You know that feeling when you feel like you’re falling down a deep, deep dark hole but you can’t do anything to save yourself from your impending thud to rock bottom? And you just have to sit there and watch yourself suffocating into oblivion?
That’s how I felt when I woke up on July 4th. Which was not a pleasant time either, considering I was being pulled off my bed and tickled by Andy and Elle. I growled at them and they smiled sheepishly at me.
“Get dressed.” Andy ordered. “You have two hours until we have to be downstairs and partying with all of Hollywood.”
I sighed and grabbed a towel for a shower and hurried into the bathroom. “A gentle nudge would have woken me up just fine.”
“But that was way more fun.” Elle said innocently.
I rolled my eyes and shut the door, locking it, and then quickly hopping into the shower. I made sure I shaved my legs extra good and shampooed my hair more than necessary. These Hollywood people will look for any reason to take me down and I know that. I just can’t give them a reason, especially when barfing on the stage is going to be good enough.
When I got into my room, Elle and Andy had their outfits on. Andy was wearing a simple black bikini and covered it with a red-pinkish lacy see through shirt that came down to right below her butt. Elle was covering her bikini with a short spaghetti strapped dress with cute flowers vining all around it and two ruffles at the top, it was kind of country. Very Elle. I got dressed in my one-piece swim suit, just to fit in because there was no way I was going to go swimming today. It was black and had three large holes down the front, showing off a lot of skin. I covered my thighs with a simple pair of super-short jean shorts.
Andy insisted on doing my hair but went easy on me- a high-poised pony tail with a flower clip at the hair tie. Andy left her wavy hair down and it drifted to her shoulders. Elle matched me with a high pony, caging all of her golden curls. Andy was the only one who bothered with makeup, but went light. Eyeliner and a neutral eye shadow with a soft lip gloss.
“Ready?” Elle chirped and I nodded. I was a little excited for this party and I could enjoy it for the most part because I’m not singing in front of everyone until tonight, so I had a few hours until I became a laughing stock.
“Let’s go!” Andy squealed, interlocking her arms with one of mine and Elle on the other side as we travelled out of my room and towards the elevator.
Andy picked her phone out of her bikini top and grinned.
“What?” I asked with a chuckle.
“Zac Efron just got here.” She grinned excitedly.
My eyes bugged, but I didn’t express my surprise in words. They were used to people that big being around, but I just wasn’t. I don’t think I would have minded if I didn’t know that I was going to be singing in front of a group of people, a group of people that will include Zac Efron, in less than twelve hours.
“I’ll get him to autograph my arm.” Elle laughed.
We all made our way out back and locked the glass door behind us. Immediately, we were engulfed by the thick of the party. All of the girls were in bikinis or crop tops and the guys were in swim trunks, some were wearing t-shirts or wife beaters, but not very many. The pool was full of laughing people, throwing around the pool toys like noodles and rafts. On the pool deck, everybody was dancing to California Girls by Katy Perry and I noticed the speakers set up on a makeshift stage towards the back of the yard. My doom.
We all decided to split up and find our boyfriends once we got outside. Andy went her separate way, but me and Elle stuck together, since it was likely that Kale and Isaac would be together. It wasn’t hard to find them, they were at the table with all the food on it, of course. Pigs.
When they saw us, they grinned and Kale took me into his arms. Our skin pressed against each other since he wasn’t wearing a shirt, just a pair of black and white plaid board shorts.
“Hey, babe.” He mumbled in my ear.
I pulled away and smiled, crinkling my nose. “Who invited you?”
He smirked and leaned closer, when he talked our lips brushed. “You know you want me here just as much as I want to be here. With you.”
I giggled softly and blushed before putting my lips on his. “You’re a cheese ball.”
He shrugged innocently. “Oh well.”
I rolled my eyes and leaned over to the table of food and grabbed a hotdog, smearing ketchup all over it. “I’m so hungry.” I whined, considering it was three already and Andy refused to let me eat when I woke up.
“Well then get a plate.” Kale said as I took a bite.
