Chapter Twenty Five- Your sister is my problem
Easton
Our hearts fell in a strange but comfortable sync, beating together as one. I leaned my head on her and breathed peaches into my lungs. She always had smelled like peaches, making my mouth watery. I always had been hungry for her. Now more than ever. She was becoming my new addiction and I hated that.
I licked my dry lips and watched as sun broke into the sky and hues of different shades of yellow mixed with pale pink and light orange broke in the sky.
I felt her chest breathing evenly and knew she had fallen asleep.
I never knew what she kept closed behind the bars of her heart. I had always seen her laughing, smiling, and only finding good in people. Even in people who weren't worth it. Like me, like Brianna, like the guy who attacked her.
She's too good for her own good. Too forgiving. Too kind.
Way too irresistible for me. Avoiding her was harder than anything I had ever experienced in my life. Each time I had to walk away from her, it killed me.
But, I couldn't cheat on Jeanette. What happened the other night had went far enough. She was there, in my room, in my shirt. Her back to me and her silky smooth skin inviting me. Her shoulders and half back was bare. It was too much and I couldn't control myself even when I wanted to. I had been caging my heart for too long and it dawned on me that it wasn't in my control when I realized I didn't hate her. I couldn't hate her.
She brought out a different side of me. I wanted to be good. For her. And it only made me pull back from her.
I wanted to hate her and it only became impossible. It's been just over a month since they all invaded my home, my life, and it already felt like it's been years. Because they'd grown on me. Especially her.
I liked watching her eat breakfast with me, sharing couple of dinners too. I loved the way she laughed when Jamey randomly struck us with a weird fact. I loved how she stood strong in front of her brother at the street race night and then again in front of Arnold.
She's crazy and kept putting herself in danger. Another one of the things we both shared.
The piercing of on her belly, the tattoo on her arm told another story about her-- about her dark past. She's strong and brave and didn't easily give up. I had been thrown off the bridge every time she did something which I never expected from her. Like standing up to me, more times I could count.
She brought both my good and bad side, balancing me out. And I hated that. I wanted to hate her for that. She made me want to tell her things I'd never told anyone about my life.
I took a breath, shutting off all those thoughts and thrashing them out the back door of my head.
Pushing her loose strands behind her ear, I gazed at her adorable freckles and that tiny mole at the center of her chin-- which had been haunting my dreams ever since the afternoon in Nurse's office.
She was my blank canvas and for the first time in years my fingers itched to draw something-- to draw her. Every feature and flaw of her. Every curve and every expression of hers. All of her.
But, what the hell was I doing?
This couldn't happen.
This had to stop.
She was the risk I couldn't take but Jeanette was my safe. My safe. She was my home. Not her.
I scooped her up and slowly and carefully walked back down and laid her on the passenger's seat. I belted her in and then slipped behind the wheels.
Taking a deep breath, I let all the wounds I'd opened up close forever in me. The wound of my Nanna dying. The wound of my mom leaving. The wound of my dad becoming a monster. A fresh wound for not able to love her. Once all the wounds were closed, I heaved in a deep sigh.
Glancing her way, I let my eyes memorize her curves and edges, flaws and features... so I could paint her.
Once at the house, I took her to her room and laid her in the bed. I noticed the broken pieces of her phone and prayed to any god who would listen to take away her problems.
To make everything right in her life. To help her become strong when she wakes up and meets the reality again.
I walked down straight to the shed and took out the key from my wallet's secret pocket. Unlocking the door, I stepped inside and almost fell to my knees when nausea hit me, knocking all the air out of me.
Nanna and I used to paint here together. But, when she passed, I couldn't do it alone. So I never did and shut the door knowing I wouldn't be back here anytime soon.
But the need to draw was eating my insides, literally chewing on me. I had to let it out. Or I would go insane.
Without glancing at other canvases around me, I headed for the blank one in the back, and grabbed my tool kit and it was as if my fingers had grown a mind of their own.
When I shut my eyes, I saw her tears falling one by one on her cheeks. I saw the ache in her fist when she stood there to let it out, like someone was ripping her apart from inside out.
I also saw the hope when she screamed on top of her lungs. Because she was ready to let go even it was for one night. Because she was just as strong like the gorgeous black and grey dragon on her upper arm. I saw the happiness when she had giggled.
And that's exactly what I drew. I drew the most vulnerable and strong side of her in one picture.
It took me hours as I stood there, frantically moving the paintbrush. Probably getting paint all over me too.
But when I was done, I couldn't look away.
Her dark glossy eyes felt like they were going to blink any moment, ready to shed those tears behind them.
I swallowed and stepped back.
I drew her!
Swallowing the huge lump in the back of my throat, I backed away and rushed outside. I locked the door and put the key where it belonged. Maybe it was for the first and last time.
I grabbed a cigarette-- which I hadn't taken in couple of weeks. She was really making an influence in my life and I didn't like it. Taking a drag, I blew the smoke out and my eyes found her balcony.
