Chapter Thirty Three- We're not our parents
I grabbed a pair of ripped blue jeans and matched it with my black tank top. I slipped the peach cardigan-- Tabby gifted me-- over my head and tied my curly hair up in a ponytail. I didn't know exactly what kind of place I was going to but I wanted to look a little more presentable than last time.
I sucked in a breath, putting on some mascara and tinted gloss to complete my look. I shoved my feet into my now clean black combat boots and snagged my purse from the bedside table.
I sprinted out and inside Alden's room, grabbing the keys from him. When he tried to either come along with me or talk me out of it, I raised a hand to stop him and gave him a hug. "I'll be fine. I promise." I tried to assure him.
He nodded, not at all convinced. But I needed to do this. I needed to know what was so important that Mr. Brinkley called me again. "Please, Alden."
When he didn't say anything, I kissed his cheek and told him I'd be back soon. Just as I swung open the front door, Easton was about to unlock it. Suddenly, it felt as if I hadn't seen him for so long but in fact I did this very afternoon. Even though it was from afar. His eyes held mine hostage at his mercy. My legs wobbled and I grabbed the door for support.
Did he read the letter?
The silence between us stretched, creating a rope around my neck and ever so slowly squeezing all the air out. I licked my lips but his eyes but he didn't even blink. I cleared my throat and sidestepped him, but he didn't move. Why was he doing this to me?
Tears poked at the edge of my eyes, ready to shed. I sucked in another much needed breath and smiled. "I-uh... Nevermind." I face-palmed myself and took one step out when his hand found my arm, gripping it so tight.
"What are you doing?"
He padded inside, apparently dragging me along with him. "Easton!" I tried to get my arm out of his grip but he was hell bent on not leaving.
I yelled, "EASTON! YOU'RE HURTING ME."
That made him stop and let go of my arm. I rubbed at his fingerprints, wincing. He ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head. "You're not going anywhere." His eyes were haunted. Dark and Intense. Painful?
I raised a brow at him, amazed at his guts. "Excuse me? Now you want to boss me around?"
When he didn't say anything, I mumbled, "Forget it," And twirled to go back out, I was going to be late.
Again, he took hold of my arm. This time not so hard. "Fine then, I'll come with you to have dinner with papa Brinkley. Bon Appetite." Sarcasm dripped from his every word.
I glanced back at him but he was already moving, his fingers wrapped around my wrist. Tingles already started to spread through my arm towards my heart, warming my insides and causing butterflies in my stomach.
Then he let go of my hand and moved towards the driver's seat while I quietly slipped into the passenger side. Chevy Corvette was our ride today. The one I got to drive. The one he let me drive.
Don't go there. Let's just get through this night.
"Does he know you're coming?"
"Why do I care?"
"Right..." I let the silence choke me to death all over again.
Even though he was right here, he wasn't. He was so far away that I couldn't reach him. I wanted him to scream, yell, or fight with me. Anything. Anything other than this silent, please.
A tear strolled down my cheek, my heart barely pounding in my chest as if it's exhausted with all the heart ache and just done with everything.
More tears streamed down my cheek and I wiped them, my face facing the window. I knew he could feel me crying, heard the little sob that left me.
His silence was deafening and my ears were bleeding.
And then we were there. He handed the car keys to the valet and we walked inside, the lavish restaurant his father had picked. I gave my name to the girl standing at the door of the restaurant and she smiled, leading the way to a table of two.
"I'll bring another chair." She added glancing at the three of us.
Mr. Brinkley was dressed in one of his business suits, hair gelled back, dimples showing. He's literally the older version of Easton. The resemblance was strikingly creepy. He extended his hand to shake and before I could, Easton placed his and shook. "Good to see you daddy."
The lady brought us a chair and Easton made sure to sit between us. I said my greetings just as two people brought us food. Plenty of it. "Apologies, but I already ordered the food while waiting."
I smiled, nodding. "That's fine. Saved me the trouble to choose." I chuckled but it was funny just to me.
Mr. Brinkley took the bite of his juicy looking steak and spoke, "Tell me about school."
I was about to reply when Easton chimed in, "It is usual, why you ask?" He raised a brow and took a bite from his dad's plate. I could tell he was testing the water and I was really not in the mood for any drama tonight.
"Cassandra?" Mr. Brinkley prompted.
"Okay, I guess. I'm not doing too good in Calculus, but photography is good. You said there was a story to tell?" I wanted him to get to the point.
