(Words: 2474)
Diabetes is funny. Well, not really. What I mean is it's weird. One wrong move and you end up feeling like you haven't been diagnosed yet. Which if you don't have diabetes or don't remember that time before you were diagnosed, it isn't a good feeling. But if you do everything you're supposed to you won't feel like that. Unless something happens. Like you get lied to about how many carbs is in something or the punch at a party is spiked and you get drunk and can't take your medicine. Those are things you can't control so don't worry about it if it happens. You know what else can't be controlled? Getting sick.
Ever since I woke up I felt off. I went to check my blood sugar and it was above 300. No wonder I felt so bad. But I also felt really warm and not hungry and my appetite is bigger when I'm high. The nausea and headache weren't out of the ordinary for a high but the feverish feeling and body aches were.
"Mom! I don't feel well!" I yell to my mother, not liking how scratchy I sound. My mom came rushing in and asked questions about my levels and if I thought I'd be good to go to school. I only had a low grade fever and I was sure some medicine would fix it so I nodded and agreed to rest when I came home and call if I felt worse. She nodded, gave me a few ibuprofen, cuddled me for a few minutes and then let me get ready. I dosed for breakfast and headed to school.
"Hinata!"
I turn around and see my boyfriend. He catches up with me and I give him a hug like always, him returning it. We walk in silence and when we get to the gates he asks if I'm okay.
"Yeah, my blood sugar is kind of high." I didn't include the sick part because it'd be over soon.
"Oh. Let me know what it is at lunch, okay idiot?"
I roll my eyes. "Love you, too."
"Glad you can translate. But seriously, lunch."
I nod and we head to our class.
It got worse. Like, way worse. I had to go to the nurse's office during class and spent a whole period resting. I begged her not to send me home because I had volleyball practice later. She agreed but I'd have to come get checked later. I thanked her and headed to lunch.
"What was it?" Kageyama asked when I sat down.
"A little higher than this morning," I admit.
"Did you take your long acting?"
"Yes."
"Are you eating sugar?"
"No."
"Then why is it so high?!"
"Because I'm sick!"
"Bullshit. You would've told me earlier."
"I thought I'd feel better!"
"Sure," he scoffed.
"Feel my forehead, Kageyama!"
"I'm not letting you trick me."
"I'm not. I really am sick!"
"Whatever. I'm going to go."
"You have to eat."
"Well maybe if I don't my blood sugar will lower and you'll believe me," I shrug while walking out the cafeteria.
Thankfully I only had 2 classes left. I'm really starting to feel bad. Emotionally and physically. I don't talk to Kageyama for the rest of the day. The day would be over soon. I just have to get through practice.
"Nuh-uh," I hear Daichi say before I enter the gym.
"'Nuh-uh' what?" I ask.
Suga pops up from behind him, looking over his shoulder. "Kageyama said you've been running high all day. You know you can't play like that," he answers.
I can't react. I feel sick and shocked and unheard. I'm so tired and now I wish I had gone home when I had the chance. I start to shake, not sure if it's from anger or my blood sugar, but I am. I am about to explain to them when my stomach flips and I'm retching in the grass next to the sidewalk.
"Jesus! Someone call 911!" I hear our captain yell.
"I'm fine," I say before retching more.
"No, you're not! How high is are your glucose levels?!" Daichi asks. Suga begins rubbing my back and trying to get Daichi to be quieter.
"I called some paramedics," Yamaguchi shouts to Daichi.
"Thanks," Daichi replies quickly.
I finally stop retching and lean against one of the walls. "Guys. I'm just sick, okay? I caught a flu or something."
Sugawara sighs. "I don't know if you know this or not but it's not safe for you to catch the flu as a diabetic. It's not like a regular person getting it. The force of your diabetes and the flu attack you at the same time and while the flu can't kill you as a teenager it could with your diabetes. So the paramedics are coming and you're going to a hospital."
Sugawara's voice was calming and I didn't realize Kageyama was there until I heard him sob. "I'm sorry, Shoyo! I should've listened and believed you and you wouldn't be so sick!"
