➮ WARNING
This story contains and mentions lot of sensitive topics such as: anxiety, depression, other mental illnesses, suicidal thoughts and behavior, suicide, violence, sexual assault and abuse, substance abuse, neglect.
There are also mature themes such as: strong language, sexuality, and ideologically sensitive topics.
If any of the topics above are triggers, please think twice before proceeding. From this point on you are reading at your own will.
➮ KEEP IN MIND
In addition, this book does not romanticize mental illness because love does not fix people. It is centered around growth and character development. There will be dorky moments and some romantic moments. However, if you like stories that are just fluff, I'd advise you to reconsider.
Also, the story is a slow burn so expect the relationship between character to grow over time.
➮ PLEASE CONSIDER
The quotes at the beginning of each chapter correlate with the chapter and at times helps explains concepts and how certain characters feel/think.
➮ SIDE NOTE
| | | = Time Skip
| | | Author's POV | | | = Point of View
Switches
____________________________
"You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of." —Jim Rohn, entrepreneur, author, motivational speaker
||| (F/n)'s POV |||
"Oi, Eiji, breakfast is ready! Hurry up and come out!" I shouted at him. I wondered what was taking him so long any way, he was eight what more did he need to do than shower.
Finally, he came out with a new hairstyle, he had slicked his hair back like the guys from one of the old 50s movies we watched.
Oh, lord.
"Nice hair." I said sarcastically. "I have one question: why?" I took a sip of my coffee.
He casually jumped up to sit on the chair with the hot plate in front of him. "It's a new school year," he popped his collar, "I have to show Sara that I'm a man now." Eiji stood the tallest four-foot-four he could be with his chest out.
"Sara, huh? You've liked her since pre-school." I commented. "You still haven't told her about your little crush."
Eiji blush started at his toes and rose to his face. I could see smoke coming out of his head from embarrassment. I arched my brow in amusement. I spoke once again, "Let me give you some advice. You don't need to change who you are for anybody because you are great... even if you're an idiot." I fixed his collar and ruffled his hair so it was back to its natural mess. He yelled and fought with me.
He clicked his tongue at me and crossed his arms in annoyance. He started muttering, "I'm not an idiot. What type of advice is that? That's funny coming from someone who's never had a successful relationship."
"Oi, oi, oi. Why you little-"
Eiji booked it and ran away from him while calling me an idiot. This little shit. Unluckily for him, catching up was a breeze. I trapped him on the ground and wrestled him until he begged for mercy.
The rest of our morning went on, we ate breakfast and headed out the house. Before, going to my school I had to drop Eiji at his school. We walked to his primary school together.
I knelt down to his height.
"Remember to be yourself. And with Sara, make sure you treat her like your friend. Don't listen to the movies. The guys in those 50s movies saw girls more of an object than people. If you want Sara to like you treat her like your equal. 'Kay?"
"You got it, dude!" Eiji said. He gave me a thumbs up and full flashed his signature cheeky smile.
"Get out of here. Have a good day!" I lightly shoved him to signal him to start walking. I waited until he was inside the building before I headed to school.
I walked silently on my own. Finally, I stood in front of Aobajohsai High, a private high school in the Miyagi Prefecture where I lived. I honestly didn't think I'd survive this long, but here we are first day of the last year of high school.
I walked in and changed my shoes at my locker. I kept to myself and headed to class. My homeroom was Class 3-5, an advanced placement, college preparatory class here. I was early as usual. I put my head down on my desk to rest my mind and eyes until school actually started.
There was nothing special about today especially since volleyball practice officially started tomorrow, and not today for the new first years. Today, however, the second years and third years were getting everything ready for the new first years. Volleyball was the only thing that actually kept me interested in school.
