I had gotten through a number of days without waking up with morning sickness, unfortunately today was the end of that.
I bolt out of bed and rush down the small hall and proceed to empty the contents of my stomach into the toilet, wishing that time would speed up and bring me into my second trimester so that this awfulness would end. "Maya." I hear him calling my name from down the hall so I call back to him, bringing him to the doorway where he stands and looks down at me. "Morning sickness" he guesses. I nod as he comes to sit behind me, rubbing my back. "I suppose all those times you thought you had food poisoning was morning sickness, huh?" I hum in response. "I'm sorry" he apologizes softly causing me to lift my head to look at him.
"Sorry for what? You aren't the one making me sick."
"In a roundabout way" he argues, rubbing his hand soothingly down my back. "If we'd just been more careful-."
"Hey" I protest, sitting up and reaching out to touch his cheek, "we both got caught up in a moment. It happens but I'm not placing blame on either one of us for my pregnancy. Okay?" He nods and if I hadn't just been throwing up, I'd kiss him but instead I spare him and stand up to brush my teeth. He lingers in the bathroom though.
"My mom called again" he tells me. I pause, toothbrush in my mouth and lock eyes with him in the mirror. "I don't know what to say to her."
I spit toothpaste into the sink. "I'd start with hello" I say in an attempt to lighten the mood. He glares at me but not in an angry way, more like he's just highly unamused at my attempt at making a joke. I turn to face him, leaning my back against the sink. "What do you want to say to her? Do you want to tell her yet?"
"You told Shawn."
"I did" I confirm, kicking at the linoleum floor while I take a deep, calming breath. "You know, you never did answer me last night...about whether they'd be upset."
His lips press into a thin line. "They're really proud of what I have going for me right now, my relationship with you included but-."
"They didn't expect us to procreate just yet" I guess and he nods. I take a step towards him, placing my hands on his shoulders. "The worst they can do is yell, they can't change our minds and make us give it up. We're adults and this is our decision. Our baby" I add causing his face to soften as he encircles my waist and pulls me closer.
"I always thought about what it would be like to have a family with you. To have kids running at our feet" he says dazedly making my heart flutter in my chest. I smile back at him. "I know I should be more terrified than I feel but I can't help but be a little excited and I think that's why I'm most afraid to tell my parents. They're going to want to know our plans, they're going to demand to know what we were thinking in the first place-."
"We weren't thinking" I protest, "that's sorta the problem. If we'd been thinking we definitely would've remembered protection." He rolls his eyes, leaning down to kiss me swiftly.
"You know what I mean" he murmurs, resting his forehead against mine. I nod knowingly because I'd had the same conversation with Shawn. He couldn't understand how, despite knowing all the ways to prevent this from happening and having access to them all, how I had still gotten into this situation. It was a natural parental response to finding out you're going to become a grandparent while your child was still at the beginning of their young adulthood. "Maybe we wait. Just for now." I nod again. I'd agree to whatever he decided because I'd been the one to wait literal weeks to tell him, the father of my unborn child.
"We'll wait until you're ready" I agree, "but you should still call her back. She's your mom and you and I both know she won't stop calling until she hears from you."
"You're right" he sighs. "I'll go give her a call. Are you gonna be okay?"
"I'm fine, feeling much better. I might take a shower though."
"Mkay" he hums, pecking my lips. "I love you." He pauses, placing his hand on my belly. "Both of you." And then he walks out of the room, leaving me with a smile on my face and my heart close to bursting.
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Josh is off the phone and lounging on his bed when I walk into the bedroom from the bathroom, drying my hair with a one towel while a horribly colored brown one hung around my figure. "Why did you pick this color for a bath towel?"
Josh tears his gaze from the television and shrugs. "They were on sale." I roll my eyes at his total masculine response and head over to the dresser where my suitcase sat open on top of it. I retrieve a pair of underwear, a black lace pair and the matching bra and drop my towel. He doesn't say anything but I can feel Josh's gaze on me and despite the couple pounds I know I've gained, I know he doesn't notice...or care.
"We should go shopping before you leave" he suggests as I turn around, clad in my lingerie. His eyes attempt to stay on mine but eventually give and roam over my figure. I'd complain if I hadn't gone weeks without the heat of his gaze on my body but now, especially as things began to grow smaller and smaller, the gaze was welcome.
"For?" I ask, stepping towards the bed.
"Well, you'll need new clothes soon. And I have an AmEx."
"Oh?" I kneel on the bed and he nods, switching off the television as I climb on top of him. "I guess I could let you spoil me...but only a little bit."
"No promises" he replies, catching my lips with his as we fall back and lose each other in between the tangled sheets of his bed. A while later, my lingerie I never had any plans of wearing out sat among Josh's clothes on the floor and my head was on my boyfriend's chest, listening to the heightened beat of his heart. "I missed this" he murmurs, kissing the top of my head while we lie together.
I hum in response. "Me too" I agree without questioning what exactly it was that he missed because lying here, wrapped in his arms I know that it's these moments. Moments when there's no sound but the beating of our hearts and nothing to do but show one another how much we love each other in ways that words will never be able to. My eyes flutter shut slowly with Josh's hand running soothingly down my back and I'm almost asleep when he speaks again.
"My mom knows you're in town."
