Alok Raj Gupta believed in perfection.
Being an only child, he had grown up under the razor-sharp eyes of not only his father, but also his grandfather, who's regime was perhaps the most difficult of all. The Second World War had taken a rather heavy toll on then flourishing Gupta empire, to the point that many assumed –quite gleefully– that it would be the end. It was his grandfather's sheer will and then his father's ambition after that, that had truly saved them all.
So, it went without saying that when Alok came of age, he had very big shoes to fill.
In the initial days, his ever-calculative father had pushed him to abandon his naivety and benevolence –and for a businessman's son, Alok had a little bit too much of it– warning him that the cost of being trustful was high, especially when running an empire as affluent as the one the Gupta's owned. People, whether big or small, would always take advantage and one day or another, it would all amount to a big blow to a delicate system.
Alok had accepted his father's words, for it was hard to ignore the changing allegiances, backdoor deals and political maneuvers happening in his very own company. He saw as clear as day how fickle people became around money, how distrustful, and he realized that the only way to steer through such murkiness was by order. If everyone was entrusted with a job, if everyone was held accountable for their responsibilities and rewarded handsomely in return, if the punishment of failure was severe, then the chance of a collapse was low. And even if the winds blew too hard one season, it would be easy to see where the cracks lay.
That was the beauty of systems.
And as Alok had aged, his belief only strengthened, and he stopped at nothing to make sure every aspect of his life ran like a well-oiled machine. And perhaps, things would have continued like that if it wasn't for that terrible accident.
Alok still remembered very vividly the first time he had met Garima. His father, who had finalized the alliance after much deliberation, had sent him to Lucknow to meet her parents. Alok had agreed out of obligation, but actually returned, impressed. Beautiful as she was, Garima had told him in the five minutes they seized alone while she served him tea, that she hoped for a life partner who respected her and that she viewed marriage as a mix of compromise and responsibility.
Alok, who had been expecting a shy, reserved girl, was both surprised and relieved. Relieved that she spoke with practicality and from that moment onwards, their partnership had begun in earnest. In the many years that followed, Garima fulfilled her duties with perfection. She respected his desire to expand the company and let him work late hours without complaint, sacrificing their time together and handling both his parents and later, their children.
But perhaps, more than Garima's compliance, what Alok valued in his wife was her understanding. Since day one of their marriage, she knew very clearly what he wanted and what he needed in less than a heartbeat. She knew when to speak, when to chide and when to defend. It was perfect harmony.
Harmony that he had hoped his daughter would also have, but it was another thing that Khushi valued undermining him more than thinking about her own welfare.
If Alok had admired his wife before, after her accident, he downright cherished her. Raising children was no easy feat and Garima had done it without complaint. He had only realized it after she had slipped into coma, when he had been – suddenly– left in charge of two grown kids, one weary of him and the other, resentful. Neither of them understood the sacrifices that went into a family, nor the responsibilities. One insisted on becoming the Managing Director without winning over even half of the board –all who feared that Vihaan was too soft for such a demanding position– and the other, on pursuing a career that would constantly interfere with her family life.
Vihaan was, nonetheless, still somewhat manageable. Khushi, however... with her, Alok had been utterly clueless. What was he supposed to tell a girl who had decided from a very young age to disobey him? He had hoped that with maturity, Khushi would understand the subtly that came with being a woman, the expectations that were inexplicably placed on her... but alas, none of that happened.
It was worrisome.
Despite being an only child, Alok was well aware of the societal rules, having noticed from very early on how different things were for girls. He had seen it at work, where female employees were constantly pressurized to return home early or criticized for working at all when their kids were too young. He had seen it with his own mother, who had been admonished by most of the Gupta elders for deciding to have only one kid and he had even seen it with Garima– all the late nights she stayed up when one of the kids fell sick, all the doctors she asked for help when Vihaan wouldn't speak his first words or all the mothers she begged for forgiveness when Khushi got into a fight at school.
Their jobs weren't easy.
That was the bitter truth, a truth that his daughter had heavily misunderstood. She didn't realize that until and unless she could handle her family, no job or position or career would give her the approval she was seeking. It didn't matter if she was a doctor or a cleaner, what mattered more was having the patience and understanding that was inevitably required from all women. Besides, why did his daughter even have to go out into this capricious world and struggle in the first place? Hadn't he earned enough for her to lead a comfortable life? Wouldn't he find a well enough suitor for her to continue living like that? Why was she insisting on leading a life that would put her neither here nor there?
Alok didn't know.
And up until one point, he didn't want to know either. Perhaps that's why he didn't hesitate when deciding to get her married. At the time, when the loss of his wife had been fresh, he could only see how marriage would benefit Khushi. He didn't have the time or energy to contemplate much else. If she was having a hard time quitting her job just a year into it, then there was no way she would be able to once she had a child.
