That energy...
It expelled from her in such a force that it sent me into a state of unconsciousness where my mind swirled with a flurry of everything that had transpired.
I had thought she was dead and when I saw her face, the strangest form of euphoria had flooded my senses, pushing me passed my limits of pain just to hold her in my arms again.
Her skin was so hot though, I could feel the fire emanating from her. It was no wonder such a force could exude from her like that. What had he done to her?
Where was she? Why couldn't I pull myself from this darkness? I wanted to see her. I needed to see that she was alright.
"Xan."
That voice. So familiar.
"Xan, wake up..."
Was it her?
"Aeris..." her name fell from my lips as my eyes finally opened, pierced by the glaring bright lights. There was a presence next to me and I turned my head to face it, expecting those brilliant blue eyes. Instead, I found familiar silver eyes.
"Celestra..." I murmured in realization as an intrigued smiled crossed her rosy lips.
"What exactly is an "Aeris," my dear?" She asked with little concern. She dabbled with her hologram chart, clearly analyzing my stats and I realized quickly I was in her lab.
Her eyes showed little emotion as with most Torians. I expected nothing less from my fiancée. She was a dedicated scientist at the Torian Empire's research lab.
"How did I get here?" I asked, trying to shift focus, though I found myself panicked that Aeris might be here. Things would not fair well for her here if they discovered what she was.
"Some vigilantes called us and we brought you here. Neron's here too. Seems you two got into quite the scrape," she answered, fiddling with some controls on the monitor.
I tried to sit up but she quickly stopped me.
"No," she ordered and I realized I was hooked up to several IVs. "You lost a lot of blood," she informed. "And I took it upon myself to make a couple upgrades to your system while you were under."
I relaxed, there was no getting out of here at the moment.
"Upgrades?" I asked.
She continued to adjust my IVs, making precise measurements and notes. "Yes, your electrical cores needed to be enhanced. Seeing the condition you came here in, it probably was a good thing."
The electrical cores were the mechanisms that made me stronger than other Torians. They intensified the currents in my body and my ability to manipulate the current, as well as the current of other's.
I reached my hand to my wound and felt the thin sliver of where she must have lasered it shut.
"I took care of that as well," she said, noticing in her peripherals as she dispelled her hologram screen and leaned over on the edge of my cot. Her straight golden locks fell from behind her ears and she placed her chin in her hands with an amused glint in her silver orbs.
"Now, tell me, my love. Why did you not request backup for such a horrendous battle."
My love. She would say those words and she knew nothing of their meaning. I didn't even know if I understood them, but I knew they meant something.
"Phoenix Rize is nothing to mess with," she continued. "You and Neron alone could not handle that. What were you thinking?"
Raeland. Where was he now. Did he...die?
I needed answers but at the same time, I didn't want to reveal too much. This was a dangerous game.
"Where is the fugitive?" I asked.
Her eyebrow arched inquisitively. "You don't remember? I was hoping you could tell us what happened.
"No," I grunted bluntly, not looking to share anything.
She sat back in her hover chair and seductively placed her finger on her lips pensively. "Interesting," she murmured. "Neron said the same thing."
I felt a wave of relief. Neron always was one for solidarity and he intended to keep Aeris safe as well.
"We found the fugitive unconscious. He has been in that state upon arriving here," she informed casually, bringing up the stats in a hologram. "Once he wakes up, a full interrogation will take place. His other lackeys are held here as well and we confiscated what we could from their labs, but there wasn't much. A busted up parasitic novular alloy being was the only thing of worth."
Her words struck me with a tinge if irritation. She was worried about items of worth in that lab of nightmares? What about the horrendous experiments they were performing? We're we going to ignore the blatant abuse of ethics in the name of science?
"It seems it was only meant to be a small lab for transient services. Heavier lifting must have been taking place elsewhere," she continued in before looking back at me. Her face twisted with confusion.
"You seem...upset. Did something traumatic happen? Perhaps you need a dose of Euphoquin?"
Euphoquin. There was a certain stigma within the GIU for anyone who needed to take that drug. It was for Torians who failed to control their emotions. It kept them in a state of neutral calm if they failed to maintain that mindset themselves.
Many average Torians took it. The discipline to withhold from rising emotions was not a task easily handled and it took severe dedication to do so. I had learned that skill at a young age and never required the need for the drug... until now.
Now, I found myself coursing through the spectrum of emotions over a human. A human who meant more to me than anything I had ever encountered. A human who crossed my mind more than my fiancé who was sitting right front of me. What did that even mean?
"There is no need for that," I answered uninterested.
She smiled knowingly and placed a bottle of the pills on the tray next to my cot.
"Well, why don't you take some with you, just in case," she said with a wink. "I don't want anything to get in the way of our perfect ceremony next week."
Next week. Was it already that close? The pit in my stomach grew as if it were about to suck me in whole. Before any of this, I would have found this concept satisfying. To move on to the next level of my life would have been an accomplishment. It was all apart of the plan.