This was what I did on my Sundays before Nanna died. And now, I would always keep this Sunday locked away with all those other past ones in my heart, because it really was special. She was the reason I painted again.
And she shouldn't have been.
My phone buzzed in my pocket and I fished it out.
Letting the cloud of smoke out on my phone, I wished it wasn't dad's cal. I pressed answer and put it on the ear.
"Dad..."
"Son." His voice was thick and deep. Probably like me just older.
"How's everything at the house?"
I sighed, taking a drag, "Fine," I blew the smoke out watching it disappear.
"Good. That's good... listen I'm coming home in a week."
"Okay." I threw it on the ground and stomped on it.
"Okay... I'll see you then." He hung up and I resisted the urge to kill the damn machine so he wouldn't call me ever again.
But instead, I called Janette. I could tell I had woken her up. It was ten in the morning. And Sundays were her usually sleep ins.
I needed her. Or I wanted myself to need her.
***
I rang the doorbell and ran my hand through my still very damp hair from the shower. After I had let her know I was coming, I took a quick shower making sure I didn't smell like paint. I wore my black v-neck t-shirt and blue jeans with my blue and white converse.
The door opened and I stepped inside half hugging her. Her expressions were exhausted. I leaned into her, shutting the door behind me.
I knew her parents weren't home this weekend.
I grazed my lips along with hers, trying to feel all those emotions I felt the other night with Cassandra. I wanted to know I felt even stronger with Jeanette. But nothing happened.
Swallowing my disappointment, I pulled away and saw all the unasked questions in her eyes.
I shrugged, smirking, "Couldn't a boyfriend miss her girlfriend?"
She broke her frown into smile and wrapped her arms around me. "Sure." She mumbled against me. Her sweat vanilla and pepper mint scent engulfed me and I shut my eyes. But immediately opened them when I saw honey blonde hair and gorgeous dark eyes staring back at me.
How should I stop thinking about her?
"You hungry?" Jeanette pulled away and walked into the kitchen. Her parents weren't rich like my dad. She didn't have a mansion with pool-- which was great. I didn't like any of those myself.
I grabbed the chair and pulled it towards her while she presented waffles on the plates. My mouth watered and my stomach growled. She laughed and I smiled. I loved her smile.
Jeanette was too too good for me but, she loved me. She accepted me the way I was. She didn't push my limits or threw me off bridges with any surprises. She was simple and lived by couple of rules and I loved that about her.
She had never yelled or went crazy angry on me. She had always given me more chances than I had deserved at times.
Her dark brown hair were wavy and right now tied in a messy bun on her head while couple of loose strands danced on either side of her face. Her eyes had bags under it and I wondered what caused them.
I stood up and turned her towards me. "Easton!" She whined but heat rose on her cheeks. I brushed my fingers over her cheeks and tried to feel more than the softness and coldness of them.
She was wearing cute pink and white pajamas with long sleeves grey hoodie and why the fuck I didn't want to rip her clothes?
"What's wrong?" I traced my fingers under her eyes and she sighed.
"Nothing... just some school stuff and at home it's been a little tough around without dad."
"When is he coming back?"
Her dad was an amazing PI and had usually stayed on trips for his clients. Only being home for a little while in the whole year.
She shrugged and leaned into me. Jeanette had come into my life when I was going through worse, everyday I pushed my limits to see what would happen. But then she came and everything turned bright. At least for awhile.
Then it just became comfortable and normal around her. She became my safe and I hers.
I pulled her in a hug and kissed her head. "I'm here. If you ever need to talk."
Instantly, she pulled away nodding. "Now go eat! I won't heat them for you again." Her cute nose scrunched at me.
I laughed and took my seat.
Her house was one story with three rooms, one cozy living room, and a small backyard.
The kitchen I was in was normal sized with little dinning table for four congested in there.
She made a plate for herself and sat opposite to me.
"So... what happened?"
Her brows raised with anticipation.
I shrugged, "Told you. Was missing you."
"2 in the afternoon? On a Sunday? Yeah.. right! It's as true as I was bungee jumping 5am this morning."
I laughed and swallowed the sweetness. "Had a rough night."
She nodded. She knew enough not to pester me for information. But, I felt like I owed her considering since couple of months we'd been moving into a sinking ship and now I wanted to try and fix it.
I didn't know if it was guilt of what I felt for Dragon or the fact we almost kissed that night... I wanted to try with her even more than ever before.
Just then loud footsteps echoed in the hallway and Sammy poked his head in.
I smiled, waving at him. As soon as he saw me, he rushed inside and lunged for me.
He's fifteen but, his mind is of five years old. And honestly, he's only person I love the most. More than Jeanette.
More than.... never mind.
"Where have you been all this time?!" He whined, grabbing my arm. He grew taller than I last saw. Lanky but tall. His light brown eyes shone with animateness.
"Well, I've guests over and it had been a crazy month."