The timing had been bizarrely perfect. Alok had already been eyeing the Raizada Industries for many months as a part of an elaborate expansion he had been planning for his own company. So when he realized that it was imperative to get Khushi married–hopefully before she found a new way to resume her job– he didn't see who could be better than Arnav.
Shankar Singh Raizada had earned quite a reputation for himself over the years, and if it wasn't for Alok's meddling, his company would have been doing very well. And as his son, Arnav was bound to succeed as the heir. So instead of a hostile takeover of the company, Alok had thought, why not a merger? The Raizada's would forever be indebted for the favor and in return, will ensure that Khushi's marriage would last. What more could he ask for?
It was those rare win-win situations.
Of course, the process had taken Alok many days. The first and foremost had been getting an approval from the family priest, who had matched both Khushi and Arnav's kundali and deemed them to be compatible. The next had been Arnav himself. Despite Shankar's remarkable achievements, Arnav had appeared quite ordinary when Alok followed him to a conference –which Vihaan had conveniently skipped– for new age businessman. What had impressed Alok was the confidence with which Arnav had won a debate regarding the use of automatic technologies. It was evident that Arnav had the knowledge to run an empire, what he lacked was experience. The last check had been Shankar and his family, who had received Alok quite respectably when he went with Khushi's proposal. It took negotiating, but just like he had predicted, in the end, the Raizada's agreed.
In the weeks leading up to the wedding, Alok had been sure of his decision. He had repeatedly told himself that Khushi's unusual silence was temporary, and that once she entered the Raizada house, she would get so immersed in family responsibilities that no other thought would linger.
Now, six months later, he wasn't so sure.
For the first time in many years, doubts were running wild in Alok's mind. He couldn't help but think maybe he had acted too quickly in the situation, maybe he should have waited a few more months before finalizing the groom, maybe he should have convinced Khushi rather than commanding her.
The credit for these unsettling thoughts, like always, belonged to his wife, who despite being beyond reach, had somehow managed to make herself heard. It came in the form of a years old letter, addressed to her younger sister, Madhvi. Alok had chanced upon it when the servants were cleaning out Garima's –or rather his, for he couldn't bear using it alone after the accident– old room and found a stack of letters that she had exchanged with her family.
And ever since he read them, Alok found himself utterly lost.
"Papa, can I come in?"
Alok blinked out of his thoughts. It was another –or perhaps the end of another– workday at Gupta and Sons. To him, all the days seemed the same. Without his wife waiting for him at home, he didn't see the point of going home on time anymore.
"Come in," he said, sitting up in his chair.
To his surprise, Vihaan walked in, his usually nervous face, pleasantly calm.
"Yes?" Alok asked when Vihaan stopped at the foot of his desk.
He held out an envelope in answer. "I came to drop this off."
Alok gestured him to sit down. "What is it?"
"My resignation."
It would be an understatement of the century if you said Alok was surprised. Perhaps a better term would be, flummoxed, to the point that he was sure he had misheard. His son was resigning? The son he had spent the last twenty-eight years training, schooling and readying? What the hell was going on?!
"As per the company's policy," Vihaan continued, not even bothering to sit down. "I will serve a two-week notice period."
Alok was tongue-tied.
He knew, as his mind scrambled to find a fitting reply, that anger should be his reaction. Fury that his son dared to say such a blasphemous thing with such serenity. However, he could find none of it. As the minutes ticked by in silence, the room grew steadily darker and it was only after the sun had completely set that Alok found his voice again.
"Sit."
Vihaan didn't move.
Alok couldn't help but be a little impressed. He had expected such defiance from his sister but seeing it on the usually mumbling Vihaan made him feel that maybe all his training had finally worked. Maybe Vihaan had finally managed to find his ground.
"Why are you resigning?" Alok asked.
Vihaan stared at him, no doubt very surprised to see such a cool reaction.
"Sit," Alok repeated once again. "This clearly has been long overdue."
He –finally!– obliged with a sigh.
"As your boss, you owe me a reason for your resignation."
Vihaan took a deep breath and answered fearlessly. "Because I don't see why I must waste away in this company, where I will never be good enough in your lingering shadow."
It was meant to be a blow, but Alok felt none of it. Instead, he asked, "And where will you go? Did you find a job elsewhere?"
"Why," Vihaan retorted. "So that you can blackmail the company into terminating me by tomorrow morning?"
Alok didn't answer. It was a good idea, but seeing how confidently Vihaan spoke, this was clearly a plan that took many months in the making, so he probably already had a solution to it.
"I'm going to London," Vihaan explained. "No company here will hire me knowing you are my father, and Ahana too has plenty of opportunities there to pursue graphic designing."