I didn't really make friends with anyone. I was on good terms with the members on the team, but that was about it. I really didn't find it necessary to make friends nor did I have time for them.
||| Oikawa's POV |||
I walked through the hall with my childhood friend, Iwaizumi, as we walked I conversed with him. "Iwa-chan, aren't you more excited!?" I cheerfully said. My arms were crossed behind my head while I walked. "This is our year to finally beat Shiratorizawa. Nothing has me more pumped."
I walked into my classroom, Class 3-6. There was some girl sitting in my seat. When I got closer, she seemed to be asleep. Now, this is awkward. I gently poked her arm. She lifted her head and slightly glared at me.
I flinched at her immediate glare.
I took a second it study her and it was just (L/n). (L/n) and I have been going to the same school since junior high. I never really had a reason to talk to her so I never really did. I just knew who she was. The only thing I actually knew about her is that my girlfriend doesn't like her all that much for whatever reason.
"I think you're in the wrong class. This is my seat." I told her.
She was about to responded but Iwa-chan entered the classroom yelling at me. "Oi, Shitty-kawa, stop bothering (L/n). Why are you in my class any way?"
"Huh? Your class? This is Room 3-6."
"No, this is Room 3-5. I turn my back to you for one second and you can't even handle yourself." Iwa-chan said.
I looked around at the classroom and realized that the homeroom teacher's name on the board didn't match up with my homeroom teacher's name. My gaze fell back on (L/n) who witnessed me get yelled at by Iwa-chan.
I put my hands together in a prayer position and slightly bowed my head to her, "My bad." I said.
"It's fine." She plainly stated, she put her head back down to relax and ignored my presence. I would have expected her to say that it was not a problem at all and she was glad to talk to me, but no. I got nothing. That's a first.
I walked to the entrance of the classroom where Iwa-chan was. He smacked me over the head and scolded me for distributing her.
"Okay, okay." I said. "Why does it matter to you so much, it's not like I ruined her life?"
"For someone as observant as you, you're really dumb." Iwa-chan said. I turned back to what he met. (L/n) leg restlessly shook and she kept turning her head, discomfort was very visible from her after our interaction. "She's not really a big people person and you already ruined her day by setting her off. Congratulations."
I blew my bangs away from my face. There was nothing more I could do.
|||
I came into Class 3-5 for lunch to bother my favorite Iwa-chan and see my girlfriend, Watanabe Yui. Upon entering, (L/n) was trying to exit, we almost collided but her crazy reflexes made her spin out the way and continuing walking as if I wasn't just standing there.
She's so strange.
I walked into the class loud and proud. Yui came to my side. Yui was one of the prettiest girl in school. She short and petite. She had long black hair with the front two strands dyed blonde. She had narrow reddish-brown eyes and a beauty mark on her cheek bone by her left eye.
"Hey, baby." I greeted. She joined me with my group of friends for lunch.
However, after lunch I had to return back to my class on my way. I passed by (L/n), she didn't even acknowledge me and went on her way. Now this is getting annoying.
Either way, I breezed through my next few classes and headed out for volleyball with Iwa-chan us being Captain and Vice-Captain meant we had to be there before everyone else was there. There wasn't much I could do because of this knee injury.
Once again, (L/n) walked by me with no acknowledgment of me. My eyes followed her. She was dressed in workout clothing, walked into the other gymnasium at our school. I had no idea she was in the volleyball club. Before entering she turned her head towards me, when she saw that I was watching her she gave me a nasty look as she walked inside.
"Dude, if you keep looking at her like that you're going to pick a fight." Iwa-chan said.
"I'm not looking at her like anything."
Iwa-chan proceeded to do an exact replica of my dirty expression. I crossed my arms at him, "I don't look like that." I whined. He rolled his eyes at me.
||| (F/n)'s POV |||
During lunch, I usually went to eat by myself on the rooftop if I had the energy to move from my seat. While I was up there, I picked up my phone and called my mother's number. It was answered by her associate, Reo.
"Hi, Reo. Is mom there? Can I speak to her?"
