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Kim Seungmin:
Day 7
So much for not needing Jeongin.
I thought I could handle it. I really did. I thought I had finally came up with a way to get him and this whole fading thing off my mind.
But it didn't work. While I was singing, he always popped into my lyrics, somehow. I would end up writing songs about him, and I just couldn't get his beautiful face, adorable personality, and that kiss we had out of my mind.
And stalling the fading didn't t really didn't last long. While I wasn't playing music, the only thoughts that would roam my mind was him, and why he wouldn't talk to me.
I couldn't sleep because of him. I was always afraid of not waking up because of how quickly I was fading cause of
And after not even making eye contact with me at school, I lost it.
I couldn't control myself. My legs and mouth were ahead of my brain, and by the time I approached him, there was no going back.
But the thing was, after I yelled at Jeongin, I relaxed. I guess I just needed to get my point across to him.
I also think a little part of me knew if I confronted him and told him that the stress is making me fade faster, he would feel guilty and crack. It's a bit evil, but I wanted answers.
And after he told me what was going on, I was the one who felt guilty. I shouldn't have yelled at him like that. He was really just trying to help the both of us, he didn't know it was making me fade faster.
After we unhugged, I rubbed my eyes tiredly. At least I can sleep peacefully tonight, without the stress keeping me awake.
"So, we're good?" I double checked, massaging his shoulder lightly.
He looked hesitant before before nodding. I know this whole dying thing freaks him out more than any of us, and all he wants is just to find a way to stop it.
And that's why he avoided me. It all makes sense now.
We shared a faint smile, before we both continued to eat our lunch like normal.
I wish there was something I could say to comfort him. And even if there is, if I could find the perfect thing to help him, nothing will change the reality of this whole crap storm.
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This chapter really reminded me of when I was writing our faults and every other chapter would be the same thing but two different perspectives- w o a h deja vu hitting hard
Also, I'm sorry this was super short :,( it was kinda meant to be a filler. But, next chapter may pull at your heartstrings ehehe