Song for chapter is In My Head by Peter Manos
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Keane's POV
It was the night before we headed off to Canada for Christmas and New Year. After a full on day, we were all tired and with a long day ahead of us tomorrow, we all went to bed reasonably early at 10pm.
I needed sleep.
My body had another plan.
1am.
I was trying to be quiet, because I knew Tayte was asleep next to me, or so I thought. I sat up,
"What's up?" Tayte asked yawning, "You okay?" he rolled over and sat up too, switching the light on.
"I feel sick and I can't sleep, I'm sorry I you woke up," I confessed,
"I could feel you tossing and turning, you didn't wake me and don't be sorry," I sighed, "Do you feel like your going to be sick? I'll get you some water," he got off the bed, heading to our bathroom,
"I just feel sick to my stomach, I don't know if I'm going to be sick, I just...urgh...I hate this feeling," Tayte handed me a glass of water, I took one sip,
"You feel hot," Tayte said as he felt my forehead,
"I am hot," I winked and he smiled,
"Well you can still joke, so you're not that sick,"
"I'm going to sit out on the balcony for a bit, the fresh air might do me good," I said, knowing sleep wouldn't be happening anytime soon.
"Well then I will join you," I headed to the sliding doors as Tayte grabbed a blanket for us. We'd been snuggled up on the sofa for 10 minutes, when we heard another sliding door to the left of us.
Arlo.
"What's going on? You two okay?" he asked,
"Keane's feeling really sick and can't sleep, so we've come out here for some fresh air," Tayte replied,
"Have you been sick?" He then queried, sitting down next to me,
"No, but I might be if this feeling gets any worse,"
"You feel hot Keane," I smiled,
"I already told him that," Tayte answered, "Do you think we should wake Angelo?"
"I think we should just see how Keane is in the morning,"
"And why are you up?" I asked,
"Couldn't sleep," he replied. I gave him a look and he just smiled at me.
"We've got a long day ahead of us, so why don't you get a bit of sleep now Tayte and then I'll wake you and you can take over whilst I sleep," Arlo suggested,
"How do I know you're going to wake me?" I rolled my eyes,
"Babe, I need at least one of you alive and with it tomorrow for my sake, so just go back to sleep, please, for me," I said,
"Wake me up at 4am and then you can have a few hours okay," He said to Arlo who nodded, though I knew wasn't going to wake him up whatsoever. Tayte kissed me and then warned us to wake him if I got any worse and then went back into our room. I pulled the blanket around Arlo,
"Your not going to wake him are you?" I asked,
"No," I smiled.
We sat there together in silence for a few minutes. I could hear the gentle breathing of Arlo and lay my head on his lap.
"You would tell me if you weren't doing okay right?" I said softly. He didn't answer straight away and this told me everything I needed to know.
"Like you'd tell me?" he responded, deflecting it back onto me,
"Look, if you don't want to tell me. I'm okay with that, but will you at least tell or talk to someone,"
"I..." he began,
"Promise me you'll talk to Angelo about whatever it is that makes sleeping hard for you. I know how much you two mean to each other and how close you are. Promise me Arlo,"
"I promise," he answered, "I promise," I felt his hand rest on my shoulder and I closed my eyes.
Arlo's POV
Keane fell to sleep around 2.30am, his peaceful and gentle breathing and his safe touch sent me to sleep also. For a little while at least.
I jolted awake in fright and cursed, hoping I hadn't awoken Keane who was still lying on me. He didn't stir.
The time was 4.30am.
"I told you to wake me," Tayte said sleepily coming out on the balcony.
"Sorry, I have only just woken up myself," I said,
"Let me wake Keane, you must need to move. I'll drag him back to bed,"
"You don't have to do that," I said,
"Oh I know how heavy this lump is," I smiled,
"I heard that," Keane yawned opening his eyes. We both laughed. "Thanks brother, you're really comfy and I don't feel sick anymore," he then said sitting up.
"Thanks Arlo, see you in a few hours,"
I sat on my bed.
We had to be up at 6am anyway, to leave soon after for our 9.45am flight from LAX.
I got changed into running gear and then quietly left the house for a run.
...
"You didn't go back to sleep then?" Tayte said as I came into the kitchen. Arii, Leo and Tayte were up and dressed drinking coffee and eating slices of toast,
"No, how's Keane?"
"He's been sick, but he's adamant he's totally fine. Rhina wants to postpone the trip, worried he's getting sick and with him having half a spleen things could escalate quickly. Keane is having none of it though and said it was something he ate that didn't agree with him,"
"He's fine," Noah said walking into the room with Angelo, "He's coming down for coffee and toast and wants it ready please Tayte, thanks, love you, all his words. But I do love you," Tayte rolled his eyes.
"What time we leaving?" I asked,
"In around 45 minutes," Arii yawned. I nodded,
"Thanks, keep the coffee hot for me," and I walked off, I noticed Angelo watching me and just knew he was going to say something to me at some point.
I jumped in the shower.
Got dressed.
Doubled checked my bag.
I popped my head into Keane and Tayte's room, which was empty which meant that Keane had come downstairs.