"Oh?" I ask again. "Did you decide to tell her?" I ask, tipping my head up to look into his eyes to find him staring back at me. He shakes his head.
"I couldn't. She asked how you were and I almost told her but I clammed up." I nod in understanding, knowing the feeling well from having to endure it every single time I was on the phone with him. "She wants to have us over for Thanksgiving."
"Good" I reply, nuzzling my head against his chest. "We can tell them while they're drowsy from their food comas." He chuckles, kissing the top of my head. "It'll all be okay" I whisper softly and comfortingly. "And next year they'll all be fawning over their grandbaby and ignoring us completely."
"One can hope" he agrees, watching as my eyes start to close once more. "Enjoy your nap. I'll be here when you wake up" he assures me and I fall asleep comforted by his embrace and the sweet words that spill from his lips.
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Josh broke his promise. He's not in bed with me when I wake up but the aroma of whatever it was he was whipping up in the kitchen made up for it.
I climb out of bed, padding across the floor and heading out to the living room and furthermore to the small kitchen where Josh is hunched over the stove. "You said you'd be there when I woke up" I tease him.
He looks up, a smile on his lips. "I was planning to stay in bed with you until you woke up but I was starving and figured that with you eating for two, you would be too. So, I decided to make us some dinner. Spaghetti. I know it's basic but-."
"It's perfect" I argue, cutting him off with a kiss that he greedily returns. It's not until the sauce starts to splatter that we pull apart.
"Meet me on the couch. I'll bring you a plate." I nod, heading out to the living room and taking a seat while I wait for Josh to bring me my dinner. I grab the remote in the meantime and cue up Netflix. There were so many shows I needed to make him watch. "Here you go." I look up and find Josh holding out a plate of steaming pasta, parmesan cheese sprinkled on top.
I remembered the first time we had made this dinner together and how I had ended up having to go back to the store because he hadn't bought any parmesan cheese...as if you could eat spaghetti without it.
"You remembered the cheese."
"Duh." He replies as if it's ridiculous to think that he wouldn't. He retreats back to the kitchen to get his own plate while I cue up a show and by the time he gets back, half my plate is empty and I'm five minutes into the episode I chose. "Hey, you started without me" he complains playfully, taking a seat beside me.
"You took too long" I reply, accepting the glass of peach juice from his outstretched hand. I furrow my eyebrows then, looking down at the food and recalling the empty fridge I looked into yesterday. "Did you go shopping?"
Josh chuckles, lounging with his feet on the coffee table. "Penelope, you know there are apps for that nowadays."
I did but I didn't realize Josh had become a user of them. "Do you ever grocery shop?"
"Not really" he shrugs. "I'm not proud of it but with all the touring and studio time it's easier to eat fast food and when I am home...it's just hard the bigger we're getting. People notice you and you don't want to be rude so you end up having a full-on meet and greet just because you ran out of milk."
"Oh."
A soft smile tugs at his lips, as if he could see the gears turning in my head, questioning if he's changed since moving here. He places his hand on my thigh comfortingly. "I promise, I'm still the same guy that left New York" he assures me. "I would love to go grocery shopping or do something as normal as take you for a walk in the park but it's not that simple and besides, I didn't want to leave you here alone. Leaving the bed was hard enough."
A blush colors my cheeks as I lean over and press my lips to his. "I love you."
"I love you too" he agrees, pointing to my plate. "But there'll be time for kissing after you eat." And of course there was indeed plenty of time for kissing after dinner. So much time in fact that we both end up cleaning up the kitchen after midnight.
"Ah" I yelp, dropping a plate that was slick in my hands and watching it fall into the basin of the sink with a thud. Luckily, it didn't break but it does cause a giant splash that drenches my top.
"Woah" Josh exclaims, moving out of the way before the water can get to him too. "Try to keep the water in the sink" he teases, continuing his job which was drying the dishes I handed him. Of course, that gives me a sinister idea.
While he's turned away from me putting a plate in the cupboard I grab the retractable nozzle and crank the water, turning it onto Josh. His shirt is immediately drenched and he shouts louder than I've ever heard, spinning and taking the nozzle into his hands. "What the hell?" He asks, water dripping from his hair.
"What? You looked like you needed a shower."
"Oh did I?" He asks, stepping towards me. "Only if you join me" he adds and I think he means an actual shower but the nozzle sprays back to life and the water clings to the fabric on my figure making it incredibly heavy and uncomfortable but the smile on Josh's face and the laughter spilling from his lips makes it worth it.
"You're dead Matthews" I reply, picking up a bowl from the sink, full of water and pouring it on his head.
"Penelope" he yelps as I burst into uncontrollable laughter. There's water everywhere but it's forgotten as the nozzle falls from his hand and he grabs my waist, pulling me into a tender embrace, his lips closing over mine. "We made quite the mess" he observes, looking around us when we pull apart. I nod, following his gaze. "But it was totally worth it." Our eyes lock once more and Josh's hand reaches out to caress my cheek, his skin on mine warm despite the cold water clinging to my clothes. "Stay, don't go home right away. I know you have to eventually but I don't have to get back onto the road until after Halloween-."
"Josh." I place my finger against his lips to stop him. "I'd love to stay." And then his lips crash back onto mine while we stand in the middle of the flood, staying afloat together.