I am perfectly certain that my bestfriend wasn't lying and the conviction in her tone made me believe her so. Pero habang binibigkas niya ang bawat diin ng katotohanan, nanatili ang tingin ko kay Angelov.
"Tumigil na ako, maniwala ka sa 'kin, please. Sam, Sam, please..."
He kept his pleading voice down to a minimum but it was strained until it cracked. Nanlambot ang mga tuhod ko, halos sabayan na siya sa sahig. Ang marinig iyon ay pagguhit ng sugat sa puso ko. Bawat bigkas, dumidiin, at habang tumatagal ay lumalalim ang pagkakabaon.
Galing sa mahigpit na pagkakahawak sa mga kamay ko, dinala niya ang mga ito sa kanyang mukha para ikulong ko, as though he was leading me to feel the uttermost sincerity in his plead through this touch because no amount of any other convincing will ever be enough.
I still haven't figured out what to do. Hindi ko nga alam kung ano itong nararamdaman ko, at wala sa mga iyon ang inaasahan na galit.
Was I too numb to feel the shock and anger or is this my own affection concluding for me that no matter how bad the extent of his poor decisions are, I would still try to understand and embrace him. Na para bang dati nang nakalaan ang pagpapatawad, matagal nang handa. Ang kulang na lang ay ang paggawa niya ng kasalanan at ang aking kapatawaran ay maging sadya nitong tahanan.
"Sam..." breathless and with a decaying strength, he called.
Still out of words, all I could do is watch his trembling gaze hopped from one eye of mine to the other while he also keeps my hand framed on his cheeks. Despite myself, I tried to seek a hint of betrayal for keeping this from me and a prelude of repulsion for the atrocity of his deeds. I found nothing, and this is where I never get to understand it. I should be angry because his crimes deserve it. I should have loathed him the sooner I heard the truth because in a way, he rendered liberty for these fixated people to violate.
Pero natagpuan ko ang sarili na igalaw ang kamay. He instantly reacted, keeping my hand firm on his cheeks. I didn't change my reaction to let him know that it's alright, that what I would be doing is far from what his thoughts are made of. Bahagyang nanginig ang mga kamay ko na umangat, nag-aalinlangan na dinapo sa ulo niya bago tuluyan na pinaraan sa kanyang buhok upang siya ay tahanin.
And I knew from the moment when I touched him without duress, I have decided.
"It's okay..." marahan kong sabi.
Dahan-dahan ay yumukod ako sapat para siya lang ang makarinig sa aking sasabihin.
"Hindi ka makukulong," bulong ko.
His eyes blinked softly as my tear landed on his cheek.
"I won't let that happen."
He pushed his face towards mine so he could reach me for a kiss. Hindi ako umatras at hinayaan siya na patakan ng marahan na halik ang labi ko.
"I'm sorry..." he whispered against my lips, tasting a bit of salt from my tears.
"Did you really stop?"
Matagal siyang tumitig bago tumango. Iniwan niya ang mga mata ko na tila sumusuko at ibinaon ang mukha niya sa tiyan ko. Like a default reflex, he instantly wrapped his inked arms around my waist as if it's the only remaining hope left for him.
Dahan-dahan yumukod muli ako at binulungan siya. "Kailan ka huminto? I need to know this, Angelov, please."
"Birthday mo. Iyon na ang huli."
Ilang sandali akong nanatili sa ganoong ayos, inalala pa ang gabing iyon bago natagpuan ang singhap at unti-unting hinila ang sarili. Mga mata ko ay nasa hamba na para abangan ang pagpasok ng dalawang pulis.
"Ano nang ginagawa niyo diyan? Labas na kayo at nang masuri na namin nang mabuti 'tong area."
I cradled Angelov's head in my arms, letting him bask in a temporary peace as both me and Sydney faced the police.
"Kayong dalawa," turo ng isang opisyal sa amin. "Kailangan ang statement ninyo. Sumama kayo sa presinto."
His arms tightened around my gut. I raked my fingers in his hair to sooth the both of us.
Nagpangyari ang kulog ng takot sa dibdib ko nang mahuli ang kakaibang reaksyon ng isang kasama na pulis. His brows were suspiciously furrowed towards Angelov who is still on his knees. My primitive instinct to protect him snapped that made me surround my arms more on his head with the solid means to cover him.
"May kinalaman din 'to?" Matapang niyang panduduro kay Angelov.
"He's her boyfriend," agap ni Sydney at tinuro ako. "Ako lang ang biktima rito, nadamay lang silang dalawa. I will tell you more about it once we 're set in your station."
Mabilis na umikot ang ulo ko sa kanya. Sydney threw a look that's telling me to just hold my peace.
"Sige na, sumunod na kayo rito," the police ordered us again, desperate to vacate the area.
Isang beses pang nagkatagpo ang tingin namin ng kaibigan ko bago siya sumunod at nagpatiuna sa nag-aabang na isa pang opisyal. I figured they need her presence on the other room where she was forced to hole up for weeks.
Sa huli ay kinailangan pa rin na manatili kami ni Sydney para sa paunang pahayag sa nangyari. It took an hour at least before we finally step out of the house with an official behind us. She was guided inside a separate police car away from Joaquin. Sumakay naman ako ng kay Angelov. Evrose was at the back and me at the front seat. Tahimik ang buong biyahe na pinaramdam sa akin ang pagbabawal na huminga man lang.
His recurrent glances never escaped me. Pinagbibigyan ko naman siya at hinayaan na magkatitigan kami pero ako ang unang umiiwas. I ended up getting haunted by the hollowed look in his eyes as if the mercy he implored moments ago has become his last. Angelov knows that it was wrong. We are both aware how he fucked up. He chose to take part in a dirty business so he must have known its vile consequences should the transaction goes wrong and yet, he still went for the bad decision of doing so.
I tried to imagine myself in his shoes and the choices were presented to me, to be a drug dealer is one. I will only have to go for it if either my life is in danger or my recourse was depleted. It might be just the same for him, because if his reason was mainly to earn more, well I never really saw him buy the fanciest things. He could have given me a ring that he promised but instead, he only made me one. He owns bygone possessions, a hand-me-down-pick up car. He has every reason to take a bite on the quick money offer and I'd suspect that he's only after its favorable cause.
It must be. I will lose my mind if it's not! Siguro naman ay hindi niya gagawin iyon may iba lang siyang pagpipilian, 'di ba? I'm not trying to justify his actions here or something, but I can't easily just condemn without giving him a chance to speak in his defense.