I shift from the co-captain's arms to my boyfriend's. "It's okay. I'll be alright. I'm just tired. Can I take a nap?"
He shakes his head. "We need you awake to know you're responsive."
I pout and get comfortable. When the paramedics come they ask Coach Ukai and Takeda questions who get there 5 minutes prior. They take me on a stretcher and Takeda climbs in since an adult has to come. He calls my mom on the way and I can hear her shouting, bringing me small comfort.
"Hey, kid. We have to put an IV in so which arm do you want it in?"
I feel my skin crawl and feel nauseous again. I hate IVs. The lady must have seen my face pale and handed me a bag to vomit in. And vomit I did. I beg for them not to give me an IV through sobs and she has to explain why it's necessary. Takeda holds my right hand as she puts it in my left arm. I cry and my arm feels woozy and I can't clench the fist but my arm is also tense. I fill three more vomit bags before passing out.
I wake up being loaded out the ambulance. I still don't have control over my left arm because of my fear and I don't feel coherent but I can see my mom approaching and telling me it's okay before blacking out again.
When I wake up next I see my mom in a chair next to my bed. "Mom?" I call weakly, feeling very fatigued. She runs to me and squeezes me tight.
"How do you feel? Why didn't you call me? You're whole team is worried about you!" she word vomits.
"I feel better. I'm sorry I didn't call, I thought I was fine."
"It's alright. Just next time take a minute to self-evaluate. Kageyama feels bad by the way. They're all staying with the Nekoma team near by."
"What? Nekoma is in Tokyo."
My mom smiles sadly. She explains how I had to be airlifted to Tokyo because my condition was too bad and that the team stayed close for when I woke up. Thankfully, it was the weekend so they weren't missing school. My mom goes to get me some food and I text Sugawara.
Me: Hey
Suga: OMG YOURE AWAKE
Me: Yeah. I'm so sorry for scaring you
Suga: You better be >:(
Suga: Poor Kageyama has been beating himself up since the paramedics. Even Tsukishima was worried. In his own way of course
Me: It won't happen again, I'll be more careful
Suga: Good to hear. We're on our way to visit now, if you're up for it
Me: Yeah, that'd be nice
Me: See you soon
Suga: See you soon
I put my phone down and smile. My mom walks in with a plate of eggs and bacon from the hospital's cafeteria. "Your nurse said low carbs for now. You're still running a little high. You sure you're feeling okay?"
"Yes, Mom. Thank you." I eat my food and talk with my mom until I hear a knock on the door. It's Daichi and Sugawara. I'm surprised they didn't send Kageyama first.
"There's our little decoy. We may have accidentally walked into 2 other rooms before getting here. The room system is complex," Daichi says rubbing his neck as him and Suga walk to my bed. "How're you feeling?"
"Better," I admit.
"Good," Daichi says before giving me a dark-ish look. "You won't pull this again, right?" he asks in a kind of warning voice. I gulp and nod my head as a chill runs down my spine.
"Don't scare him, Daichi. Especially with his mother around," Suga says through his teeth with a smile. I look to my mom who's laughing behind her hand.
"It's quite alright, Suga," she says. "He needed it." I pout towards my mother as she shrugs.
"How's Kageyama?" I ask, worried about my boyfriend.
"He's still kicking himself but other than that he's fine. We're gonna send him up alone. Tanaka and Noya should be up after we leave," Suga smiles, genuine this time. Our captain nods in agreement. We talk for about 20 more minutes before Daichi gets a message from Nishinoya telling them to hurry up. They take their leave to trade out with the next pair. My mom tells me what great friends I have and I can't help but agree.
"Hinata!" I hear before getting attacked by a short libero. I smile and hug him back. "We were so worried about you and your health. You're an idiot, you know? You would've thought after all these years that you would be able to tell when you feel bad but nope, you still have to be airlifted to Tokyo. Oh! Kenma's here! He'll come up with Asahi and then Coach and Takeda, who are going to chew you out and then Yamaguchi and Tsukishima and then Kageyama. He's been super sad by the way so cheer him up!" Noya says with his usual grin. Tanaka finally jogs in, stopping to catch his breath in the doorway.
