Chapter 36.
Confession.
As usual, Sa-do was in the library after class, to evade Ji-dwi. She was going through a particularly difficult Chinese text that had a lot of ancient characters that she wasn't familiar with to pass the time till dinner. She let out a groan as she got stuck again, unable to find the proper translation.
"Need some help?"
Sa-do didn't look up as she pointed at the unknown letter with a hateful glare and pouted. "What is this?" she asked, but it sounded more like a childish whine.
"That's sran. It means mountain."
Sa-do nodded in acceptance before recognizing the owner of the voice and it hit her like a load of bricks. Kim Ji-dwi. It was Ji-dwi. She spun back, almost toppling off the stool she was sat on, but he steadied her easily as he pulled her back up to a sitting position.
"What are you doing here?" Sa-do asked, before mentally smacking her forehead at her stupidity. The library was a public place and he didn't need her permission to be here, even if it had been her safe sanctuary away from him for countless evenings. Standing up she informed, "I will leave," as she gave a small bow and moved past him.
Or tried to, at least. But he caught her arm and pulled her back making her stumble. But she didn't fall, getting trapped within his hold instead.
Sa-do looked up at him with wide eyes, not knowing what to say or do. They both had been avoiding each other for so long that now she just didn't know how to react to his sudden presence where he wasn't being cold or pushing her away. He even translated the text for her! When was the last time Ji-dwi helped her with reading? It seemed so long ago.
Sa-do was pulled out of her thoughts when Ji-dwi held her arms and tugged, pulling her a few steps towards him. His eyes never leaving hers, he asked, "you are willing to walk away from me for the sake of my happiness. Are you willing to leave with me for the same?"
Sa-do blinked at the familiarity of his claim but was not able to pinpoint from where. Slightly flustered, she jokingly exclaimed, "you're pretty confident! What makes you think I will go anywhere with you?" Of course, she was teasing. She trusted him with her life.
"You love me, don't you?"
Sa-do lost her footing and unfortunately it only made her step closer to Ji-dwi, her hands grabbing onto him as she tried to regain her balance. His eyes were intense as they burned into hers. Sa-do choked on the air and coughed to clear her throat before swallowing heavily. "Hiya! How can you just say things like that aloud? What if someone heard you? Pretty bold of you to assume-"
The remaining words of her mindless rambling vanished as Ji-dwi bent down to press his lips against hers firmly, in a passionate kiss that effectively silenced her and left her breathless. She automatically responded after a few seconds of stunned stillness, her hands fisting against his robes in an attempt to keep herself from scattering into a million little pieces. Her knees went weak and the only thing holding her up was his arm which was wrapped tightly around her waist, blocking any possible escape endeavors.
Finally breaking away, Ji-dwi rested his forehead against hers as she took huge gulps of air, trying to calm her heart which was pounding hard against her chest. "I dare you to deny it," he whispered softly, still holding her close to himself, challenging her yet again.
That's what he always did. Ji-dwi challenged her to step out of her comfort zone and push her limits and set higher standards for herself. Sa-do didn't reply. She couldn't. What would she say anyway? "How did you?" She didn't need to elaborate; he understood her incomplete question easily.
"I heard you talking to Seon-woo."
Well, that explained why it sounded so familiar. Trying to get back her composure Sa-do reprimanded disapprovingly, "that's eavesdropping."
Ji-dwi cracked a small smile but defended, "I was there before either of you. It's hardly my fault that you didn't notice me." Sa-do blinked at the new information. So he had been there? And he had heard everything? Including the ...?
Cupping her cheek, Ji-dwi urged her to look up, his brown eyes searching for something. "If we go away somewhere, away from all this, will you come with me? We will forget all the titles and names and live as any other ordinary citizen. I probably won't be able to do much for you, nor do I have any of the riches and treasure that you deserve. But I will give you all of me and I will love you with everything I have. It will just be the two of us. No more fights and battles. We will be happy. Will you come with me if I ask you to?" His voice was earnest and vulnerable as he let everything out, wearing his heart on his sleeve.
Sa-do eyes were wide as she regarded him, his words repeating continuously inside her head. Ji-dwi wanted to leave? With her? He... loved her?
On noticing her bewildered expression, Ji-dwi clarified, "I am telling you that I would exchange Silla's throne for you. Will you come with me? No. Let's just go together." His eyes were hopeful but sincere when he promised, "just come with me because I will live, not as anyone's King, but as your Jinheung."
It took Sa-do a while to process his words. It took even longer to get her breathing to return to a pace that would allow her to speak. Looking into his eyes, she said in an as steady and unwavering voice as she could muster, "are you using me right now as an excuse to run away from everything, your highness?"
She cut in before he could reply with a firm, "no. I won't be going." Ji-dwi's face made her resolve waver but she pushed on, "I will not run away from anything... Nor will I allow you to do that." Running away was not the solution. It never was.
Ji-dwi looked crest fallen as he mumbled, "how would you know?"
Sa-do smiled. That was an easy question and she answered confidently, "because I know you better than you know yourself." Her playful smile disappeared on seeing his heartbroken expression. "Let me rephrase that," she amended, gazing into his defeated eyes, "I refuse to run away from my problems. And I understand that you have a battle to fight yourself. So, I will wait. I will wait for you until you become victorious."
Ji-dwi looked at her, his forlorn expression replaced by a more hopeful one. "Really?"
Sa-do hummed is assent. "I will help you become Silla's King if you want. I will be there through every step of the way," she assured him as she leaned up to place a kiss on his forehead.
A bright smile finally lit Ji-dwi's face as he nodded before suddenly pulling her in to a snug embrace. "Thank you," he breathed, his face buried in the crook of her neck.
"Just don't push me away again," Sa-do begged, running her fingers gently through his hair.
He squeezed his arms around her tightly, pulling her flush against him. "I don't think I have the strength to do that any longer," he admitted quietly. "I love you too much for that."
Sa-do's whole body froze. This was the first time he had directly admitted it out loud. Her heart raced. He loved her. Her mind still hadn't wrapped itself around that confession. It still felt surreal.
Her stomach rumbled before she could say anything however. Ji-dwi laughed, slowly pulling away from her. "Let's get you some dinner," he suggested tapping her, now pink, cheeks with his finger, his face pulled into a bemused expression. He grabbed her hand, lacing his fingers through hers as he dragged her towards the direction of the dining hall.