Anurag:
I was so thrilled that I couldn't hold my smile back, even Komolika noticed my glee today and asked me what was the cause, I managed to tell her I was excited because Diya's summer vacations were starting and I was looking forward to spend more time with her. Truth be told, I was excited because, I was hoping to see Sneha today, I had overheard Prerna talking to her over the phone, telling her she was going to pick her up from the airport; I realised my plan had worked and Diya had managed to convince Prerna into bringing Sneha home.
I had my plan set, I was going to go home from work by afternoon today, bake the best batch of fresh peanut butter cookies and keep it ready – when my cutie pie would walk in, I would give them to her myself, feed her myself – no matter how Prerna or Komolika reacted, no one would be able to stop me today, I was going to be with my baby girl today.
I was taken aback in the evening when Prerna came home, I was sitting in the hall all evening impatiently, trying to catch the first glimpse of Sneha, but when she walked in I was surprised. I was expecting to see a little girl with her, a girl slightly older than my Diyu – but the girl that walked in with her was much older – she seemed like she was fifteen-sisxteen and she looked strangely familiar. Before I could process further, I saw Diyu run towards Prerna and ask the same question that was going on in my mind.
"Aunty, is this Sneha?" Diya asked excitedly, but I saw Prerna's smile falter immediately and what replaced it was torment and grief, somehow I couldn't place those emotions with regard to Sneha, I was confused.
"No Diya, this is my daughter Cookie" she replied stiffly as my jaw dropped in understanding – of course she seemed familiar to me. Diya's attention was rapt on Cookie and she forgot to probe further on Sneha as they left for their rooms, leaving me to deal with the sense of my heart crushing inside me. Of course she would never bring Sneha here – what was I thinking, why'd I even hope?
Prerna:
I was with Cookie in her room while she was arranging her wardrobe, she was going to stay with me for a few weeks, it was on Mr. Babaj's insistence and I had agreed – Cookie was after all my only source of happiness and distraction from the glum pain of losing Sneha. However today my mind was wrapped around Anurag – Diya had mentioned Sneha before him today – he didn't so much as bat an eyelid, didn't he even feel a little remorse for killing his own daughter? He didn't space a second in pain or remembrance – was he even human?
Later that day Diya had come to me again, it was oddly endearing to see she was a little jealous of all the attention I was giving Cookie, she wanted my attention solely for herself.
"Aunty, when will Sneha come? Her summer vacations have started? I want to meet her!" her innocent question was tearing open my heart but what could I tell this little child, she knew nothing.
"Diya, Sneha won't come here, ever. I told you nah, she stays far away? But whenever I meet her, I will tell her about you" I said trying hard to let my voice crack. She looked disappointed first but her eyes lit up again.
"Wait, I have something for her, let me get it – give it to her from me when you meet her next!" she said and suddenly dashed out of my room with a broad smile.
Anurag:
I was in the study when Diya came rushing to me.
"Baba, baba, where is the cookie jar? The one you kept for Sneha? I need it now.." she asked earnestly; my eyes went wide! Did Sneha really come here, did Prerna really get her?
"In the kitchen, let me get it for you" I said as I jumped out of my place and dashed to the kitchen. As I handed her the jar, I asked her for Sneha's whereabouts but she just ran to Prerna's room and in the first time in eight years, I let go of all plans, masks and inhibitions as I ran behind her to meet my cutie pie – my hard was thumping so loud in excitement and exhilaration that I was finding it hard to breathe! We didn't need to reach Prerna's room, she was out there in the corridor and she looked surprised when she saw us running to her. She looked at Diyu questioningly and asked, "What?" before she turned to look up and eye me – she must have been confused to see me smiling from ear to ear.
"Aunty, this is for Sneha, baba has baked them especially for her, when I told him she likes them – please give them to her when you see her!" Diya said gleefully and handed her the jar which Prerna held out of reflex, but one look at her face and my heart froze, for I saw death in her face – a very unholy feeling started to seep in and for some reason an unknown fear was clutching my heart – I would have understood the look of rage, betrayal, dismissal at our gift, but this? For the first time a dreadful question came to my heart, was Sneha alright?
"Diya, go to your room" was all that came out from her mouth as her eyes began to smoulder and turned unusually dry, she didn't seem alive and her voice was icy cold. Diya must have sensed something too, since she dashed away from there without another word – now it was just her and me.
"How dare you Anurag?" she whispered spilling hate, her voice made a chill run down my spine.
"It's just a jar of cookies Prerna" I tried to respond.
"Are you really a human?" she asked again, disbelief clear in her eyes, and tears welling up in her eyes.
"Prerna...I thought it's okay to.." I began but she cut through my appeal midway.
