Juhaif seemed thoughtful for a moment before he smiled at his mom and nodded.
"What's the tension in here about?" They turned to where the voice came from. But they really had no idea what tension she was talking about.
To Islam she couldn't help but became overwhelmed seeing everyone waking up early.
"Look at the tension." Husna said and dramatically threw her hands in the air.
"There's just too much tension. There's a girl standing innocently and a lady who's sitted calmly and then a boy smiling shyly. Just too much tension for my liking." Husna finished saying as she moved further taking a glance at everyone.
"Being an early bird doesn't deserve you, thank God you ain't even one." Juhaif said and made way to the kitchen to drink water.
Aunt Kaula was finally out of the small shock she got in "we've heard your explanation. But how's that tension? Islam please teach this girl some English."
Husna's mouth went in to a pout while Islam's splits in to a grin.
"Good morning mom!" Husna finally greeted.
"Morning Husna. We leave by nine." Her mom said. as she made way to her room.
"Nine?" Husna gasped as Islam smiled at her face expression.
Thirty minutes later Islam literally dragged Husna to the kitchen. They plan on making pancake. Islam was to make the batter while Husna was to do the baking, ofcourse after spending hours begging Aunt Kaula to allow Husna in the kitchen. And Islam can't ever understand why Aunt doesn't want Husna in the kitchen.
They finished the batter since a while ago and Husna has spent approximately ten minutes trying to fry the pancake with no result. Talking about biggest failure of the year!
"Husna maybe I should do the next one." Islam said worriedly.
"Don't worry I got this."
"Okay." Islam replied and moved back leaving the chef continuing with her job; aka job of burning pancake and wasting yummy batter!
After what seemed like a total ten minutes of failure, Islam offered another helping hand which Husna confidently declined.
"The next one will be better." She assured.
But where's the next one? When she had already finished the batter and not once did it yield anything but terribleness!
Islam sighed as Husna finally turned the last blackish pancake that looked like Milo and everything black been added to it as she looked at Islam, "you see I told you it will be great." Husna said grinning from ear to ear, Islam squeezed her forehead at that, obviously confused as why Husna would think her terrible pancake is anything great! Sincerely that pancake is everything but great! A white batter got added to a frying pan and turned completely black, what's great about it?
Nevertheless Islam gulped down her laughter, she wanted to say that terribleness was something her eyes have never seen but resorted to smiling at Husna for a piece of encouragement.
But truly in the cooking world Husna has a lifetime to go.
"I'm very talented. Awwww i'm so proud of myself. I can't believe I made this." Husna was so happy. Islam forced back a smile and gently clapped her hands along with Husna. She wished she could tell Husna the truth!
"I must put nutella." Islam heard Husna say as she looked over to the fridge about to grab one.
"Husna maybe everyone should put their own nutella."
Islam had to suggest that, to save a nutella from being wasted. Hardly anyone would eat that. An utterly burnt pancake would definitely be something so bitter to eat and certainly something anyone wouldn't want.
"Wow my sister is very talented."
They both turned around to where the voice came from.
It was Juhaif who was just coming in to the kitchen, possibly about to pick his second bottle of water for the day. She wonders how he does it. If anything she would like to be drinking that much amount of water. And if that would happen she doesn't want to start on how clear her skin will be.
"Yaya taste it." Husna quickly grabbed a fork and enthusiastically moved over to the sink to wash it. Unfortunately it ended up on the floor and she had to wash it again. Islam that was watching at everything thought it was crazy how if it was her that made the spoon fell definitely Juhaif must make a nasty comment, but here he was clapping at Husna saying he has never seen her drop a spoon on the floor, "it's actually cute how you dropped the spoon on the floor, but wash it very well please." He said.
Islam thought the relationship Juhaif shares with Husna is weird, how will anyone ever think dropping a spoon on floor even when done mistakenly is cute? It's like Juhaif is always cheering on Husna! So weird!
"Okay here!" Husna finally called out, as she stood in her toes and put the burnt pancake in Juhaif's mouth!
Islam's brows rose up as she waited for the drama to unfold.
Certified chef Juhaif finally testing a burnt pancake. Wow that's a sight to behold!
"Ten on Ten, not even kidding. My sister is very talented."
Islam's eyes had to twitch at that. Was the guy for real? Was he being real? what a genuine elder bro!
"Why not tell her the truth?" Islam murmured as Juhaif glared at her.
"What truth?" Husna said a little feeling down and Islam just shook her head and forced a tight smile before releasing a heavy sigh.
"Thank you bro! This compliment means alot!" Husna kept grinning from ear to ear before looking over at Islam and the latter sensed what she was about to do and quickly left the kitchen. She wasn't ready to taste the bitter pancake of life.
Immediately after breakfast, they realized they couldn't travel back to Abuja, because of the adjustments in their travels and nature of the road, again the car they would use needed service. And Husna's father wasn't still done meeting the people he needed to meet. So they couldn't leave till after few days.
They were bored and were just sitting in the living due to change in plans. Juhaif was occupying the two sitter and had crossed his leg and raised his phone to his head level, his attention was completely on his phone.
