40.) Airports

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“Are you ready?” Ryder asked as the last of my bags were hauled into the back of the car.

I nodded silently, feeling my stomach twist in a heavy knot. I was actually doing this- I was really leaving. I really wasn’t going to forgive Kale and I really wasn’t going to turn back. It was over.

I’d already said my last goodbyes to everybody and I was standing outside of the car, about to drive to the airport with Ryder. I don’t know why Jackson wasn’t driving me to the airport, but Ryder volunteered in his place.

“Wait.” He said quickly, just as my hand rested on the handle to open the car door. I looked up at him expectantly, waiting for him to speak. “You know that if you don’t say goodbye, you’ll regret it later.”

I knew who he was talking about, but I didn’t want to say goodbye to him- I couldn’t. Just one look in those amazingly blue eyes and I’d give in, I know it.

But I also know that Ryder is right. How can I spend the best two months of my life with the guy and not even say goodbye? No matter how rough things are between us right now, it’s the least I could do.

I sighed and nodded. “I’ll be right back.”

He gave me a reassuring smile and I numbly hurried into the familiar gray house and up the stairs. It would probably be the last time that I ever walked up those stairs and walked through those hallways and when I knocked on the familiar crème door, it’d probably be the last time I saw his face. For a very long time at least.

I inhaled deeply before reaching my fist up and creating three loud thumps against his door. My heart thumping loudly in my chest with each knock.

“If you’re Andy then just go away.” The response was almost instantaneous.

Rolling my eyes, I took one more deep breath before my shaking hand grasped the cold metal knob and, before I could change my mind, I spun it and pushed the door open. I suddenly felt self-conscious about what I was wearing- an old pair of skinny jeans and a t-shirt with my old pair of Converse with my hair in a messy pony tail down my back.

Kale was lying across his bed with his hands raised above his face, examining the tickets I’d given him yesterday.

“You better use those.” I said with a teasing edge to my voice, causing him to quickly sit up and he rested the tickets on his nightstand. “I worked really hard on getting them.”

He stood to his feet and started to walk towards me, my heart broke at the hopeful gleam in his eyes. “I thought you’d be off to the airport by now.”

I nodded. “Ryder’s waiting for me downstairs. I just-“ I choked back what was about to become a sob. “I just, um, I wanted to say goodbye. I know I’m overreacting about this whole thing by leaving and I’m being a coward and stuff but I just don’t know what else to do.”

“You’re not overreacting or a coward or anything like that.” He assured me and I had to wipe a tear away from my face. Good to know he’s Kale, always trying to make me feel as good about myself as possible.

“I wasn’t going to come talk to you but Ryder said I should and he was right. I mean, no matter what’s happened in the past few days, you were still probably the best thing that ever happened to me.” I told him honestly. “And I care about you. I just don’t want you to hate me.”

“I could never hate you, Holly. You know that.”

“I still feel really bad about all of this.” Tears were falling freely down my face but I didn’t bother drying them up.

“So this is it?” He asked with a defeated look on his face.

I nodded slowly. “This is it.” I leaned towards him and kissed his cheek softly, letting my lips linger for a moment. I’d really missed the touch of his skin. “One the bright side,” I added as I walked towards the door. “If I ever do come back, and we make up, the makeup sex will be mind-blowing.”

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