And besides, I made a promise to stick to his side no matter what. Hindi ko man sinabi nang diretsahan sa kanya, ito naman ang isa sa mga pangako sa sarili. I have confessed that I love him, and I should only prove it. I won't fail him through running away just because his wounds are starting to show. I will always adore the roses in his arm, and his thorns... not anymore do they scare me, because mostly, I wasn't really afraid for me. My fears were all more about for him.
Maliban doon, hindi nagpahuli sa mga dapat harapin ang pag-amin ko kay Ate Merewald. The rebellious part of me is tempting me to just keep this one from her. I was dead set on doing so, but what if she finds out?
So much for distracting myself, I looked up and saw the half part of the sky remained as the darkest shade of blue while we make a fast headway towards the ressurection of the sun. Sa harap ay natunghayan ko na unti-unti nang ginagapangan ng sinag ang malalim na bughaw, like the light is desperate to devour the darkness we try to leave behind.
Pero anumang bilis ng pagmamanipula ni Angelov, nanatili pa rin kami sa ilalim ng dilim. I can only watch the slow birth of light in the horizon from here, never reaching it... Just hoping for it.
"You stay here, I don't think they will question you. Ang alam nila ay wala tayong kinalaman. Though, my statement is still significant to further push Joaquin's guilt on his crimes."
Nasa tapat kami ng station pero wala pa sa amin ang bumababa. Home is calling me, pero hindi ko rin kayang iwan ang kaibigan sa loob. Sydney has been through so much and the last thing she needed is my abandonment.
"Sasama ako sa loob, Samara," Angelov gritted his teeth. "At siguro, aamin na rin."
"No! No... no..." bumalot ang iyak ko sa buong loob ng kotse.
I pulled his arm and hugged it tight to me, hindi inalintana na may isa pang tao sa maliban sa aming dalawa. Sinandal ko ang aking mukha sa braso niya at mas hinigpitan pa ang yakap sa akin hanggang sa kumalas na ito sa steering wheel.
"Pag nagising si Joaquin, sigurado ang banggit ng pangalan ko," mababa niyang wika.
I looked at him. "Ikaw na ang nagsabi, hindi ka niya babanggitin. He will find a way to get out then find you because... because he needs his fix from you."
"Kaya mas pipiliin pa natin na makalabas siya?" He threw me a sharp stare. "It's bullshit, Sam. I won't let you all spare my name just to keep me out in prison while that bastard is on the loose!"
My breathing is quick and harsh but his were even more. Wala akong nasabi at natahimik na lang, natanto na may punto nga naman siya. Hindi kinaya ang awa sa paninitig ko, nag-iwas siya ng tingin para itulak ang madilim na mga mata sa harapan. Umiigting ang panga niya.
"I'd be damned eitherway. Makalaya man siya, hindi ko pa rin ibibigay ang kailangan niya. I already stopped doing it and I don't have his money either. I didn't keep it."
I already know that by now but just because he stopped, it doesn't mean the chase already ends. Nakukumpirma ko na may darating pa mula sa nakikita kay Angelov. Hindi ko masimulang sisirin ang lalim ng iniisip niya, dahilan ng pagdidilim ng kanyang mukha. I saw dry stains of blood covered his knuckles. May maliliit din na talsik ng dugo ang kanyang shirt.
"One of them was suspicious of you a while ago. Ayaw kong..." I pulled a deep breath, quickly dismissing the thought. "Are you sure you want to get in? A-aren't you... scared?"
Napalingon ako sa likod dahil sa narinig na tawa ni Evrose. I couldn't help but glare at her.
"What's funny?"
Sumandal siya sa backrest at humalukiphip, mapang-asar ang ngisi sa akin habang umiiling-iling.
"Sam, the only thing Angelov is scared of is losing you. Kung takot siya sa kulungan, hindi niyan babaliin ang batas. We all have seen how he's on the verge of smashing Joaquin's skull making him more of a crackhead than he already is." She chuckled. "So don't worry about him."
Not comforted by her words, I didn't withdraw my dagger at her, I hate to entertain the idea that she is being a jerk right now but I might just have to overlook it. Tinulungan niya ako noong takot na takot ako at kung hindi dahil sa kanya, hindi kami masasalba. So even when I so wanted to fire back, I used that energy to calm down.
Binalik ko ang tingin kay Angelov nang marinig ang kalansing ng susi. Napaluwang ang kapit ko sa braso niya habang tinatanggal ang susi sa ignition.
"Puwede ka nang umuwi, Ev. Matatagalan kami rito," papalabas na siya ng sasakyan nang sinabi ito.
Sumunod ako at bumababa na rin.
"I'll wait for Syd."
I shot a frown at Evrose. She didn't give me a chance to confirm if she was serious while I still have so many questions about her. But that can wait, hindi na rin kasi ako napagbigyan ng pagkakataon at sinara na ang pinto nang makita ang pagpasok ni Angelov sa station.
More of my best friend's statement poured out when we went inside. Karamihan doon ay ang mga inamin niya sa akin kanina. Magkaharap kami, at sa tuwing napapalingon siya sa akin ay tumatango ako.
"He was abused by his father when he was young, then left. Hindi na rin bumalik. His Mom, I only just met her once when he brought me to their old house. Madalang na lang niyang inuuwian iyon mula nong mapabarkada. I think the influence he gathered from his friends was what groomed him to his vices."
And more of it for the rest of the hour. I spaced out a little as she recounted everything. Hindi akalain ang bagsak ko sa patibong. I wonder if Alisha and the rest were somehow involved in this too. Posible kaya na may alam sila?
"... At noong kinulong na niya ako, hindi na niya nililihim sa akin." Sydeny went on. "He even made me watch him inject those drugs and do cocaine. He snorts it like a champ."
Napapikit ako, asking in silence which drug did Angelov used to bring for Joaquin. I hate to think that he provided him all of his goods, pero hindi ko na mabago na iyon naman talaga ang totoo.
"Nakilala mo ba ang nagsu-supply sa kanila, Miss Faeldon?"
Buong lakas kong pinigilan ang sarili na magpasilip ng reaksyon. Except when I tightened my grip on Angelov's hand on my shoulder after his loud sigh. Napasulyap tuloy ang pulis sa amin.
"Hindi. Madilim sa sulok na iyon kaya si Joaquin lang ang namukhaan ko."
"Sigurado ka, Miss?"
I think i just totally stopped breathing. Pinigilan kong magpaanod sa tumitinding indayog ng kaba ko.
"Sigurado po ako," buong-buo ang tinig niya.
The officer nodded. "Basta sa oras na mahuli naming nagsisinungaling ka, makwe-kwestiyon ka, Miss. Magkakaroon ka rin ng kaso."