“Kale, hey.” A guy’s voice cut through our conversation.
“Hey, dude.” Kale greeted the guy and they shared a weird handshake.
I looked up to see who it was and was frozen in place at the face that I saw: Tyler Posey. I was unable to move, even with my hotdog midway into my mouth and stuck in place as they had a conversation right in front of me, but I couldn’t understand what they were saying because my mind was screaming at me.
That’s Tyler Posey! That’s Tyler Posey! That’s Teen Wolf! Ahhh!
When I found my will power again, I brought the hotdog out of my mouth and tossed it into the nearest trash can before hastily making my way to Kale’s side where Tyler Posey was still talking to him.
I quietly stood by Kale’s side as they caught up. “This is Holly, my girlfriend.” Kale said. Butterflies swarmed in my stomach when I heard the pride in his voice. And the pride I felt when people knew that I was dating Kale.
Tyler Posey looked at me and smiled, offering me his hand. I politely took his hand. “It’s nice to meet you, I’m Tyler.”
I nodded. “I-I know.” Realizing that I should leave before I made myself look like a stupid crazy person, I cleared my throat. “I should, ah, go find Jackson... or something.” I mumbled, stepping onto my tippy toes and kissing Kale lightly on the cheek before looking back at Tyler. “It was nice meeting you.”
“You too.” He muttered as I walked away in search of somebody I could talk to.
“Hey there!” Somebody chirped as a mess of beach blonde waves blinded my vision. I blinked a few times before seeing the familiar face of Mindy Crow grinning at me with an evil glint in her eye.
I gave her a confused look. “Um, hi.” I sidestepped her to walk to where I saw Jackson talking to Tommy and Ryder.
“Just so you know…” Mindy continued in her sickening accent, putting a dainty hand on my shoulder, catching me from my easy escape. “You ruined my chance of getting with Jackson.” She nearly growled at me, her fake smile was gone and turned into a deadly glare.
I gave her another confused look. “And I care why?”
“You know, you may have everyone wrapped around your finger here, having everybody thinking that you’re some innocent girl from Missouri or whatever but I can see right through you.” She seethed, turning her eyes into glaring slits, it was rather comical and I wondered how she could possibly see through such a tiny space. She looked like an angry bull who fell into a vat of bleach. Maybe that’s why the bull was angry, I’d be angry too if I fell into a vat of bleach. But wouldn’t you die? Well, not if you didn’t swallow it, maybe. “What’s so funny?” Mindy demanded when she realized that I was laughing at the mini debate I was having inside my head.
“You’re pathetic attempt to scare me? That’s pretty amusing.” I fired back with an innocent smile.
“You know what else is amusing?” She asked with an evil, icky smile on her face. Her cold eyes looked to something over her shoulder. “James!” As she yelled to somebody named James behind her, she was pointing to me, like the two were reading each other’s mind. When the guy, who I assumed to be James, started walking towards us, Mindy looked back at me. “This will be pretty amusing.”
Right as she said that, the buff guy scooped me into his arms and chuckled at my confusion. “Into the pool you go.” He sang.
Those five words filled me with an instant, heart stopping terror that I never knew I could feel. I’m sure that all color drained from my face as I started kicking and thrashing around in his arms, desperate to be free. He struggled but soon enough, we were at the pool’s edge.
“Let me go!” I screamed as loud and panicky as I could scream. “Get off! Let me go! Help! Let me go!” I screamed, helplessly and frantically squirming around in his arms, hoping to hit him anywhere to get him to release me.
“Stop being a baby.” I heard Mindy snicker just before James’s arms were released from around me and I was flying through the air before finally splashing into the water at full force.
I couldn’t touch the bottom and I helplessly flailed around in the water until my muscles became weak with fatigue. I didn’t have the ability to get to the surface because Holly Thorne just isn’t that coordinated and I couldn’t do anything as I held my breath for what felt like hours.
After a few hours of drowning in the chlorine-thick water, I felt two strong arms wrap around me and quickly pull me to the surface.
