Dedicated to nfrshatkh.
"When we forgive, we don't forget. Well, unless you have amnesia or something..." by meeeeee
I fastened the belt on my coat and walked in shoulders held high.
The building was still the same as I'd imagined, only with the addition of Christmas decorations.
Walking to the elevator, I noticed some people stopped to gossip as I passed by them.
I didn't bother to listen to what they had to say, I had come here for a purpose.
I entered the elevator and pressed the button for the fifth floor where I was to find her.
I had come a long way since Thanksgiving.
It took me three weeks to get myself in order and register for therapy, again.
So far, my therapist and I had met just twice, but it brought me to a decision which led me to this building.
Ding.
I stepped out of the elevator and made my way to her office.
Based on my calculations, she had her break in the next thirty minutes.
Stepping into her office, I bypassed a little girl and her mom who seemed to have just been in the very room I planned on entering.
As I watched the little girl speak animatedly with her mom, I felt my heart break all over again.
I missed Emily so much. Time didn't lessen the pain at all.
"I'm sorry Miss, you can come back in an hours time." Her secretary told me.
She hadn't seen my face yet, I was still watching the door the little girl just walked through.
"Miss... Miss... I said-" she stopped speaking as I turned around.
"Oh! Dr Wilson, I'm so sorry. I'll let Dr Russell know you're here." She scrambled to get to her phone before I stopped her.
"It's okay. I'll just knock." I told her.
I arrived her door and took a deep breath in before knocking three times.
"Come in." I heard her say.
Her voice sounded so tired it pained me.
I gently opened the door and found her going through a file, which I guessed belonged to the little girl who just walked out.
"Give me a second please." She still didn't raise her head up as she spoke.
I felt my eyes prick with tears as memories of Emily in this same office flooded my mind.
I looked back to her form in her seat and couldn't help the tears as I thought of all the pain I had caused her.
"Okay, all done. You have my- Kendra?!" She definitely wasn't expecting to see me.
"Hey..." I said quietly.
'Hey.' , that is all you have to say to her???!!! My subconscious mocked.
"Kendra, what are you doing here?" She asked with a tired look on her face.
The floodgates opened as I spoke.
"Kenna, I am so sorry, I know it won't change what I did and said but I'm really sorry. Believe me, I was in so much pain I just wanted to die and yet I couldn't. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry, I am so sorry..."
As I rambled on about how sorry I was, the tears kept flowing.
Kenna left her seat and came around to hug me.
I didn't even notice she was crying too.
I had hurt her in a way which was unforgivable to me. Yet, here she was holding me as I cried.
"I'm sorry Kenna, I understand if you hate me now-"
"Shut up." She smiled.
She gently wiped away my tears.
"I can never hate you Kendra. You're like a younger sister to me."
"But Kenna, I blamed you for Emily's death, I deprived you of closure, you didn't even attend her funeral in full, because of me." I sniffed.
"Forget it all. I'm just glad my Kendra is back." She cooed.
I laughed.
This was the first time in almost two months that I laughed.
She joined me in laughing.
When we both came down from that laughing high, I spoke again.
"I know I'm not completely off the hook yet..."
She chuckled.
"You know me so well." She walked back to her seat.
"So," I also took a seat, "what do I have to do?"
"You have to accompany me somewhere." She pursed her lips.
"Done! Is that all?"
"You have to buy my lunch for a week. Seeing as we have the same break periods, I don't think it will be a problem."
"Uhm... it might be a problem Kenna. The board was considering my termination, but once I explained the circumstances, they placed me on an indefinite leave."
"What? How could they do that, for Christ's sake, you lost your daughter." She argued.
"And I also slacked off on work, didn't file for an appropriate leave, left my patients hanging and so much more. I understand them."
"I am so sorry Ken."
"Don't be, it's my punishment. Anyway, since lunch won't work, how about dinner at my place."
She seemed to think about it.
"You get to escape your family and at the same time eat homemade delicious food."
"I don't know..." she trailed.
"For a month and I'll even allow you to sleepover sometimes." I bargained.
"Deal!" She grinned.
"Great, so where do I have to accompany you to?" I asked.
She stood up and grabbed her car keys.
"You'll see."
As Kenna drove, our destination became clearer as I watched the environment through the window.
When the car stopped, I already knew where we were.
I opened the passenger door and stepped out just as she did.
"I haven't been here since the funeral." I bluntly stated.
She gave me a little smile.
"I know. Come on, let's go. You promised." She urged.
I sighed and held her hand as we walked through the gates.
It was as quiet as a graveyard. That's because it is one!.
Thank you subconscious, I already knew that.
Could've fooled me.
Ugh!
St Matthew's Cemetery and I had become old friends a long time ago.
It housed two people whom were very dear to me.
Kenna made a stop at Belinda's grave first.
"Hi B," she begun with a sad smile. "Look who I dragged in. She seems to be back to the Kendra we all know and love. You were right." She chuckled. "Anyway, we'll just be on our way to see Em. Later B." She touched the gravestone for a bit before she motioned for me to speak up.
I gingerly walked to her gravestone and knelt before it as I sat on my heels.
"Hey sis," I wiped a tear. "I know I disappointed you these past weeks and I am so sorry."
"I couldn't bear the pain. I have no idea how to even face Emily," I smiled. "So, if anything goes wrong, you blame Kenna for bringing me here."
"Shut up. Nothing will go wrong." She smiled.
I looked up at her, "I hope so."
I glanced down at the gravestone again, "bye sis. I promise to visit soon." And with that we walked to Emily's gravestone.
My feet became terribly heavy by the time we arrived.
I took note of the fresh peonies that laid on her gravestone.
"Seems like Emily has an admirer." Kenna said. "An admirer who seems to be regular." She added as we took note of the dead and almost dead peonies.
"It's Ethan." I told her.
Ethan always brought peonies for Emily when she was in the hospital, I just knew it was him.
"Let's just forget it, and focus on why we're here okay?" Kenna said as she noticed the look on my face.
I nodded.
A badge of tears and many promises later, Kenna and I made our way back to the car.
"Thank you for bringing me here. I needed it." I told her.
"You're welcome. I'll see you at dinner." She replied.
"Of course. So, Forgive me yet?" I pouted.
She laughed.
"Of course Ken. I forgive you."
I smiled, but it quickly faded when she uttered her next words.
"Now, you just have to get Ethan to forgive you."
Hello there lovelies.
Please please please vote.
Much love, Joy.