------- ELAIA -------
I'm going back to the facility tomorrow. In the weeks that have followed since I accidentally broke the rules, I haven't been allowed to leave the estate, or volunteer at the camp. I haven't been allowed to do anything.
Kreston has tried everything to get my father to change his mind about sending me in for re-education. Nothing has worked.
Father says that I've forgotten my place and that I need to be reminded of where I belong, but it's not true. I haven't forgotten my place!
Have I?
I think back to the morning that I interrupted my father and brothers at the table. I think back to Kres and I's conversation the night he asked me to be his.
Girls aren't supposed to say things like that. We're not supposed to question the city council and their decisions. We're not supposed to interrupt our fathers and brothers while they're having a discussion. And we're most certainly not supposed to mention Amoraia Emberlin.
Have I become a rebel?
Maybe Father is right. Perhaps I have forgotten my place in society. Maybe going back to the facility is for my good. I should try to make the best of this.
But no matter what I do I can't shake the feeling that I was I right to correct them. And why, if they teach us about Amoraia Emberlin and her inferno at the facility, aren't we allowed to talk about her?
There's a knock at my door and I go to answer it. Mother greets me and I open the door wider to let her in.
"Trinia is here to see you, dear," she says, stepping into my room. "Should I send her up?"
"No, I'll come down," I reply. This shocks Mother. I've hardly left my room since the day Father told me he was sending me back to the facility.
Tears glisten in Mother's eyes. "I wish you weren't going back," she says, almost as if I made this decision myself.
"If I had any say in the matter, I wouldn't be going back," I tell her, keeping my words low. If Father heard me he'd have a fit.
Mother chokes back a sob and I take her hand in mine. "Everything is going to be alright," I try to tell her even though I know that things aren't going to just be alright.
Graduating from the facility once was difficult enough. I'm not sure I'll be able to graduate a second time, but if I don't, I know that I'll end up in a terrible place.
A place so horrible and vile that very few people even know of it's existence, and less know of what actually goes on there. I don't know what they call this place. I don't know where it is, or what it is.
I only know that it does exist because sometimes girls go missing. Nobody talks about the missing girls. Nobody mentions their names. Missing girls are never seen again. But I know, somewhere deep down inside, that they're not dead.
"Best not to keep Trinia waiting," Mother says, wiping at a stray tear.
I nod in agreement, squeezing her hand one more time before heading out of my bedroom and down the stairs. Trinia is in the foyer, dressed in a green gown, her red hair braided and pulled into a bun. I smile down at her from the landing before hurrying down the rest of the steps to greet her.
She pulls me into a tight embrace. "I wanted to come see you before you leave," she says, her words laced with sadness.
"I'm glad you did," I say, finally pulling away from her.
"There was no way you were leaving me without a proper goodbye," she jokes, making me laugh.
"Shall we go out to the garden?" I ask her, tucking one of my blond curls behind my ear.
She nods. "Yes," she agrees, glancing behind me nervously. I look over my shoulder to find Father watching us from down the hall and a shiver crawls down my spine. We've hardly said two words to each other since the 'incident'.
I should acknowledge him. But I don't want to, so I ignore his presence, leading Trinia out to the garden instead. What is he going to do? He's already sent me back to the facility. There's not much else he can do.
We take a seat on one of the concrete benches, taking in the sweet scents of summer. A moment of heavy silence passes between us as I realize that the last time I was at the facility, Trinia was there with me. We graduated together. I don't know what I'll do without her.
"I'm going to miss you," Trinia finally says, sniffling as she wipes at her tears with a handkerchief.
"I'm going to miss you too," I reply, choking back a sob. "I don't want to go back," I whisper before dissolving into tears. Trinia holds me as I cry on her shoulder. when all my tears are used up, I pull away from her, wiping at my eyes. I'm not sure how much time has passed. Maybe it's been an hour, or only a minute, but it doesn't matter.