"Then do it. Just make sure Joaquin Gadiano rots in his cell, then I would care less if you put me to jail as well," matapang niyang sabi. "Now, can you please dismiss us? Kailangan pa namin ipa-check ang mga injuries namin."
I held Angelov's hand on my shoulders, just a need to feel that he's here. Takot ako na baka may bigla na lang humila sa kanya at itapon sa selda. Nanatili ang pananahimik niya kahit na noong pagdating sa ospital. We need our check ups lalo na kay Sydney na importante para sa kasong isasampa niya.
While Joaquin, at least a couple of police forces are manning his hospital room since he's already good as convicted. Gayunpaman, masyado pang maaga para makahinga kami nang maluwang. Joaquin is still yet to wake up. On the other hand, Sydney couldn't stop hoping that he dies.
I've been holding my tongue for the whole duration of going back home. Sa mga nagdaang minuto ay mukhang wala ring balak magsalita ni Angelov kaya hindi ko na pinilit. I took it as a hint that what he is asking for aside from my consideration, is understanding. Kahit na alam na alam niya na kailangan ko rin ng paliwanag.
I was desperate for his admission but I have to be patient. Sa tingin ko, sa aming dalawa ay siya ang mas nahihirapan. The thought that I had it easier to look past his sins than him struggle terribly to bend is really something. I watched him beg. He knew I was tiptoeing between anger and confusion.Sympathy and blame, at hindi ko masukat ang gumuhit na hapdi sa puso ko nang makitang ayaw nitong paniwalaan ang aking huling hatol. It's like he really expected me to just dispose him like that upon learning the stack of dirt he buried his hands on.
When I arrived to my sister's home, it was when they had all have sinked in to me.
Binuksan ko ang shower at hinayaan na mabuhusan ang aking kabuuan. Naked, raw and stunned, with a little help from the drizzle I washed away the embedded prints of the monster's claws. The same monster my best friend used to love, that same monster the love of my life served to grow.
I dropped my forehead against the hard tiled wall as my shoulders start to quiver. Nakiisa ang mainit na agos ng mga luha ko sa malamig na ulan mula sa shower. I hugged myself tight, but my fists just couldn't stop beating my arms then scrub the skin until the pain consume me. I want his prints gone on my neck, forgotten on my skin, die in my cheeks! Sumigaw ako sa gitna ng ingay ng pagbuhos habang dumidiin ang bawat pagkiskis at bugbog sa sarili hanggang sa maramdaman ko ang matinding hapdi.
I cried harder. I screamed louder, lunod na sa sariling mga luha at agos ng tubig. Lumakas ang nginig ng mga balikat ko at namamaos nang sumigaw muli. Yakap ang baywang ko para takpan ang nangingitim na tiyan mula sa bugbog habang paulit-ulit din na tinatama ang ulo sa pader. I wanted to bleed in this moment just to completely unload his harsh memory. I want Angelov to see this. I crave for his hands to take over the marks I'd hate to linger for the rest of me. Pero paano nga ba niya magagawa iyon kung siya mismo ay nangangailangan din ngayon?
I summoned hate for him. Pinilit ko na mag-alaga ng galit pero sa huli, sinusukuan lang din ako. No amount of any destestation could reign over the love. The love that I have also came to realized has only become stronger and no longer was just a flickering flame.
My cries began to calm down as soon as it dawn on me. Mabilis ang hininga ako, hindi natutuyo ang mga labi na dinaanan ng pag-agos.
Angelov fed a monster. He fueled the grim fixation of these people and now I fought against myself for still accepting him. Does he deserve it? Maybe. Everyone does, I guess. Bur now I came to think the reason why I did that was not merely to be considerate ir lenient. Angelov made his bed, and he knew he must lie in it. But I allowed him to make a choice to change his ways, learned the consequences as he lives anew because he also deservest it.
Nevertheless, I still yet to know his side on why he resorted to doing it all the while dismissing the nudging thought if somehow... he's also tried it.
Tinutuyo ko ng puting towel ang buhok ko nang kinuha ang naka-charge kong phone. Drained and in dire need of sleep, I hopelessly sat on my bed and pressed my phone to life. Angelov was able to bring my bag with him when they drove to the abduction house. It was off when I got abducted kaya hindi na ako nagulat sa sunod-sunod na mga mensahe ni Ate mula pa noong Sabado ng gabi.
Ate:
Where are you? Hindi ka pa umuuwi.
Ate:
If you're with Angelov, he should be driving you home before eleven. I won't be in the house 'til Monday morning.
Ate:
Sam, answer the phone.
Ate:
Hindi ka sumasagot. I called Angelov to bring you home. Aalis na ako. I'm on my graveyard duty.
The recent message was just sent this morning, Nasa ospital pa ako ng mga oras na ito, nagpapa-check up.
Ate:
Make sure to eat. You can heat the food I stored in the fridge.
Ate:
Sam, busy sa hospital kaya bukas pa ako makakauwi. I left money on the kitchen table for your allowance just in case na hindi pa ako dumating sa bahay.
Ate:
Don't you ever get in trouble or I'll turn into Graciella.
Ate:
Take care. I love you.
I sighed deeply, napamasahe sa aking mukha at agad naramdaman ang katok ng maiinit na luha. Today is not the right time to be mellow but her last message moved me. I don't understand... I spell words of love to people who couldn't give it back, but refuse to say it to those who are willing to sacrifice. It's infuriating that the idea of self-destruction is haunting me again.
Hinayaan ko ang sarili na humikbi dala ang napagtanto. I peered back down on the message, contemplating on what to answer. I sniffed. My reply's overdue, so maybe responding to each is not that necessary.
Me:
Yes, ate. Thank you. Sorry late reply. Nasa bahay na po ako.
Umulit ang malalim na hininga saka ibinagsak ang sarili pahiga sa kama. I stared at the ceiling and even with the absence of thoughts, just the recent horrific experience I had which meld into a one whole pond of emotion gathered in my chest, I let my tears fall and burned each side of my eyes. Sa ganoong ayos at pakiramdam ay unti-unti akong hinila sa kawalan.
I don't know how long was I asleep, basta ay naigtad na lamang ako sa pakiramdam na tinulak ako. I could have fell down from great heights inside that swift dream but I woke up. Una kong napansin ang dilim sa labas.
Nilingon ko ang pag-ilaw ng cellphone ko at huli na nang masagot ang tawag ni Angelov. Three more missed calls were made prior to that. Sa halip na tugunan ang tawag, nagbihis ako at nag-ayos para puntahan siya sa bahay. But is he in the house though?
I typed him a message instead.
Me:
Where are you?
Kakasuot ko lang ng unang nahagip na loose shirt sa cabinet. Mula nang tumira ako rito, pansin kong hindi na ako gaanong conscious sa sinusuot. For sure it's because no one can order me around now on what I should put on, and also, Angelov doesn't really mind.
