SWEAT POURS down the cheeks and forehead of Carl Grimes, his skin the color of paper. Recognizing the symptoms, Aria kneels down beside him, eyes searching his blue ones. Not wanting to accept the fact, she gently places a hand on his forehead before sliding it down to his cheek, the female almost jerking away from boiling skin. "It's just a fever, right?" She whimpers out, hoping that was all it was but deep down, she knew it wasn't.
"I wish it was," The teenager mumbles back, shakily drawing in a breath. The pain was evident on his features, it was shining in his blue eyes that he was hurting badly. Aria wanted nothing more than just to be able to take his pain away. If she could place all the pain on herself, she would in a heartbeat. He peels away the bandage, showcasing a bloody bite, the teeth marks from a walker visible.
"Carl. . You told me it was animal blood," Aria pauses, hand falling back to her side as she struggles to blink back the tears building in her eyes. "If you would've told me, we could've done something!"
He shakes his head, eyes squinting slightly as he looks over at her. "Like what? You know there isn't any cure. We couldn't have done anything, this was inevitable," Carl quietly says, weakly motioning down towards the wound.
"It wasn't inevitable, if we wouldn't have gone out of the walls, you wouldn't have gotten bit." Realization dawns on her as she blurts that out and a lone tear falls down her cheek, dripping down onto the dirty ground and soaking into the grime. Not wanting him to see her cry, she moves away from him and towards the shadows of the underground, plotting herself down onto the ground.
Unable to hold the burning tears back anymore, they slide down her cheeks, leaving wet trails behind. Because of her, her best friends are losing a child. If she wouldn't have let him go, he would be okay, he wouldn't have a bite mark on his stomach, he would be fine. But no, she made the mistake of letting him go and going with him. If she was faster, she could've killed the walker before it sunk its teeth down into Carl's skin, she could've saved him. All the what if's and maybe's run through her mind but they're not going to change a single thing. Carl was dying and it was her fault.
Her hand's press to her cheeks and the tears smother across her face. Thankfully, it was dark enough, nobody could see the girl breaking down. Well, all except Daryl. His blue eyes settle on her figure, his arms wrapped around Judith. He heard the conversation between Carl and Aria, he heard the way Aria's voice trembled as she struggled to hold back the tears, the way emotion laced every word she spoke, it broke his heart.
Daryl wasn't one to show emotion or be open about his love but Aria was, maybe that's why they struggled in their relationship. Though he didn't show it, he truly did love the girl and sometimes, he struggled with that. Who was he to love someone? He was just a nobody, how was he supposed to love someone when he barely knew how to love himself? He wants to show her that he loves her but how was he supposed to do that, he wasn't the best when it came to relationships.
The sight of two people walking towards him snaps him out of his thoughts and he glances over at them, eyes instantly lowering down to the ground. Rick and Michonne, the two people who are going to take this the hardest. His jaw clenched tightly as he hears Michonne's shaky breathing and he closes his eyes, clutching Judith just a bit tighter. This is why he never wanted a child, he never wanted to go through the pain of losing them.
Still hidden away in the darkness, Aria sadly watches the interaction, her hands trembling. Why was life so difficult? Why is it that the best people suffered? She notices the distraught expressions on Michonne's and Rick's faces and she has to look away, the guilt burning her up.
♚ ♛
Ten year old Carl watches Aria with curious eyes, his brows furrowed in concentration. The water glimmers beneath them and through the ripples, he can make out just a few fish. "Then, you release the button," Aria mumbles, the fishing line dropping into the water. With his own pole, Carl does the same exact thing, a smile forming on his face as his line sinks into the water.
"I did it," He informs her, tapping her gently on the arm and pointing down at the water. Aria's eyes light up with pride and she holds her hand out, his hand instantly slapping against her.
"Great job. Now we just have to be quiet." After a few silent moments, a fish tugs on Carl's line, his eyes widening in shock. Looking up towards her, he gasps softly. "Uh, I think I got one."
"Reel it in, reel it in!" Aria helps Carl reel the line in, both of them cheering loudly whenever they see a fish hooked. "You caught one, Carl!" She exclaims happily, both of their eyes filled with happiness.
—
Aria sits on the ground, chipping away at a stick with her knife. Her eyes glance up towards the farm before lowering back down, focusing on the task at hand. The sound of someone walking towards her distracts her and she looks up at the person, Carl appearing in her view. "Hey Aria! Mom's kinda busy right now and I have nothing to do."
He plops down right beside her, hands settling in his lap as he looks down at the butchered stick. "What are you doing that for?" He questions, leaning forward slightly to get a better look at it. Aria shrugs, eyes studying the stick for a few seconds before tossing it away, setting her knife down. "Did Daryl show you how to do that? I've seen him do that a few times before."
"No particular reason, I just got bored. Yes, he did show me how to do it. If you're so curious, why don't you just ask him to teach you?" She raises an eyebrow, already knowing the answer.
"No way! Daryl doesn't like anyone, he wouldn't want to teach me." Deciding to prove him wrong, Aria stands up and dusts her clothes off, motioning for Carl to follow after her. "Where are we going?"
"To talk to Daryl." Before the young boy could run off, Aria grabs his wrist and begins to walk off, pulling him after her. In the distance, Aria spots Daryl by his tree and she trots over towards him, an innocent smile beginning to play on her lips.
"Hey Daryl," She greets, catching the attention of the antisocial redneck. "Carl here was wondering if you could teach him how to shave a stick." With a gasp, Carl looks up towards Aria with wide eyes, shaking his head.
"I ain't no teacher," Daryl grumbles, glancing over at the two before looking back down at the squirrels situated before him.
