CHAPTER TEN
DENIAL OVER DRACO
§ § §
"What d'you mean you're busy?" I asked, absolutely furious at the boy standing in front of me who looked like he'd like nothing more to evaporate on the spot.
"I mean I'm, well, busy!" He cried, just as angry. "I can't go with you- sorry." He added, glancing at me.
"Draco, you're my boyfriend! This is a party where we can invite guests," I seethed. "And you're saying you can't go with me?"
I had just asked him if he'd go to Slughorn's Slug Club Christmas party that was nearing. The whole of November had passed without any events. Ron was somehow still with Lavender, Hermione has not spoken to him since, and vice versa, Harry still watches Draco on the Marauder's Map since he's suspicious of him, and Draco has still been going missing for periods of time and is as dodgy as ever.
"Why are you emphasizing those words as if I don't know what they mean?" He glared at me.
"Well, do you?" I exclaimed in an exasperated tone, throwing my arms up before letting them fall.
Draco scoffed before crossing his arms and saying, "Sorry that I'm the worst boyfriend ever because I can't attend your stupid party where there will be other guests.
"Using them in a sentence doesn't mean you understand them." I also crossed my arms. "And I never said you were the worst boyfriend."
"That's how it sounded."
"That's how you're acting!"
Madam Pince, the librarian, shushed Draco and I. We noticed many other students in the library had looked up from their work and were watching us argue. Draco rolled his eyes and grabbed my arm, pulling me between the bookshelves.
"Draco, you know I don't think you're a bad boyfriend. I just wish you'd stop disappearing and then acting like it's my fault when I only asked where've you been or what're you doing." I glared at him.
"Stop asking," He shrugged. "There's some things that I just want to keep to myself. Is that so hard? Shouldn't be, especially after you kept the fact you were in a secret club against the Ministry last year-"
"For good reason!" I whisper-yelled instead of actually shouting. "I really can't believe you right now. You're being absolutely ridiculous."
"Oh, I am? Brilliant, really, yeah- that's wicked," He sneered and nodded before pinching the bridge of his nose.
"You're so bipolar! One minute you're kissing me and saying you love me and saying I keep you happy, the next you're avoiding me and being a prat like you are now-"
"There's just a lot on my mind, okay?" He stopped me, looking up. "There's... a lot on my mind."
"Join the club," I scowled. We glared at each other a moment more before I leaned off of the bookcase. "I'm leaving. See you in the common room. Or, maybe, I won't."
"We'll see," He glared right back before leaning off the table and walking out of the library, closing the door roughly behind him.
I watched him go then sighed and shook my head. We were always fighting these days- it's like we were back in second year. At least our fights had been over stupid things that didn't affect our friendship back then. Now, they're about real thinks and we're in a real relationship.
Upon hearing two familiar voices, I walked to the next aisle to see Harry and Hermione walking as Hermione held her books up to the shelves, where the raised to their assigned spots. I walked over to them and heard Hermione say,
"He has a perfect liberty to kiss whoever he likes," She said, although she sounded quite angry. "I really couldn't care less. Oh- hello, Giovanna."
Harry noticed me as I walked over to them and nodded my hello. Hermione took this as enough and continued on. "Was I under the impression he and I would be attending Slughorn's Christmas party together? Yes. Now, given the circumstances, I've had to make other arrangements."
"Have you?" Harry asked.
"Yes. Why?"
"Well, I just thought, seeing as neither of us can go with who we'd really like to, we should go together," Harry said, then added quickly, "As friends."
"Why didn't I think of that?" Hermione sighed.
"What am I- chopped liver?" I asked, narrowing my eyes as I looked back and forth between the two.
"Figured you'd be taking Malfoy," Harry shrugged.
"Fat chance," I rolled my eyes. "He's being an absolute tosser."
"Knew you'd come around to realize it," Harry grinned, and looked back at Hermione. "Who're you going with?"
"Um, it's a surprise," She said hastily. "Anyways, it's you two we've got to worry about. You guys can't just take anyone."
"Why not?" I frowned.
Hermione walked so she was in front of Harry, her back to a girl sitting at a desk a few feet away from us. "See that girl over there?" Harry and I nodded. "That's Romlida Vane. Apparently she's trying to smuggle Harry a love potion."
"Really?" Harry and I ask at the same time, our faces identical as we both raised our eyebrows.