Angelov:
Bahay.
Me:
Doing?
Angelov:
Come here, please.
Kumunot ang noo ko. Is he finally ready to tell me everything?
Uplifted by the prospect, my heart scuttled away as I hurried my routines. Ni-lock ko ang pinto pagkalabas at walang kinikilalang bagal na tinungo ang bahay nila na segundo lang naman ang lapit.
Wala pa ako sa harap ay kapansin-pansin na ang buhay na ilaw sa durungawan sa itaas at pinakalikod na bahagi ng bahay. The only lit window was facing my direction so it was easy to see. When I arrived, I found the lower ground empty and dark, so I quickly presume that Angelov was upstairs doing God knows what.
"Lov?" tawag ko nang binuksan ang pinto, hindi man lang nag-atubiling kumatok.
Wala nga siya rito sa may living room. Kung hindi lang sa makitid na ilaw na sumilip mula sa pinakamalayong pinto sa itaas, tuluyan nang madilim ang bahaging ito.
Anyways, I stepped inside and followed the light source upstairs.
Ascending through the stairs, I suddenly remember Charlie when he mentioned about a frequently locked room where Angelov usually does his paintings. Habang papalapit ako sa kuwartong iyon, nagsimulang makipagpaligsahan ng puso ko. I'm not sure if it's a good idea to just invade in what I think is his privacy. Kaya nga lagi iyong naka-lock, 'di ba? Ayaw niyang may ibang pumapasok doon. Though Charlie had gone in once, should I also take it as a sign?
"Angelov?" I called again just to declare my presence.
Huminto ako sa tapat ng pinto. Looking down, a line of raylight slips through the narrow space between the floor and the bottom edge of the door. Dito ko rin natanto kung bakit walang sumasagot. He is playing some alternative music enough to be heard only by who's inside or standing near the room.
Should I open it? Why do I feel like I'm about to uncover something forbidden? But he told me to come here anyway. Isa pa, ano pa ba ang itatago niya maliban doon sa mga nalaman ko?
I sucked in a slow deep breath and turned the knob to open. Little did I know that doing so would let me delve into one of the deepest parts of his soul.
Malalim na hininga ang hinila ko at hindi na pinakawalan habang sinusuyod ang paningin sa buong silid.
Paint bottles, cans and color tubes scatter everywhere on the light wood floor. Walang takip iyon kaya kitang-kita ang pagkalat ng mga patak ng iba't ibang kulay ng pintura. May iilang bote ang natutumba na, walang laman. Some empty paint cans hold different kinds and sizes of brushes. While leaning on each corner of the walls are sets of canvasses. Isang bahagi ay nag-ipon ang mga blankong canvass at pinagsunod sunod mula sa maliit hanggang ssa pinakamalaking hugis at sukat, habang ang mga hanay sa kalahating bahagi ng silid ay puro pintado na.
I couldn't help but marvel more at this colorful mess. This is like Angelov's secret playground, or a kind of laboratory to dissect colors just to experiment shades and discover new sets of art. Truly, this right here is what I can call as Angelus Lovell's painting empire.
Ang pinakamalaking canvas ay nakasandal a pinakadulong bahagi ng silid sa gitna. May ladder sa gilid niyon dahil kaunting angat lang ay maaabot na ang kisame. Angelov was right in front of it, sitting on the floor and too focused on his task. The Boy With the Thorn in His Side by The Smiths is currently playing loud enough for him to hear anyone sneaking in. Buti na lang ay ni-lock ko ang pinto sa ibaba.
I took that opportunity to scan the rest of the room.
Walang nang ibang laman ang silid kundi mga materyales lamang sa pagpipinta. No bed or any furniture except a round wooden stool chair tucked on the corner and a long wooden table on the other end of the room that is cramming the rest of his supplies. Sa ilalim ay mga kahon na pinaglalagyan ng mga paint tubes at bottles. Behind the same table are a couple of easel stands.
I have to be honest, this is not the cleanest room I've ever been. More paints dotted his area of the floor. May ilang bahagi ng puting pader ay natatalsikan ng kulay, at iba sa mga canvass ay nakalatag na sa sahig.
But even with all the mess, this is where the huge piece of his heart find its peace.
Tuluyan ko nang sinara ang pinto. Napalakas yata dahilan ng mabilis na paglingon ni Angelov. He immediately stopped what he was doing and his lips were apart. He didn't seem annoyed or shocked at my trespassing, so I took it as a cue na lapitan siya.
His piercing eyes never left even when I was moving slow towards him. Lumipad ang pag-aalinlangan sa akin nang matanto na hindi niya ako pipigilan. He let go of the tool he is holding and rest that hand on the floor. He leaned his back, nakatukod ang mga kamay sa sahig at pinapanood ang paglapit ko.
Tahimik na suminghap ako, hindi makahinga sa paninitig niya. His eyes were just too heavy and intense for my heart to carry as if a dark omen is about to unleash and break through. Sinulyapan ko ang sining sa malaking canvas para roon saglit na pagpahingahin ang puso bago siya binalikan ng aking mga mata.
Bumaba ang tingin ko sa katawan niya. He did not bother to put on some shirt so his toned and inked torso was on display. His tan complexion turned into a palette as several tiny drops of colors sprinkled on his bare upper body. Even his washed ripped jeans that seems to have seen better days, may mga mantsa rin ng pintura.
My eyes paused at his very obvious v-line and caught a peek of another tattoo in there. I swallowed hard and quickly averted my gaze back to his punishing eyes. Mariin na pinigilan ang naiisip na mga kababalaghan. I smiled at him to perfectly hide my salacious thoughts when in the first place, I am nowhere near to resort to that.
"Nagpe-paint ka?" tanong ko sabay baling sa mga materyales sa gilid.
Umiiyak-iyak pa ako kanina tapos ngayon, mga ganoong bagay ang iisipin ko? Though in my defense, Angelov's stare just doesn't recognize the concept of innocence, kahit anong pilit ko na maging disente ang aking ngiti.
He inhaled slow and lazily went back to his unfinished task. May inabot siya na mukhang spatula at nagsikop ng powdered color sa maliit na container. It was a red powder, then he put a moderate amount of it on a glass palette before adding another powdered color. On the top right side of the palette, he reached for a small bottle of oil and squeezed drops on the pigment before mixing the colors using the same spatula. He is blending it many times until it achieved the pastelike consistency.
"What's that?" tukoy ko sa ginagamit niyang panghalo ngayon sa kulay. Using it, he did some slow circular motions to spread the blended color against the glass palette.