While Islam was just sitting, reminiscing on all that happened in their face time with her dad. She couldn't believe it. She knew life had never been all smooth for her, just like everyone, but at least never in the life of her had she ever dream life would at some point be this rough for her. How could her father? Mafia? She still couldn't believe it. But she wondered why wouldn't her father deny it when she brought up the topic, rather he merely apologised. Didn't that mean he was so deep in it? And he was just apologising for it?
So many thoughts were running through her mind.
Next Husna's voice got her outta her reverie, "Islam how do you pronounce this word?" She asked her spelling out 'schedule' for her.
"I usually say ˈskɛ.dʒʊ(ə)l'." Islam pronounced it for her, saying it like 'skedule' as that's the American way of pronouncing it.
"Really? In my case I go for ˈʃɛ.dʒəl' though." Husna said, pronouncing it like shedule, making the 'c' silent. The exact British pronunciation as Nigerians go for British English since they are being colonised by the British.
"Yaya Juhaif (elder brother) what about you?" Husna called out after him. He turned to her and shot his brows up, indicating he had no idea what she's talking about.
"How do you pronounce 'schedule'?" She asked spelling out the word for him.
"Course ˈʃɛ.dʒəl'." He said it the exact way Husna did.
Islam was now supporting her chin with her hand, "it's schedule(skedule)." she said dejectedly, but Husna laughed at her. "No it's schedule(shedule)." Husna added.
"Noooo it's schedule(skedule)." Islam said loudly as Husna shivered in fear over the tone she used.
Juhaif turned around looking at them, before going back to his phone with a shrug.
Next thing they heard was the sound of Islam crying furiously.
Husna was more than horrified at that over what made Islam cry. Could it be the pronounciation? But that wasn't a serious thing, anyone could pronounce anything the way they like, why was she crying over it then?
"Hey Islam are you okay?" Husna asked with concern as she reached for Islam's hands. She let out a sigh looking at Islam's tears all over the place. She knew she must be going through something. That couldn't be due to an argument over how to pronounce a word. Husna glanced over at Juhaif that was no longer on his phone but looking towards them, he gestured with his head for her to leave, and she finally gave Islam's hand's a gentle squeeze and got up to leave the room.
Husna got back to her room, leaving Juhaif and Islam there in the living.
Juhaif waited till her crying subsides. He wasn't a therapist, but he knew a depressed soul once he sees one!
"Do you usually have medicine for this?" He asked calmly, getting up from his seat and moving towards the sofa Islam was occupying.
She didn't reply, but concentrated on wiping away her tears.
"So, no Medicine I see!"
"What medicine?" She finally asked.
Right there he knew she had no idea she was even depressed! But what could have caused it?
"When was the last time you sleep?" Juhaif asked.
Islam squeezed her forehead and shook her head sideways, "I find it hard to sleep these days, been having insomnia, but you are the last person I will tell anything about my downfall." Islam said glaring at Juhaif.
"Downfall? But who said anything about downfall here? I'm sure no one mention that, are you constantly overthinking things?"
But she didn't reply, so he added, "take things easy! Or you can share with me, seems to me you're trying to lie to yourself about something." Juhaif said and suddenly Islam began to tremble, her hands began shaking as tears came flooding down her cheeks. She began sweating and suddenly felt dizzy, she doesn't even wants to talk about it, in fact she was feeling pins and needles in her stomach right now, she felt light headed."
"I don't want to talk to you!" Islam sternly said after a few. Juhaif nodded and reasoned with her.
"Anytime you want to talk about it, I'm always here. Just take things easy, and if maybe it's social media that's giving you pressure, perhaps minimize it."
"Why do you suddenly act like you care? You don't even know anything about me, just because I told you about my YouTube channel and maybe watched few of my videos doesn't mean you know me."
Juhaif just looked at her and squinted his eyes. He pinched the bridge of his nose before saying, "I hate to break it to you, but you act depressed!"
On hearing that she quickly looked over at him, and suddenly she looked away with out saying a word.
"Look, i'm just trying to help!"
Wow grumpy trying to help her? Perhaps he got some ulterior motives. She thought to herself.
"Be real honest with me okay? What is it you really want, but lying to yourself about? Like forcing yourself to believe you don't want that thing or the thoughts keeping you awake at night or maybe something you recently overthink about?"
Oh! She knows that thing! She knows what she wants but kept lying to herself about!
She knows what she's denying herself of, and forcing herself to despise and never wants, she knows very well what's keeping her awake at night, it all summons up to no one but her mom! Her late Mother is at the center of everything! If her father turns out to be mafia what will she do? But most importantly who was her mother? What kind of person was she exactly?
She wanted so bad to know all the answers. Honestly things seemed fishy, why would her family never visited when they have all the means to do so, if they were financially unstable it would have been a different story, but these poeple seemed loaded, right from Aunt saudah to Juhaif's father, then what could make a private jet owner to never ever visit his sister that lives abroad until after she dies?