As I was dragged onto the cement surrounding the pool, all sound was muffled. I could hear panicked voices surrounding me but I couldn’t make out what they were saying. I could hear the pounding of a fist onto flesh but I couldn’t figure out where it was coming from. The only thing that I could make out was Kale’s concerned and frightened face was about half a foot away from mine. I would have said something, but my lungs weren’t having it.
I was desperately panting for air still and my body was trembling as the memories clouded my mind. Nothing made sense and everything was spinning as my mom’s voice rang loudly in my ears, drowning out everything happening around me and forcing tears leak down my face.
I’m pretty sure that’s when Kale picked me up bridal style and carried me into the kitchen from the glass doors as curious silence fell through the party. The DJ even turned off the music so everyone could watch my limp body being carried into the house.
When I was finally out of his arms, I was sitting in a dining room chair with Kale sitting across from me in another chair.
“Here.” Tommy’s voice penetrated the silence from behind me just as I felt a towel cover my shoulders. I quickly pulled the fabric close to my wet and freezing cold body, which was still trembling immensely and my heart was clenched, refusing my body any air. My lungs were panicking and clenching with my heart as I pathetically gasped for air that wouldn’t come.
“Holly, calm down.” Kale said softly, holding me on his lap and pulling me closer to his body as if he could suck out all of the pain I was feeling with his warmth. I would have been sobbing my eyes out, but I couldn’t breathe at all. I grasped the towel in my fists until my knuckles were white and I still couldn’t breathe, like my airways were blocked and everything was spinning.
“Jackson’s on his way in.” Ryder informed us as he came into the room but I didn’t lift my head from Kale’s bare chest, desperately trying to breathe.
Just as he finished his words, Jackson came storming into the kitchen where we seemed to have gathered a small crowd. He made a B-line for me and crouched down so that he was eye level with me. I knew Jackson knew exactly what was happening, even though it’s only happened a few times, he’s helped me through it before.
“Breathe, Holls.” He demanded, staring intently at me. “Calm down, you have to calm down and breathe.”
I tried, I really did. But it felt like my whole body was just against me getting air into my body. I was heaving by then, only getting in a wisp of air if I was lucky.
“Do you have your inhaler?” He asked when he realized that I wasn’t going to be able to calm down by myself.
I nodded slightly and tried to speak as best as I could. “Pink bag… bathroom… bottom… sink.” Was all I could get out but I assumed they understood because Isaac and Elle, who were keeping their distance but still in hearing range, nodded and simultaneously hurried for the stairs.
It didn’t take them long to return but my rapid, desperate breathing hadn’t improved. Once Isaac handed Jackson the small pink bag that I kept in the bottom drawer of the sink in the bathroom, he quickly ripped open the zipper and frantically pulled out my old inhaler. I don’t have asthma or any kind of illness that calls for me to have an inhaler, but after my mom died and I started getting horrible panic attacks, like the one I was experiencing that moment, the doctor prescribed one to me. I keep it with me for reasons like this, but it’s usually just there gathering dust.
Jackson pulled it out and instantly put it up to my dry lips. I immediately put the tip in my mouth and sucked in as he pressed the button on the top, filling my lungs with much needed air. As my breathing became less jagged, I heard Kale politely asking everybody to get back to the party so that we could be alone. I silently thanked him for understanding that I didn’t want all these people around me, watching me completely go spastic.
After a few pushes from the inhaler, I was panting for air, but my lungs were working again and it was only a matter of half a minute until my breathing was normal again.
“Better?” Jackson asked, sitting the inhaler on the table before looking me in the eyes again.
I nodded frantically and noticed one of his knuckles was cracked and a thin line of blood was trickling away. The rest of his knuckles were dirty and beat up. It didn’t take me long to match the fighting sounds I’d heard at the pool with his dirty knuckles. He can be really stupid sometimes.
He sighed and stood up, kissing me on the top of the head gently. “I’ll be outside if you need me.” He turned and made his way out of the kitchen and through the glass doors before I could voice a ‘thank you’ and I was left alone on Kale’s lap.
