down to kiss the top of her head. "alright, princess. i'm right here if you need me."