"Jeez, Noya. For someone who's been up all night you sure can run," he says in between breaths. I laugh at my two friends as Tanaka takes a seat in the window.
"You're an idiot," Tanaka says after he evens out his breathing.
I roll my eyes. "Did everyone come to give me a hard time?" I joke.
"Pretty much," Tanaka shrugs.
"You had us all worried, Hinata. You need to be careful," Noya sniffles.
"I'm sorry, Noya. But I'm okay now. And I'll be playing with you guys in no time," I reassure the shorter teen. He nods and gets off my legs to sit on the bed instead. My mom had left to go talk to Coach Ukai and Takeda. Tanaka and Noya leave in 20 minutes just like the captains, letting me know everyone is taking 20 minute turns. I was excited for Kenma and Asahi to come. Asahi was chill and Kenma was my best friend.
"Hey, Hinata," our ace said.
"Hey, Asahi. Hey, Kenma," I say to both.
Kenma looks up from his PSP and whispers a 'hey' to me. I laugh as they both take a seat on the sofa.
"Oh, Coach Ukai told me to tell you that you're running extra laps next practice because he knows I won't chew you out," the spiker says. I sigh and look to Kenma.
"I found an old game I used to play," Kenma notifies me softly. That's Kenma for you.
Asahi does most of the talking, letting me know who was staying where, how everyone was acting and how they were all glad that I was alive. Kenma adds somethings about how his team was worried too because they wanted to see our quick attacks more and just genuinely cared. 20 minutes go faster than I thought when I'm not getting chewed out. And now, for the visit I've been dreading. When Coach Ukai and Takeda walk in they have Kiyoko with them. They all take a seat on the sofa and stare at me. They don't even have to say anything but I know they will.
"That was very dangerous, Hinata," Kiyoko surprisingly starts. I hang my head in shame.
"Do you know the spot you put us all in? Everyone was worried sick. And what's even worse is the position you put yourself in," Takeda scolds. He's never scolded any of us before.
"You really oughta be more careful, Ginger. You could seriously get hurt or we could lose our jobs. The next time you feel terrible let one of us know or call home so we can skip all the hospitalizing, got it?" Coach finishes. I nod in shame. "Glad you understand. And glad you feel better. Asahi already told you about the laps, right?"
I gape at the smoker. "I thought that was a joke!" He shakes his head and I flop on my pillow. Him and Takeda laugh at my gesture and we start conversing. They ask questions like how they can tell if I feel bad in case this happens again. I tell them the warning signs and Kiyoko takes notes. By the time I'm finished listing, their 20 minutes are up. The next visit will be kind of awkward but I'm sure Yamaguchi will be helpful in preventing too much tension. He did not. Needless to say, I was glad when they left.
It was silent in my room. I had about 5 minutes until Kageyama came and my mom was still in the waiting room so Kageyama and I could get some privacy. When he finally walked in, he wouldn't look me in the eyes.
"Kageyama? Babe? Is everything okay?" I ask gently. He just nods. He keeps sniffling and that makes me worried. "Are you sure? You can talk to me."
"Why don't you hate me?" It's barely audible but I know it's what he said.
"Why would I hate you?"
"Because I didn't listen. Because I doubted you, no, denied what you said. You should be screaming at me, telling me to get out, you shouldn't forgive me," he trails off.
"Kageyama." He doesn't look up.
"Kageyama," I say a little firmer. No answer.
"Tobio." He lifts his head reluctantly. "Listen. I am not mad and I will not hate you. Just as you could've believed me, I could have called home. It's not your fault, okay? I love you and understand you were confused. Now, can you please come cuddle me? It's cold in here."
He hesitates before coming to hold me. I face his chest as he wraps his arms around me.
"You know? Being sick isn't that bad if we get to do this," I say.
"No. We're not going through all this again. We can cuddle just as much when you're well."
"I know, it's just that cuddling you makes being sick better."
He huffs but I can sense his smile. "I know."