"And that boy? To the left?" Hermione continued, and I spotted a dark haired boy in a Ravenclaw vest studying at a table, but glancing at me ever so often. "Terry Boot. He's wanted to be with Giovanna ever since the start of term. And now that everyone sees you and Malfoy fighting all the time, I'd reckon he's bound to ask the question any moment now."
"People do know I'm still with Draco, correct?" I frowned.
"Hey, they're only interested in you two because they think you two are the Chosen Ones," Hermione huffed.
"But we are the Chosen Ones," Harry and I said in unison, smirking, but Hermione hit us with a copy of the Daily Prophet with a whack so hard it knocked the smirks right off.
"Okay, sorry, erm- kidding," Harry winced. "Well, I'll ask someone I like. Someone cool."
Harry's definition of "cool" was far from my own. I was in the middle of a conversation about Quidditch with Blaise when the door opened to reveal my brother accompanied by Luna Lovegood. He spotted me and made his way over.
"Zabini," He said cautiously, eyeing the boy.
"Potter," Blaise replied just as coolly. "Relax, I didn't take your sister to this thing. We both came alone."
Slughorn came over to greet Harry, and Blaise, eager to escape another conversation with the Professor, excused himself to the buffet. I had already said hello, and let Harry talk to him a bit before Slughorn left to greet more guests.
Harry and I were alone for a moment before Neville walked over in a waiter's uniform, holding a platter of drinks. "Neville!" Harry said in surprise.
"I didn't get into the Slug Club," Neville explained as Harry examined one of the buttons on his jacket. "It's okay, though! He's got Bill handing out towels in the loo." Neville held out his platter, and I politely shook me head.
"We're alright, Neville, thank you though!" I smiled a little. He nodded before walking off to tend to other guests.
As Harry's eyes scanned the party, I caught sight of a familiar girl in a pink dress ducking behind one of the curtains. I nudged Harry and pulled him after me, whipping the curtain aside to reveal Hermione.
"Hermione, what are you doing?" I asked lowly, quite amused with the fact that she was clearly hiding from someone.
"And what happened to you?" Harry asked, noticing her distraught state.
"I've just escaped," She breathed, fixing her hair. "I mean- I left Cormac under the mistletoe."
"Cormac McLaggen?" I asked with wide eyes.
"That's who you invited?" Harry asked incredulously.
"I thought it would annoy Ron the most," She replied defensively, crossing her arms over her chest.
"You thought right," I shivered at the thought of being trapped under the mistletoe with McLaggen.
"He's got more tentacles than a Snarfalump plant," Hermione winced, voicing my thoughts about how retched the boy was.
A boy dressed similarly to Neville pushed aside the curtain and offered out his platter that was holding some food on it. "Dragon tartar?" He asked.
"No, I'm fine, thank you," Hermione said quietly as Harry and I shook our heads.
"Just as well. They give one horribly bad breath," The boy grinned, and I raised my eyebrows at Hermione. She caught my thought.
"On second thought-" She took the whole tray and grabbed one, taking a rather large bite. The boy ducked out from the curtain and walked away. "Might keep Cormac at bay," She said, her mouth full. "God- here he comes..."
She placed her half eaten dragon tartar on the plate and ducked under the curtains, exiting just as Cormac arrived, seeing Harry and I.
"I think she just went to powder her nose," Harry said quickly, now holding the platter of food.
"Slippery little minx, your friend," Cormac sighed. I didn't trust myself to speak, so I stayed quiet. He grabbed one of the pieces from the platter Harry had and asked, "What is this, anyways?"
Before I could stop myself, I said, "Dragon balls."
Neither of them had time to say anything else, because Snape had pulled aside the curtain and was looking at all of us suspiciously. Cormac McLaggen bent over and threw up right onto Severus Snape's feet while Harry and I suddenly became very interested with the curtains.
"You've just bought yourself a month's detention, McLaggen," Snape said coldly, and Harry grabbed my hand. We ducked under the curtain but stopped when Snape said, "Not so quick, Potters."
"Sir, I really think we should rejoin the party," I said, looking around.
"Yes, my date-" Harry added, but was cut off.
"Can surely survive your absence for another minute or two. Besides, I only wish to convey a message."
"A message?" Harry and I asked together. We were so used to it by now, we didn't even spare a glance at one another.
"From Professor Dumbledore. He asked me to give you two his best and he hopes he enjoy your holidays. You see, he's traveling," Snape told us. "And he won't return until term resumes."
"Traveling where?" Harry pressed.
Snape, however, looked at Harry and I a moment longer before turning on his heel and walking away from us. I couldn't help myself as I let out a small laugh at the situation.
