two years later..
"Gigi," I walked into my grandmother's room, where my grandmother, Gladys, was quietly reading her bible. "Gigi?" I called her again. She highlighted something else in her bible before closing it, fixating her attention on me.
"Yes baby?" she reached over and sat her bible down on the nightstand.
"Lunch is ready," I told her approaching the side of the bed she was on. I handed her, her glasses before helping her out of the bed. She held onto my hand as we walked out of the room, and down the hall towards the living room and kitchen. "I made you, and G'Daddy's favorite,"
"Chicken potpie?"
"Of course, I know G'Daddy will be home soon so I made it a little early so it'll still be hot for him when he gets here." I said, sitting Gigi down on the couch in front of the TV, so she'll be able to watch her stories as she ate.
"You're too good to us, you know that? What we gone do when you leave?" Gigi smiled, caressing my hand. I gently grabbed her hand and returned a smile back.
"I'm not going anywhere Gigi, you and G'Daddy need someone to take care of you guys and I refuse to leave you guys behind like my mama did. You guys are like my second responsible parents." I assured her, planting a kiss on her cheek.
"I love you,"
"I love you too Gigi, call me when you're finished okay?" I said walking back towards the kitchen.
Two years later, I found myself laying low at my grandparents house. After what happened that night with losing Reese, I couldn't find the courage to continue on with that lifestyle anymore. Not after losing my best friend.
Precisely a week after Reese's funeral, I disappeared without any explanation—not that I think anyone from the crew needed one. No one reached out to me, or vice versa. I wanted to keep it that way, I felt as if they were better off without me. I couldn't stomach the thought of making the same mistake again, and causing someone else I cared about losing their life.
I changed my number, and switched cars to take precaution because I knew my enemies from that night were probably still on the hunt for me. I didn't go outside unless it was for work, or if my grandparents needed something from the store.
I planned on moving out of state once Reese died, but those plans came to halt once I was informed that my irresponsible ass mama was also moving out of the state, taking my siblings with her, but were leaving my grandparents behind.
I knew they were reaching that age where they were going need supervision, and as much as they've done for me throughout my life, I didn't want to take the risk of someone else harming them, or neglecting them.
It made my blood boil, knowing my mama didn't care to stick around to take care of my grandparents, the ones who loved her unconditionally even after all the wrong she done to them—but then again I expected nothing less from her trifling ass.
My phone began to ring on the counter while I washed the dishes, I rinsed the suds off my hands before turning the water off, and dried them off on the paper towel.
"Hey daddy," I answered, seeing it was my daddy calling. Unlike my mama, my daddy was more of the mature, responsible one. Though I didn't see him that much because he was a truck driver, and was always on the road, he came through for me whenever I needed him.
"Hey princess, what you doing?" I heard his deep voice speak on the other end of the line.
"I'm finishing up cleaning in the kitchen, just made Gigi some potpie. Still waiting for G'daddy to get here, you on the road?"
"Some potpie? Well I guess I picked a great time to be back in the city. I was gone stop by later, check on you and them. You need me to pick up anything for you before I get there?"
"No daddy," I playfully rolled my eyes as if he could see me, "How many times I have to tell you, I got this?"
"Princess you're young, you're taking on a lot of responsibility just by taking care of them. If ya dysfunctional ass mama won't help you, at least let me do it." he stressed, still not liking the fact that my mama left his own daughter behind with the responsibility of taking care of her own parents. He felt as if I deserved to be out, living my own life and having fun like a normal 24 year old should. Which I agreed with him to some extent—but I don't think I could ever forgive myself if I just left my grandparents behind.
Even though he didn't like it, my dad still praised me at the same time, loving the fact I always looked out for my family in need. I never complained or held it over anyone's head of what I done for them because I felt like as a family member that's what you're supposed to do—be there for your fam. I had always been that way since I was a child, I knew I had gotten that from his side of the family—the folks on my mama side were irresponsible as can be.
"I appreciate that daddy, but I already told you that if I needed help, I would let you know." I said, drying and putting the dishes away.
"Alright but I'm still gonna at least give you some money—"
"Daddy!"
"What? As a father I should be able to spoil my baby girl." he said. I heard as the doorbell rang, I walked out of the kitchen holding the phone to my ear with one hand. Looking through the peep hole, I saw a familiar face that made my stomach drop into my ass.
"H-hey uh daddy let me, uh, call you back real quick." I stammered as confusion filled my mind. I hang up the phone after he said okay, and opened the door to Bambi standing in front of me. "Bambi?"
"So it is the right house," Bambi chuckled, "What's up girl, how you been?" she pulled me into a hug. I pulled away, looking behind me to check and make sure Gigi wasn't listening before stepping out on the front porch, shutting the door behind me.
"I-I'm good, um I'm sorry, what are you doing here?" I raised an eyebrow, still wondering why Bambi was showing up on my doorstep.
None of the crew knew where my grandparents lived, only where my mama use to stay at but I made sure to keep my grandparents location confidential, just because I knew how evil and ruthless folks were once there was beef. Though Reese, Bambi and Mid all met my grandparents awhile back, at a few functions my folks had.
Bambi deeply sighed looking down at her feet for a brief moment then up at me, "Midnight wants to talk to you, and honestly I miss you—hell the whole crew miss you girl. I know it's been two years, but there wasn't a day that went by and we didn't think about you." she told me.
"I mean I missed y'all too but I don't think that's really a good idea Bam." I shook my head taking a step back, not wanting to talk anyone else from the crew, especially Midnight. In a way I felt like the death of Reese put a strain on Midnight and I's friendship.
Besides Reese, Midnight was like another best friend to me. If I wasn't with Reese, which I was most of the time, then I was with Mid. The rest of the crew use to tease us about it being some unspoken 'thing' between me and him, but we never did see each other in that way. The friendship we had was genuinely, platonic.
