If you find out I was keeping a lot of things hidden from you, would you forgive me?
It wasn't really my intention. I never wanted to keep anything from you but this thing is different.
I couldn't say things to you because I wanted to forget it. I wanted to bury it deep somewhere far and dark so that nobody will ever get the chance to dig it up. I wanted to erase every bit of trace it has in my life but it doesn't work that way and now it was out in the open—back to haunt me again and make everything hard for me.
It even made me had to let you go.
I know it all sounds so confusing. I could even picture you frowning as you read this letter. Your brows frowning, they could almost align in a single straight line as your eyes absorb these words of mystery I created. Your lips unconsciously pursing together before your front teeth bite down on your lower lip hard that they could cause blood to fall out so stop that, don't hurt yourself silly, I'm not there to steal a kiss to distract you from your habit.
Stop that too—don't let your tears fall. There are already enough dried teardrops in this poor paper I found inside one of the drawers here.
Don't cry, I won't be there to wipe them off your face.
Yeonjun-ah, I'm sorry I kept things from you. But then again I didn't expect it to come back and find me. I left things behind making sure I didn't leave a trail so I was really baffled when—
I have to go now, someone's at my door. I'll write again to you soon, take care of yourself, okay?
I love you, hyung, so much.