He pouted and Jeanette made him a plate as well.
He sat beside and told me everything he did this month. What video games Jeanette got him.
After a hour or so, we went outside in their backyard to throw some ball.
Sammy had a small basket there and before we used to spend hours playing here.
I grabbed the ball first and tapped around him, while he laughed and tried to grab it from me.
"Do you and Jeanette still love each other?" Ball shook in my hand as he grabbed the opportunity, and threw it in the basket.
"Why you ask?"
He shrugged. "You don't stay over anymore. You don't call her every night. You don't make us breakfasts like you used to. You don't--"
I put my hands up, "Okay okay! I get it. Things are just a little different right now. You know..."
He shook his head, pouting and I laughed. "So you tell me more about what was her name? Hailey. Right?"
He nodded, twirling around me to grab the ball, "She's in my class and she thinks I'm cute."
I raised a brow, smirking. "You like her? Do you think she's cute?"
Heat settled in his cheeks and he looked away. "Maybe. To both your questions."
I chuckled and made the goal. He whined and I let him make the next one.
This was my life before Dragon came barging in, making me question everything I did. And I just couldn't stop worrying about her. Her head must be killing her if she was awake. Was she awake?
Had she confided to someone about whatever it was that broke her last night?
Seeing her drunk was like a dream come true. I knew she was a good girl but last night being proof, she had a bad side too and I liked it even if it's a glimpse of it.
But watching the heaviness behind those pools of black, broke my heart. I wanted to take away all her pain but, I wasn't meant to.
Taking a deep breath, I turned the screen of my phone off and strolled into Jeanette's room.
She had freshly showered, her hair was a curly mess and wet-- water droplets dripping from them. She was in her white button down shirt and black shorts. Even if it was October, winter didn't come until November here.
She jumped in my arms, when I wrapped them from behind her.
My heart was like it had been. No throbbing in my chest. No trying to get the fuck out of the cage.
I kissed her neck and then trailed it over her shoulder through her shirt.
She turned around and kissed me. And I was electrified with a realization as if lightening had struck me. Jeanette was kissing me just the way I had been too since I saw Cassandra.
Searching and searching for something but only got disappointment in the end.
Why was Jeanette searching for that something?
I pulled her into me and caressed her lower lip, taking it in my mouth but I had to pull away.
For some reason, it felt wrong and when I looked in her eyes, we just stared. Something unsaid crossing between our eyes.
"Can you guys get me some donuts? Please?"
We both nodded, happy to be rescued from the blanket of awkwardness.
"I'll start the car."
"I'll grab my purse."
And then that was all we said all the way to Zion's Cafe. We walked in and I felt her stiffen beside me. I directed my gaze to where she looked.
Alden.
Alden worked here?
"He works here?" She stepped away from me and shrugged. I didn't know. I hadn't come here in awhile.
Her voice was strained and her stance too protective of herself. Was she afraid was Alden?
Had the asshole made a move on her?
My balled my hands but she smiled. "Let's just order. Okay?"
She was hiding something. I had felt this kinda thick deafening silence in our AP English class or sometimes in the house when we all were there.
I always thought it because of me and Dragon.
We gave our order to the cashier and he started packing the donuts. Alden stalked to us, without glancing up and stopped dead when his eyes met hers. His shoulders stiffened and ever so slowly his eyes trailed to her hand around mine then up at me.
Recovering quickly, he walked to us. "Easton."
I gave him a curt nod while he rounded the corner and took the cashier's place, putting the money in order in the register.
Her hand was getting clammy against my skin and I felt the realization of this moment like knife in my gut.
It was the same awkwardness which I felt when Jeanette and Dragon were in same room.
The guy who took our orders handed us the donuts and coffees to us.
And what I did next, I didn't know why I did that.
I pulled Jeanette to me and kissed her. I felt her try to push away from me but, like an asshole I kissed her deeper.
Until a hand grabbed me and shove me in the wall behind me.
My eyes met Jeanette's who had tears in her eyes, and unbelievably stared at me. Fuck! I would be punching me if I was her.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Alden growled, stepping in front of me.
Everyone was staring at us by that moment, ceasing their chatters.
The cashier guy came around Alden and whispered something to him. It made Alden back off and he turned around grabbing her hand, asking, "You okay?"
So he was in love with her.
Great!
Perfect!
Jeanette rushed out, shaking her head.
I ran after her but Alden grabbed me. "What the hell is your problem?"
And I lost it.
We weren't in the cafe anymore. I pushed him hard and snapped. "My problem? You guys came in my house, my life and you're asking what's my problem? Your sister is my problem!" I yelled and deserved the punch he threw at me.
"You're fucking crazy and you have issues. Stay away from my sister or I'll kill you!!"
I ran a hand through my hair and spit the blood out.
"Fuck off!" I walked over to my car and saw Jeanette had already left.
And I had never wanted to scream more than I did in that moment.