"Come on Lotus please, you know Midnight isn't the type to beg but he really needs to talk to you." Bambi pleaded, giving me puppy eyes. I sighed as I tapped my foot anxiously, glancing around at my surroundings outside.
"Okay fine," I gave in, dropping my arms to my side. Bambi smiled and grabbed one of my hands, lightly squeezing it. She turned around and gestured her hand towards the car, giving the signal.
All four of the car doors opened as Midnight along with three guys I didn't recognize got out of the car. One of them pressed the alarm to car, locking it as they all walked up the steps to the front porch.
My heart began to race as me and Midnight locked eyes with one another. He looked completely different, he now had a fully grown out beard, his once naked arms and neck were now completely covered in tattoos, he put on more muscle—but those eyes, those brown eyes still had the same look inside—empty. They had been that way since Reese died.
Before he could step any closer to me, I held my hand up to stop them. "You can come in, but they can't. I don't know them," I gestured towards his boys.
He nodded his head and turned his head to look at one of his boys, "Y'all wait out here, keep an eye out for anything. Is Bambi allowed in?" he asked me.
I leaned over to peek at Bambi who was standing behind Midnight, "I made some potpie if you want some," I said turning around to open the front door, the three of us walked inside as Gigi still sat in the same spot, half of her potpie almost gone.
"Gigi? You remember Bambi and Tedric right?" I pointed towards the pair who both waved at her.
"Hey Ms. Gladys," Midnight spoke.
"Hey Ms. Gigi!" Bambi leaned down to give her a hug, she nodded her head towards us, letting us know she would keep her occupied.
"Bambi! Hey baby it's been so long, how you been?"
"I've been good! How about you? How's G'Daddy?"
While Bambi and Gigi carried a conversation, me and Midnight went to the back of the house where my room was. Shutting the door behind me, silence fell over us before I spoke, breaking the ice.
"So, how long have you had eyes on me?" I crossed my arms over my chest, leaning against the dresser.
"Once I realized that you weren't coming back. Had to be sure you were safe, and no one else could track you down." he explained. "Apart of me was hurt when you up and left without talking to me but then again I knew the type of pain you was dealing with—shit I stayed on edge when it came to your safety, knowing that those niggas from that night were still roaming around freely, I couldn't bear the thought of losing you too so I had surveillance set up in the house across from yo' grandparents."
"Well I'm fine so if that's all—" I tried saying until Midnight cut me off.
"Lotus I need you to come back," Midnight finally blurted out,
"You know I can't do that. I gave up that lifestyle years ago, I'm not the same person I was back then Mid." I shrugged.
"And that's exactly why I need you to come back. You're a different person now with a lot more restraint and control—"
"Right cause you don't need reckless me coming back and causing someone else to lose their life right? That's really why none of you guys reached out to me, because it was my fault,"
Midnight slowly ran his hands down his face, deeply sighing. "You know that's not true, we don't blame you for what happened Lotus. You didn't put no gun to Reese's neck and pull the trigger," he argued.
"But I made the wrong call that did, if I had kept my temper—my fuckin' compassion, then Reese would be alive today." my voice cracked, I took a deep breath and exhaled, trying to keep my composure.
So much for trying to forget the whole situation.
"Weeks after he was killed, I got the cold shoulder from every fuckin' body! You guys tried to act like everything was fine but I knew it wasn't! You couldn't even look me in the eye whenever you spoke to me, you became distant towards me! So yeah y'all may have not opened your fuckin' mouths, but your actions damn sure told me otherwise that it was my fault."
Midnight took a step towards me, ready to bring me into an embrace until I stopped him. "Don't," I fanned my eyes, trying to prevent any tears from falling.
Weeks after Reese died, I was unintentionally shunned by the people who were supposed to be my family. It hurt me to the core, how I was treated afterwards. I was angry but at the same time I couldn't blame them—it was my fault.
"And I'm sorry we made you feel that way. It was wrong, we were just coping in our own way. Tryin to figure out how to move on after that, how do we continue on with life after one of the best people in our crew was murdered? Then you leaving us made it no easier, two people who were important not even to them, to me, were gone—" Midnight snapped his fingers, "Just like that. That shit set us back Lotus, we had to adjust to that shit,"
"Midnight I can't—okay? I'm done with that, and I'm done having this conversation. I appreciate you and Bambi for even showing up years later to check on me, but I can't risk my grandparents safety. And I refuse to ruin someone's life because of a choice I made."
"What if you don't have to make those choices?"
I remained quiet, wiping my eyes. Midnight blew out a breath of frustration, realizing he wasn't gonna be able to recruit me back. He walked towards my bedroom door but paused, "At least think about it Lotus, if you gone do it for anyone at least do it for Reese, you owe it to him to find them niggas and avenge his death." he lastly said before walking out of the room.
I followed him out, ready to put the whole thing behind me once again. I couldn't do it, Lotus from two years ago may have jumped up at the opportunity to go back, but the person I was now—she wouldn't allow me to put myself through that kind of stress again.
Bambi arose from the couch with hopeful eyes, looking between us. Midnight simply shook his head, indicating that he couldn't convince me. He waved goodbye to Gigi passing by her, before leaving out.
"Here," Bambi handed me a piece of paper. "In case you change your mind." she gave me a weak smile before following Midnight out of the door.
I shut and locked the door behind them, before turning around leaning against the door, trying to process what the hell just happened.
Now that you've gotten to know Lotus's situation a little more, what are your thoughts on her? Should she go back? Do you think she's going back?
That's all for now, y'all be easy!
see y'all in the next chapter
- Wynter 💙