'What?' Morgan grew annoyed, standing up to confront you.
'Again? Are you serious?' Prentiss worried.
'Oh my god,' Garcia was nearly in tears.
'Look I know that this is bad, I'm very clearly aware, but right now Hotch is my only concern and I am going to say that this is now an active investigation,' you said honestly.
'What happened, Beck?' and all the team were locking down on you, they were all agitated and assuming this was your fault. Maybe it was, but for now, finding him was your only aim.
'Last night, Hotch and I went on a date. We had the exact same meal and the exact same wine. Me and Reid went to Hotch's apartment before heading back to the bars for the case earlier today. Reid identified that his place was contaminated with carbon monoxide and that it was from the vent in the room. There was,' you paused, 'A card in the vent,' and you gently pulled an envelope out from your back pocket, reaching in and getting the card, laying down on the table. The team all leaned towards the card and Rossi picked it up.
'Smile, what's that supposed to mean?' he troubled himself. You looked back at the envelope which had the first card you received inside. You glanced back up.
'Beck?' JJ said which made you sigh and pull out the second card.
'The 11th of August, why's that so important?' Morgan interrogated you harshly. Your eyes sunk back a little into your head as you glared at him and he backed off partially. Not a single person in the room knew about that day except Hotch.
'That was the day my parents were killed in a car accident. Accident,' you sneered, 'It was no accident. The driver of that truck was looking right at me when I came around in the back of my parent's car. He was smiling, but nobody believed me. Me and my brother survived,' you recalled the incident, leaving all of them wondering.
'Brother?' Prentiss asked.
'You never told me about a brother,' JJ confirmed, and some heads shook.
'Just before I got this job, we were living together. He shot himself,' you stalled looking them all in the eyes, 'In front of me,' and the aggression towards the secrecy rose. In two swift motions, you rolled up your sleeve to reveal just one of the many scars.
'It was the first time he was successful, but not the first time he tried,' you stared them down. Garcia let the tears fall and you noticed Spencer had moved closer to you; his shoulder was touching yours and you looked up at him. Thank god somebody's understanding.
'I am now offering you all the opportunity to walk away from this investigation, I don't expect...' and you were motionless as David Rossi stood up and left the room.
'Where are you going?' Morgan asked, clearly, he was in.
'To tell Strauss that this is our top case for the time being,' he called back, and you breathed a sigh of relief- the tears sinking away. They all began rushing around, without even considering that this was their free time. They were dedicated to their chief and to finding the person who made you happy.
It was dark, when usually lit, as he was always in there. Standing in the doorway of his office, you stared at his name badge. Aaron Hotchner, what a stern sounding name, you thought parallel to the things you assumed about him just over a year ago. Eyes scanning the whole room, you saw his empty chair and the files he laid out ready to start working on. Really, you couldn't sit and wait around, but as much as you tried to walk away, your feet remained glued to the floor. You were completely still, and as much as you wanted to cry, you couldn't.
'Do you think she'll be okay?' Reid whispered to Morgan.
'I don't know, kid. For the foreseeable future, she'll have to be.'
Heading back into the briefing room, you stood in the entrance and looking at them all, you smiled instead of crying- you were determined to hold it in for a while.
'We've nicknamed the unsub 'Smiler' because of what you described and what he left you,' JJ looked as you entered- simultaneously, other heads turned. You nodded, swallowing tensely. Wanting to find comfort anywhere, somewhere, you fiddled with your hand- only wanting to remember how he held it the night before.
[ 'Hold my hand, Duckie, I've got you.' 'I'm so happy you're here.' 'Put the knife down.' ]
Memories were suffocating your mind but all you did was stare at the floor. There was nothing there, but you just kept looking.
'Beck. Beck?' Morgan asked, and asked again. Were you in there? You snapped from oblivion and looked at him.
'You need to pick somebody to do a cognitive memory test,' he said, flicking a pen towards the people around him.
You rolled your lips a little and answered in a split second, 'Spence,' and he got up from his seat.
'Close your eyes. I'm right here,' he said. Feeling like a suspect, you snapped.
'I know what to do,' you snarled, followed by, 'Sorry,' when Spencer looked demeaned.
'Go back to the moment he arrived to pick you up, is there anything off about him?' Reid questioned.
'No, he was obviously a little nervous and a lot happier than usual, but nothing that would suggest he was worried.'
'Good, now what about the walk to the restaurant or during the meal? What about then?' he probed.
'There was a loud noise on the way to the restaurant, but we dismissed it. That's when we held hands for the first time,' and you were plunged back into the moment, seeing yourself in the dress and how nice he looked in his outfit. Again, seeing nothing out of the ordinary, you watched the meal unfold and saw no issue with the wine, food or waiters. Nada.
'The theme park?' his final question was out.
'We walked along the pier, it was a little cold, but I didn't say anything,' you began, remembering how he would later wrap his arm around you as you watched the stars. Following the queue for the ride, you observed any person that looked out of place and met yourselves as memories at the front of the line. Wait, you'd seen this man before. It was then the penny dropped. Because you were so wrapped up in the night, you had also let your guard down and brushed off the fact the operator was smiling. Hotch was looking at the sky, but something about that man made you uncomfortable. You gasped; Reid was clutching you, 'I saw him'
'Who?'
'That man. It's him. He was right next to us,' you cried a little and Reid, in all honesty, didn't know what to do.
'Do you think you can describe him enough for a composite sketch?' he lightly asked.
'He ermm- he had square glasses and a moustache. White, his hair was white but as an operator he had a cap on...' you closed your eyes again, trying to see anything else. A scar? 'Spence there's a small round scar on his left temple, it could be from the car crash when I was a kid,' you spoke fast, moulding together the words.
'You did well,' Reid said, gripping a pad with a quick doodle on and rapidly getting up, nearly running to the team.
'We've got something,' he yelled, slamming the pad on the desk and reciting what you told him; you followed shortly behind.
'We have a sketch, but we need more than that. What else have we got to go off?' Morgan rationalised.
'If two of us go to the theme park, maybe his employer recognises the sketch?' Prentiss built it up.
'And even if he's using a fake alias, I can probably track down the real one with enough evidence and- and articles on collisions on that date,' Garcia added.
'We shouldn't get this out to the media. He might hide away,' JJ weighed it up.
Rossi leaned towards the table, 'Surely, he would've been injured in a head on collision. If we can determine his age around the time of the crash, we could cross that with any patients treated in hospitals in a 20-mile radius of the scene.'
You breathed and heard Hotch's voice echo through your system. He needed you now more than ever and you had to think in clarity.
'Morgan, Prentiss go to Hotch's apartment and just sweep it over a final time. We could've missed something yesterday. Reid and JJ you'll go to the park, question his employers- they can't be entirely useless. I'll be with Rossi,' you ordered, and nobody was left in the room but you, or so you thought.
'We'll find him, Beck. I promise,' Rossi spoke, resting a hand on your shoulder. You stared at his seat as the Italian walked away, wishing he'd never left you in the first place.