Pairing: Kylo Ren x Reader
Warning: Drinking
Word Count: 2,146
Requested: Yes!☺️🖤
A mix of Harry Styles "Falling" and Prompt #2 "You're so fun to touch."
I fell in love with this song so I'm going to make this angsty and fluffy🖤
Lyrics from Fall by Harry Styles.
I'm in my bed
And you're not hereAnd there's no one to blame but the drink and my wandering handsForget what I saidIt's not what I meantAnd I can't take it backI can't unpack the baggage you left
It was another night of drinking. Another night of falling into a pit of dispair. Another night of staring at the ceiling wondering what went wrong. Another night. If you could go back to that regretful night, you would. It had been three weeks post break up, and you had begun to turn into someone you didn't recognize. Being in a relationship with Kylo Ren, required, a lot of effort, a lot of trust and communication, and most importantly, a lot of understanding. Kylo, didn't want to make your relationship public, while at the beginning you were understanding, however you grew less and less understanding during the relationship, a year had gone by, and the man still didn't want to make it known.
He had practically, every female, throwing themselves at him, and yet he couldn't understand why you wanted to go public. It began to feel like the relationship was a dirty little secret, and that's not the type of relationship you wanted. The stress of being kept secret was enough to cause major turmoil in the relationship. Kylo, didn't seem to be bothered by this at all. That is until the night of the break up, everything that was unsaid unraveled at an alarming rate.
"I just don't understand!" You yelled in frustration, bringing your hand up to your face rubbing angerly.
"What are you not understanding!"
"Why you don't want anyone to know about us!"
"I am not having this argument again!" He huffed in anger, making his way to his bedroom.
Following him on his heels, you bellowed, "Is there someone else? I Just...." Your voice cracked before you could finish, as tears threatened to fall down your cheeks.
"You just what?" He spat in anger.
Sighing, you knew this fight wouldn't end well, "I just need to know. We.... We can.... We can work through it?" It came out as more of a question than a statement.
"What if I've decided I've had enough. That I don't want to work through it?" He questioned while doing something in his closet.
Kylo, knew what he was doing, he thought the best way to protect you, was to push you away. The truth is, that he loved you, more than anything in the entire galaxy. He even whisked away Megan, your girl friend, and Jake your best guy friend, to go look at rings with him. He wanted forever, and he wanted forever with you.
There had been many, many threats against you. He wasn't sure how they knew about you, which is why he wanted to keep the relationship "Secret," he couldn't be bothered to give a damn if anyone on the ship didn't want you together. It was the looming threats on your life, from different sources, that bothered him. How could he expect to be a Husband if he couldn't protect you?
Kylo, had busied himself in his closet, not being able to stand how much he was hurting you. Every word, he spat, he knew the damage that was done. He couldn't bring himself, to witness the tears that were streaming down your face, or the hurt that was plastered on your face, all because of him. Kylo, knew you all too well, he knew the emotions that you would be feeling, using your greatest fear against you. Being hurt and alone were the only things you feared in the entire universe and here he was using them.
"What?" You gasped. The hurt in your voice taking over.
"I can't do this anymore."
"Do what anymore?"
"This..Us."
"If you don't end it, I will."
Silence. For the first time in days, there was silence. The silence was mixed with something else. Defeat. It was the sound of two hearts breaking.
He knew how far he pushed you, when all he wanted to do was bury himself with you.
The sudden, sound of his chamber door closing, echoed through out. Now it was his turn to be truly afraid of being alone.
The sound of a gentle knock was heard throughout. Groaning, you slowly sat up. Now, only if the room would stop spinning you could get up. After, a few seconds you attempted to answer the door, stumbling and swaying in the process. Opening the door, you were greeted with two faces, that you weren't expecting.
"Hey, Y/N."
"We knew you'd be here... Uh, mind if we join you?"
Your best friends had shown up at your chambers, with alcohol in hand. You were surprised, to say the least, especially since you had kicked them out of your apartment, and barked at them how much you hated them a few nights prior.
"Please! I could use the company." You offered with a soft smiled. Telling them all about, your broken heart.
What if I'm down?What if I'm out?What if I'm someone you won't talk about?I'm fallin' againI'm fallin' againI'm fallin'
The alcohol, stopped numbing the pain forcing you to face the all too real heart break. You had tried to keep your life business as usual, but quickly found out just how much your life revolves around Kylo. It turned into a journey to self discovery again. Being able to step foot in the ship cafeteria was a new one. You and Megan would often stargaze and talk about life whenever you couldn't sleep.
That didn't stop you from missing him, no matter how hard you tried. Some nights, you laid awake staring at the ceiling, wondering if he ever talked about you, or if he was having just as hard of a time getting the thoughts of you out of his mind. You were exhausted. Just the smallest thought of Kylo, kept you up at night.
Practically every night, you found yourself wondering the halls as you were becoming an insomniac. However, tonight was a different story. Turning down one of the many, many hallways onboard the ship, you ran into a similar tall black figure.
"Kylo?" Disbelieve coursing through your body.
"Yes, baby?"
"Are you... Are you drunk?"
Suddenly, he found your question humorous, laughing before replying, "Just a smidge.."
'Oh good,' now I know how Megan and Jake felt you thought.