"You actually thought it is okay to get back at me this way, just because you aren't being able to beat me professionally? This is how you decided to play the game? Involve Sneha!? Anurag I know she meant nothing to you, but for me she was my life, she still is – Anurag how can you be so damn miserable?? You are such a monster Anurag Basu, an abhorrent monster" she was choking as tears flowed incessantly and before I could respond, she left right after tossing the jar of cookies on to the floor.
As I saw the jar smash and the cookies crumple, something in me broke, I couldn't control my tears either, as I called after her.
"These were just cookies Prerna, I just wanted my cutie pie to have them, to know I love her and that her Papa misses her – I haven't seen her in eight years Prerna, I just wanted to be a little closer to her" but Prerna was gone by then and I was alone sitting on the floor of the corridor with tears that were now out of control – my hopes of seeing Sneha was shattered. I don't know how long I sat there, before a light palm touched my shoulder, I turned around to see Cookie looking down at me, her eyes were glistening with tears – I quickly rubbed off my tears and tried to get up but she pushed me down and sat in front of me on the floor.
"Cookie, what are you.." I began.
"Anurag uncle, you really don't know?" she asked unable to mask her curiosity.
"Know what?" I asked surprised.
"About Sneha?" as soon as she said that, my heart stopped.
"What about Sneha?" I asked now not being able to meet her eyes, I dreaded hearing it, something was surely wrong with her, something I never knew, for the brief few seconds I waited for Cookie to talk, I must have offered a thousand prayers to keep Sneha safe, but when she spoke, my whole world collapsed before me in a flash, and I knew nothing else will ever matter in my life.
"Uncle, Sneha never survived. She is gone for eight years now, there was a fire in the..." I never heard further, I couldn't, the first sentence had wiped light out of my life. My Sneha, my cutie-pie never made it? I didn't know this for eight years now? Prerna was dealing with this loss alone? And she really blames me for this loss? She thinks I killed Sneha? Now her deterrence, she unexplainable hate, her unquenchable thirst to destroy me made sense – it finally made sense. But she didn't need to go through all this, she just needed to tell me the truth – what can be a bigger defeat for me? What can be worse than being a father and silently loving and praying for a child for eight years without knowing that the child is not alive?
I, Anurag Basu was truly defeated that day. Nothing mattered, no one mattered. I didn't care about anything in the world – I was kneeling today – Prerna had won
***
Prerna:
My tears flowed all the way to the venue I was driving to. I knew Anurag didn't care about me or Sneha, I always knew that – but this gesture was beyond indifference it was cruel hate. Baking cookies for Sneha his dead child just to humour his loving daughter? So far I was in two minds, I was in a dilemma, whether to involve Diya in this game of hate but today I was sure – Anurag made that choice for me – He involved Diya in this – now there was no looking back.
I had learned previously that Anurag's dream project was the construction of a kid's exclusive mall in the heart of the city and to open it on Diya's seventh birthday as a gift to her. I was going to ruin that, and that was exactly what I was out to do today – freeze the commercial land and declare it as a SEZ, then let the media and the court bring down his thousand crore dream for Diya – I was sure Anurag hadn't seen that coming. I knew he'd break at this, I was finally aiming at his heart, he would kneel and Sneha would face justice.
That day when I had returned home, I went into Anurag's bedroom – I wanted Komolika to be there, but she wasn't there unfortunately. He was alone and I think he already had gotten the news, his face was dark, eyes red, shoulder drooping, it looked like he was in shock, much to my delight he looked defeated.
"Anurag" I called, and his head lifted up a little in response, he was still looking at the floor. I continued, "Judging by your looks, you already have the news, but here is the official file – the commercial plot for Diya's mall is now officially SEZ, come out of this one and show me. And this time, I won't even trade to help you out, I promise" I smiled broadly as he finally got up to look at me, his eyes had dried tears around it, lips were dry, seemed like he had wept to the point of dehydration; my smile faltered, why wasn't this making me happy? I was about to say something when he finally spoke.
"Prerna..." but he couldn't continue further
"Prerna.." he tried again, but again nothing else came out, in the next moment he crashed down on the floor and knelt before me and wept like a part of him had gone missing, he clutched legs and wept into my knees. A voice inside my head spoke out loud this time, I have finally hit him in the right place, he was kneeling and weeping at my feet – it didn't give me happiness at all, neither the peace I thought it would – but in my heart I knew, Sneha had received her justice today, the mother in me was at peace.
In Anurag's ugly game of money and power, where I lost my Sneha, I had defeated him today, my mission was over. I silently closed my eyes and whispered, "This was for you my baby girl, Sneha" then I jerked myself away from Anurag's grip and walked out of their lives, leaving him defeated, kneeling, broken and dead from inside, like how I have been for the last eight years.