"Glass muller."
"For?" I tilted my head to the side, utterly curious.
"Grinding pigment."
"Ah..." Tumatango tango ako at pinagmamasdan ang pagiging pino na ngayon ng kulay.
Sa hindi malamang dahilan, napunta ang tingin ko sa kamay niya at dahan-dahan na gumapang sa kanyang braso. The way he holds the glass muller firmly, provoked the tight protrusion of his veins that instantly reminded me of his every soft pulls and strong holds. It reminded me of mild caress against soft skin and rough control. Kakaibang kiliti ang naglalaro sa dulo ng aking tiyan nang may naalala.
I swallowed hard. Bago pa malunod sa kaisipan na iyon ay umahon na ako at nilipat ang pagsisid ng mga mata sa mga kulay. Now this is a more decent view than his arms.
The blended hue reminded me of a deep scarlet night or a red vintage aesthetic. Angelov tested its consistency on a paper, para siguro malaman kung sapat na o kailangan pang pinuhin ang kulay. He didn't mixed again. Using the spatula, he scooped the final color and slid it in a white and extremely tiny watercolor pan. He filled at least four pans and compiled it with the other made colors in a wooden box.
"Anong kulay iyon?" tanong ko ulit, namamangha sa ginagawa niya.
"Hulaan mo," he teased and smirked without leaving his focus off from the work.
Hindi ko napigilan ang ngiti, genuinely relieved that somehow he was still able to make things light around us despite of what happened last night. And that in anyway amidst the predicament he's in, he has this passion that he can always run away to and find solace in himself.
"Paano mo nagagawa lahat nang 'to?" wala sa sarili kong tanong habang hindi pa nauubusan ng pagkamangha.
"Hmm?"
It's hard to get over how he was able to create these works of art. Every painting just seems to look like high definition photo images. Napailing ako, lalo na nang tutukan ang painting ng isang babae. She isn't familiar to me but her beauty is sublime. Posing naked on a couch, she covered her left boob while the half part of her body is filled with crystal aquamarine tones festooned with some pink intricacies.
I still find it impossible to believe. it's like he literally tore off that woman's face and glued it on the canvas!
"Sino 'to?" I asked him, trying not to sound jealous.
Bahagya siyang lumingon sapat para sundan ang tinuturo ng daliri ko. He went back to the giant canvas. Mukhang tapos na siya sa paghahalo ng kulay.
"Wala, hindi ko kilala."
I fell silent. Nilingon niya ang pananahimik ko at natawa nang hindi pa rin ako umiimik at nakatitig lang sa kanya.
"Wala, Sam. Hindi ko nga kilala." He chuckled and stared back at me before he resumed to his task. "It's just a dream," tahimik niyang sinabi.
"Dream girl mo?"
He didn't face me when he let out another silent and amused laughter. "Hindi. Napaginipan lang."
Wow. I don't particularly remember faces in my dreams while him... does it mean...
"How about the other paintings you made? Panaginip mo rin?"
Binaba niya ang kamay na hawak ang brush. I saw the heavy rise and fall of his shoulders. Ilang sandaling tila tinitigan niya ang imahe na pinipinta sa harap. A long pause rippled in between us and when he finally spoke, his voice sounded so low and reluctant.
"Most of them, oo. Hindi ako nakakatulog..."
"Kapag hindi mo sila napipinta?" pagtatapos ko sa hindi niya masabi-sabi.
Hindi na siya nagsalita. Kahit galaw ng ulo para umiling o tumango ay wala. Another round of deep breath before he went back to his painting.
So aside from delving into his soul, if what he said is true, does it also mean that I am standing in the middle of his dreams, too?"
My eyes visited the painting one last time until a certain color beside the canvas caught my attention. Kumunot ang noo ko at dahan-dahan na lumapit. Dahil natatabunan ang hinahanap ko, kailangan hawiin ang naunang canvass sapat para silipin lang sana ang nasa likod. Isang hawi, natigilan ako.
My heart hammered in a ruthless beat as my eyes lingered on the unmoving scene but was clear and as vivid as my memory. Staring at it for the longest time, it didn't only make me watch the memory unfold, it made me experience the whole of it from the running, screaming, chasing down to the edge of taking her own life. I was brought back there again to the time where I thought the both of us have already forgotten.
Parang tinunawan ng buto, magaan ang bitaw ko sa canvas laman ang madilim na alaala. Nanlalambot ang mga tuhod ko na umatras. I bought some time to calm my nerves and sooth the trembling of my lips before I found the guts to look at him.
Lumundag ang puso ko nang makitang nakatitig na siya sa akin at tuluyan nang tinalikuran ang higanteng canvas na pinagkaabalahan kanina. I attempted a soft laughter but it only turned out awkward.
"H-hindi mo na 'to panaginip," I pointed out.
Instead of responding, he only dipped his chin down as if he is giving me permission to get closer to him. Hindi na ako nag-aalinlangan, inaasahan na sa pagkakataong ito ay bubuksan na niya ang sarili. I figured that he wasn't that ready a while ago because if he was, we would have already been talking about it since I arrived.
Huminto ako sa kanyang harapan at nakadungaw sa kanya. Siya, nakatingala sa akin na tila sumasamba. He was leaning on his arm with his hand flat on the floor while the other arm rested on the top folding of his knee. Huli ko ang kamay na iyon na ang mga daliri ay unti-unting inaabot ang kamay ko. I pushed my hand a few inches for him to finally reach it.
Napahinga ako nang malalim nang mahawakan na niya ang kamay ko, like it was a sign for the both of us that I wasn't afraid of him.
"It is, Sam..." his voice cracked a little bit. "Paano kung hindi kita sinundan...?"
Mahina ang boses niya sa huli pero ang lakas ng pag-anod sa akin nito ay hindi matatablan. Slowly, I folded my knees and knelt in front of him so to align our gazes.
"A-anong nangyari?" marahan kong tanong.
Kung kanina ay walang pag-aalinlangan ang lantaran na paninitig niya, ngayon na magkapantay kami ay tila may nais na magtago sa likod ng kanyang mga mata. He blinked softly, and I thought about those prominent lashes that seems to sooth the worst days his eyes have seen.
I could see them beneath, habang nanginig ang mga mata niya na palipat lipat ang tingin sa akin. A flicker of pain seems to take a peek behind his shadowed eyes but quickly disappeared when it found light. I could see his utmost control and the excruciating tortrure he tried so hard to bury in his own dark.
"Did... I die in your dream, Angelov?" I asked more carefully.
He froze and his eyes looked mortified before they fell down to our joined hands. Looking down like a dark sorrowful angel mourning for his withering soul, he nodded.