Trinia reaches into her pocket, pulling out a small pink box tied with white lace ribbon. "I brought you something," she says, gently setting the little box in the palm of my hand.
"What's this?" I ask, glancing curiously in her direction before pulling on the tails of the ribbon. The lace falls away from the box, fluttering into my lap as I remove the lid to reveal a small bronze pin. It looks old and a bit tarnished, with a field of flowers etched into the metal. Turning it over, I find that there are letters carved on the back and I brush my thumb over them, wishing I could understand what they say.
"It's beautiful," I tell Trinia, pulling her in for another hug. "Thank you."
"I'm not sure what it means, or what it's for but I found it in my grandmother's jewelry box one day. She said I could have it," she tells me. "It reminded me of you."
I smile at her, wishing I could take it with me to the facility, but the list of things we're allowed to bring is short, and specific so it will have to stay here until I get back.
"I'll cherish it forever," I say, delicately placing the pin back in its box before sliding it into my skirt pocket for safekeeping. The rest of my time with Trinia goes by too fast. We laugh and cry together. Mother brings us tea, and then before I know it Trinia has to leave. Once she's gone, I trudge up the stairs to my room, partly because I don't want to see my father right now, and partly because I need to pack. But mostly, because I don't want to give my father the opportunity to scold me for not acknowledging his presence earlier.
I pull my small white suit case from the top of my closet, packing the few things I'm allowed to bring. Once I'm done, I take a seat at the edge of my bed, pulling the pin Trinia gave me from my pocket. I pull it out of the box, rubbing my finger over the textured metal surface. I'm afraid I'll lose it, it's so small. Small enough that I could probably sneak it into the facility.
Then, an idea comes to me. I could smuggle it into the facility, and nobody would even notice. It would be so easy. Besides, I need something to remember Trinia by while I'm gone. If they do find it, I could get into a heap of trouble. But it's worth the risk. Right?
Before I can change my mind, I click my suit case back open, placing the pin safely inside.
Just as I'm clicking the latches on the suit case closed, Father stops in front of my open door and I look over at him, hoping he didn't see what I just did. "All packed?" He asks apprehensively.
I nod. "Yes," I reply, glancing down at the ground. I should smile at him but I can't bring myself to do it. There's nothing for me to smile about. He's sending me away because of one sentence- one tiny mistake. How could I smile at him?
Finally, Father sighs. "Elaia, I know you're upset with me," he starts, stepping further into my room. "But I can't just leave your behavior unchecked," he tries to reason, taking a seat beside me at the edge of the bed. "Something had to be done."
"Well, it didn't have to be this," I reply, my words barely a whisper as I try to hold back my tears. I feel like the emptiness inside of me is going to consume me.
Father sighs again, running his fingers through his short, black hair. He doesn't speak for a long time, and I'm dreading what will come out of his mouth next. I don't want to hear anymore lectures about how I've forgotten my place, or about how unruly I've been acting as of late. I don't want to hear any of it. Not from him, not from Mother, not from anyone.
"Perhaps I did overreact a little," he admits, meeting my gaze.
His words shock me. Did my father just admit that he was wrong? "Can you stop this?" I ask eagerly, hoping that he can. Hoping that it's not too late.
But he shakes his head. "I'm afraid I can't," he tells me sadly.
Then what good is admitting that you overreacted? It's what I want to tell him, but I don't. "Oh," I reply because it's all I can think to say that wouldn't sound disrespectful.
"I'm going to miss you," he says gently, taking my hand in his. Sure you will. You hardly speak to me. You didn't even really give me a chance to explain myself. You didn't care about how I felt on the matter, or that it could completely change my life.
And now you're telling me that you're going to miss me? Yeah right. You're just saying that because you have to. If you were going to miss me so much you wouldn't have just decided to send me away. A stray tear slides down my cheek.
"I'll miss you too," I reply as another tear falls.