"Please?" Aria crouches down in front of him, pouting slightly. It was irresistibly adorable and it always worked on her family.
Staring at her for a few moment, Daryl let's out a low groan before motioning for Carl to sit in front of him, snapping a thick stick in half. "Whatever." So for the next hour, Daryl teaches Carl how to carve a stick with a knife, Aria watching them both with happy eyes.
—
A desperate looking Carl runs in the direction of Aria, his blue eyes wide. "Aria, Aria!" Beginning to think the worse happened, Aria grabs her knife, only for Carl to shake his head. "No, these kids just won't stop following me!" He groans out, pointing back towards the kids that are running at him.
A laugh leaves her lips and she shakes her head at Carl, rolling her eyes. "They're only following you because they look up to you," She pauses, eyebrows furrowing. "Quite literally, have you grown since we got here?" She asks, beginning to measure Carl with her hand, his head reaching her chin. "Dang, you have!"
"That's not the point, Aria! Everywhere I go, they follow, I don't like it. I'm big now, I don't need people following me around." It was no secret that ever since they got to the prison, Carl matured. It was a bitter sweet feeling for them all. They hated that he had to learn to grow up so quickly but they were happy he was beginning to understand the dangers.
"If you're so big, why are you acting like a baby? They're following you around because they think highly of you. Just like we follow your dad, they follow you. In my eyes, it's a really good thing," She tells, shrugging her shoulders. "This is preparing you for the future. Learn how to lead them and you'll be leading everybody else in no time."'
"You really think so?" Carl asks with hopeful eyes, the thought of being like his father exciting him.
"I know so."
♚ ♛
A loud explosion sound overhead and it snaps Aria out of her thoughts, the flashbacks of her times with Carl making her smile softly. However, the smile soon fades away as she hears the deep coughs of Carl, the reality of what's happening returning. She never thought she would see the day where Carl would pass away yet here she is, it's a horrible thing. Aria quickly gets to her feet as she sees her angry best friend march over to Dwight, desperation and anger on her face.
The sadness in Michonne's voice as she pleads with Dwight sends a sharp pain through her heart and all she wants to do is take Michonne in her arms. Walking over towards her, she gently grabs ahold of her hand, their eyes meeting for the first time since they found out. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Rosita walk up as well and the woman nods, silently telling Aria to take her away. Pulling her off into a corner, she envelopes her best friend into a tight hug, eyes squeezing shut.
Neither one of them speak, both of them not knowing what to say. So, Aria just holds onto her tightly, allowing her to let out any emotions because she knows, if it was her in this situation, Michonne would do the same thing.
♚ ♛
Picking at her thumbnail, Aria stares down at her hands, noticing the blood beginning to peak through the skin. She sighs softly before dropping her hand back down to her side, mind wandering. Rick nor Michonne know that Aria went with Carl that day and she's just trying to figure out when they best time is to tell them. She knows they'll be upset with her but she can't keep it from them.
She glances over at Daryl as he walks towards her. It made her heart swell but it also made her want to cry out. Part of her wishes they were still together so she could lean on him for support but she can't. Comfortable silence consumes the two as they stand quietly, both of them listening to the sounds from up above.
"You went with him that day?" His gruff voice finally speaks up after a few moments causing Aria to look towards him only to find him looking down at her.
"I did. . I didn't mean for any of it to happen, Daryl," She whimpers, bottom lip trembling as she draws in a breath. "There were a group of walkers, we — we just figured we could take them all out easily but we struggled. After killing for the ones that were coming after me, I went to help him but he already fended them off. I — I saw the blood and I asked him about it but he said it was the animal's," She pauses, looking up as her eyes begin to burn with tears again. "How could I have been so oblivious to it?"
He could tell she felt guilty, he could see it on her face. Everything that went wrong with this group, she always ended up blaming herself and he hated that. "It's not your fault." He wasn't the best when it came to consoling people but he did know how to listen and most of the time, that's all people needed; a listening ear.
As she opens her mouth to speak again, she shakes her head, closing her eyes. "We need to get everyone to the Hilltop," She whispers before walking past him, brushing her hair out of her face.
Carl leans back against the tunnel, staring down at his sister with soft eyes. "You be good for Michonne — for Dad. You gotta honor him. Listen when he tells you stuff, you don't have to always. Sometimes kids got to show their parents the way," He pauses, taking his hat in his hands. "This was dad's before it was mine. Now it's yours. I don't know, just having it always kept dad with me. It made me feel as strong as him. It helped me, maybe it'll help you too. Before mom died, she told me that I was going to beat this world. I didn't but you will, I know you will."
Judith begins to cry out and Rick hands her off to Daryl, who is holding back his emotions — Aria can tell, it pains her. "These people, you saved them all. That's all you, man."
Taking a deep breath, Aria walks over towards Carl, crouching down in front of him. "You did beat this world," She whispers, swallowing back the lump beginning to fill her throat. "Because despite all the odds telling you to turn away from yourself, you didn't. You stayed the same, you grew stronger and you never lost sight of what's important. You're the strongest person I know, Carl Grimes. . I'm sorry," She finishes, whispering those last two words. She leans forward and presses a gentle kiss to his forehead before standing up, turning towards Rick and Michonne. She presses a light, friendly kiss to both of their cheeks before following after Daryl, her heart sinking down to her stomach.
Goodbye Carl Grimes, you will be missed.
A U T H O R
i'm not crying, you're crying. gosh, this hurt to write. i miss carl so freaking much, it's crazy.
2490 words, i think this is the longest chapter i've ever written.
did you enjoy the chapter? how do you think michonne and rick are going to react when they find out aria was with carl? do you think aria is going to try and get revenge on negan or try and be like carl?