“Are you okay?” He asked softly as he rested his chin on top of my head but I could still hear the fear in his voice.
“I’m sorry.” I mumbled. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“Don’t worry about me.” He insisted. “Just calm down.”
“My mom died.” I blurted randomly and I could feel Kale freeze like he didn’t know what to do or say. “It was all my fault.”
“I don’t believe that.” He said softly, pulling me closer to him.
“It’s true.” I told him, preparing to tell him the story that I have never, ever voiced to anybody. Ever. “We were at the beach one year, it was me, Jackson, our dad and mom. I was eight, Jackson was ten. It was an amazing day. Me and Jackson built a really cool sand castle while our parents sat on the towels and laughed about stupid stuff, they were so happy. But then, right when the sun was setting, I couldn’t talk Jackson into going back into the water with me, so I just went out by myself. I swam out into the ocean until the water came up to my chin. My mom called for me to come back so I was about to get closer to the shore when I felt something take me away. It was a rip tide, I found out later. It pulled me under and I couldn’t breathe or find the top of the water, it was like some invisible force was pulling me around and shaking me up. Before it could kill me or do any real damage, my mom was there, saving me from the tide. She pulled me out and I started swimming, but when I looked behind me, I couldn’t see my mom. She was gone. Her head popped up really quick and she just kept screaming at me to keep swimming, that she’d be okay. I was so little, I believed her and I kept swimming. I never saw my mom again.” By the end of my story, I was surprised that I wasn’t a sobbing mess. Sure, tears were sliding down my face, but I wasn’t actually crying. My heart was pounding in my chest as I waited for his reaction to the story. I had to admit, I felt much better letting out that little piece of my past. I nervously clutched his hands in mine so that I didn’t fall apart and I felt Kale’s warmth behind me, helping me calm down so that I didn’t let those memories overwhelm me again and cause me to break down again.
“It wasn’t your fault.” Was the first thing he said. “You have to know that.”
“Everybody tells me that it wasn’t my fault but you weren’t there, I shouldn’t have gone out by myself. I should have saved her.” I squeezed tighter on his hands, hoping that I wouldn’t start crying. I really didn’t want to do that.
“You were eight, Holly.” He insisted.
“Can we not talk about it anymore?” I asked. “I just wanted to get it off of my chest. Let’s go back out to the party.” I hastily wiped my face with the edge of the towel that was still surrounding my body.
“Are you sure? We can stay in for a little longer.” He told me as I shimmied out of my still-soaked shorts.
I nodded, knowing that I desperately needed to get my mind off of my mother before I completely broke down, which I felt was inevitable, but the longer I could hold it off, the better.
He sighed and stood up with me. “I love you, you know that, right?”
I giggled and pulled him close to me by wrapping my arms around his neck. “I love you too.”
We waited a few more minutes to gain the confidence to get back out to the party. However, that few minutes turned into half an hour when Kale put his tongue down my throat for a much needed make out session.
After that, all bad moods were gone and I was completely ready to join the party again. Hand in hand with Kale, he led me out the sliding glass doors and into the thick of the party. Once we got outside, I remembered that I still haven’t had anything to eat all day. I clutched Kale’s hand in mine and we made a bee line for the food table that was far away from the pool.
I filled up with two hotdogs and a load of steak flavored chips which were surprisingly amazing and tasted a lot like steak, only in potato chip form. Kale said he ate before I came out with Andy and Elle, so he only had a handful of original chips.
“You look gorgeous.” Kale told me randomly as I finished my last fry.
I looked up at him and giggled at his random comment. “Gee, thanks.” I giggled.
“Let’s go dance.” He said, grabbing my hand and leading me to the concrete deck where everybody was dancing to Die Young by Kesha.
I pulled Kale close to me and he gripped my waist in his hands as we danced to the beat of the song.
“Thank you for staying with me.” I told Kale. “I know I got really bad in there.”
He moved a hand to caress my cheek and I leaned into his touch. “I’m here for you, always.”
I couldn’t hide the smile on my face. “Why are you so perfect?”