"Alright, let's get you home big boy."
"You're coming home?"
"Well I'm just-"
Throwing his arms around you, he pulled you close to his body before continuing, "I've missed you baby."
"Okay, Kylo. Come on."
Kylo tripped and stumbled along the way to his chambers. As soon as you got him into bed, his enormous hand, clamped down on your wrist not letting you go.
"Stay... please."
Turning to look at him, his eyes were filled with regret and sorrow. It seemed as if he was overwhelmed by them.
Breathing out in defeated you replied, "Okay."
Once you were secure under the blankets, Kylo immediately, pulled you to his chest. Never in your whole relationship, have you seen the man drunk.
Giggling, he said, "You're fun to touch! So soft."
"Okay, Kylo. Time for bed," you couldn't help but laugh, at the drunk gentle giant.
"I'm sorry... the breakup was my fault." He paused, but then continued with his confession, "There was too many threats on your life... I... I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you."
"Kylo...."
"I thought I was protecting you, if we broke up," he let out a frustrated sigh, "I thought the threats would stop... but they didn't."
"I'm sorry."
"Why didn't you tell me? I would've understood.."
"I know...You're so caring, and understanding... Always putting my needs before your own... I just wanted to return the favor."
"Kyl-."
"I miss you.. I... I can change if you want me to..."
Not giving him the chance to continue, his drunken rambling, you took his face in your hand and kissed him. He reacted quicker than you thought possible. His lips were moving feverishly against yours.
"Let's go to sleep. We can talk in the morning."
Fresh brewed coffee filled the air. Remembering where you were, you quickly sat up. It wasn't until you made your way past a mirror, that you realized you had fallen asleep in one of Kylo's sweaters, easily making it past your knees serving as a night sweater.
"Goodmorning." Kylo said, as he kept shifting his weight from one foot to the other, "Y/N, uhm.. about last night I-"
You cut off his nervous ramblings again, with a kiss. The kiss deeped almost instantly, his hands wandering over your body, before landing at your hips. Your hands tangled themselves in his soft black hair. He pushed his hips into yours, trapping you against the lower kitchen cabinets. Before it could get anymore heated, he lifted you onto the counter so you were closer in height.
"You love me again?" His voice coming out wrecked.
"Baby, who says I stopped?"
Smiling at the nickname, he placed chaste kissing along your throat, with each kiss, came and "I love you."
A month has gone by, since your reconciliation with Kylo. It was better than before, everyone knew you were together. If Kylo, could've climbed to the top of the space ship, and scream if for all the galaxy to hear, he would've. Little did you know, he was planning on asking you something very important.
Once you woke up, you made your way to the kitchen. There was a note, by the coffee pot. It read:
'Be ready by 7pm. Everything you need, is already in our chambers.'
As soon as seven rolled around, you were bursting at the seams. Kylo, had picked a nude ball gown, with a white leaf tull to go over the top.
There was a rough knock at the door. Opening, the door you were met with five knights of Ren. Kylo, being the one that was missing.
"Miss Y/N, we are here to escort you, to meet Sir, Kylo."
You followed them down, many twists and turns through the ship. It wasn't until you reached a secluded hallway, that you were wondering what was happening.
Once you reached the designated hallway, the Knights of Ren, stepped away from you and stated, "From here, you proceed alone."
After the tall man, stepped aside you saw the hallway lined, with dozens upon dozens, of pink peonies, your favorite flower. Below them, were white candles lighting the pathway for you walk.
Each flower, had a little note of a favorite memory, Kylo had with you. The closer you got to the end, more rose petals were spread along the floor. Your eyes falling on a familiar set of chocolate brown eyes. Once you got close enough, he got down on one knee and asked four simple words.
"Will you marry me?"
"Yes."
Kylo had taken the next step in your relationship, and wanted to make you his bride. Eternity was a long time, but not nearly as long, with you by his side.
Six months had passed, and it was your wedding day. You and Kylo, didn't want to make a big deal out of it, so you invited Megan and Jacob, along with the Knights of Ren, to your elopement. Seeing Kylo, in a tux for the first time was breath taking.
"I love you, Wife." He overcome with joy.
Replying with enthusiasm you said, "I love you too, Husband."
It wasn't often you got to spend more than one day together. You were able to keep him away from work for three days, before there was an absolute emergency that they needed to whisk him away.
Four months after saying, "I Do." You we're beginning to feel extremely nauseous. It wasn't long, before you were running sick, to the bathroom.
'Maybe I'm pregnant.' You thought. Shaking the idea from your head, you made your way to the kitchen, once again being overwhelmed with a nauseous feeling. Kylo, walked in the door, with the sickening smell. It was lunch. Once again, you took off in the direction of the bathroom. Resting your, head on the toilet lid, kylo was situated on the floor by you, gently rubbing your back, after he was done holding your hair back.
"Are you okay my love?"
"Yeah," you let out a sigh, "I guess I'm not feeling well today."
Letting your conscience speak, you took a pregnancy test. The results seemed to take forever, even though it was only a matter of minutes. Once the results showed, all the color that was left in your face, had drained.
Deciding it was now or never, you opened the bathroom door and was met with your eager husband.
"I'm pregnant."