When Celestra and I had been matched, Commander Lark had been pleased. I was already being set to take over his position as he was next to rule the empire because of his stellar role in the GIU all these years. As one of his top agents, he was thrilled that I would be entering a Union with his most prized possession; Celestra.
We performed a bonding with each other as was customary when you were matched; a ritual of exploring the state of your partner to understand their true internal make up. When we placed our hands on each other's hearts with the golden glow of the connection, I could feel her being.
She was cold, like I was standing in a desolate ice land. Her mind was fixed on her accomplishments and goals. She was content with the pairing and her father's approval, but towards me was a sense of indifference. She found me to be a strong and suitable mate who would provide her the type of offspring she wanted. I was merely the next level on her list of goals to check off and if I was honest with myself, she most likely felt the same from me.
This was the Torian way. We functioned on goals and achievement. Satisfactory was the best we could achieve as anything else was unacceptable. There was no room for any type of sentiment in Torian culture. What we had was a mutual respect and that's all we needed to build a life. I was satisfied by this initially.
But now, I had changed. I had felt things and done things I never had before. When I felt Aeris, she was warm. Her feelings flooded me as if they were my own. I felt her fears, her sadness, and even her joys. To see the world through her eyes, it was... exhilarating. Her being was more than moving from one objective to the next; she was living. Her focus had been to change the world for the better. I didn't know how to disconnect from that now.
"It's nothing to be ashamed of, Xan," Celestra lectured. "Even my father has required the use of these pills. You know how Neron could really work his nerves."
I couldn't hide my smirk. Neron did have a way about him. He was rebellious since the day I met him when we both joined the GIU at the prime training age of 16. He questioned everything and it drove Lark nuts.
It never surprised me that he became an Outlier. He wasn't a follower as most Torians were. Neron was expressive to say the least and seldom kept his emotions in check. He had been punished for it numerous times. Several bouts in the isolation cube never seemed to phase him. Over the years he just got better at hiding his emotions and I suspected he never intended to control them. He didn't want to. A part of me almost understood now what I was unable to back then.
"How typical," Neron sneered from the doorway. He leaned against the door frame raggedly, visibly drained and beaten. "Hand over a pill to sedate whatever he's feeling instead of actually getting to the root of the feeling," he accused and Celestra rolled her eyes.
"Grow up, Neron," she answered coolly. "He's an elite Torian, not a slimy Outlier. He shouldn't be feeling anything, except a sense of duty."
She glanced at me. "You need your rest. I will be back to check on you shortly," she said walking to the door and shooting Neron an icy stare. "You get 5 minutes and nothing more. I won't hesitate to throw you in the isolation cube just for old times sake."
Neron just grinned. "Don't tempt me with a good time, darlin'."
She exited the room and Neron took a seat on the hover chair next to my cot. He looked over the machines hooked up to me and the IVs in my arms.
"He really did a number on you," he muttered with a chuckle.
"Neron," I said with a tone of urgency. "Is she-"
"Everyone is fine," he answered quickly to cut me off, clearly concerned that the wrong being could hear.
I felt a sense of relief. She was safe.
"Teo showed up with the GIU. He got the others before the GIU did a full sweep of the lab," he informed. "You were in pretty bad shape. You're lucky to be alive."
"Yeah," I sighed bitterly, feeling the pang in my shoulder when I did.
It was all a blur at this point, but I remembered the agony and the desperation. The feeling of fear and loss lingered almost as strongly as the vengeful bloodlust that flowed from me right after. I would have killed Raeland easily for what he did to Aeris. That was a dangerous feeling. I had been too weak to control any of it.
I looked at Neron seriously, knowing he would understand more than anyone. "I've lost control," I admitted.
"I know you have," he answered quietly. "It's not necessarily a bad thing," he informed sagely. He didn't believe in the Torian way and always hated that I stayed the course. There had never been a reason for me not to. Everything had been set into place for me.
Neron grabbed the pills off the tray and looked them over. "You know, I tried these once," he confessed and I looked at him surprised. That was not something I ever expected from him.
"Did they work?" I asked.
He shook his head. "Nope," he replied placing them back on the tray. "I couldn't shake her," he answered looking right into my eyes as if to make a point.
Trish had turned his world upside down. Even the rebellious Neron had tried to forget her and he couldn't. Was that going to be my reality now? Cursed with this newfound desire and doomed to live without it. Unless I threw it all away like he did. Could I even do that? One thing was clear; I couldn't shake her either.
Author's Note
Hello everyone! Hope you all enjoyed another Xan POV. We actually have quite a few more of those coming up! A lot of his world was revealed in this chapter! What are your thoughts in Torian Culture? And Celestra? Xan's having some internal conflict. What path do you think he will take?
Thanks for reading and commenting! You guys are the reason I stay inspired to write and I love seeing what you have to say! Don't forget to follow on Instagram! ☺️