He shrugged a shoulder with a smirk playing on his lips. “It’s what I do, babe.”
I chuckled and playfully rolled my eyes.
“I’m so glad you are okay!” Andy squealed, interrupting our dance and easy conversation. She pushed Kale away from me and wrapped her arms around me tightly.
“We were so worried.” Elle filled in, joining our hug.
“Group hug?” Ryder questioned, coming up behind me and wrapping his broad arms around us three girls.
“I feel left out.” Tommy piped, also joining in on the unexpected group hug.
“Only for you, Holly.” Grant smirked, coming into the awkward group hug.
“Well, peer pressure says yes.” Isaac said as his head appeared behind Elle.
“Okay, then.” Jackson showed up as well until his eyes fixated on something over my shoulder. “Oh, never mind, she’s hot.” He disappeared again to go pick up a poor, innocent girl to my assumptions.
I couldn’t hold back my burst of laughter as it rippled through me and I rested my head on Andy’s shoulder. “You guys are stupid.” I laughed.
“That’s why you love us, babe.” Andy winked at me as everyone dispersed off of my body and the group hug dissolved, much to my relief.
“But seriously, you are okay, right?” Elle asked.
I nodded. “Definitely.” Even though I don’t know if that was the truth, I felt okay in that moment, with everyone around me who cares so much about me and the raging party- I felt okay, at least for now.
She smiled at me before following Isaac to what looked like a beer pong table. Andy had already disappeared with Tommy and Ryder, Jackson, and Grant were attempting to pick up girls. That left me and Kale alone once again and we ended up dancing to Whistle by Flo Rida and then a stream of songs to follow that one.
“So Elle was serious about that triple date thing.” Kale randomly mentioned.
I nodded. “Good, it sounds like fun.”
He chuckled and kissed my nose, causing me to crinkle it. “Okay then.” He sang.
“Where does she want to go for this triple date?”
“Just a picnic on the lake.” He told me. “Does that sound good to you?”
I nodded with a smile. “That sounds amazing.”
He kissed my cheek, making me giggle. “Good, because I don’t think it’s possible to change that girl’s mind.”
I laughed. “Does Andy agree, because I’m pretty sure it’ll be World War III if they don’t agree.”
It was Kale’s turn to laugh. “Andy already agreed, so has Tommy and Isaac.”
“It’ll be fun.” I repeated.
“Sure.” Kale said with a small smile.
“You aren’t excited?”
“I am.” He said quickly. “It’s just, you, Andy, and Elle put together is just like a big ball of never-ending energy. It’s cute, but exhausting.” He admitted.
I grinned at him. “That’s what makes us such awesome people.” I teased.
He nodded and his hands slipped from my waist to the dimple of my back and then down to my butt.
“Kale, my brother is here.” I mumbled into his chest.
“Yeah? So is mine.” He said, playing dumb.
“Perv.” I chuckled.
The hours passed and I danced with Kale, Andy, Elle, and then Kale again. Soon enough, the sun was setting and as the sun started setting more and more, my stomach quenched tighter and tighter. I think Kale noticed by my jerky movements and tense speaking.
“Holly, you’ll be fine.” He assured me as we sat in the grass beside the pool as everybody began putting on their clothes. Girls slipped on some rather fancy looking dresses, guys just covered up their chests with t- shirts or hoodies.
I gave him an unsure frown as I looked up into his blue eyes. “You really think so?”
He nodded and leaned down and kissed me softly. “I know so.”
I sighed. “I hope so.”
“I’m always right.” He told me confidently.
I chuckled and teasingly rolled my eyes.
“Holly.” Andy interrupted me with a soft voice as she looked at me with an excited smile. “It’s time.”
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OH MY GOSH. This is my favorite song in the world right now <3
Vote- Comment- Fan <3
P.S. The slide show to the side is all the outfits that they wore PLUS a cover. Ignore that cover because I changed everything about the sequel. That's not the cover OR the title anymore. If you aren't aware, the sequel is called Cross My Heart now. Okay, thanks!