She knew deep in her she wanted to hear stories of her mom from her dad, but she kept lying to herself all these while, thinking her father's mental health comes first, as she used to see he ends up mentally and emotionally unstable anytime the topic of her mom was brought up.
"My mom!" She finally let out absentmindedly and with much difficulty. "I wanna know about her, who she really was. I don't know what took her away Juhaif. I just knew I never wanted to talk about it. Sometimes I want to. But I don't want it more than I want my Father's peace. He's all I got. I didn't want to see him in pain over his lost. He loved her so much. I was so young and couldn't understand things but the love those two had for each other was intense. I had to see him go through difficulty of losing his other half. That made me to never wants to talk about her to him. At least not in that case. I don't want talking about her to be deep, nothing more than how I would relate to stuff he learnt from her, or things he had in common with her. But anything more I detest talking about. I believed it's a painful memory for him more than it was for me. May Allah reward us for our patience and grant us all jannah."
Juhaif felt something in his heart. He knew that seemed like a sensitive topic in the family. Nobody ever talks about Islam's mom just like that, as kids they wanted to visit, but they were never allowed to, in-fact nobody is allowed to talk about her, just few things about her, like when she slipped out of people's mouth and nothing but that! It's like she's a sensitive closed case in the family, hidden in grownups hearts, and never to be talked about or reminded of by anyone!
Juhaif noticed how Islam is at this early depression stage and he honestly wants to help. He wish he knew all the answers that will put an end to this, but even he knew nothing about her mom! For years no one is allowed to talk about Islam's mom in the family and he had no idea why!
Juhaif can see emptiness, loneliness, sadness, self-loathing, anxiety, guiltiness, hopelessness all over Islam, her eyes were red and her face have turned pail, she needed help desperately, the last thing he would want was seeing her isolating herself. For that he's ready to help her find all the information necessary. Even if that means breaking family rules and secrets! And opening rooms for regrets! He would do all he could to see that he helped.
"Come with me." Juhaif finally let out.
He drove her to a barren land in a car. Quite further away from town. Then he typed some things on phone, and they waited for almost two hours in the car before she heard a sound above their head and finally started understanding what he was up to. He called a pj but she wonders what he's gonna do with that. The two of them got in the pj as Juhaif asked Islam to trust him.
***
Abuja
"Aunt she's depressed." He finally said after they were made comfortable in Aunt Sauda's parlour.
Aunt looked from him to Islam. She kept doing that.
"She's battling to hold something in. I found out about it and by Allah I want to help her with all I could, you know I've been there, feeling like the whole world's against you, seeing no one can understand your feelings, I would have helped, but she needs information that not even me has!" Juhaif finished explaining to Aunt Sauda.
Islam just kept looking at him, he explained her feelings so well, in a way she won't even be able to. But what did he mean he'd been there? Had he been depressed too? But wait, she doesn't even believe she's depressed. She's just feeling like the world against her, and she feels nothing inside, she feels an emptiness inside her, and she's constantly sad, overall she just feels like the world doesn't have meaning. Like she just wants everything to pause if she has the power.
Aunt Saudah looked from Juhaif to Islam before concentrating on him again. "What's that information?" She asked silently.
"Her mom!"
Aunt Sauda gasped as her hands flew to her mouth, suddenly she looked distressed.
"We both know I can't!" She finally let out.
"She's at a second depression stage Aunt!" Juhaif said in a husky voice. Islam knew that tone was harsh. She looked towards him, "hey calm down." She said. And Juhaif quickly apologised to Aunt Saudah. "I'm sorry." He voiced out.
"It's okay!" Aunt said, pressing her lips.
"I need to talk with your father first."
Islam felt her chest constricting and her heart somersaulting. Sweats began forming on her forehead and hands! "It's okay. It's okay I don't have to know." She said as a lone tear cascaded down her face.
It broke every ounce in Juhaif to see her that way.
"We both know he'll never agree to that." Juhaif whispered out to Aunt Saudah.
Islam was just seeing a different version of Aunt Saudah today, she knew her to be so cheerful, but today she's all serious and looking dangerously scary.
"Then I can't. I'm sorry Juhaif. I'm so sorry but I won't be able to help!" Aunt Saudah said.
And keeping to her words she didn't say a word of what they needed till they got tired and left.
1 hour later
Bichi Kano State
Once the pj landed on the place where they took off at, malam danjummai was there to get them home.
"Not a word about this to anyone. Promise me that!"
"I promise." Islam replied Juhaif and they eased themselves in the car.
Once they reached home, regardless of it being dark, the first figure that Juhaif saw made his stomach chucked!
There his dad stood in the compound as he kept pacing up and down!
Juhaif knew he was in for it today! Because the biggest crime worthy of being punished in the Khalil's is narrowed down to disclosing info about Islam's mom.
He slowly proceeded to where his father was. Of all the possible scenarios Juhaif taught would happen, he didn't see this one coming, to his surprise he was greeted by his father's hot slap on the face! He slapped him so hard. And then the second time and the third! Juhaif didn't try dodging any. Instead he stood there as tears began to fall down from his eyes! Her father has never slapped him before! But today he earned 3 slaps at a go!
——
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