Not a moment later, my laughter died when the door opened. Filch walked in, holding Draco by his arms, which were pinned behind his back.
"Get your hands off me, you squib!" Draco exclaimed as everyone turned to watch the scene. My jaw was set.
"Professor Slughorn, sir," Filch said, stopping in front of Slughorn, holding Draco still. I locked eyes with him before he quickly looked away from me. "I've just discovered this boy lurking in an upstairs corridor. He claims to have been invited to your party-"
"Okay, okay, I was gatecrashing!" Draco cut him off. "Happy?"
"No he wasn't," I muttered to Harry. "I invited him and he declined."
"I'll escort him out," Snape said, walking over to Draco and looking down at him. Draco pulled the shoulder of his suit of of Filch's grip and glared at Snape.
"Certainly, professor," He said lowly, and was followed out of the room by Snape.
"Alright, alright, carry on, carry on!" Slughorn called, and the party resumed. Harry and I shared one look before hurrying out of the room after Draco and Snape.
We took a different route, and were able to hide behind a wall as we listened to the conversation between the two.
"Maybe I did hex that Bell girl, maybe I didn't," Draco was saying as we listened to his and Snape's footsteps. "What's it to you?"
I looked at Harry, who wore an "I told you so" expression.
There was sound in which I could imagine Snape pushing Draco. "I swore to protect you," Snape told him angrily. "I made the Unbreakable Vow."
"I don't need protection," Draco retorted, sounding just as angry. "I was chosen for this! Out of all others- me! I won't fail him."
"You're afraid, Draco," Snape said. "You attempt to conceal it, but it's obvious. Let me assist you-"
"No! I was chosen. This is my moment."
Harry and I walked quietly through the halls. The party had ended, and I hadn't said a word since we listened in on Draco and Snape's conversation.
Finally, Harry asked, "What the Unbreakable Vow?"
Staring straight ahead, I muttered, "A promise. A magical one, and if you break it, you die." I answered simply.
We were quiet again until Harry stopped walking, forcing me to stop and turn to him. "Don't ignore what just happened. You heard it yourself."
"I- I don't know what I heard," I inhaled sharply.
"Oh, come off it," Harry glared at me. "You know exactly what you heard. You heard what I've assumed all year. Malfoy's with him. Voldemort's given him some sort of job and that's why he's always missing and off doing something secretive, and you know it. I need you to realize and understand that. I can't do it for you- you need to do it yourself."
"I don't need to do anything."
"The sooner you do, the less it will hurt."
Exhaling, I let tears fill my eyes as I looked down before looking up at Harry again. "He- he can't. I won't deny he's been assigned something, but he can't've fully joined him, he can't."
"You're in denial-"
"Well of course I'm in denial! You're telling me to accept the fact that my boyfriend has the Dark Mark, but we don't even know if that's true. I won't believe he's fully joined them. I won't believe he's got that inked on him." I shook my head.
"You just heard-"
"I know what I heard, Harry!" I exclaimed. "But I know him a lot better than you. And even though you might not want to admit it, he cares about me. I know he does. And he wouldn't have just jeopardized our relationship."
"If his life was on the line, I think he would've," Harry retorted. "His father is in Azkaban. It's him and his mother, who, mind you, is on Voldemort's side, and what's Malfoy going to do? He's going to protect himself no matter what that calls for."
"He doesn't have it!" I shut Harry up. "Just, stop! We can figure out what he's up to- fine. I'll do that much. But we've got no proof he's dropped everything and gotten the Dark Mark. If he did... he'd've dropped me."
"Well, isn't he?" Harry asked, before realizing how harsh his words were. "I just mean, he's been distant and you've been fighting-"
"Please, stop," I whispered. "I love him and I really don't want to think that that's true. So please, just for my sake, stop."
I could tell Harry wanted to say more, but kept his mouth shut. So, with that, I bid him goodnight and turned to make my way down to the dungeons.
When I entered, part of me wasn't surprised to see Draco still in the common room, staring intently down at the dying fire in the fireplace. I walked over and stood next to him, also looking at the crackling embers.
"You're sick of hearing it, because you think I don't mean it anymore," Draco said after minutes of silence. "But I love you."
He didn't say any more. He didn't have to- now that I knew what was going on. Even if he didn't know that. But I had figured it out. After he had a tough time with whatever task he was given, (like tonight, where he was caught by Filch and scolding by Snape), he came to me. I was his safe haven. His happiness.
And so, unsure whether it was for his sake or my own, I replied, "I love you, too."