Easton looked surprised and kind of lost as to what I meant. Of course he would because he didn't know anything about the last conversation which happened between his father and me.
Mr. Brinkley chugged down on his whiskey or scotch whatever it was while I sipped on the water waiting for him to speak.
He glanced at Easton and then back at me, as if contemplating saying it. "Well, I loved your mother."
And I choked, suddenly coughing and wheezing. Right away Easton was by my side, rubbing my back. "You okay?" He placed the water glass to my lips and I took two small sips nodding at him. His thumb grazed under my right eye, wiping the lone tear which strolled down.
He stood to his full height, hands balled up, jaw hardened. "What do you think you're doing? Messing with her?" He boomed, grabbing attention from all around us.
No, not right now. I straightened up, grabbing his hand in mine, running circles on the back of his hand. "Listen to me, Easton." I made him look at me, "Not here. Please. Can you give me and your father ten minutes? I'll meet you at the car. I promise." I begged, pleading with my eyes.
He stared into my eyes long and hard before giving me a curt nod. Abruptly, he leaned down, ceasing my heart, his lips grazing my ear, weakening my entire body. "I want you to call me as soon as you don't feel comfortable anymore." I nodded, his cheek against mine, sending warm shivers up and down my body. Then he left, and took his warmth along with him.
I sat back down, ignoring the amused smile Mr. Brinkley held onto his face. "Well, that was a news to me." He motioned towards where Easton went.
Heat rose to my cheeks.
I chow down on my food rescuing myself from answering.
He grinned and nodded in understanding of some sort. Clearing his throat, he went on, "As I was saying, I met your mother when she was a freshman. She was struggling to take bunch of books to a teacher's office and I offered to help. She refused. My pride got hurt. I mean... I was a Brinkley and no has ever rejected me or my help. I was twenty. And I wanted her. At every turn she rejected me until she met your dad. He was my friend and I asked him to help me get her. Instead he swiped her off her feet for himself."
Did he want me to feel bad that my dad made mom fell in love with him? Well, then he was wrong. I shrugged, "Well, it happens only when it's meant to be."
"Spoken like your mother." His dimples were showing again.
Tears swelled in my heart at him comment. "She was lovely. Her passion to paint was beyond crazy. We three used to go to these crazy adventures. I was so jealous of them but... she was happy. Then she got married and we all lost each other in some ways. Ashamed or not, I had tabs on her, making sure she had everything she wanted in her life. Then I heard she fell sick. I brought in world's best doctors--" This was so not the conversation to have over food. The last bite I ate threatened to come back up. "but they all said the same thing. I wanted to come and see her off but... I am after all a coward. I couldn't."
"Did she know?" My voice shivered and feared what he was telling and what it all meant.
His eyes shone with un-shed tears. "She did. But she never acknowledged it. Until the end."
I wiped my tears and leaned by in the chair, staring at a man who just confessed he'd all his life loved my mother.
"Why? Because she kept saying no?"
He shook his head, "Because I didn't even realize when a no or yes became insignificant to me. Her happiness topped it all. I just wanted her to be happy. Always."
I sniffed and wiped my nose with the tissue, "Why are you telling me all this?"
He too seemed done with eating. "Your dad called once he got you all back from the system. I pulled some strings and got him a job in Texas. And suggested that he send all of you to my place for stable schooling. Perhaps, graduating from this school would open better college doors for you all."
We were under his debt. Big time.
"Since I couldn't bid farewell to Anna, I wanted to help her kids. Hoping she would finally see the good in me." He shook his head as if it was such a pathetic thing and it was. He never moved on. He ruined Easton's mom's life. He chugged down his drink in one swallow and nodded towards the door.
"My son... is not me. I hope he isn't."
I think I had enough. I stood up, smiling at him through my tears. "Mom would want you to be happy. She would want you to move on."
He chuckled, running a hand over his stubble. "Some love are greater than others. Mine... well, I don't know what moving on means. Not in this life Cassandra."
I gave him one last nod and strolled out, one foot in front of another until I spotted Easton leaned against the car. He sprinted towards me just when I felt my legs would give up. He pulled me in his arms, my heart thrashing in my chest and pounding in my ears.
He pulled just a little, cupping my cheeks and watching me to find something. I whispered, "Can we go... I--"
I didn't know why... but my heart ached so bad for him. His dad. He was stuck.
I cried all the way to wherever Easton rode. He ceased the car at the start of the trail and I knew where we were.
I needed this escape.
