"Numb, broken and defeated..." by N. J
ETHAN'S POV.
I witnessed my father lose himself when my mom died when giving birth to my younger sister.
It was hard for him.
He lost his wife and a child.
I was only six at the time. I thought it was really painful to lose my mom all because of a sister I never got see.
I had blamed the dead baby for taking my mom away from me.
At some point, I even blamed my father for getting her pregnant again.
It was twisted, believe me.
And I was in a lot of pain.
But...
Right now, watching Kendra scream and push me away while blaming me for Emily's death, tore me apart.
She didn't even want to see my face, talkless of hearing my voice.
I tried to understand her, I really tried but it really hurt to be blamed for something no one had control over.
I heard the faint sound of someone sobbing and rounded the corner to find Kenna perched by the wall and crying her eyes out.
Oh I forgot to mention, yeah, Kendra blamed us both for Emily's death, seeing as Kenna advised and prepared Emily for the surgery, she was obviously a target.
I sighed and sat on the floor beside her.
I really didn't know what to do, this wasn't a man's forte.
Well, unless that man was me and the person crying was Kendra.
God, I'd do anything for her.
I love her so damn much, it was unnatural.
"If I am this h-hurt," she began, "I can't even begin to imagine what Kendra is going through."
It's true. Emily was her everything.
I even felt jealous of Emily sometimes. She held all of Kendra's attention and her heart.
After Kendra went unconscious, the doctors seemed to be confused of what exactly was happening.
She was grieved, yet her whole body seemed to shut down.
Her brain wasn't cooperating at all and neither was her heart.
It was like she was giving up.
She did wake up at one point, but that was a terrible moment for me.
She blamed me, didn't want to see my face and I was thrown out because she almost experienced a cardiac arrest.
She did same to Kenna, hence why we were both in a corner in this empty corridor.
"She'll get over it soon..." I whispered to her trying to convince myself more.
"Soon could be in two years..." she chuckled sadly and my eyes widened.
Kendra bore a lot of scars but she was the kind of person whose wounds took a very long time before they healed and turned into scars and even then, the scars traumatized her just as much as the initial wound.
"You should try and talk to her again, she loves you and would probably listen to you." She whispered.
Hope.
"Thanks Kenna. You're a good friend to Kendra, this isn't your fault."
"I know." She smiled.
Kenna was beautiful, I'll admit. She looked like a nerd who always kept her nose buried in books and at the same time she had the face and physique of your typical cheer leader.
I didn't know much about her, but I couldn't help wonder what her story was.
I got up from where I sat and brushed off the dust from my pants prepared to have a talk with Kendra.
I walked into her room, still in the VIP section to avoid unwanted guests, and found no one inside but Kendra.
She was laying in her bed and staring at the wall. She didn't even seem to blink.
She just stared.
"Kendra... Love..." I called out.
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
I continued anyway, "Love, I know you're hurt, believe me, we all are. We all loved Emily and it hurts us all that she left. She was my daughter for-"
"No!" She said blankly and focused her sight on me.
I wished she hadn't done that though.
The amount of hate and disgust I saw in her eyes was one I wouldn't even wish for my enemy.
You will never truly understand pain until the woman you love so much, looks at you in such a way.
"She wasn't your daughter." She said calmly.
"I know that love, but-" I was interrupted by her screaming.
"She was MY daughter. MINE. ALONE. You don't understand, you'll never understand. She wasn't yours, all you did was play a stupid fucking role of a shitty father to her just so you could get me to like you. Don't you dare say she was your daughter."
Her words struck me hard.
"Love, I know it's the hurt speaking and you don't mean anything you've said." I tried.
"I mean every fucking thing I said. My Emily would still be here if she hadn't gone through the god damn surgery you paid for. She would be here if I hadn't listen to you tell me everything was going to be okay. My Emily is gone because of you, you took away my everything. Why? Why Ethan? You said you loved me." I watched the tears roll down her face as she spoke.
"I love you Kendra..." I whispered.
"Well, take your love and go somewhere else because I don't need it. I don't need you. Get out!"
"You don't mean that," my eyes widened.
"GET OUT!" She screamed again.
"Love, we can get through this together. God knows I love you, I love you Kendra." I pleaded.
But she shut her ears with her hands and screamed for me to get out.
A nurse came in and had me leave. I was furious, livid even.
I left the hospital completely and got into my car.
I was in pain.
I wasn't one to cry, but it took the right person to hit the right nerve.
I drove until I reached my building with one intention in mind.
The elevator ride and everything else didn't register in my mind until I arrived at my destination.
I stared at the pink door that contrasted all others in view and was adorned with a huge E.
I stared hard at it, the words Kendra said kept repeating themselves in my head.
She wasn't yours...
I kicked down the door.
All you did was play a stupid fucking role of a shitty father.
I saw red.
I reached for anything my hands could destroy.
I broke every single thing I could break.
I entered the bathroom and paused as I saw my reflection in the mirror.
My Emily would still be here if she hadn't gone through that god damn surgery you paid for.
Punch.
Emily is gone because of you.
Punch.
You took away my everything.
Punch.
Take your love and go somewhere else because I don't need it.
Punch.
I don't need you.
Punch.
GET OUT!
Punch.
GET OUT!
Punch.
GET OUT!
Punch.
"Hey! Man, cut it out. Stop!"
Punch.
"Ethan, cut it out!"
Punch.
"STOP!"
He tackled me to the floor.
The mirror was destroyed alongside my fists.
Blood was everywhere and the bathroom resembled a murder scene.
Marc truly was a best friend and I was glad he had a spare key to my house in that moment.
"Shit man. What the hell?" He asked.
I just shook my head.
Before I knew it, we were both seated in the kitchen as Jennifer took care of my hand which was ruined.
"I still think he should go to a hospital." She told Marc.
He had called her as soon as he managed to get me out of Emily's bathroom.
"You know how stubborn he can be..." he trailed off.
"What happened man? Is it Kendra?" Marc turned to me.
"Is Kendra okay?" Jen asked.
They both knew Kendra. She was Jen's OB-GYN.
They also knew everything about my relationship with her.
It was after all Jennifer who helped me set up the playhouse for Emily as well as ask Kendra to be my girlfriend.
They both knew everything about my relationship with Kendra and were in disapproval of my fake identity.
"Emily's dead." I stated.
I could hear Jen gasp. Marc merely inhaled a deep breath.
I sighed and explained everything that happened. Even Kendra's cruel words.
"She's just hurt, she doesn't mean it." Jen assured me.
"I know, but it doesn't lessen the pain."
They tried to comfort me, but Jen eventually left to get back to her baby while Marc spent the night with me.
I appreciated him and all the reassuring words he said.
But the truth was, nothing could lessen the pain I felt.
My heart seemed constricted. Emily's death hurt, now, Kendra just worsened the pain.
It was unbearable.
OMG!! Guys, please don't hate me. I had a terrible case of writer's block.
Please please please vote.
Much love, Joy.