✆ Ｔｅｘｔ✆
╔ Regular- (y/n) ╗
╚ Bold- mj ╝
So your boyfriend is Spider-Man
Why am I not surprised
Because he's horrible at hiding the fact
Sorry I didn't tell you but if I did I'm sure an Avenger would blast my head off to the 5th dimension or some shit
Sounds festive
Please don't encourage them
I like having my head attached to my body
So how'd you find out
Well I accidentally called Peter because I like food
Understatement of the year
Shut up, ya big bully
We became like phone besties
And during one of our calls he was out fighting crime at like 3 am
Dumb bitch
Me of Peter??
Both of you
Haven't you ever heard of sleeping?
Is that a foreign country
I don't remember that from geography
I hate you
Thanks! I hate this you person too!!
Anyways, he forgot to put me on mute or whatever and he was like "ah shit I got stabbed 🤭🤠😱"
I agree
Peter definitely talks in emojis
And then Karen was all like "call Mr. Stark you dumb bitch"
And Peter was like "no fack Mr. Stark. I'm a big boy"
I will never understand fack
Because Tony rigs everyone's phone to say [sᴛᴇᴠᴇ ʀᴏɢᴇʀs ᴄᴇɴsᴏʀ] because it's a bad language word
But why only [sᴛᴇᴠᴇ ʀᴏɢᴇʀs ᴄᴇɴsᴏʀ]
Oh shit he's gotten to you too
[sᴛᴇᴠᴇ ʀᴏɢᴇʀs ᴄᴇɴsᴏʀ]
Fack, indeed
And then the Avengers threatened me over text and I sent them memes and gifs in response
And Peter was like "IM SPIDER-MAN🤭"
He could have literally told you any lie but he told you the truth
How is he supposed to be a genius again??
99% of the time he has no brain
And the rest is history
How did coverup Peter's identity the first time??
When Liz and I accused him of being Spider-Man
That's when Harley entered the equation
He dressed up as Spider-Man for us
Now we're besties
He's a nightmare just like you
Aw thank you!! :)
Just saying I'm smarter than you tho
Because I figured it out his identity while he told you it
No, I'm smarter
Agree to disagree
Agree to disagree about agreeing to disagree
Roller coasters were invented to distract Americans from sin
That's a horrible way to change topics
DiStRaCtIoN
Hey! Are you calling me garbage??
No, why would I do that
How about 5?
Wear something sexy 😘😘
Of course, babe 🥵🥵
You make me feel things 😳💦
Scandalous 🥴
I'll come pick you up
Show you how a real man does it 💪
Can't wait 💋
But for real
I'm coming to pick you up
I'm not taking no for an answer
Oh shit
I actually have to get ready??
Wear something sexy ahahaha👙
Gonna wear a hoodie
That's hot 🥵
Please stop with the emojis
Or else I'll strangle you
Sounds kinky
Shut tf up
Fine
I'll be at your place in 20
What are you even planning
I have no clue!!
Just winging it
Trust me, it'll be fun
I trust you as far as I can throw you
You can't throw me tho???
Oh...
Nothing dangerous, I promise
You better
Swear on my heart
I thought you had no heart
Ouch, MJ
I thought we had something special
Whatever loser
I'm going to go get ready