When I reached my dads house my phone went off in my pocket, it was Jake. I was walking up to the door so I silenced my phone and let it go to voicemail. I rubbed my sweaty hands on my jeans and knocked on the door twice. Finally, I heard the door open slowly. My father just stared at me, with the puffy eyes Sarah told me about. "Hi dad. Can I come in?" He moved to the side without a word, good start. I walked in to see the house a wreck. There were empty pizza boxes and takeout cups everywhere. It seriously looked like a frat house you see on movies. "Dad, what happened?" He ran his hands down his tired face and sat in his chair. "Gracie, I guess I need you more than I thought. I don't know what I was thinking letting you go that day without saying anything. I guess I saw how independent you were and how much of a free spirit you really were and it scared me. I haven't kept you sheltered this long without my reasons. Your mother was that way when I met her and that's what I loved most about her. I pushed that side of her way deep down when I became a pastor. I could see how sad she became trying to be perfect for me, for the church. Now don't get me wrong I love the Lord and I love my church, but I could've put her before my work a lot of times. I regret it every day."
He wiped away a tear and I couldn't help but shed a few myself. My father was being vulnerable with me and it was something I've never seen from him. I wanted to wrap him up in a hug but we were never affectionate. instead I just looked intently at him and smiled every now and then when he spoke. It was like he was holding all of this in for so long and finally let it out. "Dad, I know I blamed you for a lot of things but I'm an adult, I should've said something. I'm so sorry for just walking out that day. I should've stayed and talked things out with you but I was just so angry. Mostly at myself for not saying something sooner." He continued to sob and held my hands in his. "Gracie, come back. I promise things will be different, I'll be different."
I let go. of his hands and walked backwards a little, confusion shot in his eyes. "Dad listen. I've actually pursued my singing career in the city and it's going really well. I haven't got signed yet but the label I'm working with is having me write a few songs for them to look over before they decide." it was all coming out like word vomit but I couldn't stop. Once I caught my breath he had this look on his face, one I knew I'd never forget. "Gracie, that city. That music. it's blasphemy and I will not deal with it. Now you're my daughter and I love you but I cannot support that. I think you should leave" My heart sank so far into my body I thought I would leave it behind. I gathered the last of my things and took one last look at the house I grew up in, the man I grew up with. Then I shut the door of a thousand pounds.