"Really?" Zac snaps. "What the fuck was that then?"
"A mistake," I mutter, pushing past him and heading towards the bedroom. It was definitely a slip up on my part, letting myself fall under his hypnotic gaze, and all for what? A kiss?
Sure, it felt good. Hell, it felt more than good. I felt alive, I felt sexy, I felt needed. But this is Zac, the absolute dickhead of a husband who has never even paid me any real attention.
Not like Sam has for Heidi. Or like Rayden probably has for Lyla...
"What's wrong with you?"
"Nothing! I just don't want to hook up with you Zac!" I retort, refusing to look back at him. "Why don't you go find one of your usual sluts?"
"Are you serious right now?"
"Yes! I don't fucking care. I don't want you so go and find someone who does," I yell over my shoulder, grabbing onto the bedroom door handle and slamming it shut behind me.
"Fuck you, Emilia!" Zac shouts through the door before he lands one heavy fist onto the wood, making me jump.
I fall back onto the bed, listening as he stomps down the stairs, cursing to himself. Clutching my towel to my body I feel a traitorous tear slide down my cheek, reaching up and angrily swiping it away, not understanding why I'm so frustrated and upset.
I don't even like Zac, so why does every little thing he does make me feel ten times more than I do with anyone else? My emotions are heightened around him, and my normal no nonsense attitude seems to fly out the window.
I'm not surprised when I hear the front door open and instantly slam shut, knowing that it'll be a while before Zac shows his face in this house again.
*~*~*
Striding across the street the next evening, I shove my hands into the pockets of my black jeans, my heeled boots clacking on the tarmac, head held high as I ignore the few people walking past me.
Germain wanted the State to provide a community, she wanted one of those beautiful American neighbourhoods that you used to see in the movies where everyone laughs and makes friends. Without anyone actually disagreeing with the State of course...
That's not how it's worked out, unless you were friends before the world went to shit, the majority of people turn a blind eye to anything else that's going on. No-one trusts anyone and I don't blame them, myself only relying on a select few with my secrets.
The State should still be happy though. Every week, without fail, there's a party at someone's house, usually held by the younger couples, the word spreading quickly, most of the married turning up to drink away their troubles unless they have kids to take care of. Strangers barely make conversation, instead sticking with the people they know, not daring to open themselves up to any new potential threat.
It was the same back when we lived in the Girls' house, a party taking place at the nearby park every Friday until the Enforcers eventually turned up one week and broke them up, forbidding anyone from going ever again unless they wanted to spend time in the Cell. Apparently a load of teenagers partying and drinking in a field was not the sort of cultural values they wanted to promote. Who knew.
Knocking on the door of number sixteen, I stand back, waiting as I hear movement on the other side before the door quickly flies open, Sam grinning as he sees me. He steps back, not giving me a second look as he gestures for me to enter.
"Where's Heidi?" I ask, stepping into their cosy living room.
"Upstairs getting ready."
"I brought her the red top that she likes so much," I reply, gesturing towards my bag before I begin to make my way towards the stairs.
"Wait, Mils," Sam calls out, reaching out and grabbing hold of my arm. "I think we need to talk about what happened."
"Sam..." I lower my voice, turning back to face him. I have no idea what to say, I've been dreading this conversation. "I just don't-"
"I never should have done it." He cuts me off. "I'm not going to lie and say I don't like you. I don't really know how I feel... but I know that I like Heidi as well."
"I love her," I reply. "She's my sister."
"I know," Sam acknowledges. "It's why I should never have tried anything with you."
"It's hardly like I stopped you." I shrug, my voice quiet as I look away from him.
"We were both confused."
"Maybe," I reply, having been questioning my decision to kiss Sam for the last two days, regret, panic and uncertainty having addled my brain.
"I don't know why I like you both, but here we are," Sam says softly, "We both know that it's best that I try and ignore any feelings I have for you."
"I agree."
"I'm sorry for kissing you, Mils," he says, a regretful expression taking over his face as he reaches up and scratches the back of his head nervously.
"Don't be," I reply. "You great idiot!" I reach out, shoving him jokingly in the shoulder. "There's no harm done. We've done it before."
"Still..."
"You nearly got out of the friend zone," I tease him, his eyes rolling at my words before I laugh.
"I never said I wanted out!"
"Sure," I joke. "They all do."
"I got confused!" he defends. "It was a mistake!"
"Ouch!" I smirk and he laughs, knowing that I'm joking.
"That was settled after those green highlights in your hair back in Year Nine?" Sam grins. "Even Rayden was running from you back then."
"I seem to remember you were the one who helped me wash them out!" I bite back and he nods.
"I am the best friend you've ever had."
"I wouldn't go that far."
"The day I picked you up from Rayden's house because you were in a drinking battle with Kayla and ended up losing?" Sam reminds me and I wrinkle my nose in disgust at the memory. "You puked in my car!"
"Alright, alright!" I hold up my hands. "You're a good friend."
"Damn right," Sam retorts, slouching down onto his couch as he laughs.
"I'll take this up to Heidi," I exclaim, gesturing to the bag in my hands before walking towards the stairs as he nods.
I already feel as though a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, Sam reassuring me of where our relationship stands bringing me nothing but happiness. He means so much to me, my best friend since we were kids, never abandoning me, despite the numerous times I've given him reason to leave. I'm relieved that our friendship hasn't been destroyed, the rules of the State simply messing with both of our minds.
"Heidi?" I say softly, peeking into their orange coloured bedroom.
"Hi!" she exclaims, shooting up from a pile of clothes.
"I figured you would be having a meltdown." I giggle, pulling the top out of my bag. "I brought this?"