Everyone excluding Auntie and Joey were in the kitchen, I was told they were next door and expected us outside the front and ready in half an hour.
Keane looked at me and was about to say something, no doubt about me when Angelo beat him too it and said,
"You, with me," Angelo said pulling me away, "We'll be back in a minute, or before we have to leave anyway," and we left the room.
"You know my brother will get jealous," I told him and he smiled,
"He knows how much I love and care about you, he encourages the bromance," I laughed. That really did sound like Noah.
"So, what is it that you dramatically pulled me from the kitchen for?" I asked,
"You. I wanted to make sure you were okay, because I know your still not sleeping and I'm worried about your health,"
"Angelo, I'm fine. I am,"
"Arlo you are not fine. Did you get any sleep, because I don't think you did. Staying up with Keane and then going for a run. Talk to me, you can't live off of limited sleep. Why won't you take sleeping pills? I thought we didn't have secrets," I sighed,
"Let's go upstairs," I suggested. So we headed to my room and sat outside on the balcony. I didn't want anyone else to hear.
"I...I get night terrors, flashbacks of everything I've done and everything I've seen. Every time I close my eyes..."
"And the sleeping pills?" I looked away, he put his hand on my back gently, "Arlo, it's okay,"
"I've never slept well and it was worse when I was in the SAS. You had to be on high alert at all times, you didn't want to be caught off guard. And then there's also my fear of not waking up. I'm scared that I won't be able to protect the ones I love. The thought of taking something that makes me sleep is something my brain and heart can't comprehend,"
"Arlo, that is nothing to be ashamed of and I am sorry that you've had to go through so much in your life. I promise, I'm going to help you with this. I promise that I'm going to be by your side through this the whole way,"
"You cant tell the others, not yet,"
"Then we wont tell them yet," I nodded,
"I...I've never told anyone that before and...I kind of feel lighter for telling you,"
"It can only get even better from now then," He said. I hugged him,
"Thank you,"
"Brother, you never have to thank me,"
Keane, Tayte and Noah looked at us curiously when we walked back into the kitchen, but didn't say anything and soon after we all headed outside and locked up the house. Mali was meeting us at LAX, so we all bundled into hired cars to take us there.
The airport was busy, lots of people flying home a few days before Christmas.
"Hey QB," I spun around and Mali hugged me.
"Hey crazy fan," I answered kissing her.
I was worried about sleeping in the same room and same bed as Mali. She didn't know about my night terrors, about my insomnia. She hadn't seen many of my scars and that really scared me.
...
The flight to Vancouver was only 3 hours and it went quicker believe it or not. We only had a short layover time of an hour before our connecting flight to the Canadian Rockies International airport, which was a 15 minute drive to Kimberly, the city we would be staying near.
"We're going to quickly grab some sandwiches for everyone," Joey said. We all nodded and the parents and Auntie headed off.
I wasn't hungry, which was worrying. I'd only had cup of coffee at home and a bottle of water on the plane.
"I have been looking forward to this, for so long. Can't believe this is the first time as a family we are all going away somewhere," Arii said,
"I know. I am SO EXCITED," Noah shouted, "Like SUPER HAPPY,"
I smiled and Angelo whispered something to him, he pouted but rested his head on Angelo's shoulder and quietened down.
"I am honoured to be invited into your family," Leo said,
"Well, you passed all the tests with flying colours and are 1 million percent better than that douche Damon. You care about our sis and you care about family and you also get on well with us, so, it was a no brainer," I winked, he smiled,
"Bet your family were upset that you aren't spending both Christmas and new year with them," Tayte said,
"Well, my parents are divorced, both remarried with their new families with young children and I was going to have to choose who to spend my Christmas with and...As much as I love them more than anything. Me and my older sister are kind of seconds now. So I'm glad I could be part of this family,"
"I'm sure that's not true," Arii said,
"I don't know. It's just how I feel and what my parents portray,"
"Well, you have us now and no one comes second in this family," Keane smiled.
"Thank you. I appreciate that,"
"I am so lucky to walked into such love," Mali whispered in my ear.
"Me too," I said kissing her forehead.
Sandwiches were soon brought back which everyone ate and I attempted a nibble, but just wasn't feeling it. I hoped no one saw, no one said anything anyway. Though in this family, doesn't mean they didn't see.
The plane journey to me, seemed to drag. Maybe it was because I was tired, or hungry or just felt so out of it. I don't know.
I was glad when we landed and were off the plane, heading to collect our luggage.
I felt like I was being swept along in the current.
I kept dipping under and then resurfacing into reality.
Gasping for breath and realising I was walking.
Holding Mali's hand.
We were in a car.
My mind fuzzed and I held my breath as a wave crashed over my head.
Voices.
"Wow this places looks good in the dark, so who knows how awesome it will be with the views in the morning," Noah's voice dragged me from the water. I looked up at the log cabin, that loomed before me. I was standing outside and didn't even know.
"What time is it?" I asked, Angelo answered. He was looking at me. Carefully. As if he knew I just lost a few hours.