We walked over to the cabin and he unlocked the door for me, waiting for me to step in. I padded inside and went straight to the room. I felt exhausted, my shoulders heavy and legs shimmy. I wanted to lie down. I removed my shoes, untied my hair and slipped inside the plain white comforter.
I knew Easton had questions. I had too. For mom. But now I would never get the answers.
She used to tell me stories about this boy who loved her. Who was crazy about her and did everything to make her happy. She only told me those stories when dad wasn't around. I just assumed it was dad. I thought their love was so epic. My parents love was something I kept as my idol. But it was Mr. Brinkley all along. All those stories where she felt a missing piece, an ache, the story about a crazy boy who fell for someone who was so scared of unknown that she refused to accept what lied beyond.
Easton too had removed his shoes and I shifted back making space for him. He switched off the lights and skidded beside me. Our knees touched, our faces only inches apart. His minty breath fanning my face. Without a word, he pulled me closer and I crumpled in his arms. I let the tears fall, once again feeling at home. I let the ache go and nestled closer, molding myself into him.
He accepted my tears, my hold, and kissed the side of my head. "Whatever it is. It will be okay." He said the exact same words he said to me when I broke after Dad's call on the cliff.
He'd always given me space to sort through my thoughts, helped me breathe without ever questioning anything.
I needed to tell him. I wanted to-- "I think my mom loved your dad, Easton." I literally felt his heart stop.
I pulled away just enough to stare in his eyes. "Today whatever your dad confessed, it was his way of still loving my mom by helping us all." I swallowed back rest of the tears as he wiped the remaining ones on my cheek. "Mom used to tell me stories about this boy who loved her so much that it scared her. He was different and she was from a small town, she'd heard bad rumors about that boy and always rejected him. Until the end."
Tears became heavy like rocks falling off my eyes, "Before she died she said, 'some love are greater than others'," I broke apart, "and your dad said the exact same thing tonight. Exact same words."
He pulled me in a bone crushing hug, kissing my hair. "I'm so sorry Cassandra." He whispered.
I cried and cried and cried. Until there were no tears left in me. I thought mom and dad loved each other. I knew mom did love dad without a doubt but just not enough. Her heart always belonged to someone else. Until the end.
"I'm so sorry all this time, I hid the fact that Alden and Jeanette kissed. I looked into your eyes when you told your Dad cheated on your mother and yet I didn't tell you. I'm so sorry Easton. Please, don't hate me."
He was silent for so long I thought he slept. He moved us up in the sitting position, me situated in his lap, my arms around each other. His own tears masking his eyes, ready to shed. "I hate him for what he did to my mom. He never loved her. She always felt like a stranger in this house. I can't imagine someone you just portrayed. I can't imagine my dad loving someone... that much."
I wiped his tear and kissed the corner of his lips. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry that he couldn't share his love with you." I strolled a hand through his hair, "I'm sorry he didn't love your mom because of mine."
He placed his finger on my lips, "No. It's not her fault that the man who loved her so much couldn't share it with anyone else."
This was all so twisted. Why did he tell me? Why?
"Easton I--"
He grazed his lips with mine, stealing my breath away. "These couple of weeks without you, were the worse. I hated you-- more like wanted to hate you for lying and hiding things from me. But I hated myself for doing the same to Jeanette. Even though I didn't kiss you in real, I did in my head every time I saw you. As horrible as it may sound, some days I kissed Jean thinking it was you. I don't know what defines cheating, Cassandra. I don't know if its her or me who is worse.
I cupped his cheeks, memorizing every word which fell from his lips. He continued, "I love Jean and I always will. She was there when I had no one and darkness kept swallowing me. She saved me from killing my humanity. And she will always hold a piece of my heart but, you... You have my heart. With you I want to be more, do more, live more, and love more. You held onto me when you cried and held me when I broke apart. You poke me, provoke me, and make me insane. I don't think I have ever loved anyone this much Dragon."
Then I crashed my lips onto his, our tears blending, just like our bodies. His kiss reflected every ache, every happiness, everything he felt for me. I tried to do the same. I wanted him to see for how long I have wanted this. How much I needed him. He bit my lower lip, making me moan his name, and slipped his tongue inside. His lips were everything I imagined-- even more. My first kiss was heavenly. And I think I would always remember it. Till my last breath.
Breathless, we laid side by side, staring at each other. He pulled me into his arms, "We're not our parents." I understood that loud and clear.
I nodded, kissing his chin and nestling my face in the crook of his neck, breathing him in. "I love you Easton Brinkley." I whispered just as darkness took over.