"Oh you lifesaver!" she squeals, reaching out and grabbing it. "Thank you!"
"This room is a mess!" I laugh, looking around at the bra hanging off the lamp, the skirts discarded over the chair.
"Shh!" Heidi hisses as she pulls the top on. "Don't let Sam hear you! He's always moaning at me to clear up. You're lucky you're on your own girl," she tells me playfully and I feel a sudden pang in my chest at her words. Yeah, sure, I'm so grateful to be alone.
"Yep." I nod. "Lucky."
"How does it look?" Heidi asks, grinning as she turns to face me.
"Beautiful." I grin as she throws her brunette hair over her shoulder, the red lace complimenting her small frame way better than it ever does mine.
"Stop!" She giggles. "Let's go!" Heidi grabs onto my hand, pulling me behind her as we descend the stairs.
"Look at the two of you," Sam exclaims, walking out from the kitchen.
"Thank you!" Heidi grins. "Should we go?"
"We are two hours late," Sam snorts. "I'd say yes."
"Shut up! Fashionably late is always best." Heidi giggles, grabbing onto his hand as we exit the house, making our way quickly across the road, the streetlight giving an ominous glow, the house of the so-called party bathed in darkness.
"Who's house is this?" I ask as we step in, noticing that only one lamp in the corner has the task of illuminating the entire room. Looking around, I raise my eyebrows at the masses of entangled couples, the music thumping around us as they grind against each other. If you want to cheat, this is the party to do it and not get caught.
"I'm not sure," Heidi replies, grabbing onto my hand, her eyes wide as she looks around, inching closer to Sam and I.
"Let's get some drinks," Sam suggests, Heidi nodding in agreement before he pulls her forward, arm around her waist as I follow, gently nudging the crowds of people out of the way, pushing my way to the kitchen.
I ignore the dirty looks that are thrown towards me as I walk through, rolling my eyes at one girl as she attempts to push me back. Bitch.
The kitchen isn't much better, people filling every inch of space, my eyes glancing around and spotting Rayden with some of his mates in the corner. I shoot him a quick smile which he immediately returns, a slight flurry of butterflies filling my stomach at his reaction.
"Are cans okay for you girls?" Sam calls over his shoulder and I nod, desperate to just consume any type of alcohol that I can get my hands on.
"Sure!" Heidi exclaims. He quickly passes us two and I look down at the cheap cider, grimacing slightly before I crack it open. I threw up on this brand of cider three years ago after a night of drinking with Rayden, but sadly, with the options being so limited this day and age, I just force whatever alcohol I'm handed down my throat.
"Slow down, Mils!" Sam laughs at me as I take a large chug before pulling it away from my mouth and looking down at it in disgust.
"You still hate Strongbow cider?" Heidi asks and I nod.
"It's horrible."
"I can see if there's something else..." Sam mutters, looking back over his shoulder towards the table of beer.
"It's okay." I assure him, placing the can down on the counter beside me. "I'll drink it."
"You're a better person than I." Heidi giggles. "I can't drink anything that I don't like."
"I don't want to waste alcohol!"
"Me neither." Heidi laughs. "At least now if I open something I don't like I can just hand it to Sam to drink instead."
"Great, so I get all your second hand shit!" Sam retorts as she giggles.
"What are husbands for?"
"Fair point." Sam laughs. "Plus, if I get more alcohol from it, who am I to complain?"
"Exactly!" Heidi grins. "I can think of better benefits though."
"Me too." Sam grins, pulling her against him. I watch as they nuzzle their noses against each other, unable to hide my unease at the public display from my face, immediately looking away and raising my can to my lips.
I mean, I know they're married now but it's only been a week and a half. Are they really close enough to do all this lovey-dovey shit? I guess they are in the honeymoon phase, but I can't quite shake what happened between Sam and I so quickly out of my mind when their PDA is right in front of my eyes. Despite it all, I'm happy that they're happy.
"Mils, are you okay?" Heidi asks, tearing me back to reality. I turn back towards the smiling couple, my eyes wide.
"Yep," I confirm, nodding.
"Are you sure?"
"I'm a bit warm in here," I lie, shrugging before I take another gulp of alcohol. "I'm just going to get some air."
"Are you sure?" Heidi asks, concern appearing on her face.
"Yes!" I assure her. "I'm just a little hot!" I need some space.
Turning away, I attempt to push past the gathered crowds, the level of annoyance rising inside of me every second. I'm fed up of the drunken couples, the people who are draped all over each other. Can't they take a break for five minutes?
I really am grateful that the two people who are closest to me are getting along, that they have clicked the way they have. It's not like I ever wanted Sam, I'm just confused by his actions and seeming uncertainty over who he likes more.
I was hoping it wasn't me, praying for this outcome, but that doesn't mean I'm one hundred percent okay with it. What made him change his mind? What made him even say something to me to start with? Should I tell Heidi?
I grimace as I push past another person, attempting to get back towards the front of the house, the light from the streetlight outside in my sights, yet still so far away.
As I squeeze through the crowds in the living room I realise that there's no dancing at this party, not unless you're here with someone you wish to grind against, and I hardly expect Rayden to openly accept an invitation from me, not considering how crazy Lyla would react.
Finally stepping free of the crowd, I grimace at the silhouette of an entangled couple in front of me. Why can't people just go home and sleep with each other there?
Suddenly the room is bathed in light and I cringe at the sudden change before my heart stops in my chest at the sight of the couple springing apart in front of me from their interrupted make out session.
Zac and Kayla.
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This took me so long to write, for some reason this chapter didn't come easily to me urghhh!! Sorry that it's only a filler this time.
Do you blame Zac for doing this? Emilia did tell him to fuck off hahaaa
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