"5.15pm,"
"So the plan is get everything out of the cars and then Logan and I will try and scope out some food for everyone, whilst you all unpack," Joey said,
"Food is a must," Noah nodded, "I like this plan,"
As we began to grab bags and rucksacks, Angelo pulled me to one side,
"How much time did you lose?" he asked,
"What are you talking about?"
"Don't bullshit me Arlo, you've been a passenger ever since we got on that plane haven't you,"
"Yes," I muttered, "It's like I've just woken myself up. Can you, just watch out for me this evening,"
"I always do," he said softly.
"Keane and Tayte, Angelo and Noah 3rd floor, Arlo and Mali, Arii and Leo 2nd floor, Arii and Leo you're the twins, obviously," Mum announced and we all headed up.
Mali was busy unpacking and talking too much because she was excited.
But I could only hear muted mumbles, when you watch the TV and the volume is quiet enough that you can just make out sounds.
I felt like I was having an out of body experience, because I could see myself unpacking and perhaps replying to Mal, but I couldn't actually feel myself doing any of it.
Having no control of your body.
It was frightening.
I could feel my heart rate spiking.
"You okay?" Mali asked, I blinked. We were led on the bed together.
How did we..?
"Um...yeah, just a little tired I guess," I answered, hoping I didn't sound spooked, looking around the room.
How long had it been?
"Well, we can have a nice lie in tomorrow," She answered. I smiled. Or did I smile?
"Yes," I looked at the door, "I just need to ask Angelo something, I'll be back in a minute,"
"Okay," she smiled and kissed me.
As soon as I was out of the room it was like I was drunk. I staggered to the stairs that led to the 3rd floor. My head was spinning and everything was blurred out. Every step was draining as my feet felt like led. When I reached the top I prayed I didn't fall backwards to my demise.
Angelo and Noah both looked at me as I stood in the door way.
Angelo's eyes told me he knew straight away.
"I...I don't feel to good..." I slurred and my vision went black as I crumbled to the ground.
Noah's shriek of my name and footsteps were the last things I heard.
...
It felt like waking up for the first time after being frozen for thousands of years.
Every inch of my body began to find itself.
Starting from my feet, through to my eyes.
I blinked them open a few times.
"Arlo," a voice said, "You with us buddy," It was Angelo.
I tried again and this time I could see his face.
"Hey..." I croaked, trying to sit up.
"No, just stay still a moment,"
"I'm sorry,"
"Why didn't you say anything baby?" that was Mali's voice, I craned my neck and saw her sat beside me on the bed.
"Sorry,"
"Son, we're all here for you now,"
"Dad," I said,
"Dad's here," I then groaned as everything became alert and with it, like a switch being flicked to on. Angelo helped me sit up,
"This wasn't how I planned the first evening to go," I said, "Everyone must be worried sick,"
"Keane, Noah and Tayte are sat outside the door. Arii and Leo are awaiting news with your mother, Joey and Auntie," Dad answered.
I was ruining the holiday before it had even begun.
"Arlo, your not ruining anything," Angelo said,
"I didn't say that out loud,"
"Your face said it for you,"
"I'll go and let everyone know your okay, I'm sure your Mum will bring you up some food and drink," Dad said.
"Am I bed bound?" I asked,
"For the rest of the evening and we'll see how you are tomorrow," he kissed my forehead and then headed for the door.
"You're a dick," Angelo said once he'd gone, Mali smiled,
"I agree,"
Before I could answer the door almost flung off it's hinges and Keane, Tayte and Noah came running in diving on me.
"Urgh, guys," I said and I could hear the happiness in my voice,
"Why would you do that? Why didn't you just bloody talk to us," Keane said,
"I did,"
"Yeah you did whilst collapsing," Noah said,
"I am okay. I am sorry for not saying something sooner. I am sorry for scaring you and I love you all," I announced.
"We love you too," was the chorused reply.
Mum, Joey, Auntie and Dad came with Arii and Leo and we all were chatting for half hour in my room before everyone, well, the adults left and I ate some food and Angelo brought us all hot chocolates with Noah's help.
It was midnight when the room emptied with goodnights and I love you's.
I noticed Angelo have a word with Mali before saying to me,
"You know where I am," and left.
We had alternating showers and got ready for bed.
"Angelo told me," Mali said. We were snuggled up in the dark, "About your night terrors and trouble sleeping. He said don't be mad at him, he's looking out for you...and...I'm kind of upset you didn't tell me, or want to tell me. It's not going to make me run away from you. We all have a past Arlo, I'm not going to pry into it, but let me be in your present and future,"
"I...thank you. I was afraid you'd see me in a different light,"
"Never Quarter Back, maybe you'll be able to sleep a bit better with me beside you. If not, don't just lie there staring blankly up at the ceiling, wake me up and we can talk, or watch something, or listen to music. I'm willing to try and help you, if you let me in,"
"Well, I don't know what I did to deserve someone like you, all I'm going to say is that I'm blessed Malena. You are beautiful inside and out," I kissed her.
Closing my eyes and praying for sleep.
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Unedited
With Love Gx
Copyright © Georgia T R Wing 2020