Alok's eyes flashed. There it was again, this generation's need to be seen equal. Why did they insist on jobs and money? All this wealth and power at their feet, but no, they wanted to be employed and common.
"And what happens to your sister's deal?" Alok asked, still quite calm.
Vihaan's composed exterior broke at last. "She'll understand," he said, but the uncertainty was evident.
So Khushi wasn't aware of this decision. Well, there was one less thing to sort out, Alok thought with a little relief. He could only imagine the happiness that would take over his daughter if she found out that the conditions of her marriage no longer applied.
Alok crossed his arms. "You have this entire company at your command and you want to run off to London with your wife? What am I missing here? I didn't think I raised you to be a fool."
"When did you ever get time to raise me Papa?"
"No need to be so brash, I'm just trying to understand–"
"You won't," Vihaan interjected. "Haven't you made it clear that what I or Khushi want is beneath you and your empire?"
Alok refrained from answering.
"Khushi had always been the smarter one, so she understood this a long time ago. But I was naïve and foolish. I wasted so much of my life trying to figure out what it is that you actually wanted, trying to change myself to satisfy you that I've lost track of what's important."
"And what is that exactly?"
"Have I failed you because I'm not good at business or have I failed you because I wasn't a good son?"
It was a good question, Alok thought grudgingly, albeit with no straight answer.
"I used to think both meant the same," Vihaan continued. "But it was only after I got married to Ahana, that I realized it wasn't... Because she loves me despite the fact that I haven't been made the Managing Director, her family respects me despite the fact that I am nothing like the Alok Raj Gupta, our marriage is a happy one despite all the conditions under which it took place. So really, what I do here has nothing to do with what I am at home... and so what does it matter anymore if I'm your heir or not."
His son had indeed found his ground, it seemed. He was talking of big things today, of important things. But didn't he realize that the world outside wasn't any better?
"So you're leaving because you think a job elsewhere will be easier?"
"Maybe it isn't," Vihaan replied. "But that's not the point is it? In trying to be your son, I have let down so many people–"
"Like who?"
"Like Maa... all she ever wanted was for me to be happy, but all I gave her was the frustration I had on you. Maybe if I controlled my anger that day, if I thought better about what I wanted, then she never would have fell down the stairs... and Khushi wouldn't be stuck in an unhappy marriage."
Alok closed his eyes, the memory of Garima stinging him.
"But you know what, it's okay. I spent so much time thinking about whether I should become ruthless like you and expect that Ahana will understand or keep my compassion and forever ground myself to your shadow... but then it suddenly hit me one day.
What happens if thirty years later my son comes and asks me why I haven't given him the time that he deserves or love that he needs? What reason do I give him for picking this company over him and his siblings? Will I be able to ignore his questions like how you do ours and escape the guilt of neglecting my kids?"
Vihaan paused. "I don't think so Papa... tomorrow, I want to be able to have answers for my son. And for that, I can't stay here."
Alok cleared his throat. "And what happens if thirty years later your son comes and asks you why you never pushed him for greatness? Why you settled for this, when you had the chance to achieve a lot more?"
"Then I will tell him that I wasn't cut out for greatness," he said simply.
Alok didn't know what to say.
"Whatever the case may be, I've had enough," Vihaan finished, standing up to leave. "I'm done trying to impress you, I'm doing trying to be your heir, I'm just done."
"We aren't done until I say so," Alok said, more harshly than he intended to. "Sit down."
Vihaan took a deep breath. "What you want Papa is for me to be like Khushi, to do whatever it takes without pausing to consider the consequences... but the joke is, you hate her for that and you hate me for not being like that. Why the unfairness? Sometimes I can't help but wish that she was your son... maybe then, we wouldn't be at such an impasse today."
Perhaps. But there was no point dwelling on fantasies.
"You know I can't let you leave like this," Alok said feebly.
Vihaan laughed, humorless. "By all means, go ahead and make my life hell... Make the bank reject the loan I took for my start-up, make Ahana get shunned from every company she applies to. That's what you did with Khushi, didn't you? Make sure she had nowhere to go?"
Alok glared at him.
"But you cannot force me to take over the company–"
"Don't push me–"
"No, you have pushed us. Too far. You could dangle this company like a piece of meat as long as I wanted it... I don't anymore. So, what are you going to do? Whether you let me and Ahana leave for London in peace or use all your old dirty tricks to jail us here, the result will be the same: I refuse your CEO position, Papa. And I'm sure the board will be more than happy to elect someone of their choice."
And with that Vihaan coolly left the office, taking with him the last of Alok's strength.
Just like Garima had predicted. Where was she when he needed her so desperately?
Alok instinctively pulled out the aged letter from his drawer, smoothening it out with trembling fingers. He had read it so many times now that every word of his wife's elegant print was seared onto his brain, and yet, it still felt new.
