((Ouch, this song/ prompt is about Theo's nostalgia/memories. Just a warning (?) that this chapter is kinda sad. Listen with headphones please oof))
"Love should never mean having to live in fear." ― DaShanne Stokes
*THIS CHAPTER MENTIONS ABUSE/SUICIDE ATTEMPTS/AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS*
Hey, it's Theo again, have you ever just seen something and it just triggers a million memories to come back?
This totally happened yesterday. Me and Boris we're watching ads ((with captions you dum dums 😂)) and I happened to see an ad that advertised a fundraiser for the reconstruction of the museum that got bombed. Funny part is, my mom died there. That was also the place where I went deaf. The bomb explosion made me deaf. Boris asked me a million questions about it. I tried not to breakdown from the memories that just passed through my head. Let's just say... I couldn't sleep well that night. All I remember is waiting for my mom to return because she was looking at another part of the museum and just hearing a huge boom. That's all I remember. I know my mom isn't alive. A newspaper stated the names of those who passed away in the explosion. I remember seeing my moms face, and just having a loss for words. Not being able to speak. Just stuck. Boris kinda noticed how much I was struggling to sleep, seriously I couldn't get any closer to him yesterday night.
It's gotten so bad. The sadness in my chest. It hurts so much...
I've attempted suicide once. It obviously failed. I'm getting signs that Boris might also be suicidal. I don't know if I've ever mentioned this. But Boris has a terrible home life. His mother has also died, but in a drunk accident. He doesn't care to much. But his father definitely does.
His father beats him a lot now. But Boris seems to be a lot happier around me so I hope I'm helping his mental health. Boris is fifteen. That means he'll be able to learn to drive soon. I'm fourteen. I'm sure I won't be able to drive because of my deafness. But once Boris can drive. We promised each other that were getting out of here. We also have to collect money to at least be able to rent a hotel room for awhile. Boris works janitor shift sometimes at school, they pay him ten dollars a day. Not much. But we can work with it. He can't work some days because of bruises after he gets beaten so I take the job while he stays at home probably watching TV or sleeping. I kinda force him to gets some rest haha,...
the shift absolutely SUCKS. Our school is old and looks as if the roof will cave in at any moment. There's always bugs and dirt everywhere. So I usually gag while working. I absolutely despise it.
Okay, I'm gonna end it right here.
This is Theo Decker, Signing off,
(( I'm sorry this book sucks, 😐 sorry))