"I'll try to get her attention. Meanwhile, how's your first day going, kid?" Reo asked. I'm sure it was more in pity than actual concern. Most of the time, when I tried to speak with Mom I had ended up leaving a message with him. Plus, I'm not one hundred percent certain, but I'm like ninety-seven point five percent sure that Reo was Eiji's father. He was only nice to me because he probably felt guilty for placing the responsibility of raising a child on me.
"It's fine." I said.
Reo tried to get Mom to speak with me, I could hear them talking on the other end of the line. Until Reo, came back and said she was too busy to talk right now. "Can I leave a message?" He asked.
I combed my hand through my hair and signed. I wasn't surprised just disappointed.
"Yeah, tell her that. Eiji's birthday is coming up. Can you please make sure she at least calls him maybe even send a present?"
"Yes, I'll do that. Alright, bye Ms. (F/n)."
"Bye, Reo." I flipped my phone down to hang up. I looked down at my lunch. I wasn't hungry anymore.
I went through the rest of my day. After school, I headed towards the gym. For the however many times, I ran into Oikawa. My eyes subconsciously rolled on their own. This was getting excessive.
I simply kept walking. I felt someone's eyes still on me. My head turned to the source only to see Okiawa with his chin up looking down at me. My eyes narrowed and my brows frowned at him. The hell?
|||
After school, I went to pick up Eiji from karate. The only way I could stay after school is if Eiji had somewhere to be after school and not home by himself.
"How'd it go with Sara today?" I asked.
"I," he said all confidently, "didn't even talk to her." His voice dwindled down through the statement. I laughed at him.
"Hey!" He yelled at me in annoyance. He hit my side in an attempt to make me pay for laughing at him. "I'll talk to her tomorrow, you'll see." He asserted.
"I'm sure you will... What do you want to eat for dinner?" I asked.
"Pork bowl!" He jumped up extremely high in excitement.
"Woah, little man has hops." I commented.
"Speaking about hops, I think I want to start playing volleyball instead of doing karate. You play volleyball plus all my friends do too." Eiji said.
"Uh... okay, you just have to finish this week since that's when the lasts payment ends and I'll see if there's an volleyball teams around for you." I told him.
"Yeah!"
When we got home, I told Eiji to hit the showers while I prepared dinner. Once he was done showering and changing, he sat in front of the tv while waiting. I finished up with dinner, we ate together, after I did my homework and helped Eiji with his. After, I sent him to bed because there was school tomorrow, of course.
I cleaned up around the kitchen: I wiped the counters, swept the floors, and washed the dishes. I went over to my room, I took a seat in front of my computer and took a look at how much was in my bank account. It wasn't low or bad, but when volleyball practices were going to start to pick up it'll be troublesome to try to earn money.
Mom used the send monthly payments but after junior high, she just stopped for no reason. She, at least, still pays for the place. If I had to, there was no way I could play volleyball at all.
Either way, just to be safe money wise. I got started on art commissions. Between now and five am I could probably knock out three hard ones and six simple ones. It wasn't like I was tired anyway.
I sat down and pulled out my drawing tablet to get started. Three posters would earn me a total of ¥22,639 and the six simple ones would earn me about ¥19,405. Which is a total of ¥42,044. If I push through these all week like this that's about ¥294,300.
Plus with my music that's streaming, that would be ¥475,956, but I had to wait for the end of the month for that payment and I have to pay the bills next week.
Between, food, water, clothing, footwear, other miscellaneous spending, phone bills, internet, Eiji's birthday, his birthday present, his volleyball lessons, medical necessities, and my volleyball fees monthly expenses— granted April was always the most expensive month for me— are about ¥460,000.
I slammed my head against my desk. I preferred two be at least three months secure with the money coming in to do that I'm going having to take more commissions and find a modeling gig to keep me busy after practice on Saturday.
I looked at the time and it was already six in the morning. I guess I forgot to sleep. I stood and walked to Eiji's room to wake him up for school and prepared for school myself. I gently sighed and prepared for my day as well.