"Please don't cry," Father says, and he sounds like he's unsure of what to do with himself. When I say nothing, he pulls me into a hug. "I'm sorry, Elaia," he tells me, but it's not a genuine apology. It's the kind you give someone when you don't know what else to say.
"It's okay," I lie as I pull away from him. But things aren't okay. He's my father. He's supposed to be the one to protect me, but he's the one who's hurt me instead. He gives me a small smile before getting up and leaving my room.
When he's gone, I shut the door, crawl under the covers, and cry myself to sleep.
-------
The next morning, Kres comes to tell me goodbye.
"How long will you be gone?" He asks me as we walk through the gardens, holding hands.
"If I'm lucky, ten weeks," I reply sadly. I'm already dressed in the stiff white uniform of the facility, awaiting the handlers that will come and pick me up in an hour or so.
"I don't think I can wait ten weeks to see you again," Kres admits, leaning over to press a kiss to my temple.
"Maybe they'll let you visit," I suggest, though I know it's not likely. They wouldn't want me getting distracted.
"As much as I would love to visit you, I doubt they'll allow me to," Kres replies sadly, brushing his thumb over my engagement ring.
I nod because I know he's right. I catch sight of my father in his office on the second floor through the window, and I decide that now would be as good a time as any to bring it up. "I was thinking we could move the wedding date forward."
Kres quirks one of his eyebrows at me in question. "Oh really?" He asks curiously. "Why is that?"
"Because the less time I have to spend in my father's house after I get back from the facility the better." My words are ice cold and I think they frighten Kres a little.
"It's already only six months away," he counters, stopping to turn towards me. He takes both my hands in his, concern painted across his features.
"So let's make it three," I reply simply.
Kres sighs heavily. "He really upset you, didn't he?" He asks, a hint of anger slipping into his words.
"He didn't just upset me, Kres. He hurt me," I reply, choking on my words. "He's my father. He's supposed to protect me, and he didn't even ask how I felt about the matter and," I stop myself, knowing that it doesn't matter. No amount of protest from me is going to change the fact that I'm going back to the facility. Nothing I say is going to change the fact that my father doesn't truly care about me.
"Alright," Kres finally agrees, pulling me into a tight embrace. "We'll move the date foward."
"Thank you," I say, my words dripping with relief as I wrap my arms around him. I rest my head against his chest, the scent of pine filling my nostrils.
"You're welcome, my dear," he whispers, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. I wish we could just stay this way forever. I don't want to let go of him. I don't want to leave him. "Don't worry, Elaia," Kres whispers in my ear, and I think I hear him sniffle. "I'll always protect you."
"I know you will," I reply. I hear the sound of the gates swinging open in the distance and I know that it's time for me to leave. "They're here," I say, finally pulling away from Kres.
He nods solemnly, the pain evident in his eyes. He takes my hand in his once more as we walk towards the house. When we reach the back door Kres stops, turning to me again. "I love you, Elaia," he tells me.
"I love you too, Kres," I reply, tears welling up in my eyes. My heart is breaking at the thought of spending ten weeks away from him.
"I love you more than the stars," we whisper in unison before laughing a little. Then we head inside where my family is waiting in the foyer for me, along with two handlers, dressed in their long black coats. I shudder at the sight of them.
I take a moment to say goodbye to each of my family members but I hold onto my mother the longest. She cries on my shoulder and I assure her that everything will be alright.
I say goodbye to Kres last, holding him until the handlers force me to let go. With tears in my eyes, I give them all one last smile, which is mainly aimed at Kres. And then, I pick up my small suit case and follow the two handlers out the door.
------- Author's Note -------
Hello, Loves! What did you think of this chapter? Do you think Elaia is going to get in trouble for taking the pin with her?
I'd love to hear what you all think! I'm not going to lie, this chapter brought to tears a couple of times. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Thank you all for continuing to read We Are Wildflowers and don't forget to vote!
Stay Inspired!
- M I R A N D A