Dearest Madhu,
So very sorry for not getting back to you sooner, my hands are so full with Vihaan and Khushi nowadays that I don't even notice which day of the week it is anymore. Were we also this difficult as kids? I have such empathy for Amma and Babuji now!
Just the other day, I was summoned by Vihaan's teacher to his school. I had panicked the whole way there only to find out that the complaint against him was that he is too quiet... can you believe it? Gone are the days when kids get in trouble for being loud, nowadays, it's the exact opposite. I had to spend two hours explaining to the teacher that Vihaan takes time to open up, that he has been quiet and reserved since childhood... but something the teacher said caught my attention Madhu. She said children are like a mirror, they only do what they see and hear. I couldn't help but agree with her... don't you and I do the same? Why else do we strive so hard every day for our kids like how Amma once used to for us?
And it's easy to see who Vihaan is trying to be... He follows instructions to the T, finishes his homework without complaint, eats whatever I give him and goes to bed on time. I fear in his efforts to impress Alok, he is becoming too mechanical. He is just a kid, this is the time to make mistakes and let loose. But how do I make him see that? And Alok... he just doesn't understand. I told him so many times not to give Vihaan pressure, but he is determined about tough parenting. Vihaan is just entering ninth class, and Alok is already talking about sending him abroad for university. I can't even begin to imagine how much tension this will bring to the poor boy.
And don't even get me started on Khushi! I swear Madhu, this girl will be the death of me. She has inherited Alok's adamance down to the last grain... she got her report card yesterday (all perfect grades by the way - she will kill me if I didn't tell you that) and the first thing she does is keep it on Alok's desk for approval. Khushi can deny it all she wants, but it's so obvious Alok's words matter the most to her. Alok, as usual, came home and busy as he is with phone calls and meetings, didn't see the report... so predictably, he didn't congratulate her at dinner. So you know what Khushi did? She got up and left without eating anything! And no matter how much I explained, she just refused to listen... you won't believe Madhu, but she stayed hungry all night just because she thought that Alok didn't care that she got good marks!!
How do I explain to her that's not the case? How do I tell her that Alok's way of showing concern is different than mine? Alok fusses over Vihaan, it's true, but it's not because he loves him more... it's because Vihaan has much to do when he grows up. And Alok too doesn't get it. In the end, he did see the report –and was very proud, might I add– but Khushi had already fallen asleep by that point. And by breakfast the next day, she had just assumed that I told Alok something and completely ignored his congratulations.
If things continue like this Madhu, then I fear one day Khushi and Alok won't even be able to bear being in the same room as each other. Alok's methods are harsh, and I tried so hard to tell him that he needs to be gentler with girls, that he can't use the same ways with Khushi as he does with Vihaan, but having no siblings of his own, he doesn't understand. And you know already what his family thinks about girls...
I don't know Madhu... Everyone says having teenage kids is the hardest. But at least they are living with me, I can try to explain. What will happen when they grow up and go off to universities? Will they listen to me? And if something happens to me, will they listen to Alok? The answer as of now doesn't look too good.
Anyway, hope you are doing well! How is the new baby doing? Send me some pictures, we are planning to visit once Vihaan and Khushi finish school.
Take care and lots of love,
Garima
Alok's fingers trailed over Garima's signature, imprinted beautifully on the paper, his heart deep in ache. Of all the letters she had exchanged with her sister over the years –and there were a lot– this was the one with the most detail about their kids. It was astonishing how deep Garima's foresight was, how well she knew what was coming.
Alok wished he had listened to her pleadings, her pleadings to ease up on both Vihaan and Khushi, to stay more at home, to have more to talk about at the dinner than the stock market. Times are changing, she used to tell him, and with it, we should too. But Alok had been so caught up with order, with rules and systems that he didn't pay her any heed. And now it was too late to.
She was gone, and without her, he had pushed away whatever little semblance of a family he had left. It seemed, in his quest for perfection, Alok had forgotten how to be a father.
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A/N: Not what you were expecting? 😂 I know, I know... but I have been putting off this chapter for too long, it needed to be out.
This was not in any way meant to defend Alok... like every other character in the story, he has a certain way of thinking. And that's what I tried my best to explain here. He has a belief about how things should be in his life and he tried very hard to make it happen, without pausing to consider others' opinions. But with Garima's letter and also old age (where he is definitely feeling the pinch of loneliness) he is reconsidering his actions and maybe, he finally start seeing that his way of life is not necessarily the only way.
As for Vihaan... well, like Khushi found strength in Arnav, can't he find his in his wife?
The next chapter is the much awaited Arnav's POV on Ved. It will be up by Tuesday (evening, EST)!
And thank you for all the comments to the last chapter, I will answer all your doubts and questions about Arnav in the next chapter. A big warm welcome to all new readers! 🤗
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