I faintly bit my bottom lip and cupped the other side of his face. He smiled bitterly and with obvious hesistance, lifted his gaze to meet mine. Biglang ginupo ng dilim ang mga mata niya. Umiigting ang panga.
"Then I picked up the same gun and pointed it to myself," his tone served a deadly cold.
I swallowed at the sudden revelation of his dark dreams. "Naulit ba ang ganoong panaginip mo?"
He scrunched up his nose and scratch it, nakalimutan yata na mantsado ng pintura ang kamay niya kaya namanstahan tuloy ang ilong niya.
"Medyo."
Huminga ako nang malalim at binigyan siya ng nang-aalu na ngiti. "It's just a dream, Angelov. We're alive..."
Nanatili ang tunaw na dilim sa mga mata niyang titig sa akin nang kabilang pisngi niya naman ang hinawakan ko. He wore a faint smile whe he leaned his cheek in my palm and kissed it without breaking the connection of our gazes.
Naputol lamang iyon nang bumaba ang tingin ko sa biglaan niyang paghawak sa baywang ko. Unfolding his knees so they would spread straight on the floor and on each of my side, cornering me in between his legs, he held my waist and pulled me close to him. Suminghap ako pero hindi na nagulat, napatulala nga lang sa posisyon namin. Kung hindi lang ako humawak sa mga balikat niya, mabubuwal ako at baka lalagpak sa katawan niya.
I looked at him, silenty asking what should I do. Without the use of words, he pulled me closer to him until he was embracing me. Hawak pa rin ang aking baywang ay inangat niya ang katawan ko palapit sa kanya. His other hand left my waist to thrust in between the fold of my knee. Instinct told me to stretch out my thighs while Angelov settled my position in his lap, straddling him.
His arms pulled me closer to perfectly locked me in place. Tiningala niya ako at nakita agad ang manipis na latag ng pawis sa kanyang mukha. Inihipan ko ang mukha niya at agad nilipad ang magulo nang mga hibla sa harapan. He blinked softly, and before i could repeat what I did, he buried his face in my neck and sighed like the storm has finally calmed to a stop.
"Ibebenta ko ang iba sa mga nandito. Hiningi ko na rin ang tulong ni Charlie para sa presyo," biglang sabi niya.
Humina ang mga kamay kong humahaplos sa buhok niya at tiningala ang canvas sa harap ko. It was unfinished but I can easily make out a face of a woman.
"So I'm here because... you need my help, too?"
He inhaled deeply before pulling away to look at me. "Kung okay lang sa 'yo."
"Anong gagawin ko?"
"Picture lang."
Ngumuso ako at tumatango-tangong sinuyod ang paningin sa mga paintings. Wala namang kaso sa akin, hindi ko lang mapigilang isipin na bakit hindi niya ito ginawa noon? Let's say he did, but then why did he still end up with that dirty deal?
Dahil roon ay pumalo ang kaba ko. As much as possible, I want to steer clear of everything that will always remind me of last night. Huminga ako nang malalim at binalik ang tingin kay Angelov.
I smiled and suddenly thought about teasing him a little bit just to ease ourselves from the tension.
"Ngayon mo na ba gustong kunan? Uuwi muna ako kung ganoon para kunin ang camera ko."
The firm carving of his lips thinned to fight a smile, pero may sumilip pa rin na ngiti roon. Tinaasan niya ako ng kilay. His dark eyes sparkled with so much amusement. Tuwang-tuwa sa pang-aasar ko. Umiling siya.
"Bukas na," may garalgal ang boses niyang sabi.
"So... puwede na akong umuwi?" I sounded like a little girl asking him as an adult. "Balik na lang ako kasi bukas mo pa naman pala kailangan."
"Hindi pa, Sam.." seryoso niyang sabi na pinagtaguan nang kaunting galit.
I giggled and stuck my tongue out to tease him more.
Hindi siya mukhang galit, pero hindi ko rin naman siya nakikitaan ng tuwa. He just looked extremely serious that it makes the cut of his jaw more hard and sharply defined. Lalo pang dumiin ang dilim sa mga mata niya dahil sa mariin ng titig sa akin at tila ba bigla nitong tinalon ang lalim ng kanyang pag-iisip.
Ngayon ay hindi ko na mapigilan. I decided to open the topic that keeps on chasing us and yet, we struggle to evade.
"Why did you do it, Angelov?" nanlamig ang tono ko.
He looked away with his eyes shadowed.
"Money."
Sinubukan kong habulin ang tingin niya. "Did you regret it?"
"Always," he said, his tone was faint.
"Did you have a choice?"
His jaw worked as his gaze on the floor went deeper, like he is fighting so hard to block the spillage of truth. The longer I watch him, he is slowly tunring into a billowing smoke from the subdued rage he tries hard to smother with the ingrained darkness he is made of.
Dinala niya ang kontroladong galit na iyon sa akin at umiling.
His brows furrowed deeper and he looked down again. He sucked in a deep breath and I can easily tell how he wanted to be relieved by the burden after it. He licked his lips, pabalik-balik ang dulas ng dila sa ibabang labi bago pinalitan ng mariin na pagkagat ng ngipin. My eyes fell at the silver piercing on his bottom lip.
My questions are still pending. There is still so much I need to know but it's too vain to force him. I don't want to oblige him to be open just because I needed an answer, it is also for him if he feels better admitting it or worse. Kung ilalagay ko man ang sarili sa kanya, ayaw ko rin naman na pinipilit. It was only revealed to us yesterday, so it's still fresh in our heads that it even buried the blissful memory we 've made just prior to it.
This is one of those I can call a tragedy. When the smiles of yesterdays are now entirely buried beneathe by today's bruises.
"Thank you, Sammie..."
Hinila ako ng pag-imik niya at namalayan ang kiliti sa aking leeg.I peered down and watch his hand lightly playing with the Dieguez necklace he gifted to me.
Marahan akong pumikit, tinatakawil ang alalala pagkatapos naming iukit ang mga pangako.
Dinungaw ko ang kamay na hawak pa rin ang balikat niya at pinagmamasdan ang ginuhit na singsing. I smiled at Angelov, needing him to see my thoughts. I want this memory to glow in our minds more than any other of what is to come. I want this memory not easily quelled by any situation we absolutely have zero control of. Fate. Accidents. A God's will. Death. I want this memory not just a blink of an eye, nor a sea caress to a shore. I want this memory not just another sunrise or sunset. A whisper or a fleeting kiss. But I want this memory to be a forever deep wound in our hearts.
Dahan-dahan akong yumuko para abutin ang kanyang dibdib. My eyes fluttered to a close as my lips touched his warm chest right where his heart is beating fast and true. Every wave of its beat vibrates on my skin causing me to shudder and ride along to the rush of his blood.
Unti-unti ay inayos ko ang pag-upo sa kandungan niya. I didn't epxpect what to see but looking at his face right now, he appeared to be stunned and confused. May sumisilip din na galit doon at may tingin din na parang tinatakwil ko siya. His lips were apart then eventually shut.
"We got married yesterday, remember? Walang ibang nangyari."
Nang hindi nagbabago ang anyo, gumalaw ang matalas na linya ng kanyang panga nang sumulyap siya sa aking labi at mga mata, pabalik-balik. Inayos ko ang pagkakapulupot ng mga braso ko sa leeg niya.
"You are Angelus Lovell Dieguez, renown tattoo artist and the world's next Picasso, married on the twelfth of October two thousand thirteen to Samara Vidaurri, future photographer and... maybe storyteller," I smiled as I dreamed with eyes wide open.
I licked my lips when I felt another wave of dullness in my chest.
"Pero sa mga panahong iyon, Lov, sinubukan mo ba kahit isang beses? Have you tried..." I swallowed. "The drugs?"
Binaba ko ang aking tingin sa dibdib niya habang inuugoy ng sariling kaba.
"Oo."
Pumikit ako at nanginig ang mga mata sa kumakatok na mga luha.
"Ikaw, Samara."
I gasped and lost all my chances to speak when he caught my face and the next thing, he claimed my lips. Blazing heat spread through my face down to my body as he started to suck my lower lip. The kiss forced my mouth to open, an invitation for his tongue to delve into my mouth and sensually curl it, rewarding him a moan.
Para akong binuhos sa apoy nang habang tumatagal, lumalalim ang halik niya. I pulled away a little bit just to breathe, pero hindi pa nakadalawa nang muli nyang hinuli ang labi ko. I whimpered at his swift attack. I have to tighten my grip on his hair at the back of his head to keep myself from melting at his every soft mold on my mouth. Lalo na dahil sinasalihan niya nang marahang pagkagat ang labi ko at tatahanin naman ng dila niya bago ang muling malalim na halik.
Calloused hands glided against delicate skin. My stomache churned as I felt his caress from my waist sliding up to my back with a firm purpose. He pulled me closer like he just declared distance a forgotten concept. Tumagilid ang ulo niya para mahalikan ako nang mas malalim. In time with the deepening kiss was another soft sweep of his tongue while a finger grazed below the line of my brassiere causing me to shudder. Because of the way my body writhed against him, it created friction against something hard and full in between my legs. I jumped.
Mabilis ang hininga ko siyang tinitigan, nagulat sa naramdaman. His looked at me too, a bit confused at my sudden recoil but the haze of heavy desire in his eyes was so thick, as thick as the steel member I just felt in between my legs. Hinihingal din siya at namumula ang awang na mga labi.
"Ano?" tanong niya, hindi malaman kung may inis ba roon o aliw.
Hinayaan ko siyang pinagmasdan lang akong nababaguhan. He licked his lips making them more wet.
I know I may come off as pure and innocent at first, but I am no stranger to these kinds of things. Kung si Sydnyey ba naman ang kaibigan mo. But I haven't done this before. Angelov would be the first. God, I even sucked him off!
"Sammie..." he crooned gently it sounded like tiny white feathers teasing my senses.
I let out a long soft exhale as I felt his nose grazed lightly against my chin. Pinatakan niya nang magaan na halik ang baba ko, naglalambing. A zapped of shiver nudged my spine, and I whimpered a little bit. Umakyat ang mga patak na iyon hanggang sa marating ang aking mga labi at muling inangkin.
I opened my mouth to let him in. Gumanti ako nang marahan. Kumunot ang noo ko nang biglang naisip ang nais kong subukan. Hesitantly, I grinded my hips forward to feel it more, to confirm the electric sensation that is feeding my curiosity. My core throbbed faster as I hit it again and again, the fullness of it, when my movements became more dedicated to the point of beyond control.
"Ahh..." an unfamiliar erotic moan clawed in my throat.
Ikinahiya ang sariliing boses ay binaon ko ang mukha sa leeg niya. I didn't stop moving against his crotch. Habang tumatagal ang pabalik balik na pagdama ko roon, unti unti akong natutunaw dahil sa naglalagablab na lagnat na umaangkin sa akin.
Pinikit ko ang mga mata at pinakiramdaman ang takot na inasahan kong mamuo. Gigising ba ang pagtanggi? Joaquin almost did a number of me but he was unsuccessful. Though, it's still a bit traumatic but I just want to forget. Kaya naman nang maramdaman ko ang gapang ng kamay ni Angelov sa likod, hindi ko siya pinigilan. Fear got overpowered by his luscious touch. I jumped a little bit when he unhooked my bra. Instead of stopping him, I only pushed myself deeper as he removed it out of my body.
A strong hand kneaded my now bare boob. Tumingkayad ako at napabilis ang indayog ng balakang na tila ba may hinahabol. The fullness in between my thighs became more prominent and the aching pool of desire was more defined that I just want more of it until it would ruin me. Naramdaman ko ang pagkakalukot ng mukha ko sabay sa boses na muling tumakas mula sa akin.
From my boob, his touch trickled smoothly down to my stomache and travelled further 'til it reached the hem of my denim shorts. Ramdam ko ang pagkalikot niya roon, then I realized he was trying to unbutton it then unzipped to reveal my panty.
Bahagya akong huminto para mas damhin ang kamay niya. I looked down and tried to take a peek at what he is doing. I watched his hand disappeared inside my underwear until I could feel it finally found its way in between my folds. I realized how wet I was when he thrusted a finger inside and moved it as if to provoke a higher breed of desire.
I let out a short and quick breath. Bumagsak ang ulo ko sa balikat niya at nagsimulang gumalaw muli, umaahon at bumababa sa kanya.
"Do you like that?" napapaos niyang bulong. Parang sinisinagan niya ang tenga ko. His finger is starting to push in and out of me.
"Uh-hmm..." kinagat ko ang labi ko at tumango.
I was a frustrated mess when he suddenly removed his hand from there. Parang narinig ko pa siyang natawa nang makita ang gumuhit na inis sa mukha ko. I got more irrritated, or maybe it was the embarassment that did it most especially when he held the ends of my shirt and pulled it up to disregard, exposing my flesh. He tossed it somewhere, no time to see where it fell when without warning, Angelov dipped his head down my chest to reach a boob and sucked it deliciously in his sinful mouth.
Pakiramdam ko umikot ang mga mata ko. I gasped so hard I could tell I inhaled all the dust in this room. Sweet tortured speared right through me that I lose my usual self and remaining sanity ever since I met him. Tumingala ako at napayakap sa kanyang ulo, mas dinidiin siya roon. His tounge flicked my nipple just one time before a tight grip on my waist to lift me up. In one smooth effort, he laid me down on the paint-filled floor.
He nested in between my legs and was looming over me. His broad and rough built shadowed my body from the light. Inatake niya agad ako ng halik pero hindi rin nagtagal nang unti-unti iyong bumababa sa aking dibdib. Nalalasing sa bawat patak, at ang diin ng mga labi ay nakakayanig. Pilitin ko mang pumikit ay hindi ko magawa para pagmasdan siya sa ginagawa.
I met his gaze and immediately witness the dark hunger in his eyes as his tongue peeked out. He is proudly showing it to me how his tongue swirl around my nipple over and over again before sucking it hard that his cheeks hollowed. He looked like a starved beast smugly boasting a feast to his rivals. Napapikit ako. I bit my lip hard when he pulled a pebble in his teeth then flapped his tongue from the inside before licking it in a circular motion.
Pakiramdam ko ay sumisingaw na ang usok sa katawan kong nag-aalab. Nanghihina ang mga kamay na hawak ang ulo niya at tuluyan na ngang kumawala nang bumaba ang mga halik niya. He stopped when he reached to my stomache.
Dumilat ako. Breathing hard, my eyes quickly flew to him and found him angrily staring at the faint bruise on my tummy. Sinubukan ko iyong takpan, iniisip na baka huminto siya dahil doon. And maybe, he might find it unattractive.
His jaw moved repeatedly like violent curses were kicking against it.
"Gawa ni Joaquin 'to?" angil niya.
Kabado ako nang tumango. It made me think he might stop just because I'm still in pain.
He shut his eyes tight and seethed in violence. I caught the prominent wave of his Adam's apple when he swallowed hard. Hindi maipagkakaila ang usbong ng galit niya. His whole body is shaking and red with utmost anger that his veins are almost popping out of his skin. His tattoos might jump out of him too because of so much fear for him.
Hindi pa siya nakakabawi at tila pinapatay na si Joaquin sa kanyang isip. Mabilis ang hininga niya.
"Angelov," I called softly and reached a hand to him.
Dumilat siya at kinabahan ako sa sumisingaw pa rin niyang poot. I can literally sense his decision to stop this.
"Ayos lang..." I smiled and tried to pull him to me.
He didn't budge. Salubong pa rin ang kilay niya pero unti-unti nang kumakalma.
"Please...?" I begged a little too soft.
It took a while before he gave in. Bumaba ang tingin niya sa tiyan ko. Slowly, he spread a palm on my bruise and made some sweet soft caresses filled with care. Namungay ang mga mata ko habang pinagmamasdan iyon. He crouched forward so to plant a kiss on it as if doing so would ease the pain. My stomache rolled by the contact, and I was instantly lulled by the notion that the prints of his lips would somehow replace the marks of the knuckle that harmed it.
His light kisses descended 'til it reached the hem of my panty. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang sa isang hila niya sa aking short ay naibaba na niya nang walang kahirap-hirap ang dalawang natitira kong saplot. Both clothes flew over his head when he threw it then proceeded to the quick grip at the back of my thighs to slide me closer to him. He put his hands on my inner thighs to spread them apart, exposing my oozing wet flesh right in front of his face like a newly served meal.
I was in complete astonishment staring at his turned-on face looming in between the wide V of my thighs. He bent forward.
Oh shit.
The initial stroke of his tongue tracing the line of my slit already sent my body to the edge of convulsion. I squirmed as he buried his nose deeper into me. My toes curled hard as he ruled me by his velvet tongue. He teased me by repeating the motions, plunging his tongue and flicked my pulsing heat before gliding up and started sucking on my nub.
"Oh my god..." I whispered, my body steaming with heat.
Sinubukan ko na isara ang mga binti ko ngunit hawak na iyon ni Angelov para pigilan at panatilihin ang pagkakabukas. I was too shy by what he was doing but at the same time, frantically pleasured that instead of voicing out my complaint, a smutty purr always pours out of my mouth. Shameless, I unrestrictedly bowed down under the promising hands of a little death when he slid a finger inside me and hooked it in my womb as he sucked me harder.
"Lov..." isang boses na hindi ko na kilala.
Suminghap ako at ramdam ang pagkakalukot ng mukha habang dinadama ang pagkakalunod ko sa kamunduhan. Under the mercy of deep lust and instinct, I rocked my hips against his face. Another finger joined his one, stretching me, and together they made a slow carnal rhythm, pushing to him my throbbing flesh more.
"Ahh! Hmm..."
My hands flew on his hair and yanked them. Kasabay nito ang pag-ahon ng katawan ko at kung saan na dumadapo ang mga kamay. Now they landed on his arm that was strongly holding my thigh in place, and i clawed at it. His other hand reached up to squeeze my mound while he continues to do insanely well with his hard and loud sucking I could hear his every lubricious pop!
Hindi mapakali na tila may nagwawalang delubyo sa loob ko, kailangan ko nang mapagkapitan. Nahagip ko ang lata ng pintura sa gilid ngunit agad namang natumba nang mahawakan. I felt the cold spill of paint crept in between my back and the floor.
"Ah! Lov..." I begged. He groaned against my pink hot flesh and sucked it harder.
My body jolted upward with a contraction in my lower belly. Bumagsak ang likod ko at muli na namang umahon na parang tinutulak ako ng alon nang unti-unting sinalubong ng namumuo sa gitna ko. My eyes were barely open and my breaths turned hotter and harsh until it stopped when a rhythmic pleasure squeezed around his fast moving fingers. One last flick of his tongue shot my soul to wild oblivion and I trembled.
Mahabang ungol ang pinakawalan ko. Naninigas ang katawan sa ere habang dinadama ang panandaliang silip ng langit bago nagpadala sa aking pagbagsak. Falling hard and heavy on the floor, my body went lax.
I felt a trickle ooze out from my center. Hindi pa umaalis si Angelov roon, nakalublob pa ang mukha at hindi pa tapos. I was still breathing hard watching his head move slowly in there as he licked my juices until the very last drop.
Masyado akong nanlalanta upang mamalayan ang pag-ahon niya. When I opened my eyes, I caught the gleaming dark hunger in his punishing soulful orbs. He is slowly crawling into me until our bodies aligned. I was still humming from the recent release and with eyes looking drunk, he suddenly fisted my hair and tilted it up so to openly exposed my neck for his feast of kisses.
And when he gripped my waist and in one swift move, sat